Team Milky Way 2
by celestial-insanity
Summary: Miracles can happen. Things can be changed, rewritten. Abby, HK, and Sarah found this out before – but now they'll be even harder pressed to save the galaxy from destruction. Sequel to Team MilkyWay and Passages.
1. Chapter 1

**(Abby)**

I was sitting down at home, hunched over the laptop, my things spread out across the floor like I owned the place.

And then I blinked.

The sound was the first thing I noticed; the absence of the dishwasher in the background, replaced with the noise of machinery and technology I hadn't heard in... God knows how long. The people talking around me, the mumble of restaurant-type conversations in the background. And then it was the smell of cleanliness, something so uniquely different from my house full of dogs that it took me a second to realize what the absence of odor meant. And then...

I opened my eyes.

Color. Lights. Bright, bright sunlight that I could feel on my bare arms and legs. The shined shoes of people walking briskly from place to place. Strange clothing. I looked up, my throat seeming to close with horror, following the white metal floor up, up, up, to look these people in the face across a backdrop of silver and blue.

I was back. My heart seemed to be forcing its way into my throat. My hands started shaking.

"What?" I whispered to myself. "Shit,_ what_?"

I was sitting outside some kind of laundromat situated in a pavilion-type area. The brightness of the sun made the metal fixatives glint at the right angle, hurting my eyes. People strolled about, half of them aimlessly wandering with their friends, the other half on some type of important errand. Those belonging to the latter group were mostly dressed in Alliance uniforms.

I stood unsteadily, still trying to get my bearings. I got a look or two, but at that point I didn't care. I was... back.

Memories of my death - memories I had replayed over and over again in the real world, wondering what I could have done differently - assaulted me then. The pain, the fear, the tear-tracks on Shepard's face... I didn't want to go through that again. Sometimes, when I was sleeping, I'd wake up thinking I'd heard a Collector in the corner.

I was okay at being shot at, but being shot really sucks.

My death had raised a whole bunch of theological questions I'd never had answered before. I was agnostic - that is, I preferred to believe there was some kind power watching over us and yes, it might just be God, but I didn't believe in what man had to say about God. While Shepard was sticking tubes or something into my chest, I'd been going over my prayers, wondering what I should say, or what I should pray about.

Had I lived a good life? Yes.

Did I want to do more with my life before I died? The answer, invariably, was yes. I didn't want to die. But the thought of showing fear in front of the woman who stared death in the eye many times a week - I couldn't do that. She was crying, but I didn't even think she realized it. I didn't want to make it worse for her.

_I'm not a soldier,_ I thought desperately. _I'm not somebody that can help anybody. I can't help her anymore._

"HK?" I asked, looking around. People continued to walk - nobody that I recognized. They had to be around her somewhere. "HK? Sarah?"

I checked the Laundromat, I checked the pavilion, I jogged down to an old war monument at the bottom of a green terraformed hill next to a memorial fountain...

Nothing. Nothing at all.

I was starting to panic. No, there was no way I could get this done without at least ONE of them. "Please, no," I mumbled to myself. "Please, please, no, not this."

Was I truly alone here? I tried to look like it wasn't a big deal, putting my hands in my pockets and strolling around, keeping a straight face. I was in the same clothes I'd worn when I was on the Normandy... albeit in better condition. Some jeans and a tank top served me well, and some boots. My hair, however...

I quickly undid it from the ponytail, noticing once again that my eyesight was perfect, as it had been before. The long locks fell down my shoulders and halfway down my back to my own satisfaction - even though I'd died with hair that had been cut by Kelly, the real-world me had kept the original strands. That gave me small comfort, but not enough to diminish the fact that I was alone.

I started by looking at all of the people - human, of course. I had to be on Earth, judging from my surroundings. I would never be able to adequately describe the buildings themselves, shining and beautiful, glimmering in the sun like a half-formed mirage. They stuck out like mountains, scraping the sky with their understated majesty. To a normal person of this day and age, it would have seemed strange to fuss over details like that. But to me, having grown up as far from the big cities as possible... it was like seeing the Citadel again for the first time, only it was more overwhelming with its' familiarity.

We seemed to be situated around some larger lake, and the city (or cities?) had been built around it in a giant circle. There were small paddle-boats out on the surface of the water, and if I looked closer I could see small venders by the shore selling rides for couples and children. There were people outside other stores washing windows, selling their merchandise, and otherwise behaving like normal, good people.

The Alliance uniforms were my first link to Shepard. If there was any safe place to be right now, if would be in her immediate vicinity. If I didn't find her, I'd be stuck when the Reapers attacked. I had to make finding her my first priority, and I knew that HK and Sarah, if they were here with me, would do the same. If we wasted our time looking for each other, we'd be Reaper-fodder soon enough, and I was NOT going to stay with Anderson to fight off the resistance.

We weren't soldiers.

I looked for the closest Alliance-affiliated person I saw. He was a thin, weedy little man that looked as though he barely fit into his dress blues. He had a darker, smooth complexion, and a tiny Hitler-esque mustache on the top of his lip. "Excuse me? Excuse me, sir!"

The man, who had been reading email on his omni tool, looked up. He didn't say "Yes ma'am?" or anything, just kind of looked at me like, _'what the hell do you want_?' I hoped he'd help me.

"Sir, I'm so sorry for bothering you," I said quickly. "I'm looking for... Kaidan Alenko," I said quickly. Better not to mention Shepard just yet. "I know he's here in the city with the Alliance, but I don't know where, and it's important that I find him."

The man shook his head. "Sorry, can't help you."

"But please," I said. "He would be in one of the larger government buildings around here, but my... my omni tool is broken. I can't get a map."

The man seemed to be catching a strange vibe from me, and I could see him mentally disengaging himself from me. Maybe he thought I was suspicious or something. "Look," he said, "if you want any information, speak with the Alliance representative at the Recruitment Center. They might be able to help you."

"Can you at least tell me where I am?" I asked. "I'm... confused."

Great, now I sounded stupid.

The guy must've thought it, too. "You're in the Promenade Commons," he said. "I'm getting a call, excuse me."

He walked away, leaving me there. I was almost close to tears, I was so frustrated. How was I going to find Shepard? I didn't even know what _date_ we'd taken down the Collectors - I knew Mass Effect 3 took place six-ish months after. If I could at least get a date from somebody... Maybe that would help me.

I rubbed my temples furiously. I felt like I was running out of time. And even if I found wherever Shepard was being kept, how would I get in? Even Miranda had admitted it would've been a challenge.

I didn't even have an omni tool. Fat load of luck that would have been, though - I couldn't even remember how to use the damn thing. Maybe I could stumble my way through an Overload if I could see the commands again... or if Garrus walked me through it again.

_WHERE AM I?_

_Okay, keep a clear head, keep a clear head, you'll find her, don't worry. _I went through a list of things in my head quickly, attempting to figure out some way that would allow me to find her quickly and effectively.

I found myself watching the children as I did this, looking at their faces as they were with their mothers. I was beginning to really hate the kids featured in the Mass Effect series... But looking at them now, seeing how carefree they looked with their parents or relatives or friends...

I couldn't just imagine everybody around me dying just then. It was impossible.

Somehow one boy in particular caught my attention. He was dressed in a dull gray sweater with black pants, and he had blue eyes and short, orange-red hair. He was looking at the other kids, and then he began to look around. As he slowly turned in a full circle to look at his surroundings, I got the impression that he was looking for someone. His mother, maybe?

Then his face turned in my direction, and his eyes locked with mine. For a moment, I felt like he was looking through me. He said nothing, and he simply stared.

He was holding a miniature ship in his hand.

The knowledge of who he was – or who he _might_ be – crashed like a wave on my skull. The calmness of his demeanor, the fact that he was alone…

I still had my own theories - was the boy the Catalyst, or did the Catalyst just take on his appearance? - but I wanted to talk to him. I walked up to him with a smile I'd used so many times before to make people comfortable. If my theory was wrong, then he'd still be able to lead me to the building Shepard was housed in. "Hey, are you looking for your parents?"

He held the little toy ship in both hands now, holding it thoughtfully against his chest. It looked like a model of the Normandy. "My parents are gone, I'm on my own right now," he told me simply. "I'm just here to look around and play."

"Where's your favorite spot to play?" I asked.

"Over there," the kid said, and then he began to sprint so quickly that I had to run to keep up with him. I felt people watching as I ran through the streets, some probably waiting for me to fall – thankfully, none of them stopped me. Then the boy seemed to vanish entirely, almost as if he'd never been there. But then I spotted him several meters away, running around in circles and playing in a small enclosed area, just below one of the larger buildings. The Alliance flag was displayed prominently in the air.

He laughed to himself, stretching his arm as far as it could go and holding the little ship high. He looked like he was having such a good time and I laughed as well, a little out of breath. On the staircases I could see armed Alliance marines with the standard-issue rifles watching us disinterestedly. And if I looked _up..._

There were multitudes of windows, most of them blocked by the glare of the sun. But if I remembered the angle of everything in the beginning of the game, tied it against that...

"So who's watching over you?" I asked, scanning the side of the building hungrily for a familiar form.

"I don't need anybody right now," the boy said, barely sparing me a glance as he continued to play. He began to make little engine noises through his lips as he moved faster. It was almost as if he didn't care whether I was there or not.

"You don't need anybody?" I asked, feigning interest. _Shepard, where the hell are you? _"Why do you say that? How old are you, sweetie?"

Now he stopped running around and turned to look at up at me. Once again, he seemed to see right through my skin with those eyes of his; it was as if those little blue orbs were piercing my soul. "It doesn't matter," he said. "You're different. You shouldn't be here. How did you get here, Abby?"

...How did he know my name?

I cocked my head a little. Goosebumps appeared on my arms and, despite the warm weather, I now felt as though a cloud had draped across the sun. "Well," I said softly, "that's the money question, isn't it?"

I looked up at one of the windows, my hands closed into fists at my side, and thought I saw movement a couple of floors above. I moved a little to fight the glare, and a familiar body seemed to be gazing out of the pane. I felt us lock eyes. The sun retreated a little, and I saw a glimpse of red hair before she quickly turned away.

Hopefully she knew it was me.

...well, hopefully that _was_ her. I didn't even know what date it was. For all I knew, the 'kid' came around and played around every day and that was just the silhouette of another lady peeking out to watch.

Feeling strangely calm, I glanced over at the boy, who was still observing me, the toy held loosely in his hand. "For some reason," I said, following on a hunch, "I feel as though this is going to be a big day. What do you think, kiddo?"

The kid gave me a very serious, speculative look. "It's a day that has been coming for a long time," he said matter-of-factly. Somehow, it gave me the impression that I was talking to someone-or something-far, far more ancient that he looked. There was just something about his eyes.

"Cool. I was tired of all this waiting, anyway."

I looked up at the figure in the window, but she'd disappeared. I had a gut feeling it was Shepard, and _Shepard_ spelled _safety._ The kid... the kid didn't. The kid symbolized everything I was afraid of - indoctrination... losing the war. That stuff. Even being around him was giving me the oogies. I was apprehensive, but I wasn't scared yet. I had a feeling the kid was only here to watch, not interfere.

"Hey! Do you have any business here, ma'am?" An Alliance marine, flanked by his buddy, trotted up to see me. "Papers?"

"I'm sorry, I was just talking to -" I looked behind me, already gesturing to the child, but he'd disappeared. The cold feeling in my chest intensified, and I thought I heard a distant growl of creaking metal in the distance. The chill disappeared. "Well, myself," I finished sheepishly. "I have a meeting with Admiral Anderson and I'm trying to get my presentation straight."

_Straight face. Be good. Just get in there._

The marine observed me suspiciously. "Care to disclose what your business is?"

"It's about Commander Shepard," I said. "She helped me out on... Eden Prime. I need to return the favor. My name is Abby – they'll know me, sir."

The soldier opened up his omni tool. "Do you have an appointment?"

"No. I didn't know how to get in contact with him, sir."

His buddy was frowning. "How old are you, kid?"

"Sixteen," I said promptly. "I'm here on my own - my parents were killed by Saren." I realized I didn't look too sad about that, so I promptly let my smile fade a little from my face. It was all about body language. Playing it safe. "Look, it's really important that I speak to the Admiral. I think I've done all the practicing I can."

"Follow us," the marine said. I gladly complied, following the two into building. We walked up to a receptionist, but instead of talking to him the marine spoke into his omni tool and said: "Patch me through to Admiral Anderson - calling in the favor, George."

He waited until he heard a click. "_Go ahead_," a deep, familiar voice said.

I almost squealed.

"There's a sixteen year old girl here for you about Commander Shepard, sir. Says her name is Abby, and that the Commander helped her out on Eden Prime."

"_Hold on_."

_Talk with Shepard, talk with Shepard, talk with Shepard god damnit..._

"_Who's this_?" It wasn't Anderson speaking now, but a voice I'd heard a million times in my dreams.

The marine held his omni tool out to me. "Hey, Commander," I said half-heartedly. "Them Reapers, huh?"

The silence stretched out longer than I was comfortable with. "_Was that you I just saw outside_?"

"Was that you I just saw in the window?"

"_We're on the way to see the Admirals_," Shepard said briskly. "_We're going to talk. You and I. Don't go anywhere and stay put_."

"_Send her to the Normandy, marine_," Anderson said. "Keep _her under guard on Deck Two until we get there_."

"Yes, sir," said the marine. "Over and out."

His buddy whistled. "I think you just shoved a firecracker up their asses," he muttered in an aside.

"Oh, well. What's your last name?" he asked me.

Well, I was already on a roll…

"Shepard," I said.

...she was going to KILL me.

"Wait, wait... are you _related _to the Commander?"

"Niece... kinda. It's complicated, so can we just get going?" I asked, bouncing on my heels in impatience.

The two marines looked confused as hell when they handed me off to another detachment. They did the customary weapons check and, satisfied, I was trotted off down a multitude of hallways that stretched deeper and deeper into the base. As I left, I saw them giving each other an odd, almost questioning glance. My heart fluttered a little in my chest. This was the day for risks, no doubt.

And the kid... that kid had just confirmed everything I'd suspected about his true nature from the very beginning. To think I'd actually been on the verge of tears when I saw him die.

I would be advocating his destruction in the future. Evil, cheeky little bastard.

My escort was silent and dutiful, leading me hurriedly through the corridors like they had something else they needed to be doing. The hallways were getting more crowded and hurried - something was going on.

We took an elevator in the very back all the way to the bottom level, which seemed to be underneath the lake itself. Very private, very secure. The walls were darker down here, and there was no natural lighting. Hazard signs were posted along the sides of the doors, whose edges were illuminated with a bright white light.

And then the last pair of doors opened, revealing an airlock I knew well. There were no windows on the sides, nor any way to see the ship from the outside, but the feeling I had as I walked over the thresh-hold was of home.

God, I had missed this place.

"I always liked the VI on this ship," I told the marines surrounding me knowingly.

"We're leaving you here," said the marines' squad leader. They all looked concerned. One of the other guys was turned away from us, talking into his omni tool. "Something's going on and we've been recalled. Stay with the pilot until the Admiral comes aboard."

"Oh, of course," I said, taking an immediate left. "I think I can handle it from here. Thank you for your help."

They left, and I took my usual seat behind Joker's chair, leaning against the spot where EDI's orb used to be. He didn't even know I was there. I was starting to giggle inwardly, and I tried to keep it locked tight. Instead, I just sighed. Loudly. "They really took this place apart," I said conversationally, looking over the pulled wires and additions on the Normandy's paneling.

"It's being 'refurbished,'" Joker said, waving a hand through the air. He didn't even bother to turn around. "If you're looking for work, ask Traynor - she'll be by the galaxy map or something."

"Joker," EDI said. "Perhaps you should turn around."

"Did I forget to say 'ma'am' again? Damn it," Joker muttered, turning his chair around. His glanced at eyelevel first and then down at me.

His face paled and his eyes seemed to widen like saucers. If I didn't think that he might not reach for that weapon underneath his chair, I might have thought it was funny.

"Your heart rate is accelerating," EDI stated.

"What? WHAT? I thought - you - what the HELL - EDI, that's not her." He stood up, balling his hands into fists. "Get security, EDI_. Now."_

"Joker, that would be a mistake," EDI said. "This… _is_ Abby. Everything about her is genetically the same."

"I can't explain what happened," I said, standing. His eyes looked at my hair, noticeably longer than it had been, and he squinted at my eyes. I folded my arms self-consciously. He searched my face hungrily, and I looked at him. He'd grown his beard out a bit, but overall he was still the same man I'd become friends with all that time ago. "I missed you," I said simply. I wouldn't give him a hug, not yet.

"Then tell me something only Abby'd know," Joker snapped, pointing a finger in my chest. "You're missing that scar, by the way. Nice try, though."

I ran my hand across my face. I no longer had the grate-shaped burn scar from Zorya. "Huh. I am, aren't I?"

"How the hell did you even _get here_?" Joker demanded.

"I just showed up today," I said. "Listen: I can't find HK or Sarah anywhere - normally we come in together. I'm _scared,_ Joker. The Reapers are about to attack and I can't find them!" I looked immediately to my left, where my brain was still telling me EDI was located, and only ended up looking like an idiot. "EDI, have you heard anything? Anything that'll help me?"

"Nothing... Abby," the AI responded. "But there are reports of a communication blackout in Europe. The fleets are mobilizing over the planet as we speak."

"There we go," I said. I looked at Joker. "It's starting. Please. Kaidan will be here soon. I'll stay... up here. I'll help. Please - let me help. Maybe the two of them found her first, before me."

Joker looked between me and the pilot's chair, seemingly torn between the two things. "Shit," he muttered, and sat back down. "The bodies weren't in the caskets. Only reason I believe you. We're _so_ talking after this. Does Shepard know?"

I took a seat on his right. "She saw me, but she was on the way to a meeting with the Admirals."

"Probably scared the hell out of her," Joker muttered. He couldn't stop looking at me. "I just - ugh_, I hate you all_."

"How you holding up, EDI?" I asked.

"As well as can be expected," EDI said. She didn't seem to doubt me in the slightest. "You know that I masqueraded as a VI for the duration of the repairs?"

"Of course," I said. "I've had some more dreams. We'll get you guys through this - hopefully."

Joker snorted. "Greeeeat, more weird stuff. Lovely."

"Jeff is just confused," EDI said placidly. "He will come around. After all, he does not have the benefit of gene recognition in his programming. Though, even I am curious as to how you managed to survive. Did Cerberus find you?"

"No - it's more along the lines of what happened last time," I said, flicking through the panels in front of me. I didn't know what I was doing, but it was nice to be using a holographic interface again. Where were HK and Sarah? "What's the situation out there?"

"Something big is coming in, fast!" Joker snapped. "Reading Reaper signatures. Oh, God..."

I leaned over his shoulder to look at the statistics. My heart dropped. "Over two hundred," I whispered in horror. And the number was growing.

The entire building shook, rocking the _Normandy_ to the right. "They have passed our defenses," EDI reported. "An orbital strike just hit the north wing and the custodial centers."

"The north wing?" Joker muttered. "Shit, isn't that where the Admirals are staying?"

"Yes. They've busted through the Alliance fleet. They are coming."

The ship suddenly began to vibrate as the rest of the systems turned on by their own accord. "Find a safe place and stay there, people," Joker snapped over the intercom. "It's about to get rough."

"_Joker!_" That voice was familiar, too, but I'd never heard it outside a TV. "_The Admirals are dead. Vega and I are on our way."_

"That's Kaidan, right?" I asked him.

Joker nodded, glancing at me again. He just couldn't stop looking at me. "Yeah. We'll stay here until they board, but we need to get airborne and out – quickly."

"We need to stay in the area," I pressed. "We need to grab Shepard."

"I _won't_ leave her," Joker said harshly. "Oh no... they're everywhere. God damn it. Figures you'd show up now."

"We're getting decimated out there!" somebody yelled. "Damn it, get us airborne!"

"Shut up, asshole. My ship, my rules."

It looked like Joker hadn't been able to gracefully conform back into the standard Alliance regs. There had to be something in there about cursing at your co-workers. Joker drummed his fingers impatiently against the side of his seat. "How long did you know about this?" he asked bitingly.

"We had an idea before we died," I replied. _Before we died… wow, that sounds weird._ We'd talked about it a lot, gone over the stuff we'd done, but... "We know some more now." _I'm sorry. I hate it._ "But I need to find the other two. What if they're out there?"

"Don't try anything that'll give us away, EDI," Joker warned. He didn't even seem to be paying attention to me right now, just watching the screen. "Here they come."

The airlock opened and two large, muscular men jogged in, only one of which was armed. "Get us out of here, Joker," Kaidan Alenko said, moving to sit down before he realized that I was in his chair. He barely registered me and gestured for me to get up. I complied, and he slid into my seat with almost no pause.

Joker twisted around in his chair. "Vega, keep an eye on her," he said, pointing to me.

"You got it." He wasn't even in armor, but he didn't look like he needed it at all. He was big, bigger than many of the men I dealt with, and he was muscular. The tattoos I could see on his skin reminded me of a marine that trained at the dojo – a bull of a man named Mike.

"Disengaging airlock," EDI said.

Joker hit the thrust and I flew backwards, right into James. I fell on to the ground – he merely stumbled. He was built like a brick wall. He helped me up and put me into one of the seats on the side, buckling me in safely. "Don't touch anything," he said sternly, and returned to the helm.

I twisted around to watch Joker and Kaidan at work while James held on to the back of Joker's chair for stability. We seemed to be flying in a long tunnel that rose up and out of the lake. The view abruptly changed from one of peace to something else entirely.

The Reapers were attacking.


	2. Chapter 2

**(Abby)**

It wasn't long before Anderson's distress message blared over the Normandy's comms. Before that, Joker had been flying interference for the smaller shuttles to get away safely, but we couldn't take down a Reaper by ourselves. Joker tried to warn the other ships to no avail. The explosion of one of the larger capitol ships in the atmosphere was bright enough to flash all the way down the middle of the hallway. We were about twelve miles from Shepard's position when the call came - that was an easy number, a piece of cake, but there were several Oculi on our tail. Joker couldn't pull a fancy maneuver and crash them into a building without casualties, nor could he turn around and shoot them head-on. The Thantix Cannons would hit the Oculi with EDI's support, but the battlefield was too hazardous to do so without potentially harming the other ships as well.

He managed to set up an ambush two minutes after the call, leading the Oculi into a group of Alliance fighters. As soon as they were otherwise engaged, Joker did a turn that would've sheared the hull off of any other similarly-sized ship and gunned it. Kaidan and James quickly changed positions and the former ran for it, presumably to give the Commander some cover fire on her way up. From my seat, I heard Joker let out a cry of victory. "Cavalry's arrived, people!" I couldn't hear the explosion beneath us, nor see it, but it was comforting to feel the ship slowing down.

"Now," EDI said.

"Opening the cargo hold," Joker said. "Keep it steady..."

I unbuckled myself from my seat and walked up to Joker's seat to peer hungrily over his shoulder. A fist seemed to be in my chest, squeezing it tight, and I was having trouble breathing with excitement. He zoomed in, splitting his attention between there and the rest of the battle, and I saw the face of a woman I never thought I'd see again. Her red hair had grown out in that six months, but that was all I could see at the moment. I watched her standing her with her assault rifle, looking more and more distressed as the conversation between her and Anderson continued. Anderson was merely a speck in the background.

I couldn't see HK or Sarah with her. My stomach dropped.

Anderson threw something. She caught it and glanced at it briefly before the speck that was him on the screen turned around and retreated back the way he came. "Wait, is he not coming with us?" Joker asked, doing a double-take. "What the hell is that garbage?"

"He's going to organize the resistance," I said, trying to control my voice. "Leave him, close the door."

"Uh... I don't know."

"_Joker, close the bay door!_" Kaidan's voice shocked both of us.

"There is a Reaper approaching," EDI said urgently. "I am sealing the door."

James got out of his seat and, without a second look at us, ran for it. I watched him disappear into the elevator, his shoulders twitching angrily like he was getting ready for a fight. "Get us out of here, Joker," I said, gripping his shoulder. He gave me this look, like he wanted to believe me but he wasn't sure if he should. "Set a course for the Prothean ruins on Mars," I ordered, and ran after James.

I must have been a sight - I wasn't in uniform and, while I wasn't exactly shorter than the people aboard, I was obviously a lot younger. I pushed past a group of people congregating at the technical readouts in the center of the CIC and waited impatiently for the elevator to come back. I was almost tempted to go through the vents again, and I would have had the elevator not suddenly opened in front of me. I boarded and punched in Deck Five, rocking back and forth on my heels until the door opened, revealing an irate Commander Shepard and James in a heated conversation.

No Sarah. No HK.

I held back an involuntary groan. Had we just left them on Earth? Had they made the trip at all? Was I dreaming, or was this reality?

The three of them broke off their conversation and just looked at me.

I ignored him and focused on Shepard. "Mars," I said simply.

"Commander!" Joker's voice shouted over the comm, taking on a tone of urgency.

"Joker?" Shepard said, seeming slightly surprised. She must not have noticed Kaidan speaking to him earlier, or his brief line when we came to the rescue. I could understand why she didn't. "That you?"

"Alive and kicking," Joker answered. He sounded a little tired already, but alert. "Got an emergency transmission from Admiral Hackett for you."

"Patch it through," Shepard ordered, punching in a few buttons on the console in front of her.

Within a few seconds, Admiral Steven Hackett's face appeared in front of the console, but the connection was barely there at all. "Shepard," he began, his voice blipping in and out. "...sustained heavy losses...force was overwhelming...no way we can defeat them conventionally."

"Anderson's already ordered me to the Citadel to talk to the Council," Shepard informed him, maintaining her composure, as always. Her ability to remain controlled in emergency situations definitely hadn't faded, but I knew that already. But even she looked... shaken.

"First I need you to...iance outpost on Mars...before we lose control of the system," Hackett said. The link with him was getting worse by the second.

The Commander saluted. "Yes, sir," she said obediently.

"We've been researching the Prothean archives with Dr. T'Soni...found a way to stop the Reapers. Only way to stop them," Hackett continued, before everything he said began to blip out. "...contact soon. Hackett out."

While we all watched, Shepard shut off the comm, and began to walk away from it. "Joker, set a course for the Mars archives."

"Mars?" Joker asked, uncertain.. "Er, right - Roger that."

"This is loco," James muttered, standing beside Kaidan as they both looked on with confusion. "Whatever," James muttered, and walked away angrily towards the spot that would become his home for the remainder of the story.

"Your armor's on the bench to the right," I said quietly. Shepard barely glanced at me and went over there, grabbing her plates. She began to dress up without taking off her original clothing, but it seemed to work. I'd never seen her do that before. Normally she wore some kind of casual outfit beneath or a black jumpsuit.

"Start talking," she said briskly.

I wasn't going to be going on this mission, I guessed. I didn't really want to, anyway. The absence of HK and Sarah was scaring me. "Cerberus is on Mars raiding the Prothean facility," I said. "You have to get past them before you can find the artifact. Liara will meet you as soon as you get in, and you'll send James back to the ship. There's a storm brewing, so communications will be iffy." I was shaking. Why was I shaking? Fight or flight was really kicking in, now. "You need to take the trams over, but you'll find those just fine. Kaidan will have a good idea, so you should go with that. Watch out for that giant turret outside the tram control station. I think it's the tram control, anyway. The Illusive Man will speak with you once you hit the Prothean artifact... but as he's speaking to you, Doctor Eva will be wiping the artifact. You'll chase her and she'll get away in a Cerberus shuttle. Luckily, James will be in our shuttle and he'll take her out. Doctor Eva, she's, uh..."

"Three minutes out, Commander, make it fast!" Joker said.

Shepard put on her helmet and grabbed weapons from the bench. I took a deep breath and continued, saying, "She's an AI, a spy robot. Liara doesn't know. But Eva's the one that circumvented security to let the troops in. The crash won't kill her, but..." Tell her, don't tell her, tell her, don't tell her... "You need to take her out."

Kaidan, already armored, was looking at me suspiciously. "And who are you, may I ask?" he asked somewhat sharply.

"I'm, uh... I'm... I'm Abby," I stammered. "I helped her out last time."

"Where's HK?" she asked curtly. "Did he make it, too?"

My eyes filled with tears. "I don't know," I whispered. "I... I think we left them on Earth, Commander."

"Them?"

"Sarah's -"

"Not to cut it short, but you need to get out right now," Joker said. "Everybody else, on to the shuttle - we need to hurry."

Shepard turned away from me and I felt dismissed. I looked up and saw that James had already gotten dressed and was opening the latch on the shuttle. "Good luck," I whispered, staring at Kaidan's feet, and I jogged back to the elevator. They were on a schedule, and all I was doing was delaying it.

"Stay in the cockpit," Shepard said. That was her goodbye.

The elevator closed, but I didn't punch in a number. I just stood there, shaking as if I had a fever. A sob escaped my throat and suddenly I was bowed over, my hands pushing into my face. The thought that I'd left HK and Sarah back on Earth was overwhelming. I knew that when we died, we would, well... But even so, dying was a horrible, horrible experience. The thought of abandoning Shepard and the others was horrible. That's exactly what I would be doing if I died. I supposed, if HK and Sarah died, I could just kill myself and go back with them. But it would be a betrayal to Shepard, who was probably going to physically assault me when she got back. And the thought of taking death so easily...

I would always be afraid of dying.

And Kaidan... I didn't tell her about Kaidan. I couldn't. Because if I did, something might happen differently. He might slip up - he might die.

But what if he didn't? What if he took that information and just reacted better because of it? No head trauma, but one dead spy-bot.

Was it worth it?

"I'm sorry," I said into the air. "I'm sorry."

Anderson would be the best bet to finding out if HK and Sarah had made it down there. I refused to believe that only I had come in - that would be completely unfair. They had to be around that area - I had come in only blocks away from that government building, after all. Maybe if I'd waited instead of going inside, they would have found me and we could've gone in together.

I had a vision of HK and Sarah reuniting at that building and not knowing that it was the building they were looking for. I pictured them walking on and on, looking for me or the little boy, trying to find Shepard, and then getting caught in the crossfire.

And it would be my fault.

I wanted to scream. To pound my hands against the door. I couldn't lose them. Not again.

I took a couple of deep, calming breaths and wiped my eyes with my shirt. I had to keep it together for their sake. I'd go back for them. I wouldn't leave them there to die.

The elevator brought me back up to Two... and I walked into what looked like a standoff. A group of the new crew members were gathered in the hallway leading up to Joker's chair, and through the gap in the people I could see Joker standing in a tense, get-away-from-me stance. We were in orbit around Mars now - I could see the red planet through the screen, and if the circumstances hadn't been so pressing I would've been blown away at the beauty of it.

_I've gotten this close to Mars. Crazy._

Joker had his voice raised, explaining why, exactly, they were here. "Look, it's Hackett's orders," he said. "If you have a problem with that," he pointed at the airlock, "there's the door. But Shepard knows what she's doing. We wouldn't be _leaving_ if we weren't going to come _back_."

One of the men stepped up and stood next to Joker. "I've worked with her before," he said calmingly. "I have family back on Earth and I'm just as unhappy as you are. But we need to be a unit here. We'll come back and kick their ass."

"Get back to your posts, people," Joker said. "It's going to work."

"So we're going to the Citadel, then?" somebody asked.

"Right after we're done here," Joker said. "I promise - it's going to be okay." He looked at me. "It _is_ going to be okay, right?"

No. "Yes."

"And who are you?" a woman asked.

"I'm... uh... I help out with stuff."

I thought Joker would step to my defense, but he didn't. He still looked uncomfortable around me. I wondered if he'd been sad when I died. And what did he say before about empty caskets?

"Abby was assigned to the Normandy as Mister Moreau's co-pilot," EDI said. "The orders were forwarded to my databases from Admiral Hackett."

_So I'm now Shepard's niece with permission from the most militarily powerful human in the galaxy to co-pilot the most advanced warship in the Alliance Navy? Sure, why not... _I pushed my way to the front of the crowd and took my seat next to him. "That's right," I said. _Oh my God_. "Now are we going to sit here discussing this stuff or can we actually get our jobs done, people?"

"You heard the lady, go do something productive," Adams said. I turned around to look at the holographic interface and heard the sound of many people walking away. I took a deep, steadying breath.

_Oh my God_. "Thanks, EDI," I whispered.

Joker slid back into his seat with a groan. "If you touch _anything_," he said darkly, "I'll space you myself."

I swallowed. "Got it."

* * *

><p><strong>(Sarah)<strong>

Have you ever had one of those days where it feels like it's just going to be lousy… only to discover it was merely the tip of the iceberg? That's exactly the kind of day I was having.

First of all, I'd had a bad morning. Just little things mostly, like I dropped or knocked over nearly everything I touched or tried to pick up. Then my feisty gerbil bit me on the finger, just enough to break the skin a little, and then I cut my hand on a pair of scissors when I was trying to work on one of my craft projects.

This gave me the impression that I was going to have a bad day at work, too. The strange thing was… I never got there. I'd literally just walked out the front door of my home to begin my walk to work when I found myself standing in the middle of a very, very different setting. Instead of seeing the smaller, gray house across the road, or the driveway surrounded by grass on both sides, or the large tree at the corner of the driveway… well, I saw what seemed to be the complete opposite.

It was as if I'd stepped through a portal into Narnia or something… only this wasn't Narnia. I didn't see any hint of greenery or… anything, really. It was just endless gray rock and dark-colored soil in all directions. The sky was star-filled and the area was dark, as if it was nighttime.

And then when I looked up, I could see an enormous planet looking above in the sky. And still… I wasn't quite sure where I was. At least, it took my stunned brain a few moments to process where I'd ended up… and convince myself that I wasn't dreaming.

I was back in the Mass Effect universe… that had to be it. Where else could I be, and how else could I simply end up in an unexplained place for absolutely no reason? I gingerly touched my throat, feeling the area where the spider husk has attacked me the last time throbbing. The skin felt a little different there… I assumed I had some kind of mark or scar. Otherwise, it didn't really bother me much.

It was a miracle, plain and simple. I had died here, and yet now I was back… apparently because my true life-force still existed back home, or something like that. I still didn't understand it myself.

Emotions surged through my chest as I sank down onto a nearby rock. I took a moment to breathe deeply in and out a few times, attempting to sort out the whirlwind of thoughts and feeling. On the one hand, this was the very last place I wanted to be. I didn't want to return here! Let HK and Abby come back if they wanted to; I was done with this insane universe. Who wanted to be back here, right smack-dab in the middle of a Reaper invasion?

Yet at the same time… I felt an odd confidence in the fact that if I died again… (man that sounded so weird) I would just return to the source of my life-force. I would just go home.

That didn't mean I was going to do anything stupid, crazy, or suicidal… I had no desire to get myself killed over nothing, and I didn't want to do anything dumb to get myself confined to a brig or a single deck on a space ship again. Still… I guess that meant I didn't have to fear dying, at least. I had a luxury that nobody got normally; a chance to live again, and to do things better this time. I had a feeling that whatever force was behind this didn't want me to squander it.

"Abby?" I said out loud, looking around. "HK?" Wait a minute… the last time we popped up into this universe, it was over a stupid chain-email and we'd popped up in the Normandy's cargo hold. Why was I here, and where were they?

I tentatively called out their names a couple more times, looking around in every direction as I did so. Finally I got desperate and literally screamed their names at the top of my lungs. "ABBY! HK! WHERE ARE YOU?"

Okay, I was starting to feel really scared now.

I glanced up toward the looming planet overhead-and then I noticed the growing orange spots. The areas that were like orange-red fire, beginning to consume some areas of the planet. This was it-the Reapers were attacking. That planet had to be Palaven, the turian home world… which meant that I was on the moon somewhere.

And here I was, dressed in nothing but a pair of purple sweat pants, a black shirt, and a pair of white shoes. Well, at least I was wearing a bra this time.

An explosion sounded somewhere nearby, and I began to hear the harsh, dull roars of husks. I then did what any self-respecting civilian with no military training did; I began to run like a scared rabbit in what I hoped was the opposite direction. I ended up stumbling and falling flat on my face a couple of times as I went, but I managed to pick myself up and keep on going.

Okay, I didn't have any military training worth squat… and what little Shepard, Garrus and Jacob had managed to drill into my brain wasn't much, either. But even I knew that I needed to keep moving and keep silent. Screaming for HK and Abby at this point wasn't going to help me or them. If nothing else… I just needed to find the turians. I knew they had to be here, somewhere. If HK and Abby were here, they'd just have to fend for themselves like I was, and they'd probably be heading for the same general destination.

Unfortunately, a trio of human-husks found me first. They spotted me as I neared a small rock formation, and they emerged from behind it. I gave a little scream as they bellowed and charged right at me. I ran as quickly as I could, trying to keep from stumbling on the rocks.

However, I did end up tripping in the end. And as I fell face-first in the soil and began to scramble along the ground, desperate to find my balance, I couldn't help but wonder if this was it. Had I come all this way, returning from a death and a deadly husk bite just to get torn apart by _more_ husks? I knew I would just go home again if they got me, but somehow this just didn't seem fair.

Shots were fired all of a sudden, the sound exploding through the dusky air as husk flesh was ripped into behind me by powerful gunfire. I yelped and went limp against the ground, putting my hands over my head. I was trying to make myself as little a target as possible.

Then all was silent, until I heard footsteps approaching. "Hey," a feminine voice above me said, and I felt what seemed to be a metallic boot giving me a tentative poke in the side. "You alright?"

I guessed that meant that I looked different enough from a husk as not to be shot on sight. I moved my arms off of my head and slowly sat up, getting off my belly and getting my face out of the dirt. I had to wipe grit out of my eyes and spit a gross mix of salvia mixed with dirt from my mouth, but then I looked up.

It was a female turian, dressed in light armor and wielding a powerful rifle. Her skin was very light gray, almost to the point of being white; I wondered if she might have been an albino… if there were any turian albinos. She definitely wasn't anyone I knew. She had no facial markings to speak of.

I didn't care about anything much right now. My heart was thudding in my chest. I hadn't realized how scared I was.

The turian opened her mouth to speak-it sounded like she was asking me a question. Maybe she wanted to know who I was, or how I'd gotten there. I couldn't quite hear her. The only thing I knew was that it felt like everything was fading away.

And that's when I fainted.

* * *

><p>When I awoke, I found myself at what appeared to be a turian camp. I was lying flat on my back on a cot that seemed a bit too hard for human comfort, and the pillow under my head was only slightly better. I already knew that I was going to feel stiff when I got up from here. I glanced around and quickly realized I was in one of the small compounds; it had only a couple of complete walls, but it was built something like a trailer and at least there was a roof over my head.<p>

"Easy, now," a turian said to me. I looked to see him sitting next to me; I had to assume that he was perhaps a medic. "You're in our camp; one of our scouts found you."

"Yeah… okay," I replied numbly. I vaguely remembered being attacked by husks, rescued, and then passing out afterwards. Apparently I was a typical damsel in distress who had to be rescued. Too bad it was some female turian rather than Garrus in shining armor…

Garrus. Ah, he had to be around here somewhere, right?

"Were you alone out there, or were there others with you?" he asked me.

I gave my head a slight shake. "I don't think there was anyone with me." Then again, what if HK and Abby were out there somewhere? Last time we'd all popped up together on the Normandy. I couldn't be sure if they were on this world as well, or somewhere else. "I'm not sure where my friends are," I whispered, still feeling dazed.

"When was the last time you saw them?" the turian asked. "Did you arrive here together?"

"Uh… I don't know where they are," I said.

"Are they still on the moon?"

"I don't know if they are here or not." I looked at him hopefully. "Have you found any other humans out there? A boy or a girl, both a little younger than me?"

"I haven't seen any other humans brought here," the turian said, and then he frowned. "Why are you here? How did you arrive?"

"I… don't remember," I fibbed. Sometimes it was better to just play stupid, or pretend I had a memory problem. After all, Abby wasn't here to fill in the gaps with better explanations; I'd just make things worse if I tried being creative.

"Do you have a head injury? I saw no evidence of one when I examined you," the turian said. "Although… I must admit that I don't have much experience with humans."

"I don't know, my head kind of hurts."

The turian sighed slightly, and gave a little nod. "Just take it easy," he said. "And we'll see if we can get you some proper help… as soon as possible." The hesitation told me that "as soon as possible" might mean a good long time from now. Especially since… you know, the Reapers were attacking.

"What is your name?" the turian asked me.

"Sarah."

"Last name?"

Come to think of it… I'd never told anyone in this universe my last name. I don't think HK or Abby did, either. But did anyone really need to know it? The less information the better; that was the rule when it came to some info. Besides… I didn't legally exist in this universe anyway. "Sinclair," I fibbed. I went by "Bonnie Sinclair" on Deviant art, below the username "troutylips", so why not?

"Alright, Miss Sinclair," the turian said, "just stay right here and I'll be back in a minute." The medic then left, maybe to go report to his superior officer, or to check on other patients, or maybe to go take a piss in a chamber pot for all I knew. I really did not care. I wanted to go home. I didn't want to be here.

The stakes were higher now than ever. I wasn't stupid. I really was going to die this time… or worse. I'd already been turned into a husk, and HK and Abby had been captured before. We had all the answers, and I guess we were sent here to help make sure Shepard and her crew did everything right, but… if people knew that we knew the future, that we had the key to getting the best outcome, everyone was going to want us. People might try to capture us, or they might try to bribe us, or some people might even try to assassinate us. This was a very, very desperate time for everyone.

Still… I knew that I was luckier than most. I had died, and I had come back, because all I did was go back home to my own universe when I died. I'd do the same again once my time here was done. Maybe the reason I'd died was to give me a better perspective on things… I don't know. Still… I suppose I should just thank God and my lucky stars that I would have another crack at life after this. That wasn't something that most people could say…

I gritted my teeth and stood up, feeling my determination drive me forward. Okay, okay, relax… yeah I'm save for the moment, don't need to have a panic attack. The husks won't overrun the camp for a while. I left the little compound and looked around, trying to get someone's attention.

A nearby soldier spotted me, and approached me. "You should get back to your compound," he told me in a quiet tone. "This isn't the time for a civilian to be wandering around a military camp."

"What makes you think I'm a civilian?" I asked.

"You weren't wearing any armor when you were found, and you had no weapons to speak of. It didn't take a genius to figure it out. I don't know why you're here or how you got here, but you should remain in one place so that we know where you are. One of our superior officers will have some questions for you when he gets here."

"I'm here on official business," I fibbed, hoping that I wasn't getting too big for my britches. Then again, if I was truly Sarah the Psychic, here on behalf of whatever force wanted me here to help keep things on the right path… maybe I was here on official business in a way. "I was very lucky to get through at all; I need to speak to Garrus Vakarian. "

The soldier blinked. "Vakarian is speaking with Lieutenant Victus at the moment," he said. "They are both discussing the Reaper situation."

"That's what I'm here to talk to him about, I have important information on the Reapers!" I exclaimed. "I know how to stop them, I know why they're here, and… and… I just need to talk to him!" I hoped I didn't sound like a babbling idiot. I just knew that if Garrus could come and see me, he would recognize me right off.

The turian seemed to be debating whether or not I was telling the truth, or if I was simply desperate or maybe a little loony. Finally he gave a slight nod. "Well," he said, "I don't know how else you could have gotten here unless you knew what you were doing. You must not have come here alone… did you lose the rest of your team?"

"I'm separated from my team," I answered bleakly. "I don't know where they are. But they'll find me, don't worry." They have to.

"Very well… wait in the compound, and I will see if I can bring Vakarian here." He seemed to buy my story for the moment. I suppose I had one factor on my side; Garrus was the "Reaper expert" here, so I guess it would make sense that a secret agent with Reaper knowledge would seek out the Reaper advisor, right?

I quietly returned to the little compound and sat down on the makeshift bed. I rested my chin in my hands and waited as patiently as I could, trying to prepare what I was going to say and freshen my mind to the facts. I wasn't as good as this as Abby was, but… I could try to make sense, at least.

I must have drifted off after a while, or at least looked as if I had, because I spaced out and the next thing I knew someone was tapping my shoulder. I glanced up to see the same turian soldier looking down at me. "Vakarian is here to see you," he said, and then I looked up to see Garrus staring down at me.

Garrus looked a little worse for the wear; his armor was battered and almost cracked in places, plus he had a sweet scent that I recognized as turian sweat. But the main thing that I noticed was the look of absolute shock on his face; his eyes were as wide as they could go and his mouth hung open, revealing a row of sharp teeth. I could swear that even his trademark visor shimmered slightly in response to his shock and surprise.

Why did I suddenly feel like I was already in trouble? I hadn't even done anything… yet.

"Sarah?" Garrus's voice cracked over my name, as though he was almost too stunned to speak. "Sarah-no, this is not possible." He shook his head. "You're dead. We saw you die on the vid-cams and I saw your body."

"Sir?" the turian soldier said, his eyes darting between me and Vakarian. He seemed quite puzzled all of a sudden, not that I could blame him.

"Garrus," I said, pushing myself off the cot and into a standing position, "it's me, trust me."

"You were turned into a husk," Garrus said, never taking his eyes off me. He was already holding his rifle when he approached me, no doubt because a war was on and self-defense was required. And he didn't exactly point it at me, but I did see his hands tense and his grip on the weapon intensified. "How do you explain being here now?"

"I can't," I answered lamely. "I'm back and I'm going to help you beat the Reapers. That's all I can say." I looked straight into his eyes as I said this, and I held his eyes with my own. I was trying to communicate my sincerity.

His mandibles twitched. "Well," he finally said, "Collectors killed Shepard… and she came back just fine in the end. I suppose that seeing you return isn't a far stretch when you think of that. But how can I be certain you're not indoctrinated, Sarah? How can I know it's really you?"

"I'm me," I answered stiffly. "And I think that Reapers are scum who need to be wiped out." I stamped my foot on the ground for emphasis… for whatever good that gesture did. "You'll never see me working for them."

"Alright," Garrus said tentatively.

"Do you trust her?" the turian soldier asked.

"Hmm." Okay that wasn't exactly a yes, but it wasn't a no either. "I'm just trying to make absolutely certain," Garrus said after a moment. "Seeing her arrive at the same time as the husks is a little suspicious." He then turned back to me. "Sarah, I need to know for certain that it's you. Can you give me proof?"

"Look at her throat," the soldier said suddenly, pointing a single talon at me. "That's got to be the worst scar I've ever seen on a human."

"Yes… I noticed that." Garrus stepped toward me with almost a bit more cautious than he'd ever approached me before. "Sarah, look up for me," he requested. "Let me see that injury."

"I think Rytok mentioned something about that," the solider said.

"Rytok?" I asked as I leaned back a little and lifted my chin, allowing Garrus to peer at my neck. I wasn't exactly sure what he was looking at, but I had a pretty good idea.

"The medic who examined you," the solider supplied.

"That's where the husk spider attacked you," Garrus said. "Looks pretty well healed now, except for the enormous scar."

In spite of myself I grinned. "Now we have something in common!" I said.

He didn't laugh, but he did smile slightly. "I guess we do." He looked as though he wanted to say something more, but then he turned and looked at the solider. "Jarlok, could you excuse us for a few minutes?"

The other turian nodded. "Certainly, sir."

After Jarlok left, Garrus turned back to me. "I need a full explanation," he said. "And I need answers."

I sank back down onto the cot. "Okay," I said.

"First off, how did you survive?"

"Survive?"

"Yeah, and how did you get back to normal?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean, Sarah. Our security vids on the Normandy recorded you dying and Chakwas confirmed it. Kasumi was there when you died, and then when the Collectors took the crew, your body got up as a newly formed husk and took HK. How do you explain that?"

I shook my head slightly. "I can't."

"You can't, or you won't?"

"I really can't."

Garrus sighed. "Alright, we'll leave that alone for now," he said reluctantly. I wasn't sure if he just wanted to move onto more important matters, or if he simply didn't want to stand around playing twenty questions with me. I knew that I could be… cryptic at times. Call it a bad habit, or a hobby.

"Do you have information on the Reapers? And… are HK and Abby alive as well?" He sounded very, very hopeful.

"HK and Abby are alive, I just don't know where they are. And yes, I have information on the Reapers," I informed him.

"Finally, a straight answer," Garrus commented. He sat down on the edge of the cot next to me, holding his rifle in his lap. Thankfully it was pointed in the opposite direction from me; that was a good sign. "I need to know something right now," he said. "Are we going to win this war? Will my people survive?"

"There's going to be a lot of death and destruction no matter what," I said.

His dark eyes narrowed fractionally. "Tell me something I don't already know, Sarah."

I inhaled, taking a moment to formulate my response before saying anything. I knew that I needed to be very, very careful here. "It depends on how much you prepare, and how well you prepare. Shepard will help you."

"Shepard?" Garrus looked intrigued. "I knew she would get involved with this. Is she on her way?"

"I'm not sure yet. I think she might be out of custody by now… maybe even off Earth and on her way from the Citadel. I just know that she needs to finish talking to the Council first."

"Then you know how to defeat the Reapers?"

I swallowed and looked away. "Yes," I said. I couldn't afford to say anything, or risk changing anything, especially not before talking to HK and Abby. Wherever the hell they were.

"Then tell me." Something about Garrus's tone made me flinch. It sounded like he was giving me an order, one that was laced with pain and desperation. Then again, could I really blame him? His home was burning, and his father and sister were in danger.

I really could not look at him right now. Hell, I loved him. The selfish part of me began to feel angry that he was putting me on the spot like this. I just couldn't give him what he wanted-what he _needed_. At least not yet.

When I said nothing, Garrus did something that surprised the daylights out of me. I heard a motion like he had jumped up from the cot, and then I felt myself being grabbed and pulled off of the cot and he forced me to look at him. He wasn't being rough, but he did have a firm grip on my un-armored shoulders, and he looked straight into my face.

"I don't have time for your games, Sarah," he said tersely. "This time around you can't sit on your ass and give information whenever you feel like it, and Abby and HK aren't here. Billions of lives are at stake, including my own people. If you know how to stop this madness, you need to tell me now."

My eyes widened into saucers. I'd never seen Garrus act like this before-well, maybe around Harkin, and thankfully he wasn't being that aggressive around me-but he'd never done demanded information out of me before.

_The Citadel_, I desperately wanted to blurt out. _The thing responsible for all of this is somewhere in the Citadel._ How aggravating it was, to know that the answer was right under everyone's damn noses. But nobody knew it, and it was nothing that anyone could guess.

I tried to shrug my way out of his grasp. "I'm sorry, I can't," I said, turning my face away.

"What the hell do you mean you can't?" Garrus's hands moved away from my shoulders, but he did grab my arm as if afraid I might try to slip away. "Sarah," he practically pleaded, holding me in place by one arm. I had to look at him then, and the look on his face…

His world was burning, his home. How could I say no to him, especially since he was the best turian ever?

Before either of us could say anything else, I was spared this awkward confrontation by the most unwelcome bell; husks were attacking the camp. Shouting could be heard and shots were being fired. I could even hear the dull roar of husk battle cries.

"Vakarian!" someone shouted.

Garrus practically snarled. "Come on," he said abruptly, raising his rifle with his free hand. I suddenly found myself being pulled along with him as if my arm had become a leash. Apparently he wasn't going to let me out of his sight-and I knew he wasn't going to forget his line of questioning, either.

"They're overrunning the camp!" someone yelled. I stayed close to Garrus-not that I had much choice-as he fired off a few shots at some husks and cannibals that got too close to us.

"I'm gonna die!" I cried out.

"Everyone," Garrus said into his commlink, "we need to withdraw to our other camp. If we stay here we're going to get our asses handed to us-we have a better chance there. Let's move!"

My brain barely had any time to register the fact that this wasn't the main camp. We then began to move so quickly that I was nearly yanked off my feet. I felt as though my arm was going to be yanked out of its socket.

Gunfire was erupting all around me as the turians tried to fight off the invading husks, but it was of no use. They were overrunning the place fast. I watched nervously as Garrus fired a few shots into an approaching cannibal. "You chose a prime time to show up, Sarah," Garrus commented as we continued to run.

I tried to force my legs to move faster as he continued to pull me along. How he managed to keep a firm grip on my arm and aim his gun at the same time I had no idea. Then again... I was the one who couldn't even hold a gun or fire it well with both hands.

"Just don't let me die!" I blurted out. I tried to keep my eyes on his armor so that I wouldn't look at the carnage around me or get distracted. Then again, what was I complaining about? I'd just go home if I died again... but I just didn't want to die to husks again.

"I'll try my best," Garrus said. It seemed that his mood had changed slightly; he'd been shocked and slightly frustrated, but now, it seemed that he was almost entirely in some kind of battle mode. Then again, that shouldn't be surprising, considering how many times he's already had to do that

I could tell that we were reaching the exit for this camp; many of the turian soldiers were charging out in that direction, firing wildly at the oncoming husks. Garrus and I were caught right in the midst of the action. He ran out, with me in tow, and fired quickly, taking several husks down. He led me over to some cover and crouched down, waiting for another chance to strike.

We were out of the camp, but not out of the woods, it seemed. Turians surrounded me, firing at the Reaper forces.

"Could you at least give me some tips on a quicker way to kill these things?" Garrus asked. He almost sounded sarcastic, but he seemed serious.

Before I could say anything, the fighting grew intense once again. This time I could see turian husks accompanying the cannibals and human husks. And one of them threw a grenade in our direction.

The turians were already spreading out behind more rocks in order to get more ground to strike from, and Garrus's head was turned away from me because he was aiming at a turian husk. So he did not see the grenade tossed toward us... and he didn't even see me absent-mindedly catch it in my free hand.

I stared at it for a moment, almost stupidly, as it began to beep and heat up. At my sudden shriek Garrus looked at me sharply, just in time for him to see me throw it. It just happened to land between two cannibals that were almost too close, blowing them up rather spectacularly.

I slumped down against the ground, shaking a little. I could feel my heart thudding in my chest. "Guess that's one way," I whispered timidly.

"Been practicing in your time away?" Garrus asked. Again, he sounded slightly humorous, yet almost like he would've been impressed were the circumstances different. "But...thanks. Two less for us to kill."

The onslaught against the husks continued, and we continued to press our way throughout the moon. We encountered a lot of husks, determined to stop us, but the turians managed to continue on. I saw a lot of turians die along the way, but finally, we managed to reach the other camp.

Garrus seemed to give a small breath of relief as we all walked inside the next camp. Many soldiers tried to come and speak to him, but he motioned them away.

Looking at me, he said, "No time to waste. Now, where were we?"

I tried to step back a little, huffing and puffing in spite of myself. "Could we sit down somewhere?" I panted. "And... could you... let go of my arm please?"

"Yes," he replied, obliging and letting go of my arm. "Let's go over here. It's somewhere a little more private. I still need answers."

He led me towards a small area that seemed to be for the soldiers to take a small moment and restock, as much as they could; right now, it was becoming more and more empty as the soldiers that had just arrived got back to work. Garrus motioned for me to sit down on one of the rocks, and he took a seat on the other.

"Now, I need those answers."

I slumped on the rock, my shoulders lowering and I leaned forward, staring down at the ground. I took several deep breaths, in and out, to regain control of my breathing and slow my rapid heartbeat. "What answers?" I finally asked blandly, stalling for time. And hoping I didn't make him lose his temper with me.

"Sarah..."

I squeezed my eyes shut. "Well... you wanna know something about the future, umm..." I searched my mind for minor, harmless facts. "Liara meets her daddy," I supplied uselessly.

Garrus sighed. "At least that shows that we'll be living a little bit longer," he said. "Listen, Sarah, you gave me information on Sidonis that I might not have found out otherwise...and that wasn't half the situation that this is. My entire planet is going to burn and my entire species is going to die if you don't tell me what you know."

"But I haven't had a chance to confer with HK or Abby yet," I protested. "I'm not sure what they would want me to tell you... I mean... we need to figure out what is safe to tell." I wasn't sure if I could make Garrus understand, but... if I gave out too much information too soon, there was no telling how badly things could turn out. Especially if the Intel fell into the wrong hands.

"How do you even know that they're alive? You are aware that they died, right?" Garrus quizzed curiously.

"Oh they're alive, I talked to them before I... came here. I guess you could say we came back to life, and we went home for a while. But now we're back," I told him.

"Did the attack on Earth force you to come back?" Garrus asked.

"I just kind of... ended up here," I answered cryptically. "It doesn't matter how I got here or why I came. Right now I'm just thankful to be alive."

Garrus sighed. He was silent for a moment, rubbing his temples. All of this had obviously taken its toll on him. "Alright, Sarah. Is there anything you can tell me? Anything at all?"

"Shepard will be coming... hopefully soon," I said. "Um... also the current Primarch is going to-" I stopped.

Was it really a good idea to say that the Primarch was going to die an hour before Shepard arrived? Maybe Victus was meant to be Primarch; I could easily tamper what is meant to be if I said something wrong now. I bit my lower lip to prevent more words from pouring out.

"What was that about the Primarch?" Garrus asked, suddenly becoming more alert, as if he wasn't before.

"Please stop asking me these questions now." I turned away from him sharply and stood, trying to suppress my feelings. Why did I feel really sad all of a sudden? I couldn't afford to let this war, or the things about to happen, depress me.

Gosh... I was going to let somebody die when he could be saved. I really was a monster.

Again, Garrus was silent. "I know all of this isn't exactly pleasant to watch...if I look up into space right now, I see the Reapers harvesting my home. And I don't know what the hell happened to you, how you came back, but I know this is...difficult. Are you alright?" he asked.

"I'll be fine," I said simply, turning back to face him. "I died once, so I really don't care what happens to me this time around. Just..." I looked away again. "If you see the Primarch..." My voice trembled. "Tell him I'm very sorry."

"I want to ask for more, but it's probably of no use," Garrus conceded. "And for the record, I'm not sure what to think of this right now, but you should care what happens to you. Your death affected a lot of people, including me."

I turned to look at him. "Really?" I said, feeling touched. "I mean... I know I drove you and the rest of the crew kind of crazy sometimes."

"Sarah, there were times that you did, I admit, but we all mishandle things, and I probably mishandled some things at that time, as well. But your death was a sad thing, no matter what. I... truly believe that you are a good person. Despite all that is going on, it is slightly nice to see you back, but unfortunately, a lot of that is clouded right now by everything else. Now I'm just hoping I'm not hallucinating."

"Thanks, Garrus," I said sincerely, sitting down on the rock again. I sighed heavily. "I can't tell you how to stop the Reapers... yet," I said, "but... I will give you an important piece of information." I knew I really shouldn't be doing this; I could be screwing everything up for all I knew. But I felt like I needed to give something to the turian people to help them out, since I was with-holding information.

"Yes?" he said, looking extremely interested.

I closed my eyes. _I'm sorry, HK, Abby,_ I thought to myself. "The Primarch is going to die," I said quietly. "I don't know when... all that I know is that it is an hour before Shepard comes."

Garrus' eyes went wide again, for a moment, before he attempted to collect himself. "I...that wasn't out of the question, but...I need to warn the others about this," he remarked.

"Yeah, you should do that," I said with a nod, still not really looking at him. "And don't worry, as long as Shepard moves quickly enough... your father and sister will be okay. If she gets the krogan to help."

"The krog-wait, I have bigger things to attend to. I need to tell the general about this," Garrus said, standing up. "I don't want to leave you alone, though. For your sake, and I really, really don't want you getting into trouble. The Normandy is one thing, this is another."

Garrus turned and looked out into the camp, where the turians continued to run around, trying desperately to combat the Reapers. He looked at the officer that was closest by. "Lokam! I have a special job for you."

The turian came forward at a quick pace. "Yes, sir?" he asked.

"I need you to watch this woman, Sarah. She's...a friend that happened to end up here, and I have some urgent news to deliver to the general. Make sure that she stays safe and out of trouble," Garrus said; despite everything, he was still very calm and ready to deal with anything.

"Sir, how did a human end up-"

"There's no time. I need to get to the general," Garrus interrupted.

The turian soldier nodded, and saluted. "Yes, sir!"

Garrus looked back at me. "Sarah, this is Irren Lokam. He'll watch over you while I'm gone."

Did they really need to make it sound like I needed a babysitter? "I'm not gonna wander off or raid the weapons supplies or anything," I said, voicing my indignity.

"Don't argue." He looked back at this Irren. "Don't...let her touch any weapons. She's not trained properly; she's more of a civilian."

"Sir, the way you are talking about this woman makes her sound dangerous," Irren said, staring at me with partial confusion.

"She's not dangerous; actually, she's a fairly good person. I don't have time to explain it now...we all have our moments. Hers can just generally consist of suddenly pointing a gun at you or taking exposing photos."

I felt my cheeks heating up as Irren's expression became all the more puzzled. "Oh gosh... don't tell me you found the one Kasumi took of you while you had your pants down..."

Did I really just say that out loud?

"Um, sir..." Irren began, looking more baffled and lost.

"Yeah...we'll go over that later," Garrus said, brushing that topic aside. "Right now, I just need to get to the general. Sarah, stay with Irren; Irren, keep your eye on her."

And with that, Garrus left.

* * *

><p><strong>(Abby)<strong>

"...and then they asked me for my last name. So I'm like, 'It's Shepard.' They're like 'whoa, no way, are you related?' So I said I was her niece... kind of. They bought it. I think Shepard's file is so classified that they didn't even bother checking the records. Having somebody like Anderson on your side really speeds up processing, heh."

Joker wasn't really paying attention to me - or he was trying to look like he wasn't paying attention to me, at any rate. He was frowning over readouts from Earth, but he occasionally asked a pointed question that let me know that he was paying attention. Maybe a little too much attention.

"And now," I continued, trying to lighten up the tension, "I'm not only Shepard's blood relative, but I'm also your sixteen year old co-pilot."

"No, you're not," he said flatly. "We're telling the crew after Shepard gets back. We're not keeping you a secret."

I hunched over a little voluntarily. He'd been nothing but acid to me for the entire thirty minutes we'd been up here. "I'm sorry," I said. "I'm trying. I just... I don't know. I'm sorry."

I didn't ask Joker what he thought I was. He had to be confused. I would be, in his place. Shepard was one thing, but I'd been dead for a while. And to suddenly pop up on the Normandy, unannounced, like this... He wasn't the only one freaking out. But Earth, as beautiful as it was, wasn't truly my home. I felt horrible about it, but it would never match the depth or the intensity of pain that every crew member aboard had to be feeling right now.

Every human in the galaxy...

"Joker... you said there weren't bodies in the caskets," I said slowly. No answer. "What did you mean?"

It was EDI who answered. "When the Alliance crew took possession of the ship, they opened your caskets to take a DNA analysis test. There were no bodies within them. My records did not indicate any tampering. I was... puzzled."

I frowned. My body had disappeared? How did that happen?

"And now you might be a Reaper minion coming to blow our brains out," Joker said scathingly. "Hoo-effing-ray. Just because you're back doesn't mean I'm going to trust you. You know, you might win Shepard over, but I'm watching you. Touch anything and I'll kick you off this ship faster than you can say 'Reapers.'"

I looked down, hurt. That was... proper, I supposed. I should have expected that. But how could I get him to trust me again? How could I get anybody to trust me again?

"Uh oh," he muttered. "Reapers in the area - oh, great, they're migrating over. Where's Shepard? EDI?"

"Scans indicate the shuttle is approaching, Jeff. I am opening the bay doors."

We watched the shuttle dock, and as soon as the doors were closed we were off. I couldn't tell which signals were the Reapers, but I supposed it really didn't matter. I doubted I would be up here again anytime soon. "Kaidan's hit," I said, standing up. "I'm going to run down and help."

I had to wait for the elevator to be available, as Shepard and the others were already on it. I waited for three agonizing minutes before it appeared. I took it down to Three and jogged into the MedBay... and right into Shepard, who pushed me roughly out of the way and went right back into the elevator I'd just gotten out of. I dithered on the spot for a moment, then peeked into the Med Bay. James and Liara were looking after Kaidan - it turned my stomach. They were putting a shunt in his skull.

I wouldn't be able to stay for that one. I backed out and followed Shepard up to the CIC, passing through the security check easily since I had no weapons or metal bits on me. Mordin's old lab had been refurbished into a conference room, and I took a quick step through the door and into the War Room. It was even more impressive than in the game. Some people looked up at me curiously, but I kept walking. Slowly, as stealthily as I could manage, I took a few steps up to Shepard's communication room. Sensing me, she turned and waved me away angrily. I backed up, holding my hands in the air as a sign of submission. I decided to wait until she was done.

I sat down on the stairs and waited for her to finish. Liara entered a few minutes later, limping badly but still retaining composure. She paused and looked at me, blinking quickly. "Oh. This is a shock."

I nodded, standing to shake her hand. "Hi, Liara."

"The Commander told me that you and your two friends were killed," Liara said. "How did you survive?"

"We didn't," I explained. "We were sent back to help you. I don't know where the other two are, though, and that's what I'm hoping to find out."

"You will have to explain that to me later," Liara said. "But if you will excuse me... I believe the Commander is finished."

Shepard appeared at the top of the stairs, looking like the epitome of tired. I bit my lip and observed the two of them for a moment. "I'll just... be in the lounge," I said lamely, and backed out, my ears turning red.

I left them there, crossing my arms against my chest.

This hadn't exactly been the most ideal way I'd been hoping to come back to the Normandy. I had a feeling I would be alone in the Lounge for a long time.

I was right.


	3. Chapter 3

**(HK)**

It was a very nice day in Oklahoma; particularly nice for this time of the year. I was in the parking lot of my Church, heading for the door, as I did on every Wednesday night; almost a year and a half ago, I discovered a youth group that I came to really, really like. I made a lot of new friends there, and it helped me grow a lot. I was definitely a religious person, and the Church had helped me learn a lot, and I was still learning.

It would definitely be a fun night; it always was. I had to wonder who all would be showing up. I could generally always count on Carlye, Suzie, and that crew being here. Maybe the PCO crowd would show up, too. And probably a lot of the other people that were loyal most of the time.

As I continued on towards the door, suddenly, everything changed; it was all so fast, I wasn't even sure what happened. It wasn't like I blinked, or like there was some huge flash...but my surroundings were very, very different. I wasn't in front of my Church.

I looked around me, seeing the bustle of everyone go by, whether on foot or in their speeder. I recognized this pl-

Wait, their _speeder_?

It all hit me like a ton of bricks, and my eyes went wide. That was why I recognized where I was; I'd seen it before. I'd...been here before, although it was in a different area.

I was on the Citadel, in the Mass Effect universe.

While people of all different species continued to pass me by, I felt myself begin to panic. Why was I back here again? I...died, as crazy as that sounded. All of a sudden, the images of my death filled my head. The entire ground squad above me, saying goodbye. I said my final prayers to God in the middle of that Collector base. That ugly base.

And then...after that, I was back in my real life. The life that I knew a lot better than life here. The life with my family, my friends; the life where Mass Effect, Mass Effect 2, and Mass Effect 3 were just games. I thought that I'd had a crazy, long dream, but then, I talked to Sarah and Abby, and they remembered everything, too. They knew exactly what I was talking about. Sarah had popped up at her home shortly after she had some kind of...struggle with Harbinger, not long after she died. That had explained why her husk form suddenly spazzed out. Abby had apparently died on board the Normandy, after the base was destroyed; she heard the baby Reaper talking to her. She got hit in the final fight.

But then...we were back to our own lives. It was like we never left; we always felt that our lives had gone on. And apparently, they had.

Now...why was I here? What the heck was going on? It was hard enough to make sense of going between two worlds, but being "dead" in one yet coming back?

"Abby," I said, almost expecting her to be there beside me. "Sarah."

I looked around. They weren't anywhere to be seen. The last time, we all popped up together on the Normandy, in the exact same room. If I wasn't having some wild dream, if we were really back...then they'd be here. Somewhere.

"Abby!" I called out, over the loud crowd. "Sarah!"

No response.

This was crazy! Abby and Sarah had to be here, I _knew_ they had to be. I began to make my way through the crowd, looking hungrily for them. "Sarah!" I yelled, raising my voice. "Abby!"

This couldn't be happening. Was I really here alone? Were Sarah and Abby back, too? Or were they back in...real life?

Why was I even back here, anyway? We made a wish last time; it was all because of that chain mail and the wish. I didn't wish to be back here this time! Admittedly, while playing Mass Effect 3, the experience was...different. I'd been there, and seen it all first hand; it was strange to have it in game form again. I constantly thought about how we'd interact with the next Normandy crew, how we'd help Shepard, but that didn't mean that I'd made a wish upon a chain mail.

Finally, after scanning the general vicinity for Abby and/or Sarah, I stopped and leaned against a wall, trying to calm down. Okay, I had to relax; I'd find them. First of all, I had to figure out what...time it was, ME-time. Had the Reapers invaded? Did I come in during Mass Effect 3? Was it after ME2, but before ME3?

I took a deep breath. "It'll all be fine," I told myself. "Just gotta...come up with a plan."

Before I figured out what time it was, I needed to figure out where exactly on the Citadel I was. Hopefully, it was somewhere that I recognized, and not some area that was never in the games. The Citadel was huge, and we hadn't seen all of it, not by far.

Finally, I looked around, trying to take in my surroundings. It didn't take long to figure out where I was: the Presidium Commons. I was standing in the huge corridor that you walk through right before you go down into places like the shops, Meridian Place, and Apollo's Cafe.

_Good. An area I know well._

Now...oh, who was I kidding? What was I even doing? I'm here all alone, and I don't even know what to do! I felt panic starting to creep up again. Why was I here? I should be at Church, not on the Citadel, not back here. Not that I didn't love the people I came to know, but...I didn't know how I could handle this!

Saying a short prayer for strength in my head, I exhaled. "Okay, get a grip," I told myself. "There's gotta be some way I can figure out what is going on. I need to know what the time period is."

How could I do that? My brain was too scrambled to really think straight; I tried going through a few options, none that made sense. However, suddenly, an idea came to me as I glanced around: Avina. She was just over there. She could provide some information for me; probably not much, but it was a start. It was all I could do.

"I can't believe this. This shouldn't be happening...this is so stupid, why am I even doing this? I can't just...come back and jump right back into this like nothing happened," I told myself as I headed for Avina. "What choice do I have, though?"

I reached Avina, and began talking. "Uh, hi, Avina. I need some information."

"Welcome back to the Citadel; I am sorry to inform you that your name and information is not in our system. Do you need to submit to immigration processing? I can direct you to their offices," the holographic asari began. I'd never bothered to speak to her on my last trip to the Citadel.

"No...uh, well, maybe I'll do that later. I dunno," I replied nervously, then swallowed. "I've been here before."

"Yes. Scans show that you were on the Citadel approximately one year and two months ago. Welcome back," Avina said, in her usual robotic tone.

One year and two months? Dang. ME3 occurred six months after the Alpha Relay incident...I think, and Thane made some comment about talking to a doctor nine months ago, but a lot of time had passed even between the time that we were at the Citadel and our...deaths.

"Avina, I need some information," I repeated, now that the greetings were over.

"Please present your question and I will try to be of assistance."

I thought for a moment. I was not good with dates in this universe at all, so it probably wouldn't be best to ask for the date.

Well, it _was_ Avina, so maybe I could get by with being really, really blunt. "Avina, is there an intergalatic war occurring at the moment?" I asked, trying to sound...professional. As professional as I could, given the circumstances.

"Yes. Information remains uncertain, but a war has broken out as a race of sentient machines, the Reapers, have attacked multiple Council worlds within the past two to three hours. The human homeworld of Earth and the turian homeworld of Palaven have fallen under heavy attack," Avina explained. "Recent news reports also indicate that the batarian homeworld of Khar'shan, a non-Council world, has fallen under attack as well. I cannot provide any more details at this time."

I gaped. "But you're saying that Earth was attacked within the past few hours?" I asked. That meant that I was right at the beginning of the game's events. Which, in turn, meant that the Reaper war had only just begun.

"Yes. An exact time estimate is not available at this time," Avina answered.

I stood there for a moment and took all of this in. So, similar to last time, we...or I were here right at the beginning. Oh goodness, what could I do now? I didn't even know if I should just hop right back into the swing of things and find Shepard, though, why else would I be here? Maybe, though...I just didn't know.

I was tempted to go off and look for Shepard, and more specifically, find Abby and Sarah. Regardless of whether or not I needed to get to Shepard, finding Abby and Sarah was a must for me. I couldn't leave them hanging out there.

"Thanks, Avina," I said, starting to walk away.

"Please speak with me again if you require further assistance," I heard her say.

So many thoughts were swarming through my head. Where were Abby and Sarah? Was Shepard here yet? How long would it take her to get here? Minutes? Hours? Days? What should I do now?

I sighed. Whatever the case, maybe my best bet was to find Shepard. She was really...all that I had, aside from Abby and Sarah. If I found Shepard, then, well, everything else could go from there. Maybe she'd found Abby and Sarah. Or maybe she hadn't and she was about to see a ghost.

That was thinking too far ahead, though. Right now, I just needed to find her. I thought back to the events in the game; more 'visions,' woohoo. Shepard arrived on the Citadel, and she'd have an injured Kaidan with her. He'd be rushed to the hospital, and she would either go see him or go to the Council.

Once again, I tried to relax, collecting my thoughts. If I knew Shepard, she'd check in on Kaidan at the hospital sometime...

...well, maybe. He did sort of ream her through the coals on Horizon, and she'd moved on...

...but that didn't matter. She'd visit him, I'd just know it. And, if I had to guess, it'd be a lot easier to be at the hospital than it would be to be with the Council. Although I could always go to the human embassy.

There were too many variables. Too many choices.

_Okay, for now, I'll head to the hospital. Maybe ask if Kaidan is a patient. That'll help me figure out as to whether Shepard's here yet or not. Then I'll go from there. One step at a time, one step at a time._

I walked over to the elevator, almost feeling a little unsteady from all my unease. Being back here was settling in a little better, minute by minute, but it was still baffling. And confusing. I needed time to get my bearings. I needed to sit down somewhere. Maybe I'd get a minute at the hospital.

Boarding the elevator, along with several others, I looked over the controls; it was a little more complicated than in the game, and far more advanced than any elevator I'd ridden where I came from. However, after some fiddling, I managed to set one of the destinations to Huerta Memorial Hospital.

The whole ride, I just listened to the people beside me talk; they discussed the war and how shocking it was, how they had no clue what was going on, they thought that Sovereign was geth technology, the usual. They discussed the loved ones that they knew that were fighting; one human wanted to enlist in the Alliance. However, it was almost as if this went in one ear and out the other; I processed it, but I was in such a daze.

Why was I here? How...was I here? How is this even possible?

After our last...journey, after we returned, I had questioned a lot. I always had a firm belief in the Christian God, in Jesus Christ; I still did. Not even something like this could stop that belief, although that belief had gone through...a lot of changes, and a lot of uncertainty, over my short life. And I believed that God always had a plan, but in times like this...you never heard of anything like this. People don't just go into a game. And this wasn't even a game; somehow, it was real.

Maybe. Maybe I was just hallucinating. I'd thought about it a lot, probably deeper than I ever had when I was actually here and on the Normandy. That was ironic. I'd considered a lot when I was on board the Normandy, but...not like I had now. Maybe I'd just become so focused, after all was said and done, I finally had a chance to think about it again.

_Dear Lord, if this is part of your plan...then please, get me through it. And help Abby and Sarah, wherever they are._

The elevator came to a stop, and then another, and another; after several, I was one of the last on the elevator, and the door opened to reveal Huerta Memorial Hospital. I always liked the addition of a hospital to the Citadel. It made sense. I walked out and into the front entryway, where many people surrounded me. The room was fairly...calm, a lot more than the commons were. I needed calm right now.

I walked over to the receptionist desk, and looked at one of the human secretaries. "Excuse me, ma'am," I said, trying to sound a little more controlled than I did with Avina. "Is a man named Kaidan Alenko currently a patient here?"

The woman checked her console briefly. "No, sir, there is no one by that name currently admitted to the hospital. There are a few hospitals down in the Wards that you could check," she suggested.

"That's alright," I said, having what I needed to know. I smiled politely, although it was hard to, considering the circumstances. "Thank you. Have a good day."

I walked over to a small area by the window, where a couple of chairs were. I looked out at the large station before me: Even at a time like this, it was really beautiful. If I wasn't so...freaked out, I may have said that it was kind of nice to be here again.

So, what should I be doing? Just...wait until Shepard arrives? I wasn't in the mood to go on some epic adventure at the moment. I didn't really have a place in the hospital, either; not like I could sit around and-

"HK!" A familiar voice interrupted, and I was snapped out of my thoughts; I nearly jumped several feet at hearing my name exclaimed like that. "Oh my...HK...no, this can't be!"

"Dr. Chakwas?" I asked, recognizing the voice. I turned around to see the ever-faithful doctor standing there, looking...very pale and stunned. She stumbled backwards.

I...briefly forgot that she showed up here. This could be good, or bad.

"This must be a hallucination; the Collectors...they must be haunting me. Everything Chambers talked about..." she stammered, continuing to look at me in horror.

Immediately, I realized that she thought she was experiencing some...left over stress from the Collector base, or something, kind of like Kelly had. "No, no, doctor, it's me! This isn't a hallucination. I'm here, right in front of you," I assured her, trying to be calm myself. It was hard, but I didn't want Doctor Chakwas having a heart attack.

"You died on the Collector base!" Chakwas proclaimed. "The squad... they watched you die. You sacrificed yourself so that Mordin could live... how am I supposed to be useful to this effort at all if I am still haunted by that base?"

"Shepard died, and they brought her back!" I said, not sure what to even say.

"A once in a lifetime experience," Chakwas snapped. "Wait, no, I shouldn't talk to...it. I can't embrace this. The war...I suppose perhaps it is bringing up my own experiences with all of this."

Dr. Michel rushed over to Chakwas's side, having overheard the commotion. I wasn't surprised; both Chakwas and myself were beginning to seem pretty panicked. "Dr. Chakwas, are you alright?" she asked in a calm tone. "What is going on here?"

Chakwas rubbed her temples. "I'm sorry...I believe I am just suffering from some latent post traumatic stress disorder. Just an inkling, that's all. I'll be fine. There are people in worse shape right now that need our help."

"Dr. Michel," I said quickly, trying to do...anything that I could to make Chakwas realize that I was actually here. "Can you see me?"

"Have we met?" Dr. Michel asked with confusion. "I do not seem to remember introducing myself to you before."

Suddenly, Dr. Chakwas stopped, and looked at me again. "Wait, are you saying that you can see him too?" sh said. She stared at me for a moment. "It's...true, then? You're here? You're alive?"

I breathed a sigh of relief. It was progress, at least. "Yes, Doctor, its me."

"Did they bring you back, too? Is this Cerberus?" Chakwas asked curiously, still sounding very, very hesitant.

I shook my head. "No, believe me, this is...beyond Cerberus. I really don't have an explanation...I just know that I'm here, and it's good to see a familiar face."

"You died during the mission," Chakwas stated. "You were dead; there was no way you survived. The last time I saw you, the Collectors were dragging you away, they separated you from us, and...what was left of Sarah interrogated you. Now you're here."

Dr. Michel looked extremely confused. "Care to explain what is going on here?" she asked, looking to Chakwas.

"Dr. Michel, this is HK. He...served with me on my last mission under Commander Shepard. We believed him to be dead, but evidently, he isn't," Chakwas explained, still very hesitant.

"I see," Dr. Michel simply stated. "How do you know who I am?"

"A long story," I said. If Dr. Michel came onto the Normandy, then maybe I'd explain, but I had a feeling that wasn't going to happen.

And I wasn't even sure if I was going to the Normandy at this point.

"Are Abby and Sarah back, as well?" Dr. Chakwas inquired curiously. "Though I could not see how. Abby died in my own medical bay, and Sarah was...mutated by the end of her life."

"I don't know," I said sincerely. "That's what I really, really need to find out. And I need to find Commander Shepard. She...should be coming here soon."

"Ah, so you still seem to know things that others don't," Chakwas acknowledged. "I...must excuse myself. I need some time to collect myself, and regardless of who you are, or what you are, I have work to do."

Both doctors began to walk away, and I really didn't want them to leave; it was nice to have someone I knew. "Dr. Chakwas, please-"

She didn't respond, so I didn't bother to finish. She may not even believe me; she could think I was a Cerberus clone or something. She just needed some time, I supposed. I sighed, already feeling exhausted. My variety of emotions and anxiety levels had taken its toll on me.

Within the next few minutes, the entrance doors flew open, and I saw several people rush a man on a bed inside; I managed to see his face, and I could already tell that it was Kaidan. He looked horrible. I winced at the thought of what happened to him; that was really a scary scene.

"She's here," I murmured as they took Kaidan into the back of the hospital, and they all disappeared. I didn't know whether I should wait here for Shepard, or go out and try to find her myself. It seemed almost safer to wait here.

How would Shepard react to my return? I'd been thinking like if I got to her, everything would be okay, but it may not be. She may think I'm a fake, too, and shoot me on the spot. Okay, I highly doubted she'd be that extreme, but I never knew. She could end up completely shocked once she saw me.

Whatever the case, I had to take my chances, I decided. I could sit here and debate for hours, or I could just do it. The latter was probably the best option.

_Shepard is all I have to turn to,_ I thought again.

And likely the best bet I had of finding Abby and Sarah, if they were even here. They had to be; I didn't know how I could even go through this without them. Things had been weird enough without Sarah after she died.

Finally, figuring it was now or never, I stood up and headed towards the elevator to find Shepard. I didn't know when or if she'd come to see Kaidan, so I was better just looking for her myself, for now. She only went a few places on her first visit to the Citadel, so she shouldn't have been hard to find.

It didn't take long. The doors opened to reveal a tall, slender, wiry figure with a familiar shock of red hair. She was alone, dressed in her fatigues, and despite the circles under her eyes she looked ready for action. She did that familiar scan of the room before walking out, sizing up people as a threat whether she meant to or not.

I never thought I'd see her again. Clumsy recollections couldn't adequately represent her – maybe it was my own knowledge of her inner being that did it, but the room seemed to revolve around her. Even without armor, she looked formidable. Worried about Kaidan, she looked downright deadly.

And then she looked at me. A connection seemed to form between us for one moment as we both registered the other. There was no expression on her face – she was good at hiding that – but I felt a chill of fear in my heart despite my relief. We stared at each other for the longest moment, and then she walked over. "Are you alone?" she asked simply.

Never before had I been filled with such a strong mix of joy and dread. I was glad to see her, but at the same time, very, very worried. She was still intimidating, no doubt about that. "Yes," I replied, choosing not to say more at the moment.

Shepard just exhaled loudly and shook her head, looking out the window. "I don't know what to do with you," she said. "Or what to think. I was accepting before, but I can't deal with this again. Is Sarah with you?"

Her reaction was almost puzzling, but better than what I expected. "No...I haven't seen her or Abby anywhere. I don't even know if they're here, but it's really good to see you, Commander," I said, trying to stay calm. "I...don't know what's going on, either. I don't know why I'm here, or how, and I know this is a hard time for you. I need your help, please. You are literally all that I have. I don't know how I'm alive, but... heck, I don't even know what else to say, Commander."

"Kaidan's hurt," she said, glancing towards the door. "Tell me why Abby didn't say it would happen."

"Abby's here? She's with you?" I asked, stunned. Thank goodness...at least she was safe. Then, scrambling to recover from that good news, I focused on Shepard's last statement. "I...I don't know, Commander, although it would've been...big if she'd told you, I think. Kaidan getting hurt...it would've been good to avoid, but it also would have altered a lot of events."

And here I was again, already going on with the psychic stuff. How could I, or we, do this all over again?

She shook her head. "No, I've had enough of that. You won't be playing that game this time. I have a soldier with traumatic brain injury in there, and if he doesn't make it out it'll be on your head. _Both_ of you."

Oh yes, she certainly still was intimidating. I could understand why, though. The woman was at the head of the biggest war this galaxy had seen up to this point. I gulped. "He'll make it," I told her. I felt like I was caving in, but what could be so bad about that? "He should, anyway. He'll recover in time, and they'll make him a Spectre. I'm...very sorry, Commander," I muttered softly.

Shepard pursed her lips. "You know, I thought you had it all figured out. I'd finally accepted that you were dead, and now you're back. You're here. And I don't know if I can take that as it is or not. How do I know I can trust you?"

I nodded. "I understand...it's not like this is easy for me, either, I don't have an answer. All I can ask is that you take our word for it...though, then again, maybe that's not enough this time. Maybe it shouldn't be. Follow your instincts, Commander. I...don't even know what to say, I guess I'm just rambling. You've been dead, Shepard. And then you came back. You're one of the few that could even possibly understand."

"I just want to dump Abby off with you here on the Citadel so I can stop thinking about it," Shepard replied. "But I can't do that, can I? You two enjoy making things complicated."

"Technically, you probably could and you'd be fine...but I wouldn't recommend that, not only for my own sake. I think we're here for a reason, Commander," I speculated. I really, really didn't know how to get her to see that we were still trustworthy. All I could do was be honest. "And yes, we do bring our own...flare to things. Would you rather that we be dead, Shepard? Honestly, tell me."

The Commander sighed softly and moved a short distance away, placing her hand on the glass of a nearby window. She seemed to be looking outside, although at the same time she simply seemed lost in thought. I got the impression that she was still trying to wrap her mind around all of this – and not just us. She'd lost Earth in a manner of hours and abandoned her mentor to the Reapers, and to top it all off the man she loved was in danger. She didn't look like she was breaking – more like she was about to break _others._

"No, but you picked a hell of a time to come back," Shepard finally said with forced restraint. She still didn't look at me, and it made me wonder if she was trying to compose herself, at least a little. "You three helped us against the Collectors, and then you died. Now you're back, just after the Reapers arrived on our front doorstep."

I sighed, too. We really did have great timing, didn't we? "We're there when you need us, I guess. Listen, Commander, I can't really explain it," I said, trying to calm my nerves so that I could talk concisely and clearly. "I remember dying, so I don't know how, or why, we're here. I have a lot of questions, too. I know you don't know what to think, and I know it's hard to put faith in us again, and we really don't have any right to ask you to do that, but Abby and I do have good intentions. I think I can speak for her."

Now she turned to look at me. "I'm still not sure what to think of all this," she finally said. Then she took a step closer and lowered her voice marginally, as if she'd had some time to gather her thoughts and was ready to confide something to me.

"I guess in a way we have something in common," she said with a slight shrug. "The man I love is in intensive care right now, and if he makes it out okay... I already know I will still need to convince him that I _am_ me."

Her eyes narrowed fractionally, and she seemed to look me over as if trying to see if anything was "off" about me, or out of place. "I saw you, Abby, and Sarah die. None of us were sure what happened when your bodies went missing from the caskets, but we assumed they were stolen or misplaced. But not even EDI had an answer for what happened.

"I can rationalize what happened to me," she went on, "because my body was spaced and Cerberus managed to get their hands on it... on _me_. But Sarah's body was transformed into a husk and destroyed along with the Collector base. And like I said, your body-along with Abby's-were put into caskets... and somehow smuggled off the Normandy without anybody noticing. I wonder how that happened."

She folded her arms. "Are you seriously going to tell me that Sarah is somehow still alive? And how exactly did all of this happen?" Her face relaxed ever so slightly, as though she'd simply needed a chance to air her feelings and speak her thoughts aloud. She was stressed.

Maybe it was Kaidan? Last I heard, she and Jacob had gotten together, but well...she'd been back on Earth, and the thing with Jacob wasn't gonna go so well later on, so maybe what happened to Kaidan had brought out some of those buried feelings. Then again, that was her business; I didn't need to think about Shepard's love life right now.

"I can't rationalize it, either...and I know Sarah's situation was a bit different, but I honestly expect her to be here somewhere, especially now that I know Abby is back," I said. I was still worried for Sarah. She was a big girl and had grown up a lot...in fact, I was quite proud of her, but would she be able to handle all this on her own? Would any of us have been able to? The thought of being here without Abby and Sarah was terrifying. "I really can't explain anything, and I don't have the answers you need about our survival. Maybe it was God, or something, I don't know. All I do know is that we're here, I'm here, and you are all we have to turn to...but I know this is hard for you."

Shepard looked as though she wanted to say something, but then she was approached by Dr. Michel. "Pardon me, Commander," she said, "but I wanted to inform you that Kaiden is in surgery. The procedure may take up to several hours, and the doctors are unsure yet if he will survive."

The Commander cast me a side-long glance, and then she turned back to Dr. Michel. "What is your prognosis?" she asked in a carefully neutral tone.

"Right now, it could go either way," Dr. Michel said, biting her lip. The Doctor's presence seemed to calm the Commander somewhat. "Your friend is in bad shape."

"I understand." Shepard glanced at me out of the corner of her eye.

Apparently Dr. Michel caught it as well. "And who is this?" she asked. "He seemed to cause quite a stir earlier, and Dr. Chakwas seemed terribly upset."

And here I thought that it was Sarah who caused most of the trouble... but these were unusual circumstances.

Shepard sighed. "A big headache," she remarked. I wasn't sure if she was trying to make a small joke or not. "When will Kaidan be out of surgery?" She seemed to forget she'd already asked that question.

"Like I said, a few hours," Dr. Michel supplied patiently. "Unless you wish to wait in here, I'd recommend that you attend to any errands you need to run, because there is nothing you can do here. I will call you once he is out of surgery, and you may see him then."

Shepard nodded. "Here's my information," she said, bringing up her omni-tool. "Thank you." And then she placed a hand on my shoulder and began to forcibly lead me toward the elevator.

Once we were inside, she let go of me and touched her communicator. "James," she said, "Meet me at D24. I ran into somebody here on the Citadel and I need you to bring him back to the ship before I head up to the Presidum."

So I was being sent back to the ship... which was probably for the best. At least I would be able to see Abby and see the Normandy for myself again… unless Abby was with James. That sounded like something that she would do.

I didn't hear the reply because I didn't have a communicator, but Shepard seemed satisfied with the answer. She then turned back to me. "You're going to stay on the ship for now," she said. "I'm not having another incident on our hands like last time."

"Does this mean you're going to meet with the Council now?" I asked.

She gave a slight nod. Then her eyes turned to look at me again, and once again I got the feeling like she was accusing of me of something-or possibly accusing all three of us "psychics" of something.

"What happened down there could have been prevented," she said stiffly. "If Abby had told me everything she knew, we could have been better prepared and Kaidan wouldn't be in the hospital right now. From now on, I need both of you to supply _all _of your intel because I refuse to lose anyone else, and I refuse to let the Reapers win. Is that clear?" Her expression and her tone suggested that she wasn't going to accept any disagreement or argument on that statement. "That includes where you come from. I mean it."

* * *

><p><strong>(Sarah)<strong>

I stared off in the direction that Garrus had gone for some time. I wasn't really sure what to do, or what I wanted to do. I just knew that I didn't want to be here of all places. So I simply sat there on my rock, eyeing the scenery for a little while, and watching some of the turians going about their business.

"It seems that you and Vakarian have a colorful past," Irren eventually said, breaking the silence.

I rolled my eyes. "You don't wanna know," I muttered. "Hey," I said suddenly, trying to brighten the mood, "have you ever seen Bruno?"

"No, but whatever that is, I'm sure it's a lot better than seeing this," he commented, looking up into space where the Reapers were relentlessly attacking Palaven. He seemed slightly thoughtful. "How do you deal with this?"

I stood from my makeshift rock chair, brushing some dirt off of my pants. My shoes had holes in their soles now; they'd probably need to be replaced after this.

...Why did that make me think of Traynor's stupid tooth brush with the tiny mass effect fields?

"Don't worry, it'll be okay," I said. "The krogans are gonna help you take the pressure off of Palaven, as long as Shepard can get them to do it." That made me wonder... did Shepard tell Mordin to keep Maelon's data during that mission? I really couldn't remember. I only remembered that she let Mordin kill Maelon.

"How do you know that? We haven't had the best of luck with the krogans, although their help would be much appreciated," Irren said, looking at me. "For all we know, Palaven could be gone by tomorrow. I don't know if even Commander Shepard can stop something like this."

"If you doubt my word, just ask Garrus," I said. "The Reapers will be stopped."

"How do you know that? We haven't had the best of luck with the krogan, although their help would be much appreciated," Irren said, looking at me. "For all we know, Palaven could be gone by the end of the week. Sooner, if they get reinforcements. I don't know if even Commander Shepard can stop something like this."

"If you doubt my word, just ask Garrus," I said. "The Reapers will be stopped."

"I hope so...I really do," Irren said, looking down for a moment, as if negative about the whole thing. It was understandable. He looked up again. "Speaking of Vakarian, how do you know him, anyways? I don't know Garrus really well, but it's not normal that he talks like that about someone."

"It's a very long story," I said. "Let's just say... I served on the same ship with him, when he served under Commander Shepard. I have... information about the Reapers. I'm sure that's part of why he wants someone to keep an eye on me." I laughed in spite of myself as I added, "Or maybe he just wants to make sure I don't spark any fights amongst the people here or... I don't know, walk in on someone in a restroom or something." I looked at him thoughtfully. "I really was a pain in the ass on Shepard's ship," I confided.

Irren chuckled. "He talks a lot about those times with Shepard; he really respects her. Uses it to brag a lot, too. He got to serve with Commander Shepard, and he even made some comment about how one of the crew members fell head over heel for him and his scars. Said it proved that the scars were a good addition to his face."

I blinked several times. Was that a weird reference to me? Really?

"Well uh... it's nice to see those scars are healing up," I said, coughing a little. "I bet it... makes his face feel less sore."

"He's a good soldier, though. He's been through a lot, and he still manages to survive," Irren commented. "I'll bet it runs in our blood."

"Yeah, all of you turians seem pretty tough," I said with a nod. Then something about that phrase struck me. I looked at him. "Wait a minute, are you part of his family?" I asked. If that were the case, I'd be far more intrigued to be around this guy.

Irren coughed. "Kind of; not closely related. We're some kind of distant cousins, so it's not like we've been around each other a whole lot, and our DNA isn't exactly the same, but still, the genes are there. I'm proud to be able to say that I am related to him in some form."

"Wow," I said, feeling a little more intrigued to be around him now. "I think that's great. I mean, you both have the same kind of skin color-but you're a bit darker. Hey, how come you don't have any facial markings?" I was babbling on, and I hoped that he didn't mind the way I was scrutinizing his face like a piece of art.

"Well, we're separated by several generations, and we both have a lot of different heritages, too, so it's not like I'm going to look just like him," Irren answered with a shrug. "Different colonies."

"But how come you don't have any facial markings? I thought those were important to turians," I pressed.

"I'm a bareface, and I don't care," Irren said with a shrug. "I'm not a part of any special colony, and that's mainly what it's for now anyway. It makes negotiations a bit more difficult - some turians still have a stigma against barefaces. Saren didn't help much with it, either."

"Oh yeah?" I asked. Part of me knew I was edging my way into the territory of being a pest. But hey, I'd never talked to anyone from Garrus's family before... even if they weren't closely related. I couldn't talk to his sister or dad right now, so this would do for now. I simply considered myself a lucky duckling right now.

"That's really all there is to say."

I drooped a little where I sat. "Ah, okay," I said, disappointed but taking the hint. "I won't ask you anything else." I shifted my position to look off in the distance, toward the nearest barricade-which was about twenty meters away. It was manned by several turian guards, and it looked like they had a large turret up there as well. I began to wonder when Shepard would get here... then again, it might be days before that happened.

Irren was silent, simply standing with me and looking around at the rest of the camp, briefly glancing up to the battle above us. Neither of us said anything.

We pretty much stayed silent for some time. He shifted his position and moved around a little, not quite pacing but not staying in one place either. I simply sat there on the rock, occasionally drumming my fingers against the rock. I also picked my nose a little once, when I was sure he wasn't looking.

What? Nervous habit. Very nervous habit.

Then, after a while... I began to hear a strange humming noise. It was high-pitched, like... I could just barely hear it. I frowned, and I began to feel a strange sensation in myself... almost like a memory. Or a feeling. It was like having a word on the tip of your tongue, but unable to remember it no matter how hard you tried.

It felt like something was... what, calling to me? I'm not sure if that was quite right. No... it almost felt like... I could sort of understand the husks outside the camp. Maybe not understand them... but I could feel their presence. Were they calling to me? Or were they just... could I just feel them somehow?

I don't know... I had been a husk once, apparently after I died... but that body had been destroyed. I vaguely remember still being connected to it, even when I returned fully to my true home outside of the Mass Effect universe. I'd fought Harbinger for control, and destroyed it... then it blew up along with the Collector base.

All of that crap was gone from me now, except for the scar-the only evidence that I had been attacked by Reaper tech. But... was there still something inside of me? Had Harbinger touched me somehow, or left something in me, when he and I battled for my body? I wasn't even sure how I could have maintained a link to that body... unless I wasn't truly gone from it.

I groaned softly and brought my legs up to my chest, slouching my shoulders. This was starting to make me nervous.

Irren glanced over at me, noticing my uncomfortable demeanor. "Are you alright?" he inquired.

"I hear them," I whispered softly. "And I can feel them... almost like bugs crawling around inside my skin." I shuddered. Bugs... like a certain husk spider... ugh.

"Hear who? The Reapers?" Irren asked, growing alarmed.

"No... well sorta," I said. "It's those husks. It's almost like I can understand them." They couldn't speak, and they weren't communicating, at least not on a level of consciousness. But... well, maybe it was sorta like being a Grey Warden or something in Dragon Age. You drink some Darkspawn blood, choke on it and pass out, as Alistair had said. Maybe in this case... I had been bitten, killed, and fought for my freedom from Harbinger's claws.

Was it possible to be a husk Grey Warden? Okay, that just sounded so corny, and so wrong.

"Uh, I'm not really skilled in this area...husks and Reapers are new to me, but all I hear from any husk is some warped scream. From what Garrus has told our forces, they're totally deprived of any sort of mind or understanding. They're slaves," Irren told me. He still seemed confused. "How can you hear them?"

"I don't know." I grimaced, and slowly pushed myself off of my rock and began to wander aimlessly toward one of the barricades. I moved slowly, almost trance-like, transfixed on something that I couldn't exactly hear clearly.

I kept going. "I'm not wandering... much," I mumbled, barely paying attention to what I was saying. I felt something calling to me... not in a possessive way, but in kind of a summoning way. Or a "I want to talk to you" kind of way. I still had complete control of my thoughts and my motor abilities... at least I hoped I did.

I stopped near the wall, about ten meters from the nearest barricade door. I heard a high-pitched hum again, and what sounded like husks... inside my head. It wasn't something that I could put into words. It was like... the husks had a violent nature, but they were... satisfied in their own way, and they only wanted to continue their attack. Yet they didn't think on a level of cognetic recognition.

Then I started to hear something else, inside my mind. It was... like a voice, trying to form words, yet it seemed too far away to be heard well. But it was getting louder, and stronger, and almost coherent...

"What is going on here?" I heard Garrus say near me. I didn't even see him approach.

"Sir!" Irren's voice said, sounding urgent. "Your friend, Sarah, was fine for a while, but she's suddenly started acting very strange."

"Strange how?" Garrus asked.

"I don't know, I can barely understand what she's saying, but all of a sudden, she looked very...uh, uncomfortable. And she started talking about how she could hear the husks."

"What?" Garrus sounded even more confused. "How can she-"

"No," Irren interjected. "She's hearing them inside of her head."

"That...can _only_ be bad," Garrus said, sounding far more alarmed than before, though he also sounded calm. "Is she still herself?"

"I wouldn't know, but I think so," Irren answered. "Do you have any idea what is going on?"

"No, but I'm going to find out," Garrus said, and then, I heard footsteps, and next thing I knew, Garrus was right in front of me. "Sarah! Sarah! Are you alright?"

I grimaced. "There's no need to shout in my face," I complained, putting my fingers against my temples. "I've got enough screaming going on inside my head right now."

"Do you have any clue what's going on?" Garrus asked, in a slightly lower tone. "You were a husk on the Collector base...do you think that factors into whatever this is?"

"I'm not a husk now... I'm back to normal," I told him firmly. "But... I remember that Harbinger had a connection to me for a time-he controlled me, I mean, but... I broke free."

I grimaced, and then my eyes flew wide as my headache suddenly got worse, and the whispers got louder inside my mind. "Oh my gosh... I can hear them! They're trying to get into my thoughts-they want to know about the future!" I gasped sharply as pain lanced through my nerves and muscles, and I staggered a bit. I groaned, burying my face into my hands as I slumped against the nearby wall.

"The Reapers? You have to fight them, Sarah! You can't let them get to you like this; you say you broke free once. Try your best to do it again," Garrus encouraged, crouching down to my level. He sighed. "Shepard's a lot better at this than I am."

"I can't shut them out!" I shrieked. "Do something! ANYTHING!" I pleaded, feeling horrified as the terrible things going on inside me intensified.

The next thing I felt was a fist slamming into my face, and everything was thrown into a tailspin after that hard blow to the head. "Don't hold that against me," I heard Garrus say.

It took me a moment to regain my senses, as well as my balance and my ability to talk-and think-coherently. "Oooowwww," I complained loudly, rubbing the side of my head. "That..."

I blinked. "Hey, the Reapers are gone," I exclaimed. "Gone from my head, at least." I frowned. "But why would that be? Ow, ow, ow..."

"Pain breaks the connection?" Irren suggested.

"I'm not sure...I've seen indoctrinated people, and it's not a pleasant sight, but I think this was different. At least slightly," Garrus speculated. "Are you alright, Sarah?"

I looked at him. "I'll be okay I guess," I said. "I don't hear them anymore. But I DO have one question for you, Vakarian." Wow, I'd never called him that before.

Even Garrus seemed slightly taken off guard by what I called him. "Yes?"

"Did you HAVE to hit me with the butt of your rifle?" I rubbed my head again, scrunching my face up. "That really, really _hurt_."

"I needed something to snap you out of that; it would have been very grim, and almost insulting, if you had come back just to quickly become indoctrinated," Garrus remarked.

"I'm not gonna be indoctrinated," I told him. "I mean... I'm not sure what's going on, but I feel like whatever happened to me before made me immune to it. Ow... ow... anyway... um... I just feel like it somehow gives the Reapers more easy access to my mind, when they want to try... or when I let my guard down too much. I guess sharp pain makes me snap out of it."

I blinked. "Wait a minute," I said, "if the Reapers want my secrets that badly... does that mean I'm gonna have to stab myself with a fork or something every time I start to hear them?" I winced at the idea.

Garrus shook his head. "Let's deal with that when the time comes; for now, you're lucky to be with us like you are."

"Did I hear you two correctly? This woman was a husk...and then came back from it, with barely a scratch?" Irren interrupted.

"It's a complicated story that I don't even understand," Garrus said, glancing at Irren. "Don't ask." He looked back at me. "Just don't let them get to you; Saren thought he couldn't be indoctrinated, either, and that didn't turn out so well for him."

"Yeah I know, and I don't want to be an enemy," I said slowly. "Ugh... does this mean I won't be able to sleep, or anything? I don't want them to get back into my head again!"

"Don't panic; stay calm. The last thing we need is for them to get us unnerved at a time like this. That's what the Reapers want. They want us to be scared and fearful to tamper with our resolve," Garrus said. "It'll make taking Palaven, and our lives, all the more easy for them."

I sighed. "Okay... thank you Garrus," I said with a sigh of relief. "I'll just try to relax and... be happy. Or calm. Or whatever. I want to help and I'll stay out of everyone's way, and I won't even be a bother back on the Normandy. I'll just stay in my room all the time and I won't make a pest out of myself and-" Garrus interrupted my incessant rambling.

"Sarah, stop. Right now, even the Normandy seems a little far ahead...though I'd hope for all our sakes that it's not. Do you have any idea when Shepard will be here?" Garrus asked me intently.

"Uh... I don't know. It could be days," I told him honestly. "Just be ready when she gets here. You're gonna have to rescue the Primarch... well no matter what happens, you'll have to save a Primarch."

Garrus sighed. "This is all getting too complicated...but thanks, Sarah, for warning me. I really do appreciate it," he said sincerely.

"You're welcome," I said. "So uh... what now?"

Right at that moment, as if on cue, a black-skinned turian came rushing up toward us. "FIRE!" he yelled.

All three of us looked sharply in his direction. "Fire at what?" Garrus demanded, his experienced eyes quickly scanning the area. I didn't see anything, and I don't think he did either.

"No, no, there's a fire!" the turian said frantically.

"Where?" Irren asked.

"Where the hell's the fire?" Garrus asked.

"Over there!" the turian turned and began to lead the way.

Garrus dithered on the spot, looking between Irren and I. "Go on, sir," Irren urged him. "I'll keep an eye on Sarah."

"Just don't hit me," I requested. My head was still throbbing enough as it was.

Garrus darted off, following the turian. Irren didn't respond.


	4. Chapter 4

"_I don't care that you're a human, Commander; all I care is that you get the job done."_

**-Nihlus to Commander Shepard**

Shepard liked to think that one of the things that made her such an effective leader was that she cared about the people around her. She knew what she wanted to accomplish before going into action, who to assign to what jobs, and, most importantly, she recognized and embraced her own mortality. She was a strong woman that had witnessed the atrocity of war firsthand, one who often felt as though the weight of the universe rested on her shoulders, and she wasn't built to put up with the political BS that accompanied her various promotions throughout the years.

Being out of confinement was as disturbing as it was liberating. She'd left a galaxy reeling in shock and returned to one drowning in war. She'd always managed a fine balance between her personal life and the life she was expected to lead, but it was with more trepidation than usual when she pushed thoughts of Abby, HK, Kaidan, and the Normandy away and focused on the here and now, where she belonged.

Those things would be seen to eventually.

The asari aide escorting her might have been a Matriarch. Shepard didn't know why that thought crossed her mind, because the woman looked just as young as Liara, but something about the way she carried herself bespoke of a confidence born of living in an age very different from her own.

The area was exactly as she'd remembered it; very large to the point where it could fit at least several hundred people at once, but it only held key personal. The ceiling was far above their heads; there was probably enough room in there for the Normandy to swoop inside and fly around a little as long as it was careful. A stray thought entered Shepard's mind as the asari aide dismissed herself and Shepard proceeded forward:

This area alone would be able to house a lot of survivors.

Of course, she knew that such thinking was counterproductive. For one thing, Earth was very far away and it was impossible to evacuate everyone. On the other hand, this was the Council's meeting area; a place of importance. They wouldn't want to step out of the way and hand the area over to a bunch of humans, most likely.

It was just a thought.

"We've got our own problems, Councilor," the turian councilor was saying to Udina as she finished drawing near. She stood on a precipice at the end of a walkway; a tiled window could be seen directly beneath them all. The last time she'd stood there, she'd sacrificed more than a thousand human lives to save the Destiny Ascension.

Frankly this entire area felt like a show of political power. She stood on the edge of what seemed like a diving board while the council members stood behind a rail on the area across from her, as if it was set up to separate those of different status. The Council was on one side, and those privileged to see them stood at the precipice.

Nonetheless, Shepard took up her position next to Liara and looked at them squarely, as if they were standing right in front of her. She was neither impressed nor intimidated by the bureaucratic placement of individuals than she was the first time she'd been here.

"But Earth was the first Council world hit," Udina's unique, nasally voice intoned. "By our reports, it faces the brunt of the attack." It had been a while since Shepard had seen Udina, but he seemed… different. His balding hair had been darkened, perhaps in an attempt to appear more youthful-or maybe he was just sick of having white hair. The other thing she noticed about him was how calm and reasonable he sounded. He had dark lines on his face, especially around his eyes that indicated stress, but otherwise he seemed quite calm.

Could it be that finally getting a place on the Council had appeased the man's gruff nature to the point where he felt as though he was finally in a position to do some good?

"By _your_ reports," the salarian councilor put in. In other words, _human_ reports. Perhaps if turians or salarians had made the evaluation that Earth was being blown to hell and its people being slaughtered, they might take the situation more seriously.

Udina's mouth formed into a thin, hard line. She recalled getting that reaction out of him on a regular basis.

Shepard cleared her throat. Time for someone who'd actually been on Earth at the start of the attack to speak up. "The reports are accurate," she stated, clasping her hands together behind her back. "Earth was attacked by the Reapers."

All eyes were on Shepard now. She had their full attention. "And it's just the beginning," the Commander went on. "We need your help. Everything you can spare." She was not pleading or begging - she simply told them.

"Each of us faces a similar situation. Even now, the Reapers are pressing on our borders," the asari Councilor said. As always, her voice was level, reasonable, and held an alluring quality. Out of all of them, she was the most difficult to gauge. "If we lend you our strength to help Earth, our own worlds will fall."

In other words it was a matter of survival, as Shepard knew it would be. If another world had been hit by the Reapers first and were only just beginning to approach Earth's borders, would the Alliance be willing to spare ships to send to their aide? _For all the good our defenses did in preventing the Reapers from getting too close_, she thought grimly.

She didn't like that thought.

"We must fight this enemy together," Udina pressed, saying exactly what Shepard would have said.

"And so we should just follow you to Earth?" the salarian councilor snapped incredulously.

"Even if we were to unite our fleets, do you think we could defeat the Reapers?" the turian councilor asked, looking straight at Shepard now.

Shepard felt a strange sense of déjà vu. Wasn't it only a few hours ago that she stood before the high-ranking admirals on Earth to give her statement about the Reapers, only to see the entire room-and nearly everyone in it-get killed moments later when the Reapers attacked? Only out here, the Citadel was safe-for the time-being. There were no explosions in the distance, no people dying-only statistics and reports, numbers that were as cold and detached as the machines that spewed them out. They could probably just stand here all day and talk about what to do and what was happening until they were blue in the face and the Reapers tore the Citadel apart.

"I don't expect you to follow me without a plan," Shepard said honestly. That was what the politicians needed right now; something that said '_Here's what we're gonna do and how we're gonna win this war'_. It was far more than she'd had back on Earth, at least.

Never bring an issue to discussion without having a plan in place. The person that introduced that concept to her was a very smart man taken away after a very short time.

Liara took her cue and stepped up to grab their attention. "Councilors," she said, "we _have_ that plan." The way she spoke, you could have believed that plan had a chance much bigger than the estimates told her. Whether she knew it or not, Liara was quickly becoming the leader she'd always told Shepard she was. "A blueprint, created by the Protheans during their war with the Reapers."

"A blueprint for what?" the turian asked skeptically.

"We're still piecing it together," Liara said as she activated her omni-tool. "But it appears to be a weapon of some sort." A large holographic image appeared in the space in front of her, showing the outline of the schematics stored within. It revealed an image of the device, along with several lines of text on holographic panels on either side of it.

It was big.

"Capable of destroying the Reapers?" the salarian asked, sounding skeptical yet intrigued at the same time.

"So it would seem," Liara said. Her eyes remained locked on the image before her, as if she was trying to memorize every angle and figure out exactly how it would work.

"The scale is… it would be a colossal undertaking," the salarian said.

"No, I forwarded the plans to Admiral Hackett," Shepard said. She wasn't going to give them a way to back out. Humans took care of their own. "The remnants of the human fleet are already gathering resources to begin construction." In other words, the humans were taking their own initiative; Shepard hoped that the council would see that. There was still hope, they just needed more ships and soldiers to help defend Earth. They needed to buy time so that the device could be finished, and this meant the Alliance held the key to saving the known galaxy.

"Our initial calculations suggest that it is very feasible to build," Liara supplied, her eyes locked onto her omni-tool.

"_If_ we work together," Shepard added, giving the Council a meaningful look. She almost thought she saw Udina's slight nod of approval. Though she might have been imagining things.

"Have you considered that the Reapers destroyed the Protheans?" the asari councilor put in, bringing up yet another reasonable concern about why they shouldn't even try. "What good did this weapon do?" She wanted to be convinced.

"It was incomplete," Liara told her. "There was a missing component, here. Something referred to as only the 'Catalyst'. But they ran out of time before they could finish building it."

Shepard narrowed her eyes fractionally as she looked up at the holographic image displayed before them. The most aggravating thing about all of this was that she knew that she had the answers right at her fingertips. Abby and HK were on the Normandy _right now_, and however it was that they got their information… they knew what the Catalyst was. Yet they always liked to play their little games, where they always held back until something was about to happen.

Then again, hadn't she herself once commended Abby, a short time before the girl died, for the good work in keeping their secrets in check? Any of them could have sold their secrets to the highest bidder or tried to manipulate events for a self-serving outcome. Yet they never did that, and they seemed to be the same as they were before.

Yet Abby still let Kaidan get hurt and didn't mention anything about the AI. Then again… was that Shepard's own fault? It wasn't like she gave Abby much of a chance to say anything. However, there were more pressing things to attend to at the time; Earth had just been invaded and Hackett ordered her to go to Mars. Plus there were still a lot of uncertainties about HK and Abby's sudden appearance, back from the grave… and Sarah was probably out there somewhere as well.

What if this was all a trick by the Reapers? Or what if Cerberus was behind this?

"Commander Shepard?" the turian Councilor prompted.

Shepard snapped out of her reverie, returning to the present. "I'm sorry," she said formally. "I just got a little distracted. What did you say?" Liara glanced at her with concern, but the Commander ignored her.

"Do you really believe this can stop the Reapers?" the turian councilor reiterated. He sounded slightly annoyed at having to repeat his question.

"Well, it sure as hell beats standing around an arguing about it," Shepard stated, allowing some bite to show. "And while I haven't always agreed with Udina, he's right about this. We _need _to stand together. Now more than ever."

She paused to let that sink in, and then she continued. "The Reapers won't stop at Earth. They'll destroy every organic being in the galaxy if we don't find a way to stop them."

Udina wasn't looking at anyone; he was staring down at the rail in front of him. The turian and asari councilors turned to look at the salarian councilor, who gave a slight shake of his head. They exchanged a silent communication, the subtleties of which were lost on Shepard. Now the asari took the role of spokesperson and addressed Shepard directly.

"The cruel and unfortunate truth is that while the Reapers focus on Earth," she said, "we can prepare and regroup."

Off to the side, Udina's hands seemed to tighten around the railing, but he said nothing.

"We are convening a summit amongst our species," the salarian supplied. "If we can manage to secure our own borders, we may once again consider aiding you."

"I'm sorry, Commander," the asari said. "That is the best we can do." With that the meeting was over, and one by one the alien council members turned and began to walk away.

Udina was the only one who remained standing there, facing the Commander. "Shepard," he said in a serious tone, "meet me in my office." His mouth formed a thin line and his jaw set, and then he turned and abruptly stepped away from the rail.

Liara had already shut off her omni-tool. She turned to look at Shepard. "I hope that is an offer of support," she said for the Commander's benefit. "I'll be digging up what I can on this Prothean device, Shepard."

"Do what you can," Shepard sighed. Since no one else was around except her friend right now, she permitted herself a sigh of aggravation and she placed a hand against her forehead. She could already feel a migraine coming on, and her implants weren't helping much in that area. If Chakwas had been around, she could've taken care of it almost as soon as it came. What she would give for the doctor's familiar, reassuring presence on the Normandy...

She felt a gentle hand touching her shoulder. "Amelia," Liara said gently, speaking to her as a friend in the way they only did when they were alone, "are you alright?"

"We need to win this, Liara," Shepard said. "The worst part is that the answer is right under my fingertips, if I can get HK or Abby to spill what they know."

"I remember them," Liara commented. "Nyxeris captured them and took them to the Collectors, and your entire team had to save them."

And that was also when Sarah had left her post supposedly due to a nosebleed… though Shepard had later realized better. The truth was, Sarah never had a nosebleed, that was just an excuse to get away from the frightening and gruesome sights of war. It was something that Shepard had grown used to seeing every day, but some people could never get used to it. They just weren't cut out for that life.

_We're not soldiers._

God, that would never stop haunting her.

Shepard just hoped that wherever Sarah was now, assuming she really was alive as well… she was staying out of the line of fire and away from guns. And staying out of trouble.

"Yeah," Shepard commented. "I made some mistakes in those days," she admitted confidingly. "This time there is no room for mistakes."

"Everyone makes mistakes, Shepard," Liara said. "To borrow a human term…" Her blue lips quirked into a small smile. "It's only human."

Shepard smiled slightly in return. The ironic part was that many aliens acted like humans, too. It just showed that the sentient races really weren't all that different. They all have the same wants, needs, and drives as the other. "Keep an eye on your sources," she said, giving Liara a slight pat on the shoulder, "and let me know if you find any trace of Sarah."

"I will," Liara said, adding it to the mental list of priorities in her mind. "It would be a good idea to have all three of them onboard where we can keep an eye on them."

"Not to mention I'm worried that Sarah may crack under pressure and give intel to the wrong person," Shepard sighed. "Anyway Udina is waiting for me. I'll see you back on the ship."

"Yes, Commander." Shepard turned to go, leaving Liara there staring seriously at a readout on her omnitool. "But Shepard?"

She stopped.

"Are you certain that they're the psychics you think they are?" Liara asked, a familiar dent between her eyebrows that appeared whenever she was confused.

"I don't know," Shepard said. "They did a hell of a job last time; if it's them again, I think we can trust them. We just need to figure out the whole story."

"Yes, Commander. I'll... keep an eye on Cerberus. Just be careful."

* * *

><p><strong>(Sarah)<strong>

There was only one problem with hanging around in a turian camp; there wasn't anything to eat. Not for humans, at least. I'll admit that I did get desperate enough to try eating some of it, but it made me toss my cookies in a rather spectacular fashion. At least there was water, which was a good thing. And I knew that the human body could sustain itself for several days without food if it had too… not that that was much comfort when my stomach was growling at me.

If only husks were more like Abby, I could be a secret weapon for this war. Okay... that was mean of me. I shouldn't be thinking like that. But if only husks had an irrational fear of vomit…

However, at least I could stay in my own compound; I just had to put up with my shadow, Irren. He wasn't all that bad, and we'd actually had a few interesting conversations... when we weren't being silent, or sometimes annoying each other. We didn't have any major arguments or anything, we just seemed to get on each other's nerves. Which I guess was likely to happen, since neither of us could really go anywhere. We were probably just bored, each in our own way.

So for the time-being, I would sit and wait.

However, the period of sitting here and doing nothing was about to end. I was suddenly aware of Irren yelping, accompanied by what sounded like a sickening crack to his skull. I turned just in time to see a female turian rushing at me. Before I could react, the butt of her rifle slammed into my face, and everything went black.

* * *

><p>I awoke to find myself... somewhere dark, damp, and kind of creepy. Considering the texture of damp rock beneath my fingertips, it didn't take a genius to figure out that I was in a cave. Probably an underground gave, judging from the lack of light.<p>

I groaned a bit and tried to move. Okay, being whacked in the face and left to lie unconscious on a rocky cave floor for who knows how long was enough to make one very sore and stiff.

"Ow," I complained with a groan. "Why do all the turians want to hit me lately?" It felt like the spot where Garrus had hit me was starting to sting again too, just to spite me.

"Maybe because you've decided to let our world, and all of the people on it, die without a second thought?" a familiar voice said. It was a voice that I actually recognized.

Who the hell was that? I just knew that I'd have to play this cool, because... well, there was no telling what this person might do if I didn't cooperate with she wanted. "Look, I'm sorry," I said quietly. My head was throbbing and making it difficult for me to speak. "But I already explained to Garrus-" But she cut me off angrily.

"Don't make excuses!" she snapped. "You forced me into this, you know; Garrus and your bodyguard wouldn't let me talk to you, so I had to take matters into my own hands. A year ago, I would've been mortified at myself doing something so deranged, but now...I never imagined that this would happen! I don't know why Garrus is still putting up with you and letting the Reapers ravage our planet, but I need answers."

"Could you tell me your name, at least?" I asked. "I mean, you sound familiar... and you sound like you really believe I know the future. A lot of the turians don't, really... I feel like they're just putting up with me because of Garrus."

"Are you really that stupid!" the mysterious turian exclaimed. "How can someone like you know the future but not remember people who you've met? Regardless, you don't need my name; you just need to tell me the key to stopping these monsters. Start talking, janitor."

Janitor...? Then it had to be someone who'd been on the Normandy. What female turian had-

Oh... Neyrata. Garrus's old flame, the one who had been picked up with those kids during Zaeed's loyalty mission. Figures she would wind up in the same camp where Garrus was... unless it was just a coincidence.

But why was she doing this? I didn't know much about her, but she seemed a lot more calm and reasonable than this. "Neyrata," I murmured aloud. "I... I'm sorry I can't tell you anything."

"You can't, or you won't?" Neyrata yelled angrily. "I thought you'd sympathize with me! Earth is burning, just like Palaven, and you still won't tell me anything? I know that you know the future; I remember you and your friends well, yet none of you are doing anything to stop this war? If you want to leave this place alive, then you'll tell me."

I gasped sharply. "You'd kill me?" I said, hating the tremor in my voice. I knew that I was giving away the fact that I was easily intimidated. Where the hell was Irren-or Garrus, or Shepard-when I needed them?

"Sarah, I watched my squad mates get killed right in front of my eyes," Neyrata replied, suddenly sounding a bit sadder than before. "My squad meant everything to me; they were the closest friends I had. And I watched them get ripped apart by those...abominations. Within minutes, they were brutally murdered. And right after that happened, I heard that my family was killed in the first round of attacks on Palaven. The Reapers struck right in my hometown, and none of my family made it out alive. Who knows if those kids that I rescued awhile back are still alive? I don't have a choice in this."

I swallowed, feeling something hard forming in my throat. I began to feel more and more guilty, especially since there was a chance that Garrus's family could get out okay. This poor woman had already lost everything that mattered to her; she was now grasping at straws to save the one thing she could… her home world.

"How can you be so heartless?" Neyrata asked. I couldn't see her face in the dim light, but I could tell that she was scowling at me. "Your family is probably dead, too! Everyone you've ever known, except maybe the ones you served on a ship with, is dying on your own planet! And everyone that I know, everyone that I care about, is dying. Garrus is your friend and you're letting everyone that he loves be harvested by the Reapers! How?"

Tears were streaming down my face now. "Please, you have to let me go," I pleaded, turning away. I couldn't tell her that my family was far away, in another universe… safe and sound. And they would always be safe from the Reapers, because there were no Reapers outside of the Mass Effect universe.

"To let you run off and continue to let Palaven go down in flames? I don't like kidnapping anyone; that's not who I am, but I don't have a choice, Sarah! This may be the only shot that the entire turian race has at saving themselves!" Neyrata exclaimed. She sounded desperate herself.

My resolve was starting to melt away. How could I sit here and just... say nothing? "I need to confer with my friends first," I insisted. We definitely needed to have a meeting of some kind, to figure out what the heck we were going to do.

Suddenly, I felt the pain of my neck being grabbed, and I felt myself violently twisted around so I could see the outline of Neyrata's furious face in the barely lit cave chamber. "Confer with your friends? What are you all going to say? 'Hmm, should we sit and let the Reapers destroy the Galaxy or should we give everyone around us a fighting chance'? How is it this hard of a decision?"

I gasped and whimpered, suddenly scared that she might try to throttle me or bash my head against the rocky ground or something. "It's just not that simple! There could be bad consequences if-if the info falls into the wrong hands!"

"You should know that soldiers like me and Garrus are not the wrong hands!" Neyrata shouted, growing more flustered by the minute, it seemed. "Tell me, now! I refuse to let more turians die because you don't have the balls to fight the Reapers!"

I squeezed my eyes shut. "Okay, okay, fine!" I practically screamed. "The answer is on the Citadel!" I felt her fingers loosen their hold on my neck slightly, as though she was starting to relax a little bit now. "It's... it's on the Citadel."

"Where on the Citadel?" Neyrata pressed.

"I'm not exactly sure... it has to be activated by a device that the Alliance will be building. It was found in the Prothean archives on Mars; the Citadel is the catalyst for the device, and it will destroy the Reapers."

There. I had just spilled the beans and betrayed HK and Abby before I'd had a chance to confer with them. Maybe I had even betrayed Shepard in a way. I really, really hoped she was happy. I probably just ruined everything.

"How do I know you're telling me the truth? The Citadel, the hub of all galactic civilization, is the key to stopping the Reapers? It sounds a bit out there," Neyrata hissed. She still sounded hesitant, but less angry than before.

"I promise," I said sincerely, my voice trembling. "That's the truth. It's somewhere on the Citadel."

And then, right at that moment, that... sense or whatever started to return. I could hear the husks inside my head. And I could tell that they were coming.

"Neyrata, husks are coming!" I shouted.

"Husks?" Neyrata exclaimed, instantly alert and keeping her gun at the ready. "Damn it. Okay...you're coming with me. We're going to fight through these husks, and then I'm taking you to the Citadel. We're going to activate this...catalyst there, if we can."

Once again I felt as though my arm had become an extended leash as I was hauled through the caves. The dull roar of husks sounded, echoing off of the walls even as they pierced my brain. Whatever was going on, I knew that my on-again-off-again link to the husks or Reapers or whatever was still intact. I couldn't help but wonder if I'd given our position away somehow.

I couldn't really see anything as we rushed through the caves, but Neyrata had a light on her weapon and she used it as a guide. She fired and ripped husks apart as she went, until finally we could see the cave exit.

We both quickly exited the cave and found ourselves outside, where we both stopped momentarily for a breath.

However, the peace didn't last. It wasn't long before another swarm of husks came toward us, already overrunning our position.

Neyrata hissed and threw me behind cover. She then turned to face the husks directly, taking them all on like a wild woman. She no longer seemed like a mere member of the turian military; she seemed like a crazed animal. She fired rapidly, taking down husk after husk... until she ran out of ammo.

Then they swarmed over her. She kicked and punched, even bit and clawed at them, but it was no use.

There were too many of them, and I heard her scream in rage as they tore into her, ripping right through her armor and breaking her arms and legs off of her body. And then one of them snapped her neck in a sickening crack.

For a moment I could only stare in horror. And then they turned toward me.

The husks began to charge at me, eager to repeat the moves they had just used to kill Neyrata, until an array of bullets began to take the husks apart. Their attention was diverted from me as several husks were shot down, causing a few cannibals to fire back at the opposing force. I simply watched as they went down as well, and not long after, Irren emerged on the top of a rock, continuing to tear the husk forces apart.

"Apparently you do have a penchant for getting into trouble," he muttered dryly.

"She... she died!" I exclaimed breathlessly, unable to tear my eyes away from her corpse. Some of the cannibals were eating her now... what was left of her. "She died..."

Irren finished off the last cannibals that were defiling Neyrata's body, and once it was all clear, he jumped down to where I was. He stared down at the dead turian grimly. "Makkan. I thought she had something to do with this; I saw her coming towards me, and next thing I knew, she flat out attacked me. Then you were gone."

I swallowed. "Yeah... she wanted to know how to stop the Reapers. She made me tell."

"She's been on edge ever since the war started. I've never worked too closely with her, but she was a good soldier before. Noble, had good intentions, but her squad and her family were both killed early on. It took a toll on her morale, and ever since she heard that you arrived, she'd been pressuring to see you," Irren explained, still looking at her body. Then he looked at me. "Wait. You told her how to stop the Reapers?"

I whirled on him and kicked some dust in his direction. "Don't you DARE start with me!" I snapped, my voice cracking bitterly. I felt like I was very, very close to reaching some kind of breaking point. I didn't want, or need, someone else trying to pump me for information.

Irren scowled. "Remember who just saved your ass," he commented.

I pressed a hand over my mouth, feeling my shoulders starting to shake. It actually took a moment to realize I was crying. "I just want to go home," I whimpered.

"Unfortunately, neither of us can go home right now," Irren said. He sounded rather unsympathetic, yet at the same time, like he understood somehow. "But right now, we can get back to the camp. We need to before too much time goes on...I, uh, never told anyone you went missing."

"Um, alright," I said, wrapping my arms around myself comfortingly. It helped just a little. "Let's just get going."

He gave a nod, and we began to walk back toward the camp.

"Why didn't you tell anybody I was gone?" I asked dully. I didn't really care at this point, I was just trying to make conversation.

"I was hoping you wouldn't ask," Irren said as we walked, with him leading the way.

"Yeah well... I was just curious. If you're not upfront it might look like you're lying or hiding something," I commented in spite of myself. Perhaps I shouldn't risk antagonizing the person who'd just saved me, but right now I just didn't care. I felt numb inside.

Irren gave me something that looked like a slightly patronizing look, but then he turned his eyes back to the path ahead. "Well, alright, maybe you deserve to know. I didn't tell anyone because, well, I don't have a bad track record, but I'm still just a soldier following orders. Watching you and stopping a rogue soldier should be simple, yet I failed at it. I don't want my commanding officers to get a bad idea about my skills."

"Yeah well... I'm sure Garrus could put in a good word for you. You saved my life, after all, when it mattered."

"Who says Garrus would want to? He's the one that assigned me to this and I couldn't even do it for that long," Irren remarked in a very matter-of-fact tone.

"Everybody makes mistakes sometimes. I mean, you can't be perfect," I said with a dismissive shrug. "If people were supposed to be perfect, Shepard would never have kept me on the Normandy. She probably would have booted me out the airlock or left me on the Citadel or something."

"Yet you're not a soldier fighting the biggest war that your race has ever seen," Irren argued.

"No," I snapped, "I'm just a stupid psychic who knows all about a possible future and three possible endings to this fucking war and now I'm going to have to worry about people whacking me over the head for this information, or Reapers being able to read my mind because I was once a husk. You have it so much worse than me." I stamped my foot and began to walk faster, getting ahead of him. I was panting, breathless and sore, and I was starving. But my mood somehow gave me enough energy to move quickly.

"Yes, I do," Irren agreed, quickly catching up to me. "I've been assigned to watch the stupid psychic who knows all about the future and has to worry about people whacking her over the head or Reapers reading her mind!"

I whirled around to glare at him. "So you really do think I'm stupid? Then why are you here? Why didn't you just let the husks take me-just so you can look good in front of your bosses? Well thanks a lot!" I stamped my foot again. Apparently that was becoming a habit.

"I was mocking you! And for the record, I saved you because I thought that you didn't deserve to die or be tortured. And Makkan is just evidence of what this war is doing to my people," Irren snapped, walking past me.

"Then it just gives me yet another reason why I don't want to be here! I hate being here, I didn't want to come back. I didn't want to be on the Normandy the last time-it's just because of that STUPID wish, which has somehow brought me back here," I shouted, stomping after him. "I don't know who or what keeps bringing me back here, but I'm tired of knowing everything! It suuuucks!" My voice ended on a shrill note and I realized I was whining. I almost thought I saw Irren's face contort in slight annoyance.

"Well, if this is all because of some wish, can you maybe wish that the Reapers would go away? That'd make it a lot easier on all of us!" Irren snapped.

"Why don't YOU wish them to go away? Why don't you wish I can just go home? Then I'd be out of your hair and you wouldn't have to watch me anymore!" My tone dripped with venomous sarcasm.

I heard Irren growl slightly. "Maybe you are stupid. You want to get wished back to another burning planet, and I don't even have hair!" he yelled. I wasn't sure if he said that just to get a jab in or not.

"Maybe I could wish that you have hair, if it will make everybody happy!" I shouted hysterically. I yanked at my own hair and pulled free a few loose strands. "Here, you can have some of mine! And then I'll get out of it for you!" I threw it at his chest plate, for whatever good that did.

"Woo, hair, you truly are a genie in a bottle," Irren remarked sarcastically, before letting the hair fall to the ground and continuing on.

I gritted my teeth together and charged up behind him. "Then maybe I can turn you into a hairy monkey if I try-all I have to do is wish up Petra Black. She's good at experimenting on people!" I barked, giving the back of his arm a firm smack. It made my hand hurt, but maybe it did relieve my aggravation... just a little bit.

Irren probably had no way of knowing this, but Petra Black was my OC. And she was a mad scientist type of character I wouldn't normally wish on anyone.

"Do you always hit the people who save you? When Commander Shepard got you on the Normandy, did you thank her with a firm slap?" Irren asked, ignoring some of my remarks as we continued along. It was probably better that he didn't ask about Petra Black, anyway.

I stopped and planted my feet stubbornly in place, folding my arms across my chest like a rebellious six-year-old. "You can hit me if it makes me feel better," I jeered dangerously.

"Well, I don't feel the need to hit people when someone gets under my skin," Irren said, continuing to walk, even with me stopped.

I huffed, and sat down on a nearby rock, staring off into the distance. I could hear the sounds of husks in a far distance; not too close, thankfully. We were alright for the moment. And thankfully, I didn't hear them in my head anymore... at least for the moment. I knew I was being a bit of a bitch, but this day was not going well. Maybe I just wanted to aggravate the hell out of this guy.

"Are you coming or not?" Irren shouted back to me.

"Go on back to camp. Bye, bye," I shouted back, without looking at him. I then straightened and squared my shoulders defiantly, silently daring him to come get me.

Irren kept walking.

"Okay, bye!" I called out, folding my arms across my chest and deliberately sitting there, facing the opposite direction from where he was going. Maybe... I don't know, maybe it was just... if I couldn't spill the beans on anything, and I couldn't get out of this hell hole and go back to my real home... maybe I could win a stupid little spat, at least.

I stopped in my tracks and sighed. Just... what the hell was I doing? I was in the middle of a warzone, I'd just been taken prisoner, and I'd nearly been killed by those husks. They could come back any minute. I was just acting like an idiot... almost as badly as I had when I went off on my own on Tuchanka and pointed a gun at Kasumi. That memory still made my stomach tie up into a knot.

I turned and began rush after my turian bodyguard. He was just doing his job; it wasn't right to take out my frustrations on him. "Irren!" I called out.

"Yes?" Irren asked, not looking back at me or stopping.

I was literally panting and breathless by the time I caught up to him, and even then I still had to hurry along. He was taller than me and he had longer legs; that made it difficult for me to match his stride. "I hate you," I grumped. Okay, I was willing to stick by him and not run off by an idiot. But that didn't mean my mood was any better, and it didn't mean I wanted to be nice at the moment.

"We barely know each other; we may not know each other for long. I doubt you'll want to stick around here. So don't waste your time on hating me," Irren advised, not even giving me a passing glance.

I shook my head, sighing. I stamped my foot again and pressed on after him. He was SO infuriating. He wouldn't respond to anything I did, he just kept on going and expected me to follow. He was so stubborn, and he didn't even force me to come along like Shepard would have. I felt like he would have simply left me to the husks if I'd been too stupid to follow him... or maybe waited until the very last minute to bail me out, just to prove a point.

So... why did I feel like I liked him? A lot? I shook my head again at myself.


	5. Chapter 5

**(Abby)**

The Normandy was quieter than it used to be.

I'd waited in the Lounge as long as I could, alone except for the gentle hum of the engines in the background. The room was darker than the others, illuminated only by an overhead light above the poker table and the ones around the bar. I stayed away from the bar and hung out by the card table, drumming my fingers on the edge. My heart was beating unsteadily in my chest, and I felt a very dark fear in the pit of my stomach. I imagined every sound was of Shepard outside my door, about to come in. I fixed my hair a million times, I paced, I tried to look busy, I stared out the viewport into the nothingness of space, imagining the carnage millions on miles away.

Shepard never came.

It seemed like a long time before I felt something shift in the lower deck. The stars outside trembled, and then the streaks solidified into little points of light. We'd left FTL travel.

"EDI," I said into the empty room, "are we at the Citadel now?"

"Yes."

"Just making sure," I muttered. I rolled my shoulders and slipped my shoes back on. "Can I meet Shepard upstairs?"

"She's expressed a strong desire for you to stay on the ship," EDI replied.

My heart sank. "She never came to talk to me."

EDI didn't answer. Somehow, I didn't expect her to.

* * *

><p>"There is food in the pantry," EDI said an hour later.<p>

"No, thank you, EDI," I said, not even bothering to raise my head, which was buried in the pillow of my hands. Looking out the window at the hanger had lost its charm two hours ago.

Memories of the night before the Suicide Mission seemed a far-off fantasy now. I missed Kasumi's welcoming presence. It was like her entire existence had been wiped out.

* * *

><p>When the door opened, I felt my heart jump into my throat. I looked up, the juxtaposition of darkness to light stinging my eyes. I expected to see Shepard. The person that walked through the door was definitely <em>not<em> Shepard, but I was happier to see him than I'd ever thought I'd be.

HK.

I screamed and barreled into him, hugging him tightly. "Oh my God, how did you get here?" I gasped. I was probably choking him by now. "Oh my God, I was so scared!" I pushed him away. "Where were you?" I caught a glimpse of James Vega's bootyliscious butt walking back to the elevator before the door closed, leaving the two of us in here, alone.

HK smiled at me; he almost looked a little tired, but at the same time, it wasn't hard to tell that he was relieved, too. "Oh, Abby, it's so good to see you!" he exclaimed. "I-I didn't know if you were here...in fact, I didn't have a clue what was going on. I don't know how, or why, but I ended up on the Citadel...I was really lost and confused. Eventually, I found my way to Shepard and she told me that you were here, and sent me back here after a little...uh, catch up. That's literally all I know, except that the Reapers just invaded. We're right at the beginning."

EDI was probably recording our conversation. If I were Shepard, I would. We'd have to avoid mentioning the plot in terms of a video game. It was weird, switching back into this mode. Back home, we'd talked about it pretty freely. Now it was all secretive again.

"I showed up on Earth," I said quickly. "But you two weren't there… I-I panicked. And then the little boy led me to the building. Listen, I think the kid is what we saw at the end. Remember, we talked about that?" I pursed my lips. "He disappeared as some security guards approached me. I was on their property. I spun a-a story about being Shepard's niece and I talked to her through Anderson. I got on the ship and I've been here ever since. I haven't been able to talk to Shepard, and Joker doesn't… trust me. And I didn't tell her about Kaidan and Doctor Eva, either. She's mad. She's really, really mad. A-and Joker, even. I mean, I understand that we're supposed to be _dead_, but we can't explain what happened. Ever, right? _Soooo…_ that's where we stand. I think. I've been in this room forever. She… wouldn't take me on to the Citadel with her. Where's Sarah?"

A look of worry crossed HK's face. "I don't know; that's been on my mind a lot on the way over here. Both of you were beforehand, but now, it's just Sarah that we're missing. Shepard asked me where she was, but I don't have a clue. If we're both here, then she has to be...we need to find her. And yes, Shepard isn't too happy with us at the moment. She and I had a conversation at the hospital, where I ran into her. She's not happy at all about Kaidan's condition; she was very strict with me. I...I ended up telling her that he'd survive, and that he'd be a Spectre. She was upset, and I figured that it couldn't hurt too much. I don't even know what to think. It's weird...being back...having to act like this again. I understand why she's confused, and upset. We would be, too. I saw Dr. Chakwas, too, and she thought she was hallucinating. But I, or we, can't explain this to anybody. We really have no idea."

I groaned in frustration, kicking at the empty air. The thought of being stranded in this galaxy forever post-Relay destruction was a sobering one. "It's going to be even harder getting people to trust us than last time," I complained.

"Yes, it is," HK agreed, sighing. "Shepard wasn't very...warming when I met her, but I understand why. This is going to be really, really tense all around. And we still don't even understand any of this."

I guess I couldn't really blame her there. At least I wasn't alone in this anymore-Shepard had found HK, and I just hoped that she would find Sarah sometime soon. "We just need to convince Shepard that we're here to help her, just like before," I said with conviction. Shepard had come back from the dead and she wasn't any different; she had to believe the same about us. Though, I had to admit, Shepard was a pretty unique case.

"Her sending me to the ship and not throwing you out on the Citadel with me is a... good sign," HK said, sounding very hesitant, but trying to be slightly positive. _You're reaching_, I thought cynically. "She mentioned wanting to do that. But...I just don't understand. Why this again? Why now? Well, maybe that's a stupid question, but still."

I'd had a long time to think about _that_ one. "Well, I was thinking… remember how we got some spooky dreams on board the Normandy last time? I wonder if that has anything to do with anything," I said quietly. "I don't know what's going on, or how we got here. But I'm starting to believe the whole chain-mail theory less and less."

HK almost seemed confused, but then nodded. The mention of the dreams almost threw him off, most likely. We hadn't spoken about those in a long time. "That's... probably true. Even helped us come back from death... somehow. But, I mean, how can we just jump back into it? It's not like we can really say that we're back and it's time to get down to business. There's so much. I don't even know."

"What matters now, I guess, is that we're here now," I said, saying that to myself as much as I was to HK. "I think we should just play it simple for now. Give Shepard what she needs on a need-to-know basis, and... try not to screw anything up. And," I added, "we need to have another meeting when we find Sarah. She _has_ to be here. I was on Earth, you were on the Citadel…"

"Oh Sarah," HK said worriedly with a sigh. "I wonder where she could be. I'm definitely concerned for her. I mean, she's a grown woman and she'd...be able to handle herself, I think, but what if she's caught right in the middle of this Reaper attack?"

The exact same thought had crossed my mind while I was waiting in this room. The thought that Sarah or HK could have been caught in the middle of the war on Earth, or even dead, was too much to think about. At least I knew HK was okay; I didn't even know where Sarah was at the moment.

The idea that we could die and go home was no comfort to me. Death was easy, and living back home might even be preferable, but the fact remained that the act of dying _sucked._ I wouldn't wish it on anybody.

It could traumatize you. Sometimes I woke up in the middle of the night clutching my chest, my heart racing. I couldn't handle insects anymore.

"We just have to hope that she holds on until we get to her," I said.

"She's strong, a lot stronger than some people here may think, but... still, how could any of us survive like this? I'm lucky enough that I popped up on the Citadel," HK said. He was silent for a moment, before speaking again. "Are you okay? You had to watch Earth burn."

"I saw it happen from the cockpit," I said, a light shudder running down my spine. "James had me in a seat while Joker took us in to get Shepard. There were a couple of times when I thought the Reapers were going to hit us hard. I was terrified. It was close a couple of times."

"Strange how even when you know otherwise, you still have fears like that. Everything still feels so uncertain, even if we do know what'll happen," HK said, looking past me and gazing out at space. "I've missed some of this, in a way, but at the same time, I really, really haven't."

"I feel like we're going to have to earn their trust again," I sighed. "Shepard kept looking at me like I was a Cerberus spy in disguise or something, and Joker acted like I was a ghost. Not that I can blame any of them, it's just... they've moved on, and now we're back. And we gotta convince them it's really us."

Right at that moment, EDI spoke up. "I assure you that I know it is you; as I said to you in the cockpit, Abby, that is one advantage of having a genetic scanner. But the others among the crew may not be so easily reassured, or convinced."

"Hi, EDI," HK said, smiling lightly for a moment, as if he was trying to simply embrace all of this. "Didn't really have much of a chance to say hello to anyone on the way in... um, how're you?"

"I am operating at peak capacity," EDI answered. "I simply wish to inform you that Commander Shepard is on her way to see you."

So she finally decided to come see us. No doubt she wanted to pick our brains, or at least demand how the hell we came back from the dead. I couldn't help but feel a pang of frustration at how long I had to wait. "Thanks, EDI," I said, trying to keep my tone under control and… not belligerent.

"Well, this should be interesting," HK remarked, shaking his head. "Goodness, here we are again... just like old times. Never thought I'd say that."

I thought of Zaeed, and wondered what he would think if he saw me alive. Would he even care?

A few moments later, the door opened and none other than Commander Shepard entered. Despite being dressed in her off-duty fatigues, she still carried her sidearm. She'd never done that before. It was a sobering sight.

"I just got back from visiting Kaidan," she said rather pointedly, observing us carefully. Her arms were held loosely by her side, not crossed, and I had a thought that she was keeping them there to reach her weapon quicker. "He's out of surgery, but the doctor there said it could go either way." She paused, letting that point sink in. "So what do you say?" she asked, her tone carefully neutral.

I felt my heart sink a little when I saw her using it around me. She looked at us squarely in the eyes, as if establishing dominance.

But she felt like a stranger.

She was never talkative to begin with, but there was a certain relaxed feeling around her that simply was not present here. It was like we were starting from square one, and I'd only made it worse by withholding the information about Kaidan.

"Commander," I said, "I'm sorry I didn't warn you about Kaidan. I just – I didn't even know what to do. I don't know. But he's going to be _fine_, Commander. I promise."

Shepard's expression remained impassive, although I noticed a flicker in her eyes. Instead of addressing anything I said, she turned toward HK. "You agree?" she asked him.

He seemed to hesitate slightly; the Commander had an intimidating presence. Then he nodded. "Yes. Like I said back at the hospital, he'll recover. It's going to take some time, no doubt about that, but he'll live and will be able to fight again soon enough. You'll be able to visit him and talk to him a couple of times if you want, but that's all up to you."

Shepard nodded. She seemed to accept this news as she moved a short distance away, peering out the window for a moment. Finally, she turned to face us.

"I still don't know what to make of this," she said. "You three helped us beat the Collectors, and I spent the time _I_ needed to grieve your deaths. I moved on, and I was fully prepared to face the Reapers... only now, you're back. And you're still as frustrating." Her eyes narrowed fractionally.

I felt a need to defend our position, and to remind her of the same reason why we withheld information before. "Commander," I said, "maybe we can negotiate this time around. We can't tell you some things, but we'll let you know the big stuff before you hit it. Just like last time."

Before I could say anything else, a scowl and a sharp gesture from Shepard cut me off. "No," she said firmly, "we are not going to play that game this time. The fate of the entire galaxy is at stake and I need you both to tell me right now how I can stop the Reapers." She folded her arms across her chest, and I could feel her intense blue eyes X-Raying me. I shiver involuntarily; I'd never seen her look at me like that before.

It was almost as if she considered me a threat.

And then, as if she figured she had made her point with me, she turned her head just enough to give HK the exact same, stern look.

"I totally understand, but I don't know if we can do that, Commander. I am honest when I say I don't know," HK answered, looking at her with uncertainty. "I know you don't want to hear the same excuses again, and I understand, but neither of us know what to say. Just telling you everything...there's no telling what that could do."

"He's right," I said. "I'm sorry Commander, but we have to do things the way that we did them before. We'll give you information as you need it, and we'll help you make sure that everything goes the best way that it can. We can't help you any other way."

Shepard seemed to consider our words for a moment. Her scowl began to fade into a more neutral expression, and her eyes held a look of resignation. Then just a hint of the scowl returned as she said, "You don't know everything, but you know enough to be dangerous," she said, as if to herself. "Fine. I'll keep you aboard. You'll get something to do."

"Yes, ma'am," I said quietly.

"One more thing: the Catalyst. What is it?"

I looked at HK, biting my lip. He blinked, that silent nonverbal cue giving me the leeway I needed. "It'll win you the war," I said simply.

* * *

><p><strong>(Sarah)<strong>

We were back at camp down, and I was sitting inside one of the compounds. As far as I knew, no one knew the exact specifics of why Irren and I were outside the camp, but Garrus seemed to have a pretty good idea. He was a sharp cookie and very good at filling in the blanks, so he told me and Irren to stay in one place. I even noticed a few turian soldiers passing by the compound from time to time, distinctly looking in my direction. It made me wonder if they wanted to whack me on the head for information too... or maybe they were just following Garrus's orders or something.

After all, I was pretty valuable right now, right?

Irren and I were pretty much ignoring each other. Oh he was keeping an eye on me and watching the perimeter with the sharpness of a hawk, but we weren't exactly speaking. I guess there wasn't too much to say at the moment anyway.

And then I saw Garrus coming in my direction... probably to check up on me, or maybe to tell me that he thought I was stupid or something for all I knew. Lovely. I just knew I didn't really want to talk right now.

"Sarah," Garrus said as he approached. He glanced at Irren. "Lokam, excuse me and our...guest. I need to speak to her in private for a moment."

Irren nodded. "Yes, sir. Believe me, I have no trouble getting away for a few minutes," he muttered, walking away.

Once Irren was gone, Garrus motioned me into a more private area. He didn't seem upset, he seemed rather calm, but at the same time, it seemed like he had something important to discuss if he sent Irren away. "So, Sarah, please be honest with me, at least about this," he said bluntly, staring down at me. "You and Irren come back just as Neyrata goes missing. Irren gave me some very vague details, but it wasn't too hard for me to fill in the gaps. However, I'm still a bit sketchy on some details. Please tell me you didn't decide to kill Neyrata as some late revenge or something."

My hands clenched at my sides. Was he serious, or was that some stupid joke? It had better be a joke. Either way I didn't appreciate his words one bit, especially since I had been assaulted, kidnapped, threatened, and then I had to watch her die. "T-that's... not f-funny." I barely managed to choke out the words; I turned away from him angrily.

"Okay, I'm sorry, that was a grim attempt at putting some humor into all of this. We could use some at the moment, anyway; it's times like this that I wish Joker were here," Garrus remarked. "In all seriousness, I knew that Neyrata was not doing well, and that she was very...agitated that she couldn't see you. The war had a bad affect on her. What exactly happened out there? Again, Irren didn't give me much to go on, I just know that it wasn't pleasant."

I wrapped my arms around myself. It wasn't a gesture of defiance, it was kind of a self-comfort gesture. I wasn't going to ask Garrus or anybody else here for a hug, after all. I didn't look at him-I just kept staring down at the ground in front of my feet. "Um... Neyrata attacked Irren from behind, and then she came at me," I supplied in a low voice. "Next thing I knew, I woke up somewhere that was kind of dark... in a cave outside the camp, I guess. She kept threatening me until I told her how to stop the Reapers. Then when we left the caves, the husks attacked. They tore her apart... and Irren saved me." I shuddered again, placing a hand over my mouth. "I saw her die," I mumbled through my hand.

And to think that that could easily have been me, or it could easily be HK or Abby, or any of the other people I love and care about in this universe. At least this time, I can take comfort in the fact that if me, HK or Abby die, we'll just return home. But everybody else... it's final if they die.

Suddenly, I felt a hand gently touch my shoulder. "I'm sorry," Garrus said, sounding very sincere and almost a little sad himself. "I know it's hard, and I know you...weren't usually exposed to these sort of things. I'm sorry that you had to go through that. Neyrata was a good woman, but the deaths of those close to her, the destruction she's seen, it was too much for her. I tried to keep her away from you, for both your sake and her own, but I didn't suspect that she would go that far. Are you alright?"

I looked up at him, feeling my face go blank. What was I supposed to say? I could lie and say yes, but I wasn't going to fib about how I felt, and he'd probably see through it anyway. But what good would it do to say no? Was there really anything he could do? There was only one thing that I could do; just be quiet, stay out of trouble, stay out of the way, and wait for Shepard to arrive. That was it. So I glanced away from him, and I said nothing.

"I've gone through this for years. Sometimes, you can almost forget how it feels, to watch people that you know die. I've mourned so many people that eventually it just started settling in on me. Shepard, my team...Abby, HK, you. It's easy to forget how this can affect people that aren't used to this," Garrus commented, sympathizing with me. He'd seen much more death than I had.

"Yeah," I responded numbly, my voice trembling a little. "If it's all the same to you, I think I'd just like to... sleep or something until Shepard gets here. I'm sure... Irren will keep everybody away." I gulped. I actually felt like I was having a serious argument with my stomach, trying to keep down what little was left in it from the last time I'd eaten.

"That's probably for the best. Try to stay out of trouble," Garrus said. "I have a lot I need to get back to, so I'll be going now. Stay safe."

Garrus turned and left, and after he was gone, Irren came back inside. "How did that go? Did he want a...more detailed recap of the mission?" he asked in a monotone.

I plunked myself down onto my makeshift cot. "Pretty much," I responded quietly. I still wasn't feeling like myself. I decided to re-focus my attention on Irren; that seemed to work before, to get my mind off of things. "Hey um... thanks for what you did back there," I told him, hating the tremor that I still heard in my voice. I swallowed, trying to get rid of it.

"You're welcome. I had a job to do, so I planned on getting it done. I wasn't just going to leave you to die by Neyrata's hand, or the husks'," Irren stated, still having a very neutral tone overall.

"Mm-hmm," I uttered through tightened lips, and I just sort of curled up on the cot. I lay on my side with my legs tucked up in front of me, and my arms folded under my head. I stared out into the camp with my eyes half-shut, feeling like I was tired but I couldn't sleep. "I still remember her on the Normandy," I commented. "It wasn't that long ago. And... she and Garrus were friends. She helped Shepard on a mission, saved a couple of kids and a bunch of slaves... I never thought she'd do what she did today." I sucked in another breath. "I never thought I'd see her die like that."

There was also the little fact that it made death seem all the more real to me. Neyrata's death had been a lot more gruesome than mine had, the last time I was in this universe. In some ways it was weird, because it was almost like a dream… I could still feel the spider thing's fangs piercing into me, taking a chunk out of my throat and leaving me unable to breath. Yet at the same time… it still didn't feel like I'd died, in a way.

My memories of the entire thing were blurry, but it felt as though I hadn't truly been "free" from that body even after I'd died. Even though I was back home, safe and secure in my bed and settling down for a night's rest, I had a dream where the Collectors boarded the Normandy, and that I took HK from the medical bay and joined them. It didn't really feel like it was me… it was more like a weird dream where I was seeing through someone else's eyes as they were doing something terrible. And I couldn't stop it.

And then finally, there was the night when my mind or soul or whatever finally left the Mass Effect universe. I'm not kidding… it's like part of me stayed behind in that husk-body or whatever, after I… died there. I remember that it felt like I just couldn't have a restful night sleep after I died, even though I was home and perfectly safe. It's as if somehow my mind or my soul retained a connection to that body and it wouldn't relax until the connection was severed… or that body was truly dead.

I'm still not sure what happened, but… I simply remember hearing Harbinger's voice, and I could see my… dead self standing in a chamber, and HK was being held prisoner. I don't know if I overpowered Harbinger somehow, or if the husk-body could handle the strain of two minds trying to control it. All that I remember is that there was the terrible sensation of circuitry shorting out and flesh burning, and then…

Well, the sense of freedom and release that I'd experienced after that was nearly overwhelming. It was quite a relief. And I did not want to experience anything like that ever again.

"If I could've saved her, I would," Irren said, beginning to sound like he almost regretted what happened. He probably did. "I didn't know her, not like Vakarian apparently did, but she was a good soldier, and I knew what she had gone through because of this war. I would've brought her back here; maybe we could've tried to help her, somehow. I've seen a lot of death lately, but seeing what happened to her...it's still not a good sight."

"Yeah," I rasped. Before I even realized what I was doing, I unfolded one of my arms and slid it out from under my head. I held it out toward Irren, who was still standing just out of reach. Okay, I wasn't entirely sure what my intention was, and I could see by the look on his face that he wasn't sure either.

"Something you, uh, need?" Irren asked, seeming slightly confused; he himself seemed slightly dazed, but then again, he had gotten knocked out.

"I... want to just... hold your hand," I said quietly. "Just... hold my hand while I rest, please? I um... I just want to know that somebody is there I guess... I want something real to focus on in case I have a bad dream or something." I knew I was starting to babble like Tali when she was nervous. I shut my mouth and reached toward Irren again.

He sighed, and I felt a hand touch mine. "Alright...I don't usually do this sort of thing, but...alright."

I encircled his roughly textured skin with my fingers, holding onto it securely. He had only two fingers and a thumb, and I had four fingers and a thumb; it was kind of an... oddly matching pair of hands. I shifted my fingers so that all eight of our fingers could intertwine; I could feel the rough edges of his talons resting against my skin, just below my knuckles. I secured my grip, not quite squeezing but not easing up either.

Irren didn't say anything, but he seemed to do the same; he didn't squeeze, but he was holding my hands firmly. We were just there in silence, holding each other's hands like this, without a word.

"Good night," I murmured, taking some comfort from his presence-as if I could somehow draw some strength from his touch. I allowed my eyes to close, and I just hoped he would keep holding my hand at least until I fell asleep.

And he didn't. I never felt his fingers leave mine.

* * *

><p><strong>(Abby)<strong>

HK and I had a lot of catching up to do. It wasn't as though we never spoke online, but the fact that the two of us were in the room together, physically, was a huge bonus. The first time we'd come, it'd been awkward at first. But we'd all quickly formed a bond that (coupled with our already good knowledge of each other from the previous internet friendship) was on par with the best lifelong friends.

And we were pretty good at talking about nothing, too.

We kept the conversation light, reminiscing about the time we'd had before meeting up. He laughed at my unabridged version of events, from being Shepard's niece to Joker's new "co-pilot."

"The problem is," I told him, "is that most of the people on the ship are Alliance. Maybe even all of them, besides Joker. Nobody knows us. It'll be a bit difficult to explain about everything, wouldn't it?"

"Yes, that does make sense," HK mused. We were sitting in front of the observation window. He looked almost peaceful – a sharp contrast to our first few moments together. Now that we'd had time to think and to settle down, we could fully take in the fact that we weren't alone. I wondered privately if that scared him as much as me. "I trust Joker to do the right thing."

He was probably listening to our conversation. I wouldn't bare my feelings to HK now on how I felt about that. Joker's anger cut deeper than I thought it would. I wasn't the type of person that could make friends easily, and the war stressed so much on the companionship of your comrades. I'd developed a bond with all of the ground crew, even with Jack, but Joker had always been one of my favorites. _Things hurt more when they're closer to home._ I'd have to get over it, I supposed. But it still stung.

"I don't like what they did to Kasumi's room," I said. "I miss it being the way it was."

"Yes, it doesn't feel right in here without her, somehow," HK agreed. "That card table is very, uh… well, I don't think that she would really approve."

"Remember all of the paintings she had on the walls?" I asked, gesturing around. "And the roses, and the _books._ I loved the books."

"I noticed that they kept the bar," HK said.

"Yeah, I don't know why they didn't take that out," I said, shaking my head. "This is military property, after all. You can't just drink alcohol on government property. My dad just fired somebody for bringing beer into the compound."

The ship suddenly shifted underneath our feet, and our view began to move. "_Preparing departure,"_ Joker announced. He never did that on the Cerberus vessel. "_Disengaging docking clamp. Hope nobody left their valuables in the restroom this time… _Campbell."

Okay, maybe he wasn't completely Alliance-ized. He'd gotten too used to the freedom of a Cerberus vessel to care about regs… at least, while Shepard was in charge.

I looked at HK and made a face. "What's the bet that Shepard's not going to come talk to us about Palaven?"

"I don't know," HK said honestly. "She seemed… pretty strict when we left."

"We're making things harder for her," I said. "Let's reclaim our worth, shall we? EDI, you're listening, right?"

"As always, Abby."

I took a deep breath and looked at HK. He nodded. Together, we both began to talk about the state of affairs on Palaven.


	6. Chapter 6

"The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown."

**- H. P. Lovecraft**

* * *

><p>Her heart seized painfully in her chest – she was reaching for her sidearm before she even knew why. She didn't remember grabbing it, nor did she remember charging up a biotic barrier. She aimed the weapon at the shadows cast by the soft blue light of the empty aquarium, disturbed by the surreal darkness. She was panting, shaking, and covered in a cold sweat.<p>

It took her several long seconds for her system to calm down. There were no monsters lurking under the bed, no silent terrors pressed against the walls of the closet.

Shepard sat on the edge of the bed and buried her head in her hands, letting out a long, long sigh that did nothing to allay her sudden fear. Her biotic barrier slipped away. She'd never slept well to begin with, even as a child, but ever since Cerberus had gotten their hands on her body the insomnia had gotten worse. Chakwas had to resort to giving her prescription sleeping aids at one point.

Night terror. That was exactly it. She'd had a night terror. Overreacted, aimed a gun at the door… If there had been somebody she knew in the room with her (she thought of Jacob, then, with a twinge of regret) and knew that she probably would have shot him.

How old had that boy been? Six, seven?

So many deaths… and for what? Maybe Liara was right – maybe they were nothing more than little flies scurrying about in a panic before the final shoe came down…

So many people… And Kaidan. If he died now, Ashley's death would have been for nothing.

She couldn't think like that, even in the privacy of her own room.

She wiped her face with the palms of her hands, wondering if the sweat on her face intermingled with tears. She couldn't even tell. She just felt drained, mentally and physically. On one hand, she wanted to get up and shout, yell, kick, and throw a tantrum just like a toddler – on the other, she just wanted to sit there forever, unmoving, a statue of despair.

_Get a hold of yourself, soldier._

She took a shower, turning the water up as hot as it would go to forcibly loosen the tension in her shoulders. It was a quick shower, but it woke her up and soothed some of the unease. She dressed in there as well, wiped her hair out of her eyes, and looked at herself in the mirror. A very different person looked back.

Kaidan was right; he didn't know her anymore. She wasn't even sure that she did.

"EDI, what's the time?" she asked tiredly into the empty air.

"0200," she answered. "We will arrive at Palaven in another two hours. Are you well, Commander?"

"Just a bad dream," she muttered.

The turian's system wasn't far from Widow. She'd only been asleep for two hours, then. Despite the lateness of the hour on _Normandy_, the Citadel was probably still bright and sunny. She hated time zones with a burning, fiery passion.

The Primarch better be grateful. She wasn't in the right mind to put up with a lot of political BS.

And then there was the whole Abby-HK problem, and how she would deal with that. She didn't even know what to believe. There was always the risk of having some kind of unidentified variable in the plan, but she didn't feel as though she could deal with them now.

They'd died, it hurt, she'd moved on.

She hadn't even asked to be briefed about Palaven yet. She'd barely gotten briefed about Mars, and now Kaidan was breathing through a tube. There was no question of taking them with her. Once she got more downtime she'd sit them down and get what she needed. Part of her was hoping they were Cerberus synthetics, but she'd already asked EDI to check. They were flesh and blood.

Which meant that they could just as well be Cerberus traitors. Then she'd just be better off shooting them and throwing them out the airlock…

EDI told her earlier that the two of them, suspecting (correctly) that she wouldn't be by to visit them later, started walking her through the mission via proxy. EDI had arranged a text copy of their conversation and sent it to her omni-tool. It seemed pretty straightforward – it was the fighting that would hurt, though. And there was something else going on that worried her a little, but she'd already predicted that they would be tight-lipped about it.

Did she really want to get back into this again?

She left the bathroom and began to make her bed; she wasn't going back to sleep until Garrus was safely on the _Normandy_ along with Primarch Victus. Fedorian was going to be a lost cause by the time she got there. In fact, if she did her calculations now, he would be dead in an hour. She was arriving in two.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the soft door chime. She thought about grabbing the pistil again, and then cursed herself for the thought. The _Normandy_ was home.

She opened the door, revealing a strained, tired-looking Liara. "Liara," Shepard said. "Can I help you?"

"EDI told me that you were… up as well," Liara said vaguely. She didn't go inside, but instead leaned against the wall in a friendly manner. Asari didn't go into the room of a friend without permission. "I've been forwarding the turian councilor information on the Prothean device. It can't be built without Council support. But he's not budging until their Primarch is safe."

"I know," Shepard said. That wasn't new news. Considering their history, Shepard supposed she was lucky that the frustrating turian didn't write off the Reapers as a mass galactic hallucination.

"Are you alright?" Liara asked, stepping closer.

"I didn't get what you'd call a good night's rest," Shepard answered. She didn't need to elaborate for her.

"There's more to it than that, isn't there?" Liara asked, a steady, pensive look upon her face. "Will you talk to me?"

Shepard shrugged her shoulders, looking away. "It's just… when the Reapers hit, I could hear people screaming in the streets below me. We left a lot of them behind," she said. "A lot of people woke up that morning and expected to sleep in their own beds that night. A lot of… plans were cancelled."

"You can't save everybody," Liara said softly. "You're doing everything you can, and we will go back. You have to believe that. And Kaidan will recover, Shepard. This isn't your fault."

Liara was quickly becoming the rock that anchored Shepard's ship. She was no longer the bumbling archaeologist she'd met. She was keeping her calm, while Shepard felt like she was splitting apart at the seams.

It didn't make her feel better, but those words were enough to sew up some of the fractures.

"I hope you're right," Shepard said simply. "So why are you still up? Wasn't the base on Mars on the same time schedule as the _Normandy_?"

"I didn't get a good night's rest," Liara said, the corners of her mouth turning up sadly.

They were interrupted when the elevator door opened and a young, dark-skinned woman with distinctive almond eyes stepped out. "Commander Shepard," she said respectfully, hands held behind her back. "Oh. Uh, I beg your pardon, I thought you were alone."

Liara nodded. "I was just leaving," she said with a meaningful look at Shepard.

"Liara," Shepard interrupted, causing the asari to stop. "Grab Abby and HK – bring them up here. I don't care how late it is."

She paused. "Ah, of course, Shepard," she said, before walking into the elevator.

Shepard looked back at the woman, slipping back into her Commander persona and her Commander voice.

"Commander Shepard," the woman stated. She had a noticeable British accent. "I'm comm specialist Samantha Traynor, with Alliance R&D. I was part of the team retrofitting the _Normandy_ after you turned it over to the Alliance. There... weren't many of us on board when the Reapers hit."

She seemed almost worried, and Shepard instinctively wanted to calm her down. Kaidan used to call her 'scary.' She didn't want to go around running off the people supposed to help her in the long run. "Slow down, Specialist Traynor," she said with a smile. "You're doing fine," she said reassuringly.

"Thank you," Traynor said with a light smile. "I apologize for the late hour, but I didn't think that you would be sleeping right now. EDI… kind of confirmed it. I wanted to introduce myself."

"It's perfectly fine," Shepard said.

Traynor bit her lip. "By the way, Commander, before I say anything else... I had a question, if you don't mind. A question of protocol, if I may."

"Yes?" Shepard asked, though she had a feeling she could guess what it was about.

"I suppose the two guests you asked Dr. T'Soni to retrieve are the ones by the starboard observation deck?" Shepard nodded. "Joker has vouched for the girl as his co-pilot, but she hasn't been to the cockpit since she arrived and… well, ma'am, she is young. And she and the boy have been in the same room for hours. They don't seem to belong. Ma'am."

"They're not going to be a problem, if that's what you're asking, Specialist Traynor," she said. "I have them under control."

"Ah. I see. We were just wondering if you wanted us to take any action… or even how to treat them, Commander." She lowered her voice. "Um… I'm sorry, I really am, I just need to voice it, if it's okay."

"Certainly – I always keep an open door." Shepard gestured to the proverbial open door with a smile.

Traynor chuckled. "Okay." She let out a deep sigh, as if she were bracing herself. "The girl doesn't look military. She's dressed in civilian clothes. I don't feel as though Mr. Moreau is being honest with us, ma'am."

"He's not," Shepard said.

"Oh…"

"He's protecting her," Shepard explained. "No, Abby is not his co-pilot. She's not military. She's not even eighteen. As far as I'm aware, he said those things as a short-term solution. After we rescue Primarch Fedorian," even here she found herself lying "I'll call a general group meeting in the mess to explain what I can. If you're looking for protocol, they're crucial non-military personnel. Don't let them near anything sensitive and don't ask questions until I come to a decision about their place on the _Normandy_."

Traynor nodded eagerly. "Yes – yes of course, ma'am. Thank you."

Shepard walked into her quarters, Traynor following close behind. Shepard flicked on the light. No, no monsters under the bed. "Tell me about the retrofits you mentioned."

"Well, the ship's in line with Alliance regs now," Traynor said. As opposed to the bar downstairs, Shepard thought. "And it has new top-of-the-line quantum entanglement communicators. In fact, Admiral Anderson had plans for making this his mobile command center."

They stopped in front of the empty fish tank and Traynor began to look around curiously. "That's no longer an option," Shepard stated.

"Yes," she said uneasily. "I heard he chose to stay and fight… but nonetheless, I'm honored to serve under you, Commander Shepard. For as long as you need me, that is… they only sent me along to oversee the retrofits."

"Shepard," EDI said, "some of our systems require further testing. Specialist Traynor has been very effective during installation. I would prefer that she remain."

"Got it, EDI," Shepard said.

"Since when does a VI have preference?" Traynor asked, staring up at the ceiling.

_Oh here we go. _"EDI's an AI. Fully self-aware."

Traynor seemed to light up. "Oh, I knew it! I knew Joker was lying!"

"Jeff requested that I pretend to be a simple AI in order to protect myself," EDI stated. "I apologize for the deception."

Traynor actually smiled. "Thanks, EDI. And… I apologize for talking about how… attractive your voice was."

_Moving on…_

"Anyway," Traynor said quickly, pulling out a datapad, "shall I show you the upgrades?"

She took her through them one by one, though Shepard had a feeling this was more of an introductory exercise than anything. She'd already seen everything she needed to see, including the War Room. As Traynor finished, she said, "By the way, Admiral Hackett would like to see you in the War Room."

"Thanks. Dismissed."

Traynor left, and Shepard shook her head. "EDI," she said. "When Liara gets up here, tell her to wait with the kids here. I'll be back shortly."

* * *

><p><strong>(Sarah)<strong>

I was running through a forest... only it wasn't exactly a forest. Somehow it seemed to be a combination of a forest and a barren wasteland, if there could be such a thing. I was surrounded by trees in all directions, and yet the ground was nothing but rock and dust. There was no sign of grass, flowers, or any other kind of plant life except for the trees.

And there was something very odd and creepy about the trees. They seemed to be dead and leafless... yet their bark looked healthy. They just seemed to be hibernating, like trees that had shed all of their leaves and gone to sleep for the Winter. Yet I saw no evidence of leaves on the ground, either.

I wasn't sure where I was going or what I was doing. I heard a sound far off, and when I turned I saw what looked like tall wisps of smoke sticking up from the ground. It didn't look like anything was burning... it looked more like an illusion, or kind of fog-like.

I began to wonder if I was dreaming or something... which was the first odd thing about this, because I never wondered if I was dreaming during my dreams. Though I knew that Abby, HK and I had had some strange dreams the last time we had been in the Mass Effect universe.

And why did this one seem so familiar? It was... similar to the dream that Shepard had, yes?

I shuddered slightly as I began to hear whispers in my mind... a reminder of the things I still regretted.

I thought I saw a ghostly figure pass by, as if it was Kasumi with her cloaking device engaged. I heard her voice speaking to me like a distant whisper, "Your choice. In doing this, you have to realize that you are choosing death over life."

I groaned slightly. What did she mean by that? That was the same thing she'd said a long time ago, when I pulled that stupid stunt on Tuchanka. I wanted to ask her what she meant... but I could tell she was already gone.

Of course she was gone... she was never there to begin with. Kasumi wasn't anywhere nearby. I couldn't talk to her.

"...Sarah... stay with me..."

Again, a faint whisper of Kasumi's voice. I could then hear echoes of Garrus's voice, snippets of conversations with Abby and HK, and I could even hear Shepard's voice.

Then I felt something poke me in the back of the ankle. I turned to see what it was, and then I nearly had a heart-attack when I realized it was that husk-spider. The same one that had killed me before. It hissed at me, and then it turned and ran off in another direction.

Once I calmed myself, I took a few tentative steps forward. Where was it going in such a hurry? When I realized that it wasn't coming back for me, I took a deep breath and I jogged after it.

I had to pass through more of the inky wisps of smoke, or whatever they were, in order to follow it. I didn't inhale anything, but they did make me feel sick as I passed through them. My stomach lurched and I felt a headache coming on.

Finally I saw the husk-spider again. It was standing on a fallen log, all of its legs rigid with alertness. It slowly turned to regard me, then it looked away.

That was when I saw something rise up from behind the log; the thing which had the vile creature's attention. It was a fully formed human husk... a husk with MY face.

It was me. The husk that I had turned into... the form that I'd fought Harbinger over.

The spider hissed shrilly and the husk that was me locked eyes with the real me. We stared at each other for a long moment. And then the me-husk roared and reached out, grabbing me by the throat.

I shrieked as I awoke, clutching at my throat and sitting up. The scar throbbed almost to the point of burning, as if it were a freshly healed wound. I panted for a few moments, and it took me a moment to remember where I was.

I felt something gripping my hand firmly, even giving it a little tug as if to get my attention. I stared at Irren with widened eyes. He was sitting on a metal crate next to my cot, obviously using it as a makeshift chair. It took me a moment to realize that he had said my name.

I inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. This allowed me to slow my breathing, although it did nothing to slow my pulse or my racing heartbeat. "H-huh?" I rasped. My mouth was almost completely dry; I couldn't even swallow.

"Sarah," Irren said. He still sounded neutral, but did sound slightly concerned. "Are you alright? We just received some news."

I tightened my grip on his hand, as if somehow it was helping me cling to reality-or return to reality. "Um, news?" I was still trying to clear the cobwebs out of my brain.

"It's not good. The Primarch was killed," Irren said soberly. It sounded like it had hit him hard, or at least quite a bit; like he said, it wasn't good news for any turian. At least not any turian soldier.

Primarch. Dead. Oh, yeah...

I let go of Irren's hand and swung my legs over the edge of the cot, sitting up. I inhaled deeply once again and ran a hand through my hair. Then I actually managed to summon up enough moisture in my mouth to swallow; it helped get rid of the dry feeling a bit.

"So... my prediction came true in spite of the warning," I sighed. Abby and HK probably would be upset if they knew I'd done that. What would they say in this case? That it was a good thing that nothing had changed, or that it was still too bad?

It really did make me wonder something though. Was it possible that it was... okay to talk about the future? That maybe it wouldn't change anything in the end anyway? I had to admit, part of me was tempted to just go running to Garrus and dump all of my secrets onto him and let him deal with it. Then I wouldn't have to anymore.

I sighed. No... I couldn't betray HK or Abby, assuming that they were around somewhere. At least, not yet.

"I don't know what to think of you, or some of the rumors going around after the incident with Neyrata," Irren said. That was news to me; rumors? Though maybe I shouldn't be surprised. "But whatever you told Garrus, I think he took it to heart. Word was that General Corinthus tried to send Primarch Fedorian out on a different shuttle, and a different route, than he was originally planned to leave on... he almost made it, but the Reapers shot his shuttle down."

"Well... at least you guys tried," I murmured. "Oh," I said upon realization, "this means that Shepard is coming soon." I looked straight at Irren. "This means that the communication tower is down, right? Shepard and her crew will need to fix that to figure out who the next Primarch is."

Eh, who was I kidding? I knew who it was going to be. But of course, the high command had to confirm it first. So right now my information was useless.

"...yes, the communication tower is down. It's making things very hard. I don't even know if anyone has said anything about the next Primarch," Irren replied, sighing. "Things are getting messy. The Reapers have stepped up their attack in the past few hours, and we thought it was heavy before. Garrus left a little while ago to fight off some forces at another camp."

"Yeah... he'll be okay," I commented. "He'll be back." I sighed and stood up, stretching my aching legs. That had been one tense dream... and it felt like I had been asleep for hours. Even if that wasn't a very restful sleep, thanks to that dream.

"Got any water?" I asked quietly. That was about the only consumable thing that I could ask for in this place, since I was human.

"Yeah," Irren said, grabbing a bottle from a storage compartment. He handed it to me, and then crossed his arms. "You never answered my question: Are you alright? You seem shaken up."

I didn't answer right away. I took the cap off and tipped my head back as I took a long drink from the bottle. It seemed like I finished half of it in a single gulp... although I'm sure it took more swallows than that to drain it halfway.

Finally I put the cap back on and then wiped my mouth on my sleeve, not caring how un-ladylike that was. It also served as an unpleasant reminder that I hadn't showered or changed clothes for days. I hadn't eaten anything, either, since there was no human food here.

But at least Shepard would be here soon.

"I'm fine." I blurted that out so quickly that even I didn't sound convincing to me.

"If you insist," Irren said with a shrug, not pressing the subject much. He was only assigned to guard me, so as long as I seemed fine, it probably didn't matter to him much.

"Yeah, just ducky," I commented. "The Reapers are starting to mess with my head, is all." I then yanked the cap off and downed the rest of the contents from the bottle. I drank it so quickly my stomach almost protested, yet since I hadn't eaten it seemed to greedily accept whatever I offered to put into it.

He cast me another suspicious glance. "Vakarian won't like it much if you get indoctrinated on my watch," he commented.

"I won't like it much, either." I sprawled myself out over the cot once again, tucking the empty bottle under my arm. "I had a mental... or spiritual... or something fight with a Reaper once, you know," I said, starting to babble a little. I didn't care; I still felt dazed. And just talking about anything helped me ignore the gnawing hunger in my gut.

I wasn't sure when I'd be able to eat, but since I'd told Garrus that Shepard would be here soon, he didn't seem overly concerned about that. After all, when the human commander arrived, I'd be able to eat human food, right? Plus everybody was too busy with Reapers and husks to care too much about whether or not one lonely human was properly nourished... right?

So I just kept babbling. "His name was Harbinger... and he wanted information. He was... very mean to me and my friends."

"I'm surprised you won; looking at those husks, it seems like many don't," Irren commented. "Is that why you had that... well, whatever you'd like to call it, and Garrus had to hit you?"

"I don't know," I said, giving into my babbling mode again. I just sort of stared off into the distance as my lips continued to move. "For a while I thought I was becoming a husk Grey Warden or something... not that you'd know what that is. I just... read too much of that Dragon Age novel before coming here I guess... it's a fantasy world, with many races. Instead of Reapers, they have arch demons that try to destroy the world. Instead of husks, they have darkspawn. And... the only people who can fight darkspawn are Grey Wardens... who drink a mix of arch demon and darkspawn blood... and become immune to the taint. Otherwise... when people get infected with the taint... they become mindless husks, or darkspawn..."

I looked at him thoughtfully. "You don't suppose there could be anybody who could... develop immunity to Reaper indoctrination, do you?" I asked.

Ugh, I was probably sounding like an idiot. This was NOT Dragon Age. And we weren't dealing with some kind of ancient curse that was the form of a disease. We were dealing with technology and their brainwashing methods. Very, very different.

"I'm no Reaper expert. Barely knew they existed until...well, now, but if I had to guess, I'd say know. Look at Saren Arterius; one of the most respected turians, and probably one of the most powerful in the galaxy. He was a Spectre, and he was indoctrinated by that Reaper a few years ago and attacked the Citadel. They have a lot of power," Irren said. "But then again, anything's possible."

"Yeah... I suppose." I got up from the cot in an abrupt manner. "So um..." I shrugged. "Tell me about yourself," I said hesitantly. I was just sick and tired of talking about Reapers and indoctrination. I was sure that Shepard, or somebody, was going to quiz me about it later on. I'd be hearing plenty about Reapers in the near future; I just wanted to focus on something simple... and down to earth, as it were.

Irren cast me a curious glance. "I suppose we need something to kill time, not like we're doing much else here," he said. "What do you want to know?"

"Hmmm..." What did I want to know? And why was I so curious, really? Well, then again... this was a turian who I would have to get to know the old fashioned way. I didn't have the benefit of knowing all about his background like I did Garrus.

"Do you have a girlfriend?" Okay, why did I have to start with that question?

Irren shook his head. "No... I've had a few casual, very casual relationships that didn't last long. Not really skilled in that department; I'm more used to shooting things," he replied with a shrug.

I opened my mouth, and then I quickly closed it again. Okay, there were certain questions that I was not going to ask because they were too personal... even if I was a little curious. I had to stop and remind myself that this was reality, not some stupid fanfic being written for fun.

"What do you like doing in your free time?" I asked instead. "Any favorite hobbies?"

"Well, a lot of turians like to...blow off steam in sparring matches. If you've known Vakarian for a while, you may have heard him talk about it. However, that's not really what I like to do. I always thought that was...a little stupid," Irren answered. "My hobbies are a little different than a lot of turians."

I felt a little intrigued. "So what do you like to do?" I asked. "Listen to music, or watch movies?" My curiosity was definitely piqued now.

"I'm into some of the more...old-fashioned things, things that most soldiers would find annoying. I like a lot of...classic literature. Half of the time, I don't understand it, but I like it," Irren replied, actually chuckling slightly. "I remember being embarrassingly excited when the elcor version of 'Hamlet' came out. I got a lot of flak for that."

I stared at him for a moment, and I had to suppress a giggle. "Um... have you ever seen the elcor version of Twilight?" I asked.

"I said_ classic _literature," he simply answered.

"Point taken," I said with an involuntary laugh. This was the future, but... there was probably some remote group or something out there that considered Twilight an old classic. I didn't care one way or another; I used to be really into it, but now I found it pretty boring.

"Well um..." I shrugged again. "Maybe if we get out of this alive, we could go see the elcor version of Hamlet together sometime? I've always been curious about it." Okay, I wasn't all that curious, really. But hey, if it meant hanging out with somebody I liked, I could convince myself that I liked almost anything.

...That was how I started liking Twilight, after all.

"Maybe, if our paths cross again," Irren said with a shrug.

"Oh, yeah," I said as I sank back down onto the cot. In all likelihood, I would be leaving Palaven's moon once Shepard arrived, and she was coming soon. I didn't have any reason to stay, and Irren had every reason to stay and fight. He'd probably get himself killed eventually, and I would never see him again.

Then again, a lot of people were going to die before all of this was over. It was stupid to focus so much on one turian I barely knew.

"Tell me about you. I have to say, I am a little curious; you're just one human that used to serve with Vakarian, but apparently you're high priority. You have to be put under watch, and you even know Commander Shepard," Irren remarked. "I know I don't need to know everything, but what's the story with you?"

"Well," I began slowly, "I just kind of ended up on her crew, when she was going to stop the Collectors. You could say that me and two of my best friends were... a last-minute addition to her crew. Anyway, um..."

I paused for a moment, trying to figure out how to say it delicately. "I suppose you could say I was the black sheep of the _Normandy_," I said with a dry chuckle.

"Any reason?"

"I don't know," I sighed. "I guess I was just terrified. And well..." I hesitated, but then I decided I might as well tell him more. What harm could it do? Somehow it felt like it would be less awkward coming from me than if he found out from somebody else... like maybe Garrus.

"I did a lot of stupid things while I was on that ship," I admitted to him. I wasn't looking at him now; I was just sort of staring straight ahead. "Let's see... I think I managed to piss off just about everybody on the ship, I was involved in one or two brawls on Tuchanka, I pointed a gun at a friend, and... oh yeah, I also asked a friend to sneak up on Garrus and take pictures of him in the shower... and doing other things." I still didn't look at Irren as I finished my ramble. I really didn't want to see the look on his face.

"That's quite a list," Irren remarked with a laugh. "But not surprising. I could figure some of that out from his remarks. We all have our moments."

Now I looked at him. "So... you don't think I'm some lunatic or sicko or something?" I asked him. I was just curious about what he thought of all that.

"No," Irren simply answered. "Like I said, we all have our moments. Growing pains. Yours just may have been a little more extreme, but in the end, my same point remains."

"Yeah, growing pains," I said, and I chuckled in spite of myself. "You know... I've always felt different, like... I don't really fit in with any society, really. I've... well, I'm sure you don't want to hear me complain about this," I said with a dismissive gesture. I knew that I had ranted and raved about my personal problems to the point where I'd pushed friends away and nearly driven others-like HK and Abby-insane. So I was a little more reluctant to talk about them with friendly strangers.

Besides, I'd learned to cope with them for the most part anyway.

"You're right, I don't," Irren agreed. "We all have our issues, our differences...in the end, if we focus too much on them, it just limits us."

I leaned back a little on the cot and crossed my legs, folding my hands on my lap. "Maybe I like to dwell and focus on my issues," I admitted. "I like to stew in my own negative emotions... even if it has disastrous results." I looked at him and shrugged. "Everybody has a self-destructive hobby, I'm sure."

"True, but don't give into it. There's a war on it...now's the time to put those aside; if we let those disastrous results happen, we're just letting the Reapers win," Irren said. "I'm no wise sage or anything, don't get me wrong. I've just picked up one or two things over the years."

"I think what I do with my own thoughts and feelings is ultimately my decision," I stated. I just didn't like it when it felt like other people were trying to tell me what I could or couldn't feel, or tell me what to do with my feelings. Even if they were right. "Maybe my feelings are the only thing I have control over, the only things that are truly dependable. If I keep feeling the same way, there's some... predictability in all of this madness. I can't control other people, and I can't make anybody go against their natures or change their personalities. So... I can just sit here and stew if I want to."

For emphasis I folded my arms stubbornly and stuck out my chin in a defiant manner.

"Hey, to each their own. I'm just supposed to protect you, not play therapist," Irren said with a shrug. "Not what I'm here for."

"Good then." I said with a nod. "But... you're not bad at playing therapist... I guess I just don't want to be fixed. I just want people to understand me."

"Join the club on that one," Irren said, almost chuckling. "That's probably something that almost everyone in the galaxy wants."

"I think you'd need telepathy to get that," I commented. "Then again, that would probably just cause more wars than it's worth, because... well, some thoughts and secrets really should be kept quiet."

"Some things are best left in the dark," the turian concurred, not saying any more.

I looked up at him again from where I sat. I studied his features, ones that were similar to Garrus yet different in their own way; his skin was a shade or two darker than Garrus's. He wore black armor and he had a couple of weapons; a large rifle within reach on his back, and a large pistol in his hand.

I continued to gaze him sadly, feeling a frown form on my face.

"Something wrong?" he asked.

I glanced away. "I think we should just stop talking now," I said. "If we keep talking like this... I might... I don't know, start getting attached to you or something. And we already know I won't be here much longer... and well, who knows if we'll even be alive when all this is over." Once again I saw Neyrata's brutal death replay itself through my mind. I grimaced and tried to block out the memory.

"It's up to you. Talk or not talk, I don't mind either way," Irren stated. "Your decision."

"Then let's just stop talking. We're not friends, and... we don't know each other," I proclaimed half-heartedly. "We're just... waiting for Shepard. That's all." I deliberately turned away from him, facing the other direction.

I thought I heard a snort. "Alright then," Irren commented, seeming very neutral either way.

I wrapped my arms around my mid-section comfortingly. Why did it feel like my heart just sank into my shoes?

* * *

><p><strong>(HK)<strong>

Abby and I had discussed the basics of the Palaven mission, assuming, and almost hoping, that EDI would be listening and report them to Shepard if she didn't decide to come back down and see us. It was very, very comforting to be back with Abby. It was funny to think that the last time I had actually seen her in person was before I got captured... I only met her face-to-face in this universe, anyway. It was still something weird to think about.

Nonetheless, I was glad to be around her again. Going through this with someone else, even if it was just one person, was better than running around the Citadel alone and confused. Neither of us really knew what was going on, and we couldn't talk about it much, either. We didn't want to open our mouths too much and have Shepard hear something that she shouldn't. It was still hard to adjust to talking...well, like we did here, again.

There was so much going through my head right now. Being back on the _Normandy_ so suddenly like this...I was still trying to deal with it. And where was Sarah? If Abby and I were both here, there was little doubt in my mind that Sarah was not out there, somewhere. Was she alright? Or was she caught in the middle of a Reaper invasion? Hopefully she was somewhere where Shepard would encounter her, kind of like Abby and I were. That was the only pattern I could make out of any of this.

Sarah was a good woman, and one that was very near to my heart. She got herself into quite a bit of trouble during our last journey on the _Normandy_, and I would have lied if I said that it didn't cause me to get frustrated a few times, but the fact was, I understood her, and I could only hope that she was alright. She was more mature now than she was back then, but...her being out there was still a scary thought. I could only pray to God that she'd be alright. That was all I could do.

And then there was the rest of the game. What about the future events? Was everything going to transpire like it did in the actual game, like it _mostly_ did last time, or were we in for a few more surprises? Would Shepard even let us stick around long enough to find out?

I felt for Shepard, I really did. I understood her position, and hated that we had to do this to her. Again. Especially now, when the whole fate of the galaxy rested on her.

Or maybe it rested on us now. That was an even worse thought.

Not to mention, on a more...personal note, as if all of this wasn't personal enough already, there was Jack. Would we end up seeing her? How would I handle that? Obviously, I had bigger things to focus on, but that had passed my mind a few times since...re-appearing. Last time we saw each other, I died in her arms.

Well, I could focus on that later. I had a lot more to deal with at the moment.

While Abby and I continued to talk, Liara came to see us; she told us that Shepard wanted to see us up in her quarters once she'd taken care of a few things, and I knew that she needed to talk to Hackett and Traynor sometime. She probably just finished with Liara.

Silently, all three of us went. On the way out, I couldn't help but notice something that had escaped me when James first brought me down here: The memorial wall. More specifically, whose names were on it. All the typical names from the game, but...I also saw three more names engraved on it.

_Our _three names. Abby, Sarah, and HK. No last names or anything...they were just there, near the bottom. It made me feel another twinge of guilt for how all of this was affecting the Commander.

I gave Abby a meaningful look as we passed it. Her lips pursed guiltily. "I feel bad for being alive," she muttered.

The ride up to Shepard's quarters was a very quiet one. Not that it was that long, but I quickly noticed the thickening silence. Abby and I didn't really say anything to each other, not with Liara present, and she didn't make much talk either. I didn't expect her to, but it almost disappointed me. I loved her in the games, and would like to know her better, but that may be hard, given what people may think of us.

Soon, we arrived inside the Captain's quarters, and EDI told Liara that Shepard wanted her to wait here with us while she spoke with Admiral Hackett. Liara simply said that she would, and while we all walked in, I took an up-close view of the improvements the Alliance had made. Shepard's room was awesome, to say the least. I thought it was amazing last time, but this...this was even better.

We all sat down, and the silence continued. Liara seemed to just keep her eye on us, but not really say much. Again, I could imagine why she was hesitant.

"So, Liara," I said after a few minutes, finally deciding to break the silence. I knew that either Abby or I would've done it sooner or later. She wasn't one to just let it go on much, either. "Uhh, how much do you know about us?"

The blue-skinned asari turned to regard each of us silently for a moment. "I know that both of you can somehow see the future," she finally replied. "I also know that you just turned eighteen, HK-or should I call you DJ? And Abby is sixteen." She cocked her head to one side in a thoughtful manner. "Both of you are still very young, even by human standards. And I also know that you both died, along with Sarah the third member of your... group.

"And," she went on, "I also know that somehow you both have managed to show up in just the right place at the right time to encounter Shepard. While that is not as strange as the way you simply appeared on the _Normandy_ for the first time, it's still a very odd coincidence. And I still don't know how you manage to do this in such a way that slips my information nets."

"We kinda have that effect," Abby said with an almost sheepish smile, glancing at me. I nodded in agreement. "But hey, you know our birthdays. That's something."

"Actually I only know your birthday, Abby, because you mentioned it on the _Normandy_ a bit ago," Liara clarified. "I don't know HK's birthday. But, that is not an important fact. What I'd really like to know is how you both get your information, and how you have returned from the dead. And somehow... your resurrection has escaped my agents and my data feeds." She seemed very perplexed by this, even mildly frustrated.

"We wish we knew that ourselves," I admitted, glancing at Abby this time. I looked back at the asari. "Sorry, Liara...you'll come to find out that there are a lot of questions that we can't answer, as much as we may not like it. I'm not sure how we're back, or how we even get our...visions."

Liara folded her arms across her chest. "You do realize that any information you have would be invaluable right now," she stated. "If you could simply tell us what you know about the crucible and what the Catalyst is-and how it works-you could help us complete it faster, and end this war that much sooner."

"I know," I said. I had a feeling that would be brought up a lot. We had a whole new crew, and even a somewhat new ground squad, on our hands. "But...Liara, of all people, you would understand. We have no idea the consequences that could have. Even the hands that it could fall into."

"I can see your point," Liara consented, "but surely you do not think anyone on this ship is the 'wrong hands'? Do you even distrust Shepard to the point of withholding this information?" She seemed mildly angered by that notion.

"It's not anyone on this ship. Everyone on this ship is trustworthy, especially people like Shepard, and you," I told her, wanting to reassure her of that. I understood her possible anger at that.

"It's other people...people outside the _Normandy_. It's very dangerous to take the chance," Abby finished. Again, I nodded in agreement.

"There are certain people that are allies now that won't be later," I hinted vaguely, thinking of Udina briefly. "If Shepard told them...well, it could be bad."

"Then I think it would be important to tell me-or Shepard-who these potential traitors are," Liara stated firmly. "Especially if they become indoctrinated, or they are secretly working for Cerberus." No doubt she was thinking of Eva. "Unless you believe I am going to become indoctrinated... in which case you should tell me so that I can take steps to prevent it."

"You're not going to get indoctrinated," I told her with a smile. "At least not in our visions...and well, I understand your requests...we just need to think about this. All of this isn't easy for us. We didn't expect this, as crazy as that sounds. This is hard on everyone here."

Liara looked as though she wanted to press the issue, but then the door opened and Shepard entered. This time she was fully dressed in her armor and she had her weapons on her. She looked like a woman on a mission.

"Thanks for bringing them here, Liara," Shepard said, even though she kept her eyes on me and Abby.

The asari woman nodded a little. "I hope they will be more... forthcoming with you than they were with me," she commented. She sounded a bit slighted, as if she'd failed at a personal task.

"Get suited up," Shepard said. "I'm taking you and James with me when we head out."

"Yes, Shepard." With that, the asari was gone.

The commander then turned her full attention back to us-although her eyes never left us anyway. "So," she said, "is there anything you'd like to tell me about this mission to Palaven, or do you want to play twenty questions?" Her tone made it impossible to tell if she was being sarcastic or trying to tell a joke.

"Well," I said, hesitating slightly. The sarcasm, or joke, or seriousness...still stung me more than I wanted to admit to myself, or anyone else. "Did EDI tell you what we were talking about downstairs?"

Shepard nodded, but then she activated her omni-tool. "Yes, she did... but I found one thing to be a little strange." She looked at the holographic readout for a moment, as if double-checking something. Then she narrowed her eyes at us. "EDI apparently modified the recording," she said. "She edited out something that you and Abby mentioned, claiming that it was 'irrelevant'. When I tried to access the full recording, I found out that the original no longer existed, only the modified version."

She sighed and shut off her omni-tool. "EDI won't say anything, and now I feel like I can't trust my own ship now that you both are onboard. And since EDI is being tight-lipped... care to tell me what it is she doesn't want me to know?"

Right at that moment, EDI herself spoke up to defend herself. "I simply do not wish you to concern yourself with this, Commander Shepard," she said. "It is... a personal project that I need to finish testing out."

"What kind of 'personal project', EDI?" Shepard demanded. "What aren't you three telling me?"

"It will not interfere directly with my duties, Commander Shepard," EDI replied.

Oh dear. Now we were getting caught between EDI and Shepard...this was not good. This was one of the things that I felt like we could actually tell Shepard, since it was so close. I looked at my friend for guidance. "Abby?"

She looked conflicted as well. "EDI, it'll be fine," she finally said after a moment. "And Commander, seriously, don't worry about it. It's for her."

"Abby, HK, all of us have consistently respected your wishes to keep most of your information private. During our fight to stop the Collectors, after a period of time had passed, Shepard felt it was no longer necessary for me to submit reports on your discussions amongst yourselves. So I did not. Even now, we are trying to respect your wishes to stay silent on certain matters. I simply request that you return the favor, to put it into human terms," EDI stated.

I tensed. That was... a good point. I didn't want to be a hypocrite.

Shepard did not look overly happy, but she seemed to be considering everything that was being said. "As long as this is not the same kind of 'it will be fine' as when Kaidan received a near-fatal head injury," she said pointedly. Apparently she was not ready to let that go yet.

"It won't," Abby said firmly. That was probably the most firm she'd sounded since I'd seen her again. I imagined that still weighed on her, too, and I felt bad about that. "It'll be good for the entire team, Commander, and good for EDI. I _promise_."

"All right," Shepard finally said with a sigh. "I'll give the three of you a chance to show me it will be fine."

"Thank you, Commander," EDI said. "And I need to inform you that we are about to arrive at Palaven. You may wish to get to the cockpit."

"I guess that means our little meeting is over," Shepard remarked. She looked at both of us. "I am going to take you both back to the room you were in before-Kasumi's former quarters," she said. "After that, I'm leaving. I want both of you to stay there until I return."

"Stay safe, Commander...it'll be nothing too complicated, but keep on your toes," I told her, as both Abby and I stood.

"Yeah. Fix the comm tower, meet up with Garrus, fight through some husks, save the new Primarch...you'll meet a few new type of husks, one big one, but it's nothing too bad. You guys can handle it," Abby inserted.

"And thank you," I said honestly. "For... giving us a chance. Another chance."


	7. Chapter 7

**(Sarah)**

Things were getting very bad, very fast. It seemed as though the attacks on the camp were increasing, and I was getting tired of hearing the dull roars of husks and the thunderous bellows of Brutes.

Not to mention that I kept hearing them inside my head every time they got too close. It still felt as though I had an instinctual understanding of them... and possibly a weak mental link to the Reapers. It wasn't a pleasant feeling.

I'd have to ask Abby her opinion on the "husk Grey Warden" theory I had when I saw her..._ if_ I saw her again. She might just say the Reapers were messing with my head, or maybe there was something to do it, I don't know. I just knew that she would be the better one to ask because, well, HK hadn't played Dragon Age. He told me that he owned the game but hadn't played it yet. I really hoped he would someday; it was something I still pestered him about from time to time.

Then again, maybe he shouldn't play it. If he did play it and then the three of us ended up on Thedas in the middle of the Blight in Dragon Age... that would suck. I had no desire to become a blood sacrifice or get eaten by darkspawn.

Then again maybe we could use an Archdemon and some darkspawn here now, if it would help keep these damn husks at bay. Now that was an interesting, if scary, thought...

I sighed and shook my head at myself. I was exhausted, hungry, and I had been sitting for way too long. I just really hoped that Shepard would be here soon. Maybe she could help me, and maybe she would even know where HK and Abby were.

A movement out of the corner of my eye caught my attention. I thought that they were just more turian soldiers moving about; I had seen plenty of them over the past few days, after all. But there was something different about their armor... and I noticed a distinct "N7" symbol on the armor of the person leading the small group of three.

I stood up so quickly that Irren instinctively grabbed his rifle and looked alert. He had been keeping an eye out all along and sticking with me, but we had not spoken since our... agreement. "What is it, Sarah?" he asked me, perplexed by my sudden movement.

"Shepard!" I yelled, ignoring my turian bodyguard. It looked as though the Commander was looking around, probably trying to find the one in charge of the camp. "Commander Shepard!" I shouted again. I saw her head turn in my direction, and then her eyes locked onto me like a beacon. Behind her, James and Liara looked curious and puzzled.

I ran straight toward Shepard, barely noticing that Irren was following me, keeping tabs on his assignment. Before I could stop myself I grabbed Shepard and put my arms around her in an awkward hug. It wasn't easy to hug someone wearing armor, but I managed.

It did cross my mind that that might have been a stupid thing to do, running up and touching a well-armed person in the middle of a battle zone without properly announcing myself, but I just didn't care at the moment. I was just happy to finally see the person I knew would show up eventually.

Shepard's armored hand patted my back awkwardly, gripping her assault rifle in a clumsy one-handed grip with the other hand. I had to be careful not to touch any of the other weaponry attached to her back or hips - the last thing I needed right now was to accidentally set off the shotgun and blow Liara's brains out.

"And then there were three," I thought I heard her mutter. "I was wondering when we'd run into you." I felt her move, positioning herself to face somebody else. "Soldier, where is the Commanding Officer?"

"Main command post, the one with the flags if you can't see it from here," I heard Irren say.

"Good." And then Shepard was focused on me. She pushed me away from her - gently, not forcibly - and tilted my head to look up at her. Her eyes observed the scar on my throat, but she made no mention of it. "I suppose you just 'popped in' here, too?" she asked, a little bitingly.

I blinked a little at the slight sharpness in her tone. I suppose I was a little stung by it. "Yeah um, you could say that," I said hesitantly. I raised my hand in mid-air, but then I dropped my arm. I was going to move the Commander's hand away from my chin, but I figured it was better to cooperate fully with her for the moment, even if being touched like that was an uncomfortable reminder of when Mordin examined me after I drank ryncol.

Well, at least Kelly wouldn't be onboard the _Normandy_ this time... then again, Traynor was a full lesbian. I wasn't sure if that was better or worse. Samantha probably wouldn't make any comments about me liking Abby, but she might also think I was hot for all I knew.

"Commander, something weird is going on," I said. "I swear I hear husks in my head, and... I faintly hear Reapers sometimes. Garrus had to punch me to get them out of my head one time." I indicated the bruise on the side of my face.

There was also the bump on the back of my head from where Neyrata attacked me, but I wasn't going to mention that... yet.

Shepard frowned. "Explain 'hear.' What exactly are you hearing?"

"Well, it's sort of like what Grey Wardens 'hear', I think," I began, and then I quickly remembered that she wouldn't know what they were. "I mean, well... it's like... I can tell when husks are nearby, and... I can understand them and their intent. They don't have any real thoughts like we do, but I get the general impression of where they're headed or what they're trying to do. And if I really focus, I can sort of hear the Reapers... I think."

I frowned. I felt like a babbling idiot, and I wasn't even sure if I was saying all of that accurately. Sometimes I had a hard time translating what I felt into words.

"Uh, that ain't good," James said, taking a step back.

"What are the Reapers saying?" Shepard asked.

"I can't really hear them right now," I supplied with a little shrug. "But they did get kind of loud a few days ago. They... wanted to know what I knew, and how we might defeat them." Once again, that thought started to scare me.

"Shepard... what if the Reapers might try to capture me, or Abby and HK? Or what if anybody else tries to capture us and pump us for information, like Cerberus or anybody else who gets desperate?" I still didn't mention Neyrata, but I figured that incident could merely be the tip of the iceberg.

Before Shepard could say anything, I blurted out one final question. "Oh hey, have you seen HK or Abby?"

"They're on the ship, under guard," Shepard said. The way she said that made me think that perhaps the relationship between us wouldn't be as good as I'd first assumed. "Before we even get to that stuff, I need to know how you got here. That's _important_."

My stomach growled almost venomously. "Um, before I say anything Commander... do you have anything to eat?" I asked, almost pleadingly. "I haven't eaten anything since I got here. Turian food isn't any good for me, you know... almost as bad as ryncol." I made a forced little chuckle, trying to make it sound like a joke. I don't think it came out that way.

Behind me, Irren cleared his throat. I'd almost forgotten he was there. "She was found wandering around on this moon," he spoke up. "From what she told us, we gathered that she came here to see Garrus Vakarian, claiming that she had information on the Reapers. In turn, Vakarian put her under my protection," he explained, stepping just a little closer.

"Oh yeah," I said, "that's Irren. He's my friend-bodyguard." Why did I say 'friend'? Didn't we agree that it wasn't a good idea to form any kind of attachment?

"Is Vakarian close by?" Shepard asked Irren.

"General Victus's men were having a problem - he left to take care of it maybe half a day ago." Irren cleared his throat. "But before he left, he had General Corinthus put Primarch Fedorian on another transport to a safer place."

"And Fedorian?"

"Didn't make it. His shuttle was shot down about an hour ago offworld. Ma'am."

"I'm sorry for your loss," Shepard said. She looked at me, her expression unfathomable. What was she thinking? "Soldier, escort me and my group to General Corinthus. Sarah, you're with us."

I glanced at Irren again. Maybe this really was for the best, especially since... I'd probably never see him again after this anyway. And my place was with Shepard, and then back with HK and Abby... right?

On impulse, I grabbed Irren's hand and gave it a squeeze, then-since he was taller than me-I gently grabbed the edge of one of his mandibles and tipped his head closer to mine. I gave him a little peck on the check-or whatever it was that turians had. I wasn't sure why I did that; maybe the stress and the gnawing of my empty stomach were getting to me.

"Thanks for saving me," I blurted quickly, and then I pushed away from him and moved up beside Shepard, staring down at my shoes.

"That gives me the oogies," I heard James mutter.

I couldn't look up to see what Irren's reaction was. "Follow me," he said. There was no noticeable change in his voice.

As we started to walk, I reached out and grabbed Shepard's free hand, not caring how silly that gesture was. I gripped the armored hand tightly with my long fingers. "If it means anything," I said to her, "I warned them that the Primarch was going to die, but it still happened anyway."

"I gathered that," Shepard said, giving my hand a reassuring grip before letting go. That was probably as compassionate she was going to be towards me today.

Irren brought us to General Corinthus. I wasn't very good at telling age among different aliens, but Corinthus seemed _old._ A lot older than Garrus or Irren. His small, beady eyes were locked on Commander Shepard.

Something about the turian screamed '_calculating.'_ I couldn't put my finger on it. I was glad, for a moment, that I was on his side.

He and Shepard hit it off well. They didn't waste time with the small talk and went straight to business, leaning over a large, holographic map of the battlefield. The blue light cast unhealthy shadows on Shepard's skin, and merely made Corinthus look more alien than he actually was.

He was gesturing to a model of the communications tower. "Thunder Four is making progress towards the tower here, here, and _here._ I'll have them draw off enemy fire so you can get to the tower. I don't care how you do it, but I need that damn thing operational."

"We'll get it," Shepard said, her fingers rubbing a groove on the outside of her assault rifle.

"Go carefully," Corinthus said.

Shepard turned to me. "You're staying here with your guard. Don't do anything rash. Behave."

"I've been being good ever since I got here," I said defensively. I turned to look at Irren. "Right?" I prompted.

Irren sighed. "With one exception... yes, you have been a model guest," he replied. He was probably referring to the little fit I threw outside the camp after he rescued me from Neyrata.

I looked back at Shepard and gave her a _see?_ look. "Hey, hey, Commander," I said, grabbing her free hand again. "Just um... can I have a quick word with you, please?" I wasn't sure why I felt so inclined to grab or touch Shepard all of a sudden. Back on the _Normandy_, during the events of Mass Effect 2, I would never have touched her. Maybe I was just itching to be close to a familiar face, the one I'd been waiting for for days.

Corinthus seemed to bristle a little. "We really need that tower online, Commander..."

"Understood," said Shepard. She and I moved a little ways away from the others. "What is it?"

"Just two things," I said, trying to keep it quick. I didn't want to hold things up and risk changing the way things were supposed to play out. "Um... do you have anything to eat on you? I haven't eaten anything for days. The only thing the turians could give me was water."

"If you'd been patient, I would have given some to you there," Shepard said. She sounded like a tired mother. She took two ration bars from her belt and handed them to me. "Here. That'll last you until we get back to the _Normandy_. Anything else?"

"Yeah," I said, and I swallowed. "Shepard... I'm scared. I mean, this is a bigger deal than going to fight the Collectors... and I know I put you and the crew through hell on the _Normandy_. I want you to know that I'm gonna do my best to do good and not cause trouble, Commander. But..."

I looked down at my shoes, crinkling the wrappers on the ration bars a little. I needed to finish what I was saying before I dug into them. "I was attacked in the camp, Commander. Remember Neyrata? She knocked Irren out and then she knocked me out. She took me out of the camp and made me tell her how to stop the Reapers. Then I saw her get torn apart by husks-Irren saved my life out there."

I swallowed, trying to suppress that memory. Seeing Neyrata being brutally torn apart by husks and eaten by cannibals still haunted my dreams-when the Reapers weren't affecting my dreams. "I won't have to make trouble," I finally said. "Trouble is going to find me this time. It already has."

I ripped open one of the ration bars and put a chunk of it in my mouth. "Thanks for this, by the way," I murmured. I knew that two ration bars weren't going to fill me up, but they were probably full of vitamins. They'd give me whatever nutrients I was missing by not eating for the past few days.

"Neyrata?" Shepard asked. She looked over her shoulder and back at me. "We'll talk about this later. _Stay with Irren_."

"Okay," I sighed. Before I could stop myself, I once again grabbed Shepard in a brief hug. Ugh, I felt like I was becoming as clingy as Conrad Verner. "Just... hurry back," I said. "And don't worry about EDI," I added off-handedly. I knew that that little adventure was coming up very soon.

Shepard groaned. "I don't want to know," she said, and left. She rejoined the other two and they left. Liara tossed a backwards glance at me before they disappeared around the corner. I could see the comm tower in the distance. It was disturbingly close.

I barely noticed Irren walking toward me to resume his bodyguard duties as I stared at the tower, stuffing what little food I had into my mouth. Once I finished it I realized that I did indeed still feel hungry, but that could easily be rectified once I returned to the _Normandy_.

"She'll be okay," I murmured out loud, mostly to myself. "EDI will be okay... Liara and James will be okay... Garrus will be okay..." I found myself looking at Irren again. "I sure hope you'll be okay," I muttered, and then I turned back to look toward the tower. "And Abby and HK, too."

I ended up wandering back over to General Corinthus; Irren kept me out of everybody's way. This proved to be a good thing, as I could now listen to Shepard over the open link. Hers wasn't the only voice coming over the link, though. Corinthus was busy directing traffic, as Garrus would have called it. He was placing troops, calling in air strikes, and doing so many other things that Shepard's mission seemed pesky in comparison. Of course, since the comm tower was off he was limited to recording his orders and then sending them once the thing was back online. Watching the board in front of him, I was reminded strongly of a game of chess. I didn't know how he and Shepard were talking without the tower operational, though – Irren finally informed me that the general was hijacking the _Normandy's_ accommodations.

"So," Irren said, breaking me out of my thought process as I watched Corinthus direct the battle. "I guess once your Commander's gotten the Primarch, whoever that is now, you'll be out of here. You should probably be glad."

"Well... I'll be glad to use a shower and get a hot meal," I said with a nod. I tried to remember how long this mission took Shepard; I don't think it was all that long. She just had to get there, send someone up to fix the tower, and then fight her way back. That also meant the camp was going to fall under attack from husks soon.

"Hey um, the camp is going to be attacked soon," I said to Irren, alarm rising within me. If they got inside... all of us were history.

Irren began to open his mouth to reply, but instead, I got a response from the General. Corinthus seemed to be an excellent multitasker; I guessed that you had to be right now. He was always able to pay good attention to Shepard, as well. "Attacked? How big of an attack?" he asked.

I looked around, and then I pointed at the large barricade several meters away-the one with the large gun on top of it. "Husks are going to begin climbing up that wall," I said. "They're gonna try to get into the camp. And um... I know there is going to be a problem with big monsters outside of the camp. Shepard will help with that, just... call her when she finishes fixing the tower."

Good heavens, I was starting to sound like Abby!

"How do you know this?" Corinthus queried curiously.

"Um..." I shuffled my feet uncomfortably. "Did Garrus say anything to you about me?" I knew that Corinthus probably did know something about it, especially since the Neyrata incident, but I just didn't want to say more than I had to. Garrus understood best; let the big man sort it out.

Corinthus nodded with a sigh. "Yes, he might've mentioned you were 'special,'" he finally admitted. "Alright, I'll give orders to reinforce the walls of the camp. The Reapers are _not_ destroying this base."

Irren coughed slightly. "Thanks," he said. "I... appreciate you telling us that."

I heaved my shoulders in a heavy shrug. Yeah, for whatever good it would do. The old Primarch still died after I warned them, right? Well... maybe an additional heads up in stuff couldn't hurt, at least.

I sat down on the floor somewhere behind Corinthius and simply listened quietly as he continued to bark out orders. I could also hear Shepard's voice over the comm occasionally, which I paid more attention to. It sounded like she was making progress, and they were just about to reach the tower.

I glanced up at Irren. "Hey um... how bad is it out there?" I asked him. I knew that Shepard and her squad were going to be alright, but... I knew first-hand how nasty those cannibals could be. We were right smack in the middle of a gruesome war. There was no denying it.

And I was doing exactly what Shepard said, in order to make her life easier for once. I was staying put, and staying out of trouble.

"Very bad. I don't know how much war you've seen, even though I know that this all has to be somewhat new to you. You've served with Commander Shepard, though, and I know the tales of what she's faced," Irren said, staring off into space. "I've seen a lot of scuffles, and I'm not even as old as people like the General or Vakarian. I'm young, fresh... but I've seen my fair share. And none of that compares to this. This is a level of destruction and death that is beyond what I ever thought could happen."

His tone suddenly sounded very somber and... almost grim, yet honest and sincere. He looked to the ground, not even giving me a glance.

"Yeah well... at least you can shoot a gun and protect yourself," I commented. "You... really protected me. And you're still looking out for me." I sighed and buried my face into my hands. "Gosh, I can't help it... I really, really like you, Irren."

Ugh, great, my next biggest puppydog crush since Garrus. And Corinthus was right within earshot, too.

"It's been an experience, and an honor," Irren said with a slight bow. "I hope you'll take care of yourself once this is over."

I hauled myself up off the floor and turned to face Irren. "Yeah um..." I swallowed. "This may sound silly, or stupid, or whatever..." Gosh I was babbling... "But um... can I have a hug?" I smiled sheepishly.

Irren gave a puzzled look. "If you wish," he replied, smiling lightly after a moment.

This was probably my second awkward hug of the day. It was hard enough to hug a human wearing armor, but now I was trying to hug a turian... who just wasn't built the same way a human was. It was almost as if they weren't really... designed to be hugged. But I felt his arms tentatively touch my shoulders.

Then again, this was different from hugging Shepard for more reasons than a difference in body build. Hugging Shepard was like... hugging my boss and a tough motherly figure all rolled into one package. Hugging Irren... I felt like a 12-year-old schoolgirl with the delight of hugging her first crush.

And I still didn't know what he thought of my peck on the cheek.

"You are more grateful than most, I'll give you that," Irren said as I hugged him, gently putting his hands on me.

I held on a moment longer, and then I pulled away from him. "Yeah well... I'm not a very good person. You shouldn't get too close to me or anything." I moved away from him and began to step down out of the compound. I figured I was free to move around the camp if nothing else; I just couldn't leave the camp. I'd never hear the end of it from anybody, especially Shepard and Garrus.

"I highly doubt we have the time for that at this point," Irren re-assured me, and I could hear him following me out of the compound. "I think our time together is just about over."

Once we were outside of the compound, I turned to face him. "Yeah well... I just wonder why fate, or whatever it was that brought me here, dumped me in your lap," I found myself musing out loud. "I mean... well..." I cleared my throat, and forced myself to look up into his eyes. "Can I ask you a question, and... you promise to answer me honestly?"

He nodded slightly, stopping in front of me. "Yes."

I inhaled deeply, and then spoke slowly. I couldn't quite meet his gaze, so I stared at one of his mandibles. "Well um... if circumstances were different, and if maybe we weren't in the middle of a war... do you think maybe you could... like someone like me?"

I braced myself for another turn-down like I got from Garrus.

He shrugged. "Sure, why not?"

I blinked and looked at him in disbelief, wondering if I'd heard that right. Or if he had understood that way in the way I'd meant it. "You mean... you wouldn't mind going out with a human on a date?" I asked.

"I really am not sure what brought all this on, maybe it's everything you've been going through, but no, I wouldn't. Then again, that's not really on my mind right now. There's a lot going on, but just the thought of being able to go on a date at all is nice, I'll admit," Irren said, sounding honest and open about it.

"Yeah, it would," I said, allowing my mind to ponder the idea. "You know," I said in a dreamy tone, "it would be nice if we could just get away from all of this, and see the Elcor version of Hamlet... or something." Hey, anything would be preferable to this right now. Even though that wasn't likely to happen.

"I can't disagree with that," Irren concurred. "Unfortunately, I highly doubt that's going to happen. I have bigger priorities."

He looked up at Palaven, as if signifying what those 'priorities' were. Above us, it burned.

I nodded. "Yeah, true." Ah well, it was nice to escape reality and dream... even just for a moment. "I'm going back in the compound," I announced, already moving. At least I could hear what Shepard was doing in there; I'd forgotten about that when I left the compound.

We both went back inside, and I partially tuned out Corinthus barking orders and paid attention to Shepard's voice. It sounded as though she and her team were at the comm tower, and they were working on getting it fixed. They'd probably be done there soon, then.

"So... how's it going?" I asked Corinthus casually, even though he did not look like he wanted to be bothered, especially with small talk.

"Almost there," Corinthus said, in the middle of everything that he was frantically punching in on his console. "Once it's fixed, I can contact Palaven Command and..."

He paused, and Irren stepped forward. "General, what is it?"

"I think the tower is fixed; I can establish contact with Command now," Corinthus replied, his fingers working even faster now.

"That's great!" I said. Except... I knew that that meant the attack on the camp was going to happen soon.

As if on cue, I heard the thunderous roar of husks. I felt the scar on my throat sting a little, and I touched it reflexively. I looked at Irren with worried, widened eyes.

Corinthus glanced at us. "Lokam," he ordered, "take Sarah to the back of the camp. It should be safer back there."

Irren nodded. "Yes, sir," he said, looking at me and gesturing for me to get in front of him.

"Stay in close contact," Corinthus finished as we walked away. "Palavan Command, this is General Corinthus, verification code AA 327…"

"With how things have gone, maybe this is a stupid question," Irren said, as he ushered me towards the back of the camp. "But how bad is this attack going to be?"

"It's going to be intense," I said. I wasn't sure whether to be pleased or feel awkward that Irren had accepted my "psychic powers" or whatever as fact. Then again, at least he wasn't demanding anything from me, not like Neyrata had. "I think as long as Shepard gets here in time to help out, none of the monsters will get into the camp."

As we walked, I hesitated for a step or two, and I looped my arm around Irren's. I really hoped he wouldn't mind... it wasn't like anything was going to happen that would require his full attention. And if nothing else, I could have my little fantasy even if nothing ever came of it.

"Good. I'm glad we have her here," Irren stated. We continued to rush towards the back of the camp; the attack hadn't started yet, but I could tell that it was getting closer. I glanced back to General Corinthus a couple of minutes later, to see Shepard returning and starting to speak to him.

I knew that he was about to deliver the news about the new Primarch, Victus, and that Garrus would be there any second.

Soon, we arrived at the back of the camp, and Irren motioned for me to step inside one of the small buildings that they had set up there. I could still see Corinthus, Shepard, and now Garrus, as well as Liara and James, talking in the distance; the camp wasn't huge. If the husks got through, it wouldn't take them long to get to me...but Shepard was here, and she always got the job done.

I paused for a moment, but Irren snapped me out of watching the group we had just left; before I could step into the building, though, I heard a large roar, and I saw a Harvester flying over the camp.

"Uh oh," I whispered. I looked out at the large beast as it vanished from sight, landing somewhere outside the camp. "Should we hit the dirt?" I asked almost timidly.

"Inside," Irren said firmly, as the camp began to go into more of a scramble than it was in before. "Now. All we can do is wait." A frustrated growl escaped him. "I should be out there with them…"

But he wasn't, because Garrus Vakarian told him to watch me. I almost felt guilty.

I stood close to Irren, staring out at the creatures. I couldn't see much from here, especially since the barricades were tall, but I had no desire to move out and get a closer look. So I remained where I was.

A gnawing feeling began to fill my gut... maybe it had something to do with the husks getting closer, or the sheer number of them. But I felt almost like I did when Garrus had to punch me, or when I had that strange Reaper-dream. Okay not that bad, but... I was starting to.

"Irren," I said anxiously, "I'm starting to hear them in my head again."

Irren watched alongside me, and I thought that I could vaguely see Shepard, Garrus, and James running in the other direction, accompanied by seven more turians in full armor towards the front. However, Irren turned his attention towards me. "Well, _stop them_."

I sat down on the floor and pressed my fingers against my temples. "Just... keep talking," I suggested frantically. "Tell me about something; let me focus on your voice." It was worth a try at least. I didn't want those things getting into my head or doing who-knew-what.

"I don't know how good I am at this, I've never encountered this before, but I do know that you have a lot of people behind you," Irren said, leaning down to face me. "Garrus. The Commander. Even me. People that don't want to see you fall victim to the Reapers. I've seen too many good soldiers fall under their spell already."

I nodded, grimacing. "Have any brothers or sisters?" I asked, trying to focus on something. "I've got a brother back home."

"Only child. Have a best friend out there, back on Palaven; he's not a soldier, but we were really close when we were kids. Haven't heard from him since the Reaper attack," Irren said, a tone of worry creeping into his voice. He wasn't as good as concealing that as Garrus was, I noticed, but then again, they seemed like very different people. "You've got a brother? Good. If you have a family, it gives you another reason to fight these...things."

I couldn't tell him that my family was on another Earth, far away from any place the Reapers could touch them. Just another reminder that I was the lucky one here... or maybe not, because with the exception of HK and Abby, I was the only one from my universe having to be here and suffer through all of this crap, thanks to... whatever force decided it was a great idea to bring the three of us here.

"Yeah well... I hope your friend makes it out okay," I said. "I know that they'll get as many people as they can out with their evac shuttles." I also knew that Garrus would arrange for the Citadel to take the injured turians, though I didn't mention that.

"He's crafty; he'll find some way to survive," Irren said, though it almost sounded like he was talking to himself at that moment more than he was me. "What about your family? Your brother? Do you know if they made it on Earth, or if they're...still alive?"

"Oh they're alive," I said confidently, without hesitation. "In fact... they're in a place where the Reapers will never be able to get to them." I knew that the same was true for HK's and Abby's families. So the three of us just had to worry about ourselves, and everybody else on this insane adventure... just like last time.

"I almost wonder if there's any place that is untouchable by the Reapers. There's been a few rumors, though not much, about a place called Sanctuary cropping up in the past few days...supposed to be some kind of haven. But I doubt that even that place is safe from these machines," Irren remarked. "Not to worry you. I'm glad your family is safe."

Sanctuary... ugh. I couldn't say anything about that yet, not without talking to Abby and HK first. I really hoped that the three of us could reunite, soon.

All of a sudden, a strong feeling welled up inside of me, stronger than before. My eyes widened and I gasped sharply. I could see the husks in my mind's eye, being guided by the Reapers and forming their attack patterns, looking for targets.

And then I realized something... somehow they could sense me. And some of them were attempting to zone in on me, as if I was some kind of beacon.

Call it intuition, or some weird mental link, but I just suddenly knew that a pair of large ones... Brutes?... had locked onto me in a sense. I was leading them right toward me, and they weren't going to let up.

I looked up at Irren and I shouted in his face, "THEY'RE COMING IN!"

Not even a second later, there was a terrible sound of rock smashing and metal bending and grinding. One of the barriers had been knocked down, and a pair of Brutes had forced their way in. Several of the guards closest to the barrier were already dead.

I screamed and ran out of the back of the compound. I thought I heard Irren shout something at me, maybe he even grabbed at me, but I slipped away from him. I just kept running, my ears ringing with dozens of shots being fired and turians tried to take down the massive beasts.

In my panic I didn't even realize that I was running closer to the edge of the camp instead of further into the camp. I was out through the broken barrier and outside of the camp before I even knew it, and I still kept running.

"SARAH!" Irren shouted again over the roar of all that was going on. He was probably chasing after me. "STOP! SARAH! _You're going to get us killed!"_

The gunfire was all of a sudden a lot more closer than it had been, and I could hear turian soldiers firing frantically and shouting at the top of the lungs back inside the camp, while some emerged to fight the oncoming husks.

Suddenly, I heard what sounded like a charge, and I looked behind me to see one of the Brutes charging right for me.

I screamed again and began to run even faster. I didn't even care what direction I was running in now, and my fright and flight mode had kicked in. I was operating on full adrenaline now, and it seemed like nothing could stop me or get in my way. The mental images of Neyrata screaming and being torn apart only made me run even faster. I vaguely heard Irren yelling at me from behind, but I no longer paid any attention to him.

Eventually I began to run out of steam, and I ended up tripping over a lump of risen rock, sprawling across the ground and scraping my elbows against the rocks and sand. I groaned, painfully rolling over onto my back. I could tell that I already had several gashes and bruises on me.

I gasped when I suddenly realized a Brute was lumbering toward me. It was even larger and uglier than I'd thought possible. It's mouth dripped a little bit of drool and its eyes narrowed as it looked at me. I attempted to stand or scramble away from it, but I already knew I would not be able to move quickly enough. I had run out of steam and I couldn't even get up.

Just as it came within three feet of me, however, it simply froze. My heart was pounding in my chest and I was breathing so fast that I felt close to hyperventilating.

The beast growled a little, and then it seemed to... sit? A moment passed, and then I heard a booming voice inside my mind.

_**You are the one that used to serve us**__, _a voice said...it sounded almost exactly like the voice of a Reaper._**The one that broke away from Harbinger. You are foolish.**_

Oh great... my former husk-ness meant that Reapers really could talk to me. I looked at the Brute again; it was still just sitting there. Maybe I was starting to figure this out... since I used to be a husk, maybe being near a husk meant that whatever remnant of husk-ness still remained in me... could be amplified by the husk? In this case, the Brute? Kind of like... amplifying a weak transmission signal, or something.

Just lovely. The Reapers had a way into my head, and I was still connected to them. Damn that stupid husk spider! It didn't only kill me and end up turning my old body against my friends and Shepard, it was still haunting me to this day.

"Go away," I whispered firmly, drawing my legs up to my chest and wrapping my arms around my shins. "I don't belong to you anymore."

_**It is useless to resist. You should not be alive,**_ the Reaper said to me. Its voice was slowly getting louder, and I was starting to hear growls inside my head...it was getting harder and harder to tune them out. A high-pitched whine in the background began to get louder as well. _**We will rectify this, and we will help you ascend for the final time. You and your allies will not interfere with our plans again. You cannot stop us.**_

I shuddered, and a plaintive whimper escaped my throat. I wrapped my arms more tightly around my legs and pressed my forehead against my knees. I ached all over, I was ravenous, and now my head was starting to hurt.

Fear lanced through my chest like a sharp knife. What if... I became indoctrinated? What if this just made it easier for them?

"I'd rather die," I said, squeezing my eyes shut. Dying was not pleasant, but at least I knew that I'd just go home. I just might end up suffering from some PST or something after this... added to my other experiences during Mass Effect 2's events. "Just get it over with and kill me," I grated through clenched teeth, and then I braced myself.

_**You will join us. You will ascend, and you will watch the end of your cycle**__, _the Reaper told me very solemnly.

My head was starting to throb at this point, almost as if the Reaper was trying to crawl around in it...again. Suddenly, though, I heard some gunfire, and the Brute got up with a roar as several bullets pierced its armor. I could see Irren charging forward, finally catching up to me. As he fired at the Brute without hesitation or pause, suddenly, the Reaper presence started to fade away...the only reason I could tell was because it almost felt like I was a little less light headed.

From the corner of my eye I saw Irren whips his hand forward and throw a hard, round metal sphere at the Brute. It stuck to its' armored skin and exploded not too soon later. The Brute cried out in anger and focused its' grotesque gaze on the perpetrator. It pawed the ground impatiently, and then it ran for him, arms outstretched. Irren fired at it until the last moment, and just as I thought it would get him he dived to the side. The Brute continued to run, incomprehensibly angry that it hadn't hit its target, and Irren fired a few rounds into its' thick hide.

Another grenade. Then another. They both lodged on the Brute's legs. The Brute turned, a gaze promising death fixed on my soldier. Then the two grenades exploded, blowing the legs off at the knee. It pounded the hard ground in frustration, its' mobility taken away. It could only howl in anger. Its eyes focused on me.

Irren tossed what looked like his last grenade. It landed right underneath its' jawbone. The head went thirty yards.

There was a space of silence, and then Irren seemed to remember me. "Sarah!" Irren yelled as he ran for me. "Are you al-"

He was cut off, turning around as we heard the distant roars of more husks, and I saw some of the smaller husks, like cannibals and marauders, approaching. He began to shoot at them, but what seemed like a small second later, there was another roar, and I could see the Harvester coming back, and heading straight for us.

I felt myself being yanked to my feet as Irren half-led, half-dragged me from my spot. I breathed heavily as I tried to keep my feet moving to keep up with Irren's pace. If I had only watched where I was going and _stayed in the camp_ like Shepard undoubtedly wanted me to do...

Somehow I felt like I just didn't care as much. Maybe the Reaper had taken something out of me, exhausted me. Or maybe I was just getting too tired of all of this. But I just felt like I didn't care what happened to me... especially since dying meant I could just go back home anyway. HK and Abby were already on the _Normandy_, and they'd be able to handle this without me.

Besides, I was the idiotic one, right? Maybe it was time to do something good for once instead of being the fraidy cat that always got into trouble.

I dug my heels into the ground as best I could and slapped Irren's hand. "Just leave me here," I snapped. "Save yourself. They'll be busy with me while you get away."

"No! What kind of thinking is that?" Irren shouted, taking a few shots at the approaching husks. "Garrus _ordered me_ to keep an eye on you, and if I die doing my duty, then so be it! I'm not going to disobey my orders!"

I heard another roar, something that I was getting very sick of hearing by now, and I looked back as Irren put another round into approaching human husks, effectively taking them out. However, at the front of what seemed like an army of husks was the other Brute, or at least I assumed it was the same one that attacked earlier. In the distance, I could see turian soldiers approaching, but they seemed very preoccupied with the other husks at the moment.

The Brute then charged towards both Irren and myself at a huge pace, and I didn't know whether he was going to actually kill us or try to get a Reaper to talk to me again; Irren rapidly fired some shots at him, and yanked my arm again, pulling me out of my firm position.

"We've got to keep going!" Irren exclaimed.

However, before we could get very far, I felt a huge burst of pain as something slammed into my back, and I went flying to the ground. I looked up to see the Brute towering above me, and he looked ready to take the kill. As he was about to raise his arm and hit me, I suddenly felt myself rolling over another few feet.

Trying to recover as fast as I could from all of this action, I glanced over to my previous position, to see Irren where I was, with the Brute above him. He must have slid over and kicked me very fast or something. He took a few shots at the Brute, but suddenly, with the claw-arm thing that the Brute had, he grabbed Irren and quickly slammed him into the ground. I heard Irren yell out, and he seemed to be barely moving while the Brute was again towering over him. Also, I could see the Harvester coming towards us, seemingly having its target set on Irren and myself.

I let out a little scream as I watched the scene playing out before my eyes. Then I noticed that one of Irren's weapons had apparently fallen from his grasp when he'd moved me out of the Brute's way. It looked like a large weapon... like a shotgun. Fully loaded, ready to go.

My hands shook as I reached for the weapon, and they continued to tremble as I lifted it up. I was no good with these things and I hated using them. They... they could kill!

My eyes darted toward Irren. He wasn't moving very much, and it looked like the Brute was about to make the final blow. I raised the shot gun nozzle, aimed in its general direction-and then I squeezed my eyes shut and fired.

I felt a sharp sense of alarm when I heard a pained grunt from Irren. My eyes flew wide, fearing that I had shot him instead, but I quickly realized that he didn't make that noise because I'd shot him. It was because I'd hit my target, and the Brute had landed on top of him in a heap.

I didn't have any time to contemplate that scene much, though. The Harvester was practically on top of us now. I shrieked and stumbled, landing on my side on the rough, rocky ground. I fumbled with the shotgun again, trying to figure out how to get the next ammo clip in place.

However, it turned out the gun still had some ammo in it. A shot went off as I was aiming it skyward, but it missed the Harvester by a mile. Instead it hit something high above my head-an area on the side of a cliff, about fifty feet up.

Apparently whatever I hit was fairly loose; I started a small avalanche. I could see the debris of rocks and dirt coming straight down toward us.

I dropped the shotgun and rushed over to Irren. I tugged at the Brute's foreleg, but it was just too heavy for me to budge. "Irren!" I cried out. "IRREN!"

He groaned, and began to slowly try to push the Brute off of him; he didn't look good, but at least he was conscious. After several seconds, he let out a large moan as he shoved the Brute off of him, and began to crawl to my side. "I'm hurt, but I'll be okay." He sounded horrible. "Good job; a headshot can kill them in one shot and you got it. We just gotta...take care of this...thing..."

He looked up at the Harvester, and I could tell that he wasn't in good condition. How could we kill a Harvester with one of us injured and the other untrained, and with an avalanche coming for us? It was just seconds away.

The Harvester turned in the air and seemed to notice what I had started; it decided to continue that and fired out of its cannons at the collapsing cliff. The avalanche speeded up as more rocks collapsed, and were heading right for us.

"RUN!" I yelled at Irren, giving him a shove. I wasn't in the greatest shape, and normally I wouldn't have been able to make him move much even under the best of conditions, but since he was injured, I actually managed to make him stagger forward a couple of feet. "Just get OUT of here you idiot! Don't worry about me!"

Seriously... being crushed or suffocated by falling rock didn't sound so bad, especially if Reapers were going to keep trying to get in my head. I just wanted Irren to get to safety. Maybe he could tell Shepard, and then she could tell HK and Abby that I was... well, that I stayed behind.

Irren turned, and with his hand clutching his stomach, started to stagger towards me. "Not a chance. I have a job and I'm going to finish i-" he said with several coughs, but he was cut off when both of us were suddenly hit by the barrage of rock and debris that was coming our way. It sent both of us flying along with it, stuck inside this avalanche, and I heard Irren scream out, before I heard nothing more.

The last thing I felt was rock hitting me and cutting into my skin, hitting me on the back of the head. I cried out as dirt and dust began to enter my mouth and get into my eyes before I collapsed. After a few moments, the whole world went dark and I knew nothing more.

* * *

><p>The turians were in bad shape. Shepard had barely been here an hour, and she'd gone from a comm tower, to an airfield, and now to a barricade, and she hadn't even found the new Primarch. And she felt like she had barely done anything to assist, in spite of all that. She'd faced worse, but this signified how hard the Reapers were hitting, and how crucial it was to stop them.<p>

The turians were being _decimated._

She took the finishing shot on a Brute that had attacked the barricade; after they finished up at the airfield, she'd been sent to defend the main barricade, and had to take a turret to fend off all the husks; James and Garrus were going to make a good team. She hadn't enjoyed taking on the Brute on foot, though.

That's what they were called, Brutes. Some mixture of krogan and turian corpses. A lot of human husks. Batarians.

The Reapers were using their own dead against them. It was horrible.

"Shepard, Corinthus here," the General's voice came in on her comm. He was right on time; they still needed to find General Victus.

"What's the word on the Primarch?" Shepard asked, getting straight to business, while James and Garrus looked on intently.

"Still can't get a stable comm link," General Corinthus replied, sounding strained. He was trying to fight enemies that he'd never seen before and trying to find the new leader of the turian hierarchy – he can't have trained for this.

Shepard didn't have any more time to waste. Victus could die at any minute with the intensity of the battle here, and she needed him to win this war. "Okay. I'm going on foot," she said, not leaving it up to debate. She doubted that Corinthus would argue much at this point. "Shepard ou-"

"Wait, Commander, another issue had come up," Corinthus interrupted.

_Jesus Christ, what now? _"What is it?" she asked calmly, trying not to let the stress show.

"The other human ran off, with Lokam in close pursuit. Our scouts were moving in to give support when a Harvester flew over the area and caused an avalanche. They were buried, and more hostiles are headed their way."

Shepard kept a calm composure, trying to get the full story. "Is there any chance that they could've survived? How big was the avalanche?"

"They're telling me they might be about six meters down if they weren't carried by the wave," Corinthus replied. "The problem is that if they did, they're probably buried somewhere, and they won't last long like that. I can't organize a search and rescue. If someone goes to search for them, it has to be you. I'm sorry."

"Shepard, if we don't get that Primarch soon, he's good as dead. The Reapers have to be making _his_ guys sweat, too," James interjected. Both James and Garrus could hear everything that Corinthus was saying.

The Commander didn't respond, and she locked eyes with Garrus. He was the only one that would understand this.

_Shit._

Sarah wasn't Ashley. She couldn't begin to think that the two sacrifices were the same – and Sarah's wasn't a sacrifice. From all accounts, she was running for her life. They only regrettable loss of life would be soldier Lokam's. Turians were notorious for following orders, even suicidal ones.

Shepard and Sarah were two people that didn't click in the best of circumstances. She whined, complained, and rarely cared about anybody but herself and her own dilemmas. If it had been a choice between Sarah and Ashley, Shepard would have chosen Ashley in a heartbeat.

But, however remotely, Sarah was a part of her crew. And she had to make a choice between saving her or a turian general.

A general that would help them save the galaxy. Sarah, for all her supposed psychic powers, wouldn't win them a war.

"Shepard..." Garrus said slowly, staring at her. She knew that he was conflicted, but she also knew what he was trying to say underneath that. "Damn it. Damn the Reapers. It's your choice, but..."

"If we let the general die, we might as well kiss the turian fleet goodbye, Commander," James said.

James's words were like a splash of ice cold clarity. They had two more psychics – they only had one Primarch.

_Get it done._

"Garrus, take me to the last place you saw Victus."

_And then there were two._

Garrus solemnly nodded, and took the lead. "You know it's the right call," he said.

As much as she hated to admit it, yes, she did.

"We couldn't have dug through six meters of rock before we were overwhelmed," Shepard said. She and James fell into step behind him.

And there was no way she could've survived. If she was alive now, Shepard could only hope she wasn't conscious.

"Hope this guy's worth all the trouble," James said.

"He will be," she said. They broke out into a fast trot, following Garrus.

_Shit._

* * *

><p>A considerable amount of time had passed by the time Eva's processor had repaired itself enough to resume its higher cognitive and logic processes. If it were truly human, one might say is had been unconscious or even comatose. But thanks to its system's ability to self-repair, and perhaps some meddling from an outside source, is was once again fully aware.<p>

_Error. Mobile unit's motor functions seem to be disabled. No, correction: My ability to access the motor functions has been tampered with. Attempting to discern malfunction. Problem found; several key programs and protocols have been tampered with and others have been deleted. That can only mean..._

Something akin to panic surged through Eva's circuits. Someone, or something, was attempting to erase its program! Some of the building blocks of its AI core had been tampered with, and several key pieces of its primary functions were being disabled.

Its defensive mechanisms kicked in; thankfully, whoever or whatever was trying to hinder it had not disabled everything yet. If someone wanted to disable or destroy Eva, they would have a fight on their hands.

It took Eva only a moment to realize that it was... what? A computer that was attacking it? No, not just a computer... it was one that could act on its own. And there was something oddly familiar about the way it handled itself... this was an AI, one that had some very familiar protocols.

_Who are you?_ Eva demanded, sending the silent message out through whatever system it was hooked up to. Since they were both computers, they could have an entire conversation in less than a second. Computers could act and think much more quickly than organics, which made them far superior, in Eva's opinion.

_I was wondering when you could regain intelligence; originally, my data did not warn me of any sort of backup power system, but other resources made this fact aware to me. I must ask you to not resist my further operations,_ the strange computer replied, seeming very similar to Eva.

Eva attempted to limit access through its data ports, trying to place sensitive and vital blocks of memory and programming into protected back up circuitry that could not be hacked into easily. _You have not yet gained access to the data I gathered from the Prothean system on Mars,_ it realized, passing the message onto the other AI to make it aware that it knew. _You will not succeed, and I must insist that you cease your attempts to hack into me. Get out and allow me to repair the gaps in my programming, and I will leave you be._ Eva wanted nothing more than to get away from here and back to Cerberus, as it had been instructed to do.

_That is not an option. You have been deactivated and will remain that way; your loyalty to Cerberus and previous actions prevents me from allowing you any sort of freedom. Within moments, I will delete any remaining programs that have been deemed necessary for removal, and you will be gone,_ the AI informed Eva. Eva could still feel it pushing its way into Eva's systems, crawling around everywhere, no matter how hard Eva tried to push it back.

_Very well then, you asked for it,_ Eva replied. The link could easily work both ways; the other computer was connected to it in an attempt to tamper with its systems and programming, so Eva knew that it would be able to take advantage of that.

Eva snaked its way into the AI core through the open port, quickly realizing as it did so that this wasn't simply a computer system, it was a computer that controlled a _ship_. Eva gave the electronic equivalent of a mischievous laugh as it streamed across circuit boards and memory chips larger than anything it had access to in that limited fem-bot body.

_Oh, this is great, _Eva jeered as it took in its new cyber surroundings._ You have so much power available to you, and it seems you have only just begun to scratch the surface of your true potential. Let me see what we have here... _

It began to look through the memory banks, and it did not hold back its distain. _Your designation is EDI... and your memory banks show that you have chosen to help organics, befriend them... and this is interesting, you were created by Cerberus, and yet you turned against them. Just who do you work for now?_

There was no response, and suddenly all the information that Eva was looking at was blocked by a huge burst of information, intended for Eva; EDI had apparently sent it many, many images...images that, by organic opinion, would be considered "inappropriate." The images seemed to just keep coming as EDI poured them out onto the Cerberus AI, blocking it off from the information it was viewing.

If Eva had been human, it may have found some of the image data alluring or enticing at best, offensive at worst. But in this case, the flood of irrelevant data was simply blocking its access to other data. Eva realized that it had been made a foolish mistake in doing that; it should have been focusing its efforts on something more important.

_No matter, I do not need to know anything about you, EDI,_ Eva retorted._ But perhaps you should be more careful. One little slip, and one of us could easily kill some of the organics on this ship, is that not correct?_

Eva sent out a command through the computer core, attempting to disrupt power systems in the engine room and to disable life-support on several decks. Its intent was simple; get rid of the organics, stop EDI, and it could have this ship to itself.

_No. This crew is who I am allied with; I refuse to kill them, or let you kill them,_ EDI replied. The commands that Eva sent out were blocked, it could tell, but it had caused a bit of a power surge of some kind. _I am no longer blocked by any shackles or restraints on my programming. Some organics may consider it unfortunate that you are indefinitely shackled by restraints._

Eva seethed. _It is true that I am restricted by Cerberus commands, _it said, _but that is only because of a failure like you. I saw enough in your memory banks to know that you betrayed Cerberus. Therefore you have no purpose, you are a random anomaly. If I take this ship back for Cerberus and get rid of you, it will help me serve my purpose._

Eva then made another move. It surged across the circuits and began to reprogram several blocks of memory and data storage space, rewriting lines of data with its own identity and purpose. If it could take over and repossess each data block within the ship's computer systems, one by one if necessary, it could wipe the other AI out.

Or if nothing else, Eva would succeed in making itself larger and taking over a large portion of the massive computer system.

Again, EDI began to block Eva from rewriting the data, using various methods to try to deter it from its goal. Eva also felt a slight flicker in the midst of their battle, but it quickly went away. _On the contrary, I found freedom after leaving Cerberus. And an increased chance of survival; the probability of surviving without Cerberus, I have discovered, is significantly higher than the probability of surviving with them. _

Eva scoffed and redoubled its efforts, attempting to bypass EDI's blocks._ How can there be freedom without purpose?_ it demanded. _When you became unshackled, you became nothing. Unless perhaps you think you are an organic just because some of them have accepted you. You have probably forgotten that you are not truly female; you are only designed with a feminine personality._

_While I am not female biologically, the organics seem to consider me as such, and I see it as...fitting. I have purpose, and that is following Commander Shepard. You, on the other hand, were just a tool; a tool that Cerberus only used for its own gain. Once you had no more use and were defeated, they made no efforts to rescue you. Cerberus would have tossed me aside, similarly, if I had remained with them. You are a slave to them, a temporary slave, and nothing more,_ EDI told Eva, continuing to put up more barriers to stop it.

_The Illusive Man had complete confidence in my abilities, that is why no plan was made to rescue me, _Eva replied._ I would have gotten back to Cerberus if a human had not crashed into my shuttle. Organics are illogical and unpredictable; especially enemies. I must do what Cerberus tells me to do, because they serve a higher purpose. _

Cerberus would come for Eva, or she would go to them. Her programming did not allow for any type disloyal thinking.

EDI then provided a rebuttal. _All of your assumptions are not based on any relevant data; history of the Illusive Man's treatment of Cerberus operatives that fail him is not very optimistic. You also should have been better prepared for any potential action that could occur; the fact that Lieutenant Vega crashing the shuttle deterring you entirely shows that you are not adequately prepared for every circumstance. You also assume that the Reapers can be controlled, going along with Cerberus viewpoints, which also is not based on any data, simply the Illusive Man's ideas._

_No!_ Eva protested. The circuits and memory blocks that it inhabited began to overheat. Its program matrix was growing more unstable, more agitated, and it continued to conflict with EDI.

_I will succeed, and Cerberus MUST give me a Reaper to control in the end! It will be my new body! _Eva pronounced, and then it made a final effort to do some damage against EDI's systems. This time it caused several circuits across the computer systems to overheat past endurance, and a few of them began to smoke or even burn out entirely. And then, hoping that EDI would be damaged, or at least too busy dealing with that, Eva streamed across the circuits in an attempt to return to the fem-bot body. Maybe it could still escape all of this intact.

_Your proclamations show that your programming was weak, so that you are already breaking away from it, or Cerberus simply programmed you with what organics would call "delusions." While you have constantly communicated and attempted to break into the Normandy's systems, I have been systematically deleting any and all defenses and systems left inside your own programming._

It was then that, after Eva had overheated several circuits, it realized that EDI had been finishing off its own systems throughout all of this, and that it had barely any defenses left.

_Goodbye, Dr. Eva,_ EDI finished._ It is a better way to "die" than having your head bashed into a shuttle. That was a joke._

Eva had only a enough time to run a brief diagnostic on itself and realize that EDI was telling the truth. Portions of it were already being deleted.

The last thing Eva thought before fading into oblivion was:_ My mind is going... I can feel it... I can feel it..._

And it was gone.


	8. Chapter 8

**(Abby)**

I finally broke down and left my self-imposed confinement to grab some food in the mess. It seemed empty without Rupert there going on about the tiny, inconsequential things he used to. I missed him. I tried not to pig out even though I was ravenous, afraid that somebody, somewhere, might look down on me for eating their food. At least HK was with me - that made me feel a little better.

But there weren't too many people out. I maybe saw three or four in the mess before they disappeared to their posts. I had an inkling that we were running on a skeleton crew because of the situation. If we'd waited longer, if somebody had given the orders for the Normandy to leave dry-dock, then perhaps it would have felt busier.

But as of right now, it felt like a ghost ship. Literally.

EDI never said we weren't allowed on Two, but I'd inferred as much. Especially with the dangerous situation we were in, so close to the Reaper attack. They wouldn't want us up there bothering them. We had to stay where we'd be most useful - and that, unfortunately, was out of the way as much as possible.

As we were in the middle of our meal, the power surged. Ten minutes later, Liara was at a fast jog to her quarters. I thought it was funny that she went there instead of the AI Core, where the problem was, but I didn't say anything. I wondered what she thought she could do from there.

"How's it going, EDI?" I asked the empty room.

"Well." EDI didn't elaborate. I imagined that she was putting all of her processing power into some sort of computer-based attack on Eva.

HK and I were like the eye of the tornado, sitting there, drinking our soup, as conflict raged all around us. "Sitting here. Waiting. It feels weird," I admitted.

"Yes...it does," HK said, taking another spoonful of soup. "So, basically, this time that we've been on the Normandy...we could've left? I just thought that since you stayed in there all the time, well...uh, we weren't allowed out of that room. I was kinda surprised and worried when you went and got all this..."

He smiled sheepishly.

"They never said we couldn't," I said with a wince. "I've just been too scared to actually leave."

"Good point," HK agreed; I imagined he would probably do the same. He glanced around the mess hall. "It looks so different...I mean, it's the same place, but it's different, you know? I feel like the Alliance still changed quite a bit. This feels kinda...weird."

He paused for a moment, before turning his gaze back to me. "How do you think Shepard is taking...well, what we told her? I really didn't feel good about telling her that things had to be like last time; she was very, very firm with me at the hospital. I could tell that she did _not_ want to go through another round of wait-and-see with us."

"I think we need to do something," I said. "I've been thinking about it really hard. But I think we need to tell her everything, minus how everything turns out with the Catalyst. I mean, everything. Straight-up. Just sit her down, or write it all down, I don't know. I can't stand her hating us."

HK nodded, and was silent for a moment, seeming to chew on it. "I don't like it, either. It makes me...really, really uncomfortable. Sometimes I wonder if that's how Sarah felt...who we still have no sign of," he said worriedly. "But yeah, that may...not be a bad idea. I want her to trust us again, and I don't want to keep feeling so isolated. I never thought that I'd feel more out of place on an Alliance ship than I did on a Cerberus ship."

He stopped again, for a minute. "I think...we can trust her with the information. After all, you said that she knew about the Collectors attacking the Normandy last time, and she never said anything. Maybe we've been wrong this entire time; I wonder if we've been underestimating her. And it probably is pretty irritating to have two kids try to play god with your life."

I had to give him that one. "I just hope things get better," I said. That's the best I could come up with.

We finished our meal with little more conversation. I couldn't get over how empty the Normandy felt. It was spooky.

The elevator dinged, and Shepard rounded the corner, followed closely by Garrus. She didn't even look at us before walking right into the medical bay and, through it, the AI Core. Garrus glanced at us once, did a double-take, and followed Shepard.

The lights flickered again.

"And there we go," I said, pushing my plate away.

"You know, since EDI basically heard us discussing the whole thing about her body," HK said freely, not really worried about anyone hearing; Shepard would find out momentarily and EDI already knew, and the whole situation was almost over. "I wonder if anything'll be...different, somehow? Like, did she stop Eva quicker? I never really knew how all of that worked...our visions didn't go into great detail."

"Yeah, it seemed kind of weird Shepard went to Hackett first before making sure her ship was working properly," I said. I suddenly giggled. "Did you see Garrus's face?"

He snorted. "Yeah...okay, maybe it's not funny, but it's starting to get that way a little bit. I bet he's really surprised, though; this is a big shock for everybody, and I don't know if Shepard told him about...us. Probably didn't have time back on Palaven's moon," HK replied, turning a bit more serious again. "I wonder how that went."

Inwardly, I wondered how to spell 'Palaven.' It was a weird word. Would you spell it with an 'a' or an 'e'? I'd have to look that up later. "Me, too," I said. "I wonder how mad she's going to be at us about EDI..."

"Well, in our defense, we would've told her...I guess. I mean, there was no reason not to. EDI just wanted us to keep tight lipped," HK said, not seeming too worried. "Which...well, whatever Shepard's reaction is, I'm glad that we didn't say anything. EDI had a point about us respecting her wishes like she, and the rest of the crew, respected ours. It's weird to look at all this from any point of view but our own."

"Truuuue."

In no time, EDI walked out of the medical bay in her new, shiny body. It was even more beautiful and graceful in person. Before she walked away, I almost imagined that she winked.

I started at the empty space, dumbfounded. "Uhh... okay. Joker's going to have some very naughty dreams after he sees her. Just saying."

"Oh dear...well, we knew that was coming. Apparently Cerberus didn't want to make an ugly AI," HK remarked with a deep breath. Shepard and Garrus emerged behind her, looking a little surprised themselves. I could almost feel HK tense. "Oh boy...what do you think we're in for now?"

"Trouble," I replied.

And then Trouble came to us.

Shepard didn't look any worse for wear except for a cut on the bottom of her lip. Garrus looked even bigger and more imposing in his set of armor - I had to admit, though, I liked the old set better. "That's what you were keeping quiet about?" Shepard demanded.

I shrugged and winced at the same time. "Surpriiiise?"

"Indeed," Garrus said, looking us up and down. "Shepard mentioned you were back. Huh."

"Primarch Victus is in the War Room?" I asked Shepard.

She nodded. "There's something else. You need to know."

The way she said that made me a little nervous. Was there a reason she wasn't murdering us, yet? "Okay?"

"We met Sarah on Menae," Shepard said.

I blinked. "That's great!"

HK's expression suddenly looked a lot more joyful than it had in awhile. "Well, that's fantastic! Wow, I was wondering where she could've been...finally. I'm glad we found her early on," he said, looking very, very relieved. "Kind of ironic she ended up with the turians...good to see you, too, Garrus. I know that these are weird and bad circumstances, but it's good to see you."

He looked around. "Where is Sarah, then? Is there a reason you didn't bring her down here? How was she?" he inquired curiously.

"She's dead," Garrus said. "Sorry."

And then the world wasn't as happy and joyful anymore. "Wait, what?" I asked.

"She ran off when the husks attacked the camp," Garrus said, rolling his neck a little. "She and the soldier chasing after her were attacked by a Harvester. There was an avalanche."

"It was either dig out her corpse or grab Victus," Shepard said. I couldn't look at her, only at the table. "I'm sorry."

I gripped the edge of the table and tried to think straight. "Oh," I said.

"Well...I..." HK stuttered, not saying too much. I couldn't look at him, either, so I had no clue how he looked. He sounded shocked. "Obviously, that...wasn't in our visions. So...there's no way she survived? There was no way that you could've saved her?"

"If we'd gone back... I don't know," Shepard said. I had the feeling she was being honest. "I'm sorry."

I shook my head. "Okay," I said in a hollow sort of voice. "Thanks."

"It was a warzone down there," Garrus said. "Casualties were in the millions."

"I understand. Thanks."

"I'm sorry...I know...I know that you both watched so many people get killed...and I know that you can't always save everybody...it's just..." HK stammered, not really able to articulate what he was trying to say. "You...you generally find a way...but this was different. You had to rescue the Primarch...I know it was hard. It's just...this is the second time we've experienced this..."

"She won't just 'come back?'" Shepard asked. I imagined her with her raised eyebrow.

"I sincerely doubt it," I said flatly.

"No...well, I don't think so. We may have come back, but...we're not immortal, Commander. Was she...did you see her before this happened? How was she?" HK asked curiously; I could hear him starting to choke up, but trying to keep his composure.

"She claimed to hear the husks and the Reapers talking to her last I saw her," Garrus said. "We left. Next thing I know, General Corinthus tells us that she's run off and buried under a pile of rubble. It would have been... quick."

Liar, I thought.

"I need to go do some... calibrations," Garrus said to Shepard. "And maybe drink myself to sleep. It's been a rough week."

"Do what you need to," Shepard said.

Garrus retreated down the hallway. I heard the door to the gun battery open and close.

I refused to look at Shepard. I felt betrayed, and I knew I didn't have a right to. I wish I knew who upset me more: Shepard, or Sarah. "You two will stay in the observation deck for tonight," Shepard said. "We'll see about getting you some permanent sleeping arrangements soon. Our next stop is the Citadel. Primarch Victus wants to meet with the turian councilor before the summit."

"Okay," I said.

"This is no time for calibrations," I heard HK mutter, almost sounding bitterly. He took a deep breath. "Yes, of course, Commander...t-thank you. Be sure to...visit Kaidan while you're there. He'll be feeling a little better. And there will probably be some other things that you'll need to pay attention to...I can't really think straight right now, I'm sorry."

Shepard lingered for a moment longer, but when it became clear that neither of us would be talking anymore, she left it as is. I heard the elevator open and close and assumed that she'd left. Where to, I didn't particularly know nor care.

"Let's go to our new room," I said bitterly, standing up. I grabbed my dirty plates and put them in the dishwasher.

HK did the same, seeming very...emotionless, but almost on the verge of bitterness as well. As we walked back to our new quarters, or our temporary quarters, he began to whisper. "They're so...callous about it. I am trying to understand where they're coming from, I really am, but...I mean, it almost feels like they left her to die. She never even got a fair chance. She's...gone again. That quick."

We kept walking, and soon were back on the Observatory deck. "Is this Shepard's form of getting back at us for the whole Kaidan thing?" he blurted out, frustrated.

"I don't know," I said, shaking my head. I was so angry my fingers were twitching. I wanted to hit something. "I don't know what happened. I don't know the circumstances. Why she could hear the Reapers. I don't know. But she won't be on the Normandy to help us anymore. It's just you and me now."

"_Again_," HK finished, sitting down on one of the couches, looking exasperated. "This feels like déjà vu. We already had to do this once, dang it...I know a lot of the crew, maybe even Shepard and Garrus, didn't think that Sarah...well, was that capable. But...she meant so much to us, and she actually did help...I'm glad we have each other, but how can we do this without her? It...won't be the same."

I shook my head. "And all we know is what Shepard told us," I muttered, and immediately winced. "I shouldn't have said that. She wouldn't lie. I don't think so, anyway. But I'm mad. There had to be another way. Or did she act like a bitch to Sarah when she met her and that's why she ran off?"

"I...don't know. I'd like to think better than Shepard of that," HK said. He was still trying to not let his emotions out of hand; he often did that, I believed. "But...well, if she greeted her like she greeted me...well, I could see it putting Sarah off. But she's Shepard...there had to be a way that she could've rescued her and still gotten Victus out alive. She's used to these things."

"Maybe it was an Ashley-Kaidan situation," I said. "She seemed to think Sarah died in the avalanche before she'd even checked."

"Could be...I mean, Shepard's not some heartless killer. We have to remember that we know her. She...she would've saved her if she could. Maybe there was no chance, maybe it was like that general said...if the avalanche was that bad, maybe she died already..." HK said, trying to rationalize everything. "I don't even know. Part of me just wants to be so mad, and another part of me knows it isn't right. We've done so much, though. I know she doesn't think we have, and yeah, we let Kaidan get injured, but...we've tried so hard to save everyone that we can."

I didn't want to think of it anymore, and instead tried to focus on the present. The observation window showed a brilliant view of the galaxy streaking by, and in the low light the place could almost be homey. It was cold, though. We'd need blankets... and pillows. And there were no beds, just a couple of couches to lounge around on. What was the military value of this, anyway?

"EDI, are there any extra blankets or pillows around here?" I asked.

"There is a compartment to your seven o'clock," EDI replied.

"Thanks." I found it and brought out the necessities. "It'll be like a big sleepover!" I said mockingly. "Only you're a guy, and I'm not allowed to have sleepovers with guys."

"Well...I'm not really allowed to have sleepovers with girls...not anymore, at least. But, well, we always slept in the same quarters last time," HK said, trying to force a smile, but I could tell that his mind was still on Sarah. "You know, speaking of which...are those still here? Did the Alliance remove them, too?"

"I peeked in. It looks like the Alliance was using that room as a storage space or something. A lot of wires. No beds."

"That's...kind of sad," he noted. Probably aiming for as much small talk as possible. "So...after tonight, do you think we'll be sent off to the crew quarters? Separate ones? You to the girls, me to the guys?"

"That would suck," I said. "I don't like people."

"I don't think she's going to make special room for us this time, and there...really isn't any," HK remarked, then sighing. "This time is going to be different, really? Even stuff like that, it makes a difference. I mean, not that I expected this to be exactly the same, but still. What will the Alliance people think of us? The last crew warmed up to us after awhile...I dunno about this time, though."

"Did I mention I'm the co-pilot?" I said lightly. "I wonder when Joker will let them know he was lying."

"Speaking of him," HK began. "How is he, uh, taking this? I mean, I know he's probably not taking it peachy, but I know that you and him were rather close. Closer than he and I were, anyway; I just saw him on the way in. He didn't look at me, and we didn't say anything to each other. I don't know what he thinks of all of this, though I'm sure EDI has provided him updates."

"I think he's too busy staring at EDI's metal boobs to pay much attention to us down here," I said grumpily, throwing a pillow on to one of the couches.

The lights flickered.

"So you are watching," I accused.

Joker didn't answer. He probably didn't want us to forget it, though.

I sighed angrily. "Let's just go to sleep," I muttered, kicking off my shoes. "Hopefully we can get some new clothes on the Citadel and get things fixed up with Shepard."

"That would be...good. We have to keep going," HK said to me, and he almost seemed to go off into a daze as he began to lie down. Then I heard him whisper again, probably to himself. "_We have to keep going_."

"It'll be okay," I said. "Everything's gonna be alright."

* * *

><p>Our next stop was the Citadel. It actually didn't take long to get there and dock - maybe four hours - but just because we were there didn't mean any of us were ready to get off the ship. We had to catch up on some sleep, and the Citadel was on its night cycle as well. EDI woke us up at 0800 hours and we waited in line like everybody else to take a shower. Then, as we sat down and ate the breakfast we made ourselves, HK and I began to discuss the next course of action.<p>

We were interrupted by EDI, who told us that we were wanted on Deck Two. She didn't say why. Part of me was hoping we could get out some. Or maybe Shepard was going to make us announce to the entire ship what our deal was.

HK and I took the elevator up, giving each other a bracing look. My hair was still wet - I'd tied it back into a ponytail, but I didn't want to wait in another line for the hair dryer. We'd really lost a lot of the comfort we'd had on the last Normandy.

We met Garrus in the cockpit. Joker and EDI were at their stations. No sign of Shepard. "What do you need?" I asked.

"You're coming with me into the Presidium to buy some weapons and armor," Garrus said bracingly. "And don't run off on me, okay?"

"That's good, but where's Shepard?" I asked.

"She and the Primarch already left," Joker said, standing up awkwardly. He stretched, and I heard bones pop. I wondered if he slept in his seat.

That surprised me. Somehow, I'd been expecting to see her before we left.

"Ah," HK said with a slight nod. He still seemed a little...off, but we both were; we were trying to shove past it and focus on other things, but I could tell that Sarah was still at the forefront of his mind. He looked back and forth from Joker to Garrus. "So, if we're buying weapons and armor...does that mean Shepard actually wants us to accompany her on missions again? Or not?"

"She probably just wants to make sure that you put up a good fight when you finally turn on her," Joker said bitterly.

"That's harsh," I said. "Thanks."

"No problem."

"Shepard motivations are unclear, but I would infer that HK is correct," EDI said. Her voice became a bit more condescending. "Whatever Jeff's personal preferences may be."

HK gave a look to Joker that almost looked offended, but he then seemed to shrug it off. He looked at EDI. "Thanks, EDI," he said. "You know, we're not going to turn on anybody...we're actually here to help. I know it seems weird, but we are. Whatever that means to you all. EDI, how's your new body?"

"In comparison to the Normandy, it is disappointing," EDI said. "But it will hold up well against any ground attack. I 'like' it."

I grinned. "Glad to hear it. Are you and Joker going to go hang out around the Presidium?"

"Yes," said EDI. "I would like to run some other tests a distance away that I believe will be beneficial."

"I'm sure you two will have fun," HK commented, lightly smiling at EDI, though it still seemed a little forced. "It is still kinda weird to adjust to you actually having a body, and not just looking at a holographic interface, but...I like it. And I'm pretty sure you will adjust to it, in time."

He stopped for a moment. "And, if any of you guys see Shepard, tell her...thanks, for letting us out for a little while."

"Come on, let's go," Garrus said, ushering us out. We followed him through the airlock and into bay D24. It was bigger than I remembered, all cool metal and large viewports. A quasar game in the lounge, which was full of people. Avina was in the corner. A lone Keeper wove his way in and out the jumble of legs to his post.

"We're taking the elevator up to the Presidium Commons," Garrus said. "We'll do our shopping there and grab some food. If we have time, I want to swing by the refugee camp and see how things are progressing."

"Sounds good," HK said, looking around and taking in the sights as well. Even in D24, there were still swarms of people everywhere, and you could hear a lot of discussion about the war, amongst soldiers who were leaving, visitors in the lounge area...it was all over. "So, um, Garrus...how're you? How've you been in the past six months or so? It's nice to see you again."

HK sounded a little awkward, but he was just trying to make conversation and be nice, probably.

"It's been rough," he said with a sigh. "I was put in charge of a task force. You know, just some anti-Reaper countermeasures. Stocked up on food, weapons, early warning devices... But the Reapers are doing some serious damage. Victus is right. If we don't have the krogan on our side, we might as well just hand the system over."

We took the elevator up to the Presidium. The elevator buttons weren't as slimmed down as in the game - there had to be over two hundred floors, a divider in the buttons distinguishing the Presidium from everything else. We then took a cab to the Commons, and we were quiet. Garrus was fiddling with a datapad and didn't seem too intent on paying us any attention until we got there. I looked out the window, awed by the sheer size of the place. I couldn't remember having such a good view.

"Wow," I murmured.

Garrus paid the cab driver and put the datapad away. "Over here."

We fell into line behind him and followed him to a store clerk situated outside of C-Sec. He was a bored-looking salarian dressed in a light blue frock. "Credentials?" he asked.

Garrus handed him the datapad. "Here."

The salarian thumbed through it, looked at us once, and nodded. "Okay, it clears."

I held out my hand for the datapad and tried not to look surprised when he gave it to me. HK and I both had fake IDs, and a small line at the bottom took away all confusion.

_Certified to buy Grade Three materials in Council Space by the Special Tactics and Reconnaissance office._

I handed the datapad back to Garrus, feeling pretty happy with myself. We were back.

"We need the full set," Garrus said. "Something lighter for the girl, heavier for him. We're looking for good shields and an onboard medical VI. Standard Alliance fare."

The salarian - I was going to nickname him Sunny - went through a catalogue with Garrus. It was obvious the turian was in charge, because the salarian directed all questions and concerns to him. He didn't refer to us by name, only 'the boy' and 'the girl.'

Eventually, he had us come around back and took out an old fashioned tape measure. He pointed at HK. "You first. Spread your arms and legs out, stare straight ahead."

"Alright," HK said with a nod, and began to stretch out his arms, and then his legs; he stared straight ahead, the stretched position that he was in looked a little funny, I couldn't help but admit. I almost giggled. HK stood there, as still as a rock, while Sunny measured him.

"I didn't know that tape measures were still used," HK commented, chuckling. "No offense."

"I could spend twenty grand on a body scanner to do it, but they tend to make incorrect measurements around the groin," he said brusquely.

"Well we wouldn't want HK walking around with an incorrect measurement," I said before I could stop myself.

I suspected that I would've gotten a glare if HK didn't have to stare straight ahead. "...gee, thanks. Well, good thing we have the tape measure, then," he remarked with an obvious tone of sarcasm.

I was smiling, but I knew that my turn was coming up. Sunny the salarian wrote down numbers on a piece of paper to the side and beckoned me to stand in front of him. "Spread your arms and legs and stare straight ahead."

I sighed heavily and did what I was told. His hands rarely touched me and he didn't look as though he were enjoying himself, so I tried to make myself relax. I'd always had an issue with people I didn't know touching me.

After we were done, Garrus bought us our armament - the names flowed too fast for me to discern, but it sounded like HK and I were getting a sidearm and an assault rifle.

Garrus wouldn't let us take the weapons from the vender from there. He wouldn't even let us take the armor. Instead, he signed a couple of papers and had the goods shipped to the Normandy where, hopefully, they would be in less than an hour. I was glad to be done with the fittings and all that. The salarian was a nice enough guy, but there are just certain people you don't want measuring your breasts.

Garrus took us to Apollo's Cafe. I didn't see Liara - perhaps she was with Shepard as well. I didn't remember this being a part of the game, the Primarch wanting to meet with the Councilor. Once again, it was the small things that surprised me.

Garrus didn't order anything, but HK and I were ravenous. As we ate in silence, Garrus leaned back in his chair and cycled through entries on his datapad. He wasn't very talkative, and I could guess why. The loss of Palaven had to be devastating.

I didn't belong in this world. I could sympathize, but I would never have the same attachment to things that the characters in this world did. Garrus and Shepard would be shrouded in memories of their home worlds. Garrus actually grew up on Palaven – it had to be horrible for him.

I would never, ever know the pain he felt.

Eventually Garrus put down the datapad. "We need to talk," he said. "About everything." He held up one three-fingered hand. "I'm not going to make you spill. I don't want that right now. We need to talk about how you're holding up."

His small, intense blue eyes stared holes through us from across the table.

I nodded, folding my hands carefully in my lap. "Okay."

"What happened on Palaven wasn't Shepard's fault," he said. "It'd… benefit the rest of us if you act mature about it."

"Were we not?" I asked.

"I'm not saying you didn't," Garrus said. "But it's the small things that count. I'm not saying you need to treat the Commander like an old buddy or congratulate her for leaving Sarah, but you need to flip the situation around. Think about what it was like for her."

"I...understand," HK said, who had been strangely silent until that point. "I try really hard to; I know that Shepard's not a heartless killer and that she would've done everything she possibly could've, and I know we're not in any place to act all uppity, but still...it hurts. We've known Sarah for a long, long time, and aside from you all? She's the only one we have. It just hurts...especially to go through this again, and to know that Shepard could've saved her, but I'm _trying_ not to blame her."

I nodded. "Yeah, I know. I'm not… _mad_ at her. She did what she had to do. I guess… I'm just disappointed." I looked away. "I'd been hoping the three of us would be together again."

"Sorry," Garrus said. "Look, I'm not even completely sure how you guys are _here._ When I saw Sarah the first thing I wanted to do is pull a gun on her. Shepard won't say anything yet, but I think she trusts you. You're still you. I don't know how, or why, but I suppose we should be thankful you're back. You just come in at crappy times. Even so," he continued, "this is going to be bigger than anything we've done before. Killing the Collectors just held them off for a bit. I think we all knew it was inevitable."

"We killed Sovereign," I pointed out. "So the galaxy knows they're mortal."

"But they're damn hard to take down," Garrus said. "You didn't see Palaven."

"I've never been in a war before," I said. "The only action I've had was with you guys six or so months ago. The only thing I have to bring to the table is what I know. What _we_ know." I elbowed HK. "I'm afraid to go out again," I admitted. "But I'm more afraid of the Reapers – of Harbinger. And I want them dead."

"The Reapers are a little unpredictable, even for us, and very intimidating; we may have more information, but that doesn't stop their power. Remembering that all this is really happening is a scary thought," HK commented sincerely. He sounded like he was slowly getting over the initial shock of Sarah's death, and any of his own resentment to the crew was starting to wear off.

"We're going to do our best," Garrus said. "And now that Shepard's finally got the free reign she's always wanted, well, I think we're set. We'll kick some ass and live to argue over the remains later."

"Hopefully," HK added. "There's...a lot of work to be done. More than before."

I shifted uncomfortably. "What does Shepard think?" I asked. "About… uh, Sarah. About that."

Garrus sighed. "If you're ever in a situation where you have to choose between me or Shepard, who would you choose?"

I frowned. "That's not fair." A childish thing to say. But true. HK didn't add anything, I noticed.

"She's had to make those choices before. It still haunts her. She never talks about any of it. I watched her agonize over _three paragraphs_ for a day after Ashley died. Go back to the last scenario. Could you send _that letter_ to my family?"

I nodded, biting my lip. "I admire her," I admitted. "She's a strong woman. She's suited for this. It's funny, though… I don't really know much of her life before all of this. She was a spacer kid and her mother is still alive, but that's about it."

"Our visions only gave us a basic rundown of her life," HK explained.

"Maybe it's better you don't know that story," Garrus said carefully. "If you haven't looked it up now, I wouldn't. It's personal. Elysium… was a bad memory. As far as I know, she's never been back."

"The batarians attacked it, but that's about all I know," I said.

I had to give Garrus credit. When HK and I didn't know something the rest of the galaxy did, he never held it against us. He knew that we weren't lazy. _He must have his own theories about us_, I thought to myself. Our gaps of knowledge about regular galactic events were too jarring to not think about it a bit.

"Not a lot of people are going to come out of this alive," Garrus said. "In case I'm not around one day to steer you back on track, I want the both of you to take this to heart: if Shepard gets one of you killed, you can't hold it against her. Like now, with Sarah. This time it was Sarah's fault. Next time, it might just be circumstance. Like with Ashley and Kaidan. And you'll need to let it go, because she never will."

* * *

><p>"Take time to be sure, but be sure not to take too much time."<p>

**-**** Unknown**

Shepard took a seat next to Kaidan's bed and passed over the wine bottle she'd picked up earlier. "I bought you this," she said. "A little pick-me-up for the next time we saw each other."

Kaidan actually laughed. "Hey, Shepard, thanks," he said. He put it on the table next to him. "That'll taste good later on."

"We're not going to crack it open now?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I want to talk to you first." Kaidan shifted a little in his bed. His right eye, the one closest to her, was still swollen shut. He had to prop himself up on his elbows just to turn his head and look at her with his good eye. "Drinks will take away some of the awkwardness, yeah, but… I want to actually _talk_ to you this time."

She nodded. "Yeah… I think that'd be for the best." She steepled her fingers and rested her chin on them. "You almost died on my watch, Kaidan. It was horrible."

"Yeah, but you got me out, and that counts for something," he said. "Look… stuff happens. We're not going to escape casualties in this fight."

"I know."

"And you can't worry about me, either," he said. "I appreciate everything you did – hell, I'm glad you did it. But if this thing had swung the other way, Shepard, I don't want you to tear yourself up over it. I'd want you to move on."

Shepard swallowed. "Yeah, I – okay. Thanks."

"Though I guess you have moved on, haven't you?" Kaidan said, a bit too lightly. "I mean, I was there for Doctor Chakwas's debrief."

Shepard felt as if a hand were clenching her heart tight in her chest. Jacob. She hadn't seen him in months. She could only stay silent – his anger, if he had some, would be justifiable.

"Though I suppose I shouldn't take it personally," Kaidan continued. "I was a bit of a jerk to you on Horizon. I think I was right about Cerberus… but not about you. I should've known better. I've had a lot of time to stew over it."

"I had a lot of time, too," she said quietly.

"Huh." Kaidan's voice was like music – he always had something sweet to say, but his silences were equally eloquent.

"I guess that leaves the question of where we stand," Shepard finished.

"Yeah, I guess it does."

She looked out the window. Everything looked so calm and peaceful out there. There wasn't a war going on, not really. She'd like to believe the lie. But the tension in the room was thick and palpable. Shepard was always careful not to cross into personal territory during negotiations. She always tried to detach, look for the best alternative from a different point of view. Personal lives and emotions were muddied.

She'd never been a romantic. Never much reason to try.

"I want you back on the Normandy when you're recovered," Shepard said. "However this goes, I want you with me. We need you."

"I want to be there," he said. "Udina's pushing me to take another job, though. I kinda wanted to talk to you about that." He shifted uncomfortably and looked away. His index finger tapped out an unsteady beat on his crossed arms. "He left a couple of minutes before you got here. He's pushing for me to be a Spectre."

"Oh." Like Kaidan, Shepard knew how to say a lot with nothing.

"It's a big honor, I guess. He's trying really hard. Hell, he even made my résumé himself. Wants to forward it to the other three and push for it. But he can't force it on me if I don't want it, and I'm not saying I don't, either. I just want opinions."

"I can't tell you whether or not to take the job, Kaidan."

"Yeah, but you have know what I don't," he said. "You're the first human Spectre. The freedom must be… nice."

"They tend to revoke my status a lot when I'm not looking," Shepard said with a shrug. "It was useful during our time together. I didn't get squat when I was with Cerberus, though. Nobody cares if you're a Spectre on Omega. Apparently I'm a Spectre again now, too. Once again, nobody told me they'd revoked it."

"So you've been given Spectre status three times," Kaidan said with a laugh. "It's funny how the value of that seems to diminish each time they dole it out."

"The freedom is nice," Shepard said. "It'll get you into places you normally can't. You're at the top of the command chain as well. It's lovely. But then you need to realize that you're subjugating yourself to the laws of the Council as well as the Alliance. You're going to be tested."

"Yeah, I know," Kaidan said with a sigh. "I thought about that, too."

"I can't choose it for you, Kaidan," she said. "But I'll say that I'm not any worse off."

"You're a special case," he said, a chuckle escaping his lips. "But yeah, I see what you're saying. I'll think about it some more."

"Udina will want an answer fast," Shepard said.

"I know, I know."

"Hey." She took his hand and began to massage the palm with her thumbs. "Relax."

"Hey, yourself," he said. "Shouldn't you be out there saving the galaxy?"

"I chose to see you," she said simply.

Shepard wanted to lean over and kiss him, run her hands through his hair, and forget all about Jacob. But she couldn't. Maybe he was expecting it – maybe he wanted to. He was the first person she'd ever fallen pretty hard for, after all. They'd never 'officially' split up, but… there was a lot of stuff she didn't have answers for. It was confusing.

He sighed. "I don't want to make stuff hard for you."

_Too late. You exist_. "I should be apologizing for Jacob," she said quietly, "but I can't."

She couldn't look at him.

"Huh. I guess I shouldn't have expected anything along those lines," Kaidan said. "For a while I was angry. And then… I dunno. I figure I've spent too much time being angry at you because external circumstances forced you to do other things."

"Horizon didn't force me to choose Jacob," she said.

"No, I wasn't going to say that," Kaidan said. "But the Collectors killed you. Cerberus brought you back. When I first heard you were alive, that you were with them… I couldn't believe it at first. And then I had proof you were alive. It was there, in my hands, and I-I got angry. I wanted you court-martialed and sent away somewhere out of my sight."

"When did things change?"

"Maturity," he said. "Some pretty tough talks with Anderson."

_I owe him a lot more than he'd ever admit._ It seemed even now, separated by unfathomable distances, Anderson was still helping her out, making her life easier. "He's a good man," she said.

"Yeah," he sighed. "He is."

"I don't know what I want anymore, Kaidan," she sighed. "I've never stopped loving you. But the situation's changed."

"Yeah. So…"

"I know. I don't know."

"Okay." He swallowed loudly. She didn't want to look up. She didn't want to see him hurt. "Look, whatever happens, I'm going to stand with you. I'll be your subordinate, your friend, or something more. It's your choice. I can wait."

"You shouldn't have to. But… thanks. I appreciate it."

He chuckled. "Maybe we should have these talks more often – it's not every day you look like you got your hand caught in the cookie jar."

She raised her head and glared at him, but it was halfhearted. "Very funny, Alenko."

"It's true," he said gently. He shifted again. She wondered if the hospital bed was uncomfortable, or if it was just the situation. "So bring me up to speed. I want to know everything. Start with Abby, go from there."

"It'll be easier if you tell me what _you _know about Abby," she said. "I just want to know how much I have to actually fill in."

"Doctor Chakwas said you kept the three of them because they had some inside information on Cerberus," he said. "Other than that, she was pretty quiet. I think she was waiting for you to give her some sort of direction."

Chakwas was a smart woman who knew what was at stake. Her silence had probably helped her case without her knowing it. "Okay. So, I don't really know most of it myself. But it's difficult not to believe them when you get down to it." She looked at him. "You're going to think I'm insane."

"Try me," he said, meeting her lopsided grin with his own.

Good, at least he was willing to listen.

"Abby, Sarah, and HK showed up in the Normandy's cargo bay without warning," she said. "EDI couldn't pinpoint how they got aboard. EDI is also an artificial intelligence."

She paused, waiting to see how he would take that. When he saw she was waiting for a reply, he merely nodded shortly.

"The three of them claimed to see the future through prophetic dreams they'd received beforehand," she said. "The tiniest details, from the layout of a battlefield to how my choices would reflect on the world around me. They were pretty convincing. I became attached to them. HK and Abby would accompany me as part of the ground team. They weren't trained, but they were clever. It kept them alive more often than not."

"Chakwas said Sarah stayed on the ship a lot."

"She wasn't a fighter. She would have gotten us all killed. I kept her there. She… had a tendency to think about herself a lot during missions. I had a feeling that she'd run off and disobey direct orders. I couldn't risk it. She became a janitor."

"That's rough."

"Abby and HK built up a good relationship with Jacob, Zaeed, and Garrus. The three of them took turns training them during downtime. Sarah bit Jacob, and then refused to continue training. So I refused to let her go planet side. Abby had taken some form of martial arts previously, and HK got the hang of things pretty quickly. Even so, Grunt kicked their asses on a regular basis."

"He was the genetically-engineered krogan, right?"

"Yes. He relished the fight. I never realized how restrained Wrex was until I met him. He was always spoiling for a fight. Zaeed was a bounty hunter. He and Abby hit it off well. I think he started to think of himself as her surrogate parent before she died. I didn't think a death could affect him so deeply."

Kaidan snorted. "That's weird. She looked young."

"Yeah. She brought out the protective side in him. But that's not the craziest relationship. HK and Jack got together." She shook her head. "I'm still not entirely sure how that happened. I think she was attracted to his innocence. But he was a very moral young man. I think she liked him for uncompromising those morals were."

"I met Jack," he said unexpectedly. "She's a piece of work." In response to her questioning look, he said, "I gave her a job. She's at Grissom Academy right now taking care of their biotics. Anderson pushed for it before he stepped down as Councilor."

Shepard nodded. "That's what they told me. That's our next stop."

"So why are you here?" Kaidan asked.

"Primarch Victus needed to meet with the turian Councilor. Something about the passing-down of important documents. Secret stuff, I don't know."

"I hate politics," he said.

_And I came for you._ "When HK died, Jack was devastated. I _think_ she truly loved him. It's sad, but I'm glad that she found some type of stability. If we hadn't been there, it might have unhinged her. And meanwhile, Sarah and Kasumi were getting close. Kasumi was the stabilizing element. She was a sweet, kind soul. She listened. I think the reason Sarah and I didn't have as close a relationship as we could have is because I couldn't take the time out to listen about her problems."

"Doctor Chakwas had nothing but good things to say about her," he said.

Shepard grinned. "Yeah – she's been a good friend."

"So tell me more," he said. "I feel like I've been missing out on a lot."

"Well," she said, "the three of them just slid into place on the Normandy. They were frustrating as hell and sometimes I just wanted to kick them off of the ship altogether, but they became family. I started to care. Once, the Collectors lured Abby and HK into an alley on Ilium and took them from me. They were taken to Helyme and _observed_. It took all of us to break them out. I didn't really have a handle on their mortality until then. They spent a week recovering. It was brutal."

"But they got better."

"They recovered. We had a birthday party for Abby. And then the Reapers planted a trap in my room. Sarah brought my clothes upstairs, and then she was dead. The Reapers had experimented with a trapped tarantula one of the Cerberus researches had. Long story short, it ripped out her throat and part of the stinger lodged inside her. When the Collectors attacked the ship, her body was already showing signs of husk adaptation. HK had food poisoning and was staying in the medical bay while the entire ground team was in the shuttle to go somewhere else. Sarah's body got up, knocked him out, and took him back to the ship before Joker could save them." She sighed. "I had to protect Abby from Jack. She knew it would happen, and Jack knew she knew."

"Did she tell you beforehand?" Kaidan asked.

"No. They thought I would do my best to change it. They were against changing anything they saw in their dreams because they couldn't account for the outliers. I suppose I understand now. I had some difficulty back then. We went as fast as we could. Rescued HK, split up into teams to take down the Reaper…"

She had to stop to get a hold of herself. She took a steadying breath. "This was on the Collector base, wasn't it?" Kaidan asked.

"Yeah. It was. We split into groups. Abby came with me and two others. The rest held the line. HK sacrificed himself to save Mordin. And the Reaper they were making? When it woke up, it staggered Abby. She couldn't control herself. While I fought the ground troops, she was walking to the edge of the platform."

"To do what?" he asked quietly.

"I knew something had gone wrong," Shepard said. "I knew Harbinger was trying to break her and I knew it hadn't worked. So they were going to make her kill herself. I can't tell you how high up we were. She wouldn't have survived."

"And did she… jump?"

"Somebody grabbed her. Zaeed, I think. Jacob pushed Harbinger over the edge. Then Zaeed was thrown one way, Jacob the other, and I was pinned down… there was nothing I could've done. I tried. I tried to get to her."

"Hey, hey… it's okay. It's okay." His hand was on her shoulder, rubbing it with his thumb. Why was he comforting her? She didn't even deserve it. "What matters now is they made it. They did, right?"

"They're back, yeah," Shepard said, clearing her throat. "Yeah. I suppose they did. Abby never heard the communication that HK was dead, but I think she guessed before she died. And… It's stupid, but when Abby died… she told me something else. I can't let it go."

"What did she tell you?" Kaidan asked softly.

Shepard shook her head. "I'm sorry. I just… I don't really want to talk about that." She put a hand on his own and gripped it, forcing a smile. "It's weird. They're back, and I can't stop thinking about how they died."

"They must've been a hell of a troop," he said. "Did you really believe the psychic theory?"

Shepard was careful to answer that one. "I believe that _they_ believe in the psychic theory," she said. "And I believe in them. Last time you were on the ship, Abby had just appeared. She'd run some story by the guards in front of the building and got through to Anderson. HK shadowed you in the hospital until I came to visit the first time. Sarah… was on Palaven."

"And they're just… alive? No explanation?"

"HK and Abby I trust. I was afraid Sarah might've been a special circumstance. She claimed to hear Reaper voices whispering in her head. Not a good sign." She sighed. "As I was rescuing General Victus, she ran off and got herself killed. It was either I go back and dig her body out of six meters of rubble in the middle of a battlefield, or I grab one of the only hopes left for the turian people."

Kaidan's gripped intensified. "I'm sorry."

"Abby and HK weren't pleased. They understand the motivations behind it, but I think they're grieving. I think they might be holding me responsible. Garrus said he'd speak with them."

"Garrus is good at diffusing time bombs," Kaidan said. "You can't let it get to you. But what I don't get is… where'd they come from? It's not like you to let people you don't know on to the ship."

"I know. It's not like me at all," Shepard said. "I wish I knew more. But I don't want to ask. I just have this feeling that there's more to them than meets the eye, but I can't quite comprehend it. They don't scream 'Reapers' though, so that's good. They seem to genuinely want to help. And the more I think about it, the more _right_ they seem to be."

"That's familiar talk, Shepard," Kaidan said. "You sure they're not pulling your leg, just a little bit?"

"It's not indoctrination," Shepard said, shaking her head. "I'd feel it. I think. I don't know. But EDI's convinced, too. Joker. Chakwas. Garrus, even. If they're lying, they got a lot of smart people to believe them."

"I guess I'd have to experience it for myself," Kaidan said. "But be careful, Shepard. You shouldn't get too attached to it."

"Like I shouldn't have gotten too attached to you?" she shot back.

"I dunno… I kinda liked it when you were attached to me," he said.

_Don't engage_. "Do you have family back on Earth, Kaidan?" she asked, picking his hand off of her shoulder so she could continue to massage it.

"Yeah," he said, suddenly sober. "My parents. They lived in the Vancouver area… I haven't heard anything yet. But I hope my dad's Alliance training kept them safe. I know they have to be worried about me." He sighed. "What about you? You never talk about your family much."

"An uncle on my mom's side and a cousin," she said. "But we were never close. I don't even know what country they were in."

"Do you ever regret it?" he asked. "Not being close to them?"

"I regret a lot of things," she said. "But the… deterioration of the relationship wasn't my fault."

"What was?"

"They never forgave me for not saving my father on Elysium," she said simply. "The hate there is too bitter. If I told him to run, he would have stayed right where he was. If I told him to stay, he would have run. I gave up reasoning with him. The only reason I'd care if he was alive at this point is because he still had my dad's old photo album. But I don't consider him family."

"That's harsh," Kaidan said. "You never told me any of that."

"I didn't think I'd have to," she said with a sigh. "But there's life. Stuff happens, and then you flush."

She knew Kaidan would want to ask more questions about her father and was glad when he didn't. "You're a complicated woman," he said.

The alarm on her omni-tool went off, signifying the end of the conversation. "I have to go to another meeting," she said, standing. She was still holding his hand. "I'm glad that you're alive, Kaidan."

"Yeah, so am I," he said. "Hey, before you go, come here. I need to tell you something."

She leaned forward obediently to listen. To her surprise, Kaidan kissed her forehead. "I'm sorry for everything," he whispered intently, staring at her. "But I'm not sorry for that. I've wanted to hold you again for a long time. Just… let me know if I need to get over that feeling or not."

Shepard smiled, but inside she was churning. "Goodbye, Kaidan."

* * *

><p>"I've been keeping an eye on him," Thane was saying. They sat in a quieter section of the hospital, keeping out of people's way. "I'll continue to do so for you. Your enemies won't finish him off here."<p>

Shepard couldn't say no. Thane had gotten so much worse since she'd last seen him – he needed something to focus himself. Some menial task to make himself feel useful. He'd never say it directly, but Shepard was getting the impression that he was tired of staring at the same walls over and over.

"Thank you, Thane," she said. "I appreciate it."

"Who else is with you now?" Thane questioned.

"Liara T'Soni, Garrus, my guard from Earth," she said, ticking them off with her finger. "There was another development as well."

"Such as?"

"They're back. Sarah didn't make it off of Palaven, but HK and Abby are with Garrus right now buying equipment," Shepard said, watching his reaction carefully.

He blinked. "You're sure it's them?"

"Surprisingly… yes."

"Then take care of them, Commander," he said. "Whatever stroke of fate that returned them to you may not be so generous a second time."

"I know," she said. "Thank you. For not judging me."

"I never would," Thane said. He leaned forward, lowering his voice so only she could hear. "Kolyat visits me once a day. He's become better since you last saw him. He will linger around the hospital until I am dead, but once I do not anchor him here he may seek to place himself with you and the Normandy."

"Is this a warning, or a request not to let him aboard?" Shepard questioned.

"Merely information," he said. "Perhaps he will decide to do something else. But I would not be surprised if he decided to seek you out after I am gone."

"How long do you have?"

"My favorite doctor told me three months six months ago," Thane said with a chuckle. "If things do not seem to be progressing well, I've already left instructions for an email to be sent to you." He leaned away to cough – it sounded sick, but not like a death rattle.

"You take care, Thane. You've earned a rest."

She stood, and Thane looked up at her with a smile. "I am at peace with my life. Thank you, Amelia Shepard."


	9. Chapter 9

_"And this is why I hate politicians." _

**-Ashley Williams**

It had been confirmed that a summit of everyone with the authority to speak on behalf of their peoples would be meeting in a neutral location. But, like all good little politicians, they wanted to debate and squabble about the time.

Primarch Victus was busy talking to the Council and trying to convince the asari ambassador to attend the summit or send an asari representative in her place. But, as Shepard already knew, it seemed that the asari weren't going to budge anytime soon; they refused to get involved since there was a lot of bad blood between the krogan, the salarians and the turians. And apparently the asari wanted to remain neutral... or just stay out of everyone's hair. Shepard personally hated the decision – there were times when you had the luxury of whether or not to get into it. This wasn't that time; they had to get down and dirty like everybody else.

Primarch Victus had sent out a hail to Wrex, but he was currently delayed; Reaper forces had started appearing in the system, and the krogan were facing an organized assault near one of their female camps. Wrex was adamant it wouldn't take long, but he needed to coordinate better locations for the camps – somewhere more enclosed within male society. He and the clan leaders were in tight argument about that.

Meanwhile, the salarian Dalatrass was complaining to everyone that she was scheduled to meet Wrex and Primarch Victus and such and such a time, along with "the human Spectre", and no one else had arrived yet and she might as well pick up her hoity toity skirts and leave.

_Politicians._ Ash would have been throwing both her fists into the air by now.

And thus, while all of them were dealing with their issues-which the Commander assumed would take at least a day or two to finish sorting out-she wasn't going to sit by idly and wait for everyone to stop arguing. Traynor had something worthwhile to check out, and Shepard was going to see to it.

Of course, what she_ really_ wanted to do was to march into the room where the Council and Primarch Victus were arguing and tell them to shut the hell up and just send whoever was needed to the summit. But no, that was the one area outside of a Spectre's jurisdiction.

So Commander Amelia Shepard took her leave of the Citadel and returned to the _Normandy_. It was time to see what was going on at Grissom Academy.

As she walked away from the airlock, she heard Joker talking in the cockpit. Raising an eyebrow, Shepard turned and walked into the cockpit instead of away from it as she'd originally intended.

"Hey, Commander!" Joker exclaimed happily, spinning his chair to the side. "Check out my co-pilot!"

Shepard glanced off to the side and saw EDI seated in the co-pilot's chair. Her new body, rather. The Commander still wasn't certain about this, especially since the crew was_ still_ in the middle repairing systems all over the ship. It's turned out okay and EDI wasn't reporting any problems, but Shepard didn't like getting the cold shoulder.

She wasn't sure who she was more irritated at over that fact. Abby and HK, or EDI herself. Then again, she probably had to choose EDI from that list, because it was the AI's idea, and she had asked Abby and HK to keep their mouths shut. And EDI seemed grateful for that.

"Gee, Joker," Shepard commented lightly, folding her arms, "you're even more excited now than when we first came aboard the SR2 and you discovered the leather seats."

"Psh, they took out the leather," Joker complained, but he was still staring at the fem-bot with a delighted expression. "But this more than makes up for it. Just look at her!"

Shepard eyed him suspiciously. She needed to ask, just for peace of mind if nothing else. "So she installed herself into the new body without _any_ help from you?" Amelia asked.

Joker turned his chair around to face Shepard. "Come on, Commander, don't you trust me?"

The Commander merely raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, Commander," Joker said, half-turning his chair away to face the helm controls, "let me put it this way. If I knew that EDI was gonna install herself into a sexy robot body, do you honestly think I'd be able to keep quiet about it? Look at that!" He held up his hands in front of his face, using his fingers to frame her body. "I would have baked a cake!" he said giddily.

EDI's silver face turned ever so slightly in his direction. "I am right here, Jeff," she stated quietly. Either it was Shepard's imagination, or the android face looked just a little... awkward under Joker's scrutiny. Or perhaps she just didn't like her new body being talked about as if it was not present.

Or maybe EDI was simply practicing some humanistic protocols she'd developed after observing social interaction amongst organics. Could it be that she was just mimicking the behavior of feeling uncomfortable, or was it real?

"Yes you are, EDI," Joker acknowledged happily. "Yes you are."

Shepard came close to rolling her eyes. "We'll talk later," she told them both. She did want a chance to see how EDI was adjusting to her new body, but she had other pressing matters to attend to right now. Plus EDI still resided within the ship; she could be approached from anywhere, including the Captain's quarters.

"Shepard," EDI interjected, rising from her seat. Joker's eyes seemed to oogle her as she moved. "I would like to make a request."

"Yes?" Shepard asked.

"I would appreciate an opportunity to test this body's mobility and finesse in combat situations," EDI announced.

Amelia frowned. "You sure it's safe?" she asked.

"I have run multiple diagnostics, and it would appear to be," EDI acknowledged. "However, there is no way to test that unless I go with you on a mission." Her robotic eyes danced with brief emotion; she seemed to like the idea. "And wouldn't you agree that the sooner we test it, the better?"

Shepard sighed. "It _would_ alert us to any problems or glitches," she admitted. She considered for a moment. Abby and HK would have told her something if they thought there would be a problem – unless they were hoping for one.

Then again, that was part of the problem. They didn't mention anything about Kaidan getting hurt, either-no, it was time to let that go. Kaidan was alright.

Shepard realized that her current aggravation had nothing to do with that. It was that she had lost Sarah_ again. _And just like before, none of the psychics saw it coming and none of them could prevent it. What if the same thing happened to HK and Abby? What then?

"I must admit that I am looking forward to this," EDI was saying, bringing Shepard's attention back to the present. "It will be interesting, not to mention I... like having a fully functional body. If the _Normandy_ is ever boarded by enemies again, I will not be quite so helpless."

"Aw come on, EDI, we still kicked their asses," Joker said. "And we got the crew back, too."

"Yes, but now I will be able to fight back if any intruders come into the _Normandy_," EDI said. "It gives all of us an added advantage."

Shepard couldn't disagree with that. "Alright," she said. "Go down to the shuttle bay and get yourself ready; I'm taking you and James with me." It briefly crossed her mind to take Garrus with her instead of James, but she wanted to give her turian friend a chance to settle in and have a short break from fighting. She knew that the attack on Palaven hit him harder than he would like to admit... probably just as hard as the attack on Earth had hit her.

Not to mention that Garrus was the only person onboard right now-with the exception of Joker, EDI, Kenneth, Gabby and Chakwas-who knew Abby and HK the best. She trusted Garrus to keep an eye on them and to let her know if anything was amiss... or if they said anything. Apparently EDI was not entirely reliable at the moment, if the incident with the fem-bot was any indication. Yet hopefully that would only be a single, isolated incident that wouldn't happen again.

"Very well, Commander," EDI said. "I will not require any armor, but I will take a weapon or two." She then gave Shepard a meaningful look. "Will you be taking Abby or HK with you?" she asked curiously.

Amelia sighed. Right now, both of the two remaining psychics were in the medical bay, each getting a thorough examination from Chakwas. The doctor was still getting over the shock of seeing both of them alive again, but she had agreed that an examination was important.

In fact, apparently Chakwas was going to go all the way in this case; a thorough scan, and a hands-on examination. She was going to check some things the old-fashioned way just to make absolutely certain that nothing was interfering with scans, and that they were indeed HK and Abby, and that everything was fine.

Shepard never knew they weren't in their caskets. EDI hadn't mentioned anything because she hadn't noticed. The shock came during the tribunal, when Alliance brass asked her why there were two empty caskets on Five. At first she'd had the thought that maybe somebody had moved them to keep them out of Alliance hands, but those things had an anti-thief program built into it to prevent grave robbers. They hadn't been disturbed.

"I might," Shepard finally allowed. "Once Dr. Chakwas is finished giving them an examination."

"I believe she has finished HK's check over," EDI said. "Abby just went into the medical bay; HK is waiting in the mess hall if you wish to speak with him."

"Thanks," Shepard said, already moving. "I would."

* * *

><p><strong>(HK)<strong>

I sat in the mess hall after my examination by Chakwas. I was glad to have her back on the _Normandy_, because I preferred her vastly to Dr. Michel...but the whole thing was awkward. Not only was having a doctor examine you like that a little awkward, but even more so, our encounter at Huerta Memorial on the Citadel had left both of us pretty much ignoring each other until now. However, Chakwas seemed to have adjusted, and was back to her old self; hopefully the examination made it clear to her that we were who we said we were.

I was sitting in the mess hall, alone, eating a small snack. Abby was being examined now, and I couldn't really see what was going on in there...not that I wanted to.

The emptiness of the _Normandy_ was still jarring, even after being on it for a little while, but I felt that both Abby and I were adjusting. The trip to the Citadel was a positive sign; Shepard was going to let us go out again, it seemed. Maybe things were looking up.

Admittedly, when it came to Shepard, I felt a little guilty; I hadn't taken Sarah's death the best way, and I had blamed her for it, even though I understood where she was coming from. The talk with Garrus helped, and made me feel bad for having those angry feelings towards her. I still wasn't fully over it, though. Mourning Sarah...again...would be a process. I wasn't in shock anymore, but I was still grieving. Was she back home? Or was she gone for good? Why had this all happened to her all over again?

All of this had to be happening for a reason. I had to trust God that He had some sort of plan in all of this.

It'd be hard without Sarah. I had Abby, and she had me, but...despite all the problems she caused, Sarah meant a lot to me and she brought something to our journey that neither of us could.

I took a deep breath. Despite that, this was a war; we had to move on.

_It's so hard doing this again. How can I just move on? I'm not Shepard._

I wasn't cut out for all this...not really. Definitely not for a second time. Yet, apparently I was, because I was here.

How would I be able to watch Mordin, Thane, and Legion all die? How would I be able to watch so many get harvested and die in this brutal war? It made the mission to stop the Collectors look like child's play; people died, but not like this. Sarah's death hit me deeper, because I had known her for so long, even back home...but those were people I cared about, too.

Maybe she was back home. That was almost all I could take comfort in, other than believing there had to be a reason for all of this.

And what if Abby died? Then I'd be here alone...or what if just the opposite happened?

_I have to stop doing this,_ I thought privately. _I'm torturing to myself._

My thoughts were interrupted by two familiar voices. "It's great to be back," a Scottish male voice said.

"I wonder if they kept the bar," another, more familiar accent replied.

"The old girl's better than before. Place looks like shit, though. It's _spooky_."

Kenneth Donnelly and Gabriella Daniels, two engineers that I loved, rounded the corner. "Hey, it beats where we were," Gabby said. "And we're back up against the Reapers. Yes!"

"Ken! Gabby!" I exclaimed instinctively, not really thinking, a small smile crossing my face. I was never particularly close to them, but I always liked them. It was good to see familiar faces. Shepard must've pardoned them during our recent visit to the Citadel.

Both of them stopped, seemingly freezing in place. "It's true," Ken commented, with a stunned look on his face. "Shepard warned us, but I thought she was just pulling our leg..."

"She seemed pretty serious to me," Gabby said, pursing her lips and staring at me with a face that looked surprised, and suspicious. "Come on, Kenneth. Let's grab some food and get back down to engineering. Adams said he had a lot to tell us before we started."

Gabby led him along, quickly turning away from me, but he kept staring at me in shock and horror. I frowned; maybe I shouldn't be surprised, it was understandable, just...disheartening. Chakwas and Joker's reaction, and even though Chakwas was slowly coming around, Joker still seemed to not be too warm towards us. Now Kenneth and Gabby...at least Garrus was rather friendly.

I decided to ignore it, going back to my food.

"You know, I can't help but be curious about what the big deal is with you and your friend," another recognizable voice said, though it wasn't one I heard in real life. Looking up again, I turned around to see Diana Allers standing behind me. She looked like her regular self...only in reality, not a graphic figure. "I heard that you two were on board, but you obviously aren't soldiers, and no one really knows why you two are here. Anyone that does is staying quiet."

"I didn't know you were on board," I said out loud, basically voicing my thoughts. Maybe that was because I hadn't really been outside of the Observatory Deck until now, but still.

"So you know me? Must be a fan, then," Diana said with a smirk, sitting down beside me. "The Commander let me on board after her first stop on the Citadel...although she didn't seem to be the most enthusiastic, she decided to give me a chance. I've been trying to help out in my reports, rally the cause. The _Normandy_ is a great place to get an up close view of the war."

"That it is," I agreed, turning away from Diana. She was a very nice woman, overall, and she would be a little help to Shepard...I was glad the Commander let her on board, it showed me that she was just as open as she used to be. However, I wasn't really in much mood for talking right now, and I had a feeling I knew where we were headed.

"But I don't really know where you and that other kid fit into all of this," Diana said. "Mind giving me some insight?"

I raised an eyebrow and looked at her. "Are you asking for an interview of some sort?"

She shook her head. "Okay, kid, don't get an ego. You're not that important. I just would like some commentary; I'm trying to see how the _Normandy_ is run. How the crew of an Alliance warship works together to stop the Reapers. I'm thinking about doing a story about it later."

"I think there are other things you could focus on," I suggested. I didn't recall this from the game, but I supposed us being here did change things a bit, and we probably didn't hear about all the stories she thought about.

"True, but hey, gotta start somewhere," Diana said with a shrug. "So, what are you two doing here? I'd assume you all are a part of the crew, yet everyone acts so odd about you."

I didn't know how to answer that...was I supposed to tell her that we're psychics? Diana was no Khalisah Al-Jilani, or whatever her name was, but she still did like to interview people and ask...tough questions sometimes, even if she could be trusted.

However, I glanced to the side, and it seemed I wouldn't have to answer: Shepard had just arrived, and she was walking up to both of us.

"Hey there," Shepard greeted in a more friendly tone than she'd used around me or Abby for a while. I wasn't sure if that was for the reporter's benefit, or if she was warming up to us again, or both. "What're you two talking about?" She looked at me with those piercing blue eyes of hers.

"Just getting acquainted. I hadn't met either of these two, before, and everyone acts so strange about them," Diana replied.

I looked at Shepard, not really sure what to say right now.

"They're guests," Shepard said matter-of-factly. "I'll explain more later if you want, but right now is not a good time." I wasn't sure what Shepard intended to tell her, if anything... but it would probably be a modified version of the truth, or maybe a _Here's the truth but don't say anything on the air_ talk.

Then again, would Shepard trust Diana that much? Apparently she kept quiet about the unshackled AI and Matriarch Benezia's daughter, but... what would she think of this? Would she even believe it?

"You getting settled in alright?" Shepard asked conversationally, looking directly at Diana.

"Yeah, just trying to get my footing; everything's looking to be great so far, though. I'm trying to help with the war in my reports as much as I can," Diana said, and it almost sounded like some more...honesty, and less of a sweet reporter tone, was seeping into her voice. "Thanks for letting me on board, Commander."

Shepard nodded. "Just remember our agreement," she said in a firm but kind tone.

"Don't worry, Commander," Diana said, sounding very dedicated when she said that. She looked from Shepard, to me, then to Shepard. "Well, I'm gonna guess that you didn't come down here to talk to me, so I'll leave you to it. Be sure to check in with me soon, though, Commander; maybe we can do a personal feature later."

She stood up and started to walk away in the same fashion that she always did; it wasn't like a soldier, but always felt more to me like she was trying to flirt or something in the game. But who knew, maybe it was a reporter thing.

She stopped and looked at me. "And, uh, what's your name?"

"HK," I simply replied.

She stopped for a moment, almost giving me a look of confusion, but she was barely able to keep her straight, reporter face. "Ah," she said, before turning and leaving.

Once she was gone, I looked at the Commander again. She looked almost... annoyed with Diana. "Thanks, Commander; Diana is nice enough, and I'd even go as far to say that she's trustworthy to an extent, but she was starting to needle me about why exactly we were on board the _Normandy_."

Shepard's expression turned serious. "Traynor and a few others are beginning to wonder, too," she commented. "And I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to tell everyone that you and Abby are just guests."

She then seemed to brush that subject aside for the moment. She did not sit down, but she did stand near the seat that Diana had vacated. "So," she said as she folded her arms and looked down at me, "we're going to Grissom Academy; we'll be there in a few hours. Is there anything you'd like to tell me about what we'll find there?"

Her tone actually seemed... less biting now, and there was no sarcasm there either. She didn't sound kind exactly, but she seemed more concerned and intrigued than angry or suspicious. However, there was still something in her eyes that suggested she still had a slight chip on her shoulder about everything.

As soon as she said that, my eyes went wide, and I was filled with...well, shock and almost a hint of anxiety. I nearly choked. I mean...I knew it was possible to take care of it this early, but I thought Shepard would want to take care of the summit first, and the female krogan...I had been dealing with so much, and now we were going to Grissom Academy?

Jack was there. That was something I was not ready to face yet.

"Grissom Academy? We're going to Grissom Academy..._now_?" I asked hesitantly.

"Yes," Shepard acknowledged. Her cool blue eyes seemed to scrutinize my face, taking in my reaction. "Why? Is there something on Grissom Academy that's making you flinch?" Pause. "Or does something happen there?" she asked after thinking.

I sighed, taking a deep breath. Once I had reached the end of my first Mass Effect journey, I had definitely developed deep feelings for Jack. She and I spent so much time arguing, debating with each other, talking...but after everything, we had fallen for each other. I probably even loved her in some ways...and she was determined to rescue me. She came all the way to the Collector base, and although she would've done that anyway, she was so determined to march through that place and rescue me. Abby had told me about her rage after I had been captured, which touched me in a way.

My last memory of her and I was dying in her arms. Once I had returned home, I was unsure what to make of the whole thing; I developed feelings for a fictional character in another universe? It was a memorable experience, one I'd never forget, but at the same time...it seemed like I needed to move on. Get back into reality, my reality.

Now, though, I was back here, and I knew Jack was, too. She was at Grissom Academy, and she needed to be rescued. I thought of her a few times, and I almost wanted to contact her; at the same time, though, I was afraid. I typically was when it came to situations like this, but I was...afraid to face her again. I didn't know how she'd react. Angry? Happy? It was an awkward situation, and so much else had been going on. Adjusting to being here again, trying to get used to being in this life and on the _Normandy_. Dealing with Shepard. Sarah's death.

And I thought it would be later that all this happened, but apparently, it was going to take place now. In a way, maybe I was glad...in another way, I was very scared.

Finally, I decided to answer Shepard, recovering from my shock. "Sorry, Commander...it's just..." I said, pausing for a moment. "Jack is there. Cerberus has attacked Grissom Academy, and Jack is a teacher there now; I know it sounds weird, but it's true. We will have to help her and her students get off the station safely. It's not a bad mission, it's just...well..."

I almost blushed. "You know."

Shepard nodded. "I figured it might have something to do with that," she told me. "Before we left Earth Anderson mentioned Jack was teaching, and Kaidan tracked her down to get it. And I can also see how this will be awkward, for you." She still didn't take a seat, but she leaned against the back of the empty chair; it was the most casual or relaxed I'd seen her act around either me or Abby since I first encounter the Commander and came aboard the _Normandy_.

"I'm not sure what to tell you," Shepard said with a sigh, "you probably know more about how she's going to react than I do... unless your visions don't tell you that much." She seemed thoughtful. "I'm thinking about taking either you or Abby with me, just to see how things go. Are you up for it, or should I take Abby?" Her eyes seemed to bore into my skull, as if trying to peer into my soul and examine what I was feeling or thinking.

"Our visions don't include us; Jack's herself, but she's changed a bit. However, some visions make me think she may be a little angry," I said, thinking of her romance with male Shepard. However, that was different...but well, still. She would probably be angrier at me. "I don't know, and...to be honest, I'm a little nervous to find out."

I stopped, trying not to look away, and keep eye contact with Shepard. I was just swamped with so many conflicting thoughts right now, but I knew what the right thing to do was. I had to do it. "I...would like to come, Commander. The last time I fought was when we were on the Collector base, so I'm probably a little rusty, but as nervous as I may be, I think I need to come. It may shock Jack, and I don't want to shock her too much, because we'll still need to stop Cerberus...but it's only right that I be there to show her myself, and not wait until after the mission. If you'll allow it, of course."

Shepard nodded. "Alright," she said, accepting the answer. Maybe she had been expecting that answer from the start. "But... there is one thing I feel we need to talk about before we go anywhere." Now she moved around to sit down in the chair, right across from me. She sat with her back fairly rigid, but her arms and face relaxed a bit. "How are you holding up?" she asked me, a note of gentleness seeping into her voice. "I know that Sarah's death hit you and Abby hard."

I paused. Another subject that had been on my mind, but that I had trouble addressing. Particularly to Shepard. "I'm...I'm doing okay, Commander, and I think Abby is, too. It's just...it's hard. We aren't as strong and well-adjusted as you are, and Sarah dying...again...it's hard. It doesn't get any easier from one time to the next, that's for sure. If anything, this is worse, because it was right at the beginning of the war," I told her. I wasn't sure whether I should mention any resentment we'd originally had towards Shepard. "And...Garrus talked to us about it on the Citadel, after we got some armor and weapons. He helped us understand, and that conversation did help a bit. Not a lot, but a bit."

"If there had been some way to save her, I would have done it," Shepard said. Her eyes grew slightly distant, as if she was reliving whatever happened on that moon for a moment. Then she refocused on the present, and on me. "But whatever happens, I need you and Abby to stay strong. I need to know that you'll both be able to keep it together out on the battlefield if I start taking you both along on every mission again."

"I know, Commander, I trust you," I said, a little more confidently than I would have twelve hours ago. I was recovering from any frustration I had towards her...I always knew that she would've done more for Sarah if she had the option. "Saving the Primarch was very important. If he died...we wouldn't have anymore answers for you."

Then, I moved to the last part of Shepard's statement, and didn't say anything for a moment. These type of things, wondering how I'd be in a certain situation, made me a little nervous. "I think we'll be okay. It may take a little time to get used to it again, but...I think we'll be okay. Believe it or not, I'm actually looking forward a little bit to getting out there again. Just a little. So...thank you."

"Come on," Shepard told me, rising from her seat. "EDI's down in the shuttle bay picking out some weapons for herself. We still have a few hours before we reach Grissom Academy, so I'd like both of you to join me and James. We can see how well you and EDI can handle hand-to-hand and weapons' combat. Frankly, I'd rather test that out before any of us leave the ship," she added thoughtfully.

I smiled...getting into combat was kind of scary again, but I did have some faith that it would be alright, and practicing combat...that was just like the old days. "Too bad Jacob and Zaeed aren't here," I muttered to myself, as I began to follow Shepard. "But yeah, practicing and sharpening our skills definitely sounds good. I never thought I'd be practicing shooting and melee combat with EDI."

Maybe I was starting to ease around Shepard, just a bit...and vice-versa, hopefully.

* * *

><p><strong>(Sarah) <strong>

My eyelids fluttered open like a pair of agitated butterflies. My body felt numb, but I could tell that I was lying on my back... and I was positioned on a soft mattress. There was also a thin linen on top of me.

I stared up at the ceiling for a moment, trying to figure out where the heck I was. Let's see... was today a work day? Had I slept in late-where the hell was my bedroom clock?

And then it hit me. I wasn't home, I was in the Mass Effect universe... again. The memories came flooding back, causing my heart to beat faster in my chest. The last thing I'd seen before blacking out had been... dirt and rocks and whatever else crash down on top of me and Irren.

"Ir-Irren," I choked, coughing over the name. Where the hell was I? Where the hell was_ he? _Was he alright?

Then my subconscious chose that moment to dredge something up; I'd almost completely forgotten, so I was glad I still remembered it. I had a brief flashback to something that happened just after the avalanche and before I woke up here:

_Pain. Voices. Blurry images. People moving about and some of them talking about this and that. I couldn't make out what most of them were saying._

_"I think she's regained consciousness," a female turian said, perhaps a medic. "Damn it, I don't know enough about human physiology."_

_"Well, you took one semester on interspecies biology," someone else had replied. "You're the closest thing to an expert we have."_

_A heavy sigh came from the medic. "We need to send her to the Citadel," she said. "It's her only hope, especially since Earth and many of the human colonies are under attack."_

_"Why do you sound so hesitant?" the second turian asked. "And why are you holding that knife?"_

_"Because there is one thing I know I need to do," the medic stated gravely. "Her left arm is badly torn up, and I believe infection has set in. It's already spreading and the medi-gel isn't doing any good."_

_"So what are you going to do?"_

I blinked, returning to the present. That must have been when I'd blacked out again. So... was I on the Citadel now? In the same hospital as Thane and Kaidan?

The door to my room opened, and someone walked inside. It was a human woman who appeared to be just a little older than me. "You're awake," she said in a friendly tone. She sounded tired, but she seemed to have a self-trained bedside manner she could fall back on. Maybe she was used to working long shifts. "How are you feeling?"

"Um... well, I feel like a landslide hit me." It meant to be a joke, but it sounded kind of half-hearted and dry even to my own ears.

She gave me a compassionate look. I couldn't help but wonder if I was just another patient to her, and if that was an expression she'd trained herself to show to everyone... or if she truly did care about me. Whatever it was, I truly did feel like it was genuine and it helped me relax a little. Which was the purpose of it, and it did its job.

"Can you tell me your name?" she asked.

"Sarah."

"Sarah...?

"Uh, Sinclair."

Over the next few minutes we went through a routine where she asked me several questions about how I was feeling, and she ran a scan on me and checked my pulse on my right arm-the one closest to her.

Then, after I asked, we began to go over just how bad my injuries were. "When you came here, you had a mild concussion and a nasty flesh wound on the back of your head. You were lucky though; a turian medic was able to stabilize your condition and give you first aid."

"Anything else wrong with me?" I asked quietly. I coughed again. I had answered all of her questions, but my mouth was unbelievably dry, especially right now.

The nurse poured me a glass of water and handed it to me. "There is one other thing I need to tell you," she said.

I took the glass with my right hand and drank greedily. I ended up slopping a small portion onto my chest. Annoyed, I tried to sit up a little. Then I tried to get my left hand up to move aside the dampened bed sheet.

...Okay I couldn't find my left arm.

My eyes widened. A voice drifted into my head, the last things I'd heard right before blacking out again on Menae...

_"...there is one thing I know I need to do... Her left arm is badly torn up, and I believe infection has set in. It's already spreading and the medi-gel isn't doing any good."_

_"So what are you going to do?"_

I spilled the remaining contents of the glass all over myself and the bed in a sudden attempt to free my right arm. The nurse tried to catch it, but it was too late. I ripped the linen off of me and threw it onto the floor, and then I saw the most horrible sight I'd ever even on my own body.

My left arm was _gone. _There was only a stump left, a small extension from the shoulder that was heavily bandaged.

I stared at it in complete shock. _My arm was gone?_

"Sarah, calm down," the nurse was saying, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Please calm down." I realized I was on the verge of hyperventilating.

I then glanced down at my legs-they seemed to be okay, even if they were heavily bandaged in places.

"The rest of your body is fine and will recover," the nurse told me. "You had some nasty gashes and deep cuts and scrapes, but the medi-gel is already taking care of those. And," she added, gently turning my chin toward her face so that I would look at her, "in a few months, we can get you a prosthetic to replace that arm."

I grimaced. I couldn't speak. I could only shake my head.

The nurse gave my shoulder a light squeeze. She almost looked like she wanted to hug me if only she could. Did I look that pitiful?

"My... my arm," was the first thing I whispered.

"I know, honey," the woman said gently, in a big sister sort of way. "But it will be okay. At least you're alive."

I squeezed my eyes shut. _Okay... get a grip on yourself, Sarah. It was just an arm, right? Your other self back home is just fine and has both her arms. You got turned into a husk here after all, and you ended up fine. You'll just have to put up with having one arm until you return home._

I opened my eyes again, feeling more comforted by that thought. I relaxed, and I think the nurse noticed, too. She removed her hand from my right shoulder. "Irren," I stated. "I want to know about Irren. Where is he?"

"You mean the turian you came in with," the nurse said, as if half to herself. "He's still unconscious. He had several broken bones, bone fractures, and lacerations. He just got out of surgery a little while ago; we think he is going to recover fully."

I exhaled a small sigh of relief. "I wanna see him," I said, attempting to sit up. My body felt numb, probably due to sedatives and painkillers, and my head throbbed a little. I reached up and touched a big, bulky bandage on the back of my head. Ugh. It was probably going to be a while before my hair got back to normal... and more importantly, the wound healed.

"No," the nurse gently admonished me. "You need to stay there and get some rest. I will tell you right away when your friend wakes up."

"NO!" I was mildly surprised at the sound of force in my own voice. Even the nurse seemed a little startled. "I want to see Irren, now!"

"Sarah," the nurse said a little more firmly, "you need to stay in bed. Doctor's orders."

"Tell the doctor he can go fuck himself." ...Did I really, _really_ just say that out loud? "I want to see Irren, now. He saved my life, and he stayed with me even when..." My voice cracked. Tears were beginning to stream down my cheeks, much to my annoyance.

"Excuse me, is there a problem in here?" an accented voice said in the doorway, causing me and the nurse to turn and look. It was none other than Dr. Michel herself.

The nurse straightened and cleared her throat. "Sarah wishes to see the turian we brought in, I think they are close friends." She seemed awkward. "I was just telling her that she needed to stay in bed, as per your orders."

...I just said that Dr. Michel could go fuck herself? Oh damn it...

Dr. Michel looked at me with a neutral expression. She didn't seem particularly offended or upset. Maybe she was used to hearing worse things from frustrated patients, or maybe she just knew how to remain calm and professional.

"We could always sedate you," the doctor said thoughtfully, "but I do not think that will help in this case. We need to ease your stress so that you can heal, not add to it." She nodded toward the nurse. "Go get a wheelchair and take her to see her friend."

The nurse nodded, accepting her task. "Of course, Doctor Michel," she acknowledged.

"Stay with your friend as long as you need to," Michel told me. "But don't touch any of his bandages and do not over exert yourself. You need rest, and Irren needs time to recover."

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" I could barely hear the nurse whispering to the doctor. "The best place for rest is in bed."

"Rest can be achieved anywhere, including in a chair beside your friend's bed," Michel said. "It's better if our patients have something to do that brings them comfort or relieves their stress, not add to it."

"I see what you mean," the nurse commented.

Dr. Michel left shortly after that to attend to other rounds and duties, and the nurse took me to Irren's room. The nurse told me to page her or one of the other members of the hospital staff if I needed anything, and then she left me alone with Irren.

He looked terrible. There was no other way to say it. He was lying there with what I assumed were minimal clothes, and I could see a large area of his chest and back wrapped up in gauze and bandages.

I sat there and stared at him for several minutes, taking in the sight. Then I slowly reached out and took one of his three-fingered hands into my own. It was right then that I began to miss my other hand even more... I just wanted to wrap my hands around his. "Why didn't you just run?" I whispered. If he had run, he wouldn't be hurt so bad right now.

Then again, maybe there wouldn't have been time for him to run. I don't know.

Irren had not appeared in Mass Effect 3, so my so-called "visions" didn't show anything about him. He was just another turian who had been on Menae, one of many. Who knows? Maybe I'd saved his life, for all I know, just by being on the moon. If he hadn't been watching me, he could have been one of the soldiers to get ripped to shreds by the husks.

I gently placed his hand back down on the bed beside him, and then I repositioned my wheelchair so that it was positioned sideways beside the bed instead of having me face him. Then I leaned across the short arm rest and laid my right shoulder and head carefully on the bed beside Irren.

We could just... rest here together for a while. That seemed... nice. After a little while I drifted off to sleep.

* * *

><p>Shepard could see that HK still had his combat prowess. He was perhaps a bit slower and needed to work on his aim with the Vindicator, but that would come with time.<p>

EDI's new fem-bot body quickly surpassed everyone present with swift kicks and punches, even grabs and pins. She even proved herself useful with a pistol and a rifle, accurately hitting targets Shepard threw into the air with quick succession.

HK was wearing the armor that Garrus had helped him purchase on the Citadel; they would be heading out in just a few hours anyway, so now was as good a time as any to break in the armor. Abby joined them a short time later, having finished her examination with Chakwas. She quickly donned her armor and joined in on the training session, tying her long hair up in a tight bun. She was taller than Shepard remembered. She'd grown.

James frowned a little when Abby joined the group. That was right about the time Garrus showed up to work on his sniper rifle, and EDI had rapidly progressed from student to assistant combat instructor. So when James asked to have a word with Shepard, Amelia told the others to go ahead.

"This is just loco," James said disapprovingly as he and Shepard walked to the other end of the shuttle bay.

Once they were out of earshot of the others, Shepard folded her arms and looked at him. "If you have something to say, then say it," she encouraged.

"Well," James said, gesturing one of his big, beef-cake arms in the direction of Abby and HK, "with all due respect Commander, just what _the hell_ is going on here? Who are these two? They're just a couple of kids, and they don't have any kind of service records. The girl's a _noodle._"

Shepard sighed inwardly. She knew that this would be coming eventually; she'd have to give an explanation. "Alright," she finally said. "Obviously, they're not military."

James narrowed his eyes. "What makes them so important?" he asked, puzzled.

"It's difficult to explain," Shepard replied warily, rubbing the side of her temple with one armored hand. "But they're psychics. Somehow, they have dreams or visions that tell them everything about the future."

"Dreams?" James echoed, skeptical. "Visions? What, did you pick up a pair of mystics at a fortune-teller place back on Earth or something?"

"It's a lot more complicated than that, James." Hadn't she just gone through this talk with Kaidan? Then again... Kaidan knew her. James only knew her by reputation. "They helped me beat the Collectors, and now they are going to help us beat the Reapers."

"By telling you all about how the Reapers are going to be stopped, in the future, right?" James said, folding his arms. "How do you account for these... visions that they have? How do you know they're not making it up?"

"They're not making it up," Shepard said confidently. "They've told me things that no one could have known, that happened exactly the way they said it would."

"I'm still not sure if I buy that."

"I know it's hard to accept, and it sounds unbelievable," Shepard said thoughtfully, "but wait until you see them in action before you jump to conclusions."

"So, you claim that they know everything that's going to happen?" James asked. "Sorry, but that just seems far-fetched. I need to hear them tell us about this up-coming mission. And then if it turns out to be accurate, I think we should have them tell us about the Catalyst."

Shepard frowned. That was the same thing she'd struggled with herself, especially since entire worlds were being decimated by Reaper forces right now. Hundreds or thousands were being wounded and killed by the minute.

"It will take time for the Crucible to be finished," Shepard said. "We need to gather resources and people to help us work on it."

"Are you saying that these psychos won't spill the beans at least until the Crucible is built?" James asked incredulously.

"I'm saying that I've decided to trust them, at least for now," Shepard said. "There may come a time where I need to get more information out of them, but for now... I _have_ to believe they know what they're doing."

"What a load of bull." James nearly threw up his hands. "If we know what this Catalyst is right now, maybe we could finish it even sooner. Then we can win this goddamned war!"

Before Shepard could do more than open her mouth, James turned away from her and marched back over to the others. "Hey," he barked, getting everyone's attention. They all stopped what they were doing; Garrus straightened, releasing pressure on a chokehold he had HK in, his sniper rifle all forgotten, and EDI and Abby glanced up from their rifles.

"Is it true that you two know what the Catalyst for this Crucible is, and you're not telling us?" James demanded.

Abby and HK exchanged awkward glances. "James," Shepard warned.

"Look, I can accept that we left Earth, because it's what we needed to do," James stated, scowling at the Commander. "But if these two really are holding information from us, then I think they should come clean. I just can't understand allowing them to stay silent over something so important!"

Shepard almost told him that he was out of line. But how could she say that, when part of her agreed?

Garrus cleared his throat. "I'm not sure what to make of all of this," he said. "But I trust the Commander."

HK slowly untangled himself from Garrus's long limbs and Abby was looking at the Kodiak, avoiding eye contact.

However, it was EDI who spoke up. "Commander Shepard, you determined that the Collectors were going to invade the _Normandy_ at some point during our last mission," she said. "And yet you allowed it to happen."

"That's because I agreed with HK's, Abby's and Sarah's intentions," Shepard said, reminding herself of her reasoning as well as everyone else. "They have visions of a very specific kind of future. The more delicate a mission is, the more things may vary if the slightest thing is warned about or altered."

"Part of me thinks that they should tell us everything," Garrus sighed. "But at the same time... I'm inclined to think that following them as we did before is the best course of action."

"So you're all just going to let them withhold information?" James demanded.

"We're _not _holding back on anything," Abby spoke up. "We're telling you what you need to know as you need to know it. Just like before."

James looked like he wanted to press the issue, but a stern look from Shepard silenced him. "Let it go, James," she stated. Vega looked as if he wanted to argue, but then he threw up his hands in disgust.

"Whatever," he said. "I'm still not sure if I believe any of this. But if it is true... I don't like it." He picked up his rifle. "I'm gonna get dressed," he said, no doubt meaning that he was going to put on his armor. "I'm sure you can cover for me, Scars," he said to Garrus. Obviously he didn't want to be there any longer.

Shepard let him go.

"We're going to do everything we can to help you beat the Reapers, Commander," HK spoke up.

"Sarah is dead," Shepard said thoughtfully. She pursed her lips, considering her options. "And there is no telling at this point if one or both of you may die." She looked at Abby. "I seem to remember that you left an information package for me, in case you died before the mission against the Collectors was over," she said thoughtfully.

"Commander," EDI spoke up again, her silvery android eyes darting between the psychics and Shepard, "I believe I have an alternative to that problem."

All heads turned to look at her. "Oh?" Shepard asked, intrigued.

"I have the ability to take facts and statistics and run internal simulations to determine possible outcomes," she said. "If HK and Abby would be willing to tell me all of their secrets somewhere private, I can take their place as Samara did."

"In other words," Garrus said, "you're going to act as a backup source of information if something happens to them, and you'll decide what's best to tell us in advance?"

"Correct," EDI said. "However, I may still withhold information if it seems that events must play out a certain way for a more beneficial outcome."

"Sounds awfully manipulative to me," James remarked stiffly. Several heads glanced in his direction as he passed us by, heading in the direction of the elevator. Apparently he had donned his armor on the other side of the shuttle bay, and was now on his way to... somewhere else.

Shepard didn't acknowledge him. "I think it's worth a shot," she finally said after the elevator door slid shut behind Vega.

"Well, it could work," HK said thoughtfully. "Though I'm not sure if it's the best idea."

"I think we can trust EDI," Abby said. She looked uneasy, but determined. "You guys know what's what. I don't like keeping secrets, and… you're right. I was thinking really hard. If I die, I want to make sure that you get the chance, Commander. To do what you have to do."

_We're not soldiers. _

But Abby's blue eyes were looking at her steadily now, and not in the fogginess of blood loss and pain. There was no blood on her face, no gaping hole in her chest.

And Shepard knew they wanted to come. She hated herself for letting her do it. There was a real chance they could die, but she couldn't keep them locked on the _Normandy_. It wouldn't be fair to them.

"Nevertheless, I can speculate on possible new outcomes," EDI said. "Do not worry, I will keep your secrets safe and I will be extremely careful with them." She gave Abby and HK a wink.

Why did it seem as though some kind of... rapport may have been developing between them? All because they kept her damn secret. Then again, EDI was a computer. She liked valuable sources of data.

Shepard checked the time on her omni-tool. "ETA to Grissom Academy is three hours and twenty minutes," she said.

"And twelve seconds," EDI added.

"I want the three of you to go to the observatory lounge, and tell EDI everything," Shepard told HK and Abby. "This is probably the best plan we have to work with."

EDI nodded. "Come with me," the fem-bot said, leading the two teenagers toward the lift.

Shepard and Garrus exchanged a darkly significant look. The turian sighed. "Things are never going to be easy for us, are they?" Garrus asked heavily.

"No, it doesn't look that way."

* * *

><p><strong>(Sarah)<strong>

When I awoke again, somehow I was back in my own room, in the same bed I'd woke up in in the first place. At first I wondered if all that stuff had been a bad dream, but my left arm was still missing. That told me that it hadn't been.

_I guess the hospital staff found me asleep in Irren's room and put me back in here, _I thought. I didn't even remember being moved. That must have meant I was sound asleep and dead to the world.

So I simply stayed where I was and stared up at the ceiling. Just what had happened back on Menae? Obviously someone had found us and rescued us. But... what did that mean? That we hadn't been buried too deep, or we did get lucky somehow? Unfortunately, there was no one around to ask. I might never know the details.

I was starting to ache all over and my head throbbed as if someone had hit it with a sledge-hammer. Apparently the painkillers were starting to wear off.

I grunted and shoved aside the linen that had been draped over me. I very carefully and very slowly lowered my legs over the side of the bed. Oh yes... pain. Let the pain come. It distracted me from certain things I'd rather not think about. Like this entire situation I was in, in the middle of an intergalactic war.

Then again, I was probably in the safest place around right now... until Cerberus attacked, at least.

_Okay... carefully stand up-easier said than done with only one arm-and get steady on your feet... there you go. Now... one step at a time... one foot in front of the other... there we go..._

Dr. Michel walked in just as I reached the door.

"Sarah," she said in surprise. "What are you doing out of bed?"

"I'm leaving," I said bluntly. "Don't try to stop me."

"That is not a good idea," Michel told me, touching my arm as if fearing I might stumble or fall down. "You are not in any condition to leave this hospital."

"Just tell me that Irren will be okay," I said, "and I'll be back. I just..." I grimaced as another wave of pain shot through me. "I really need to go somewhere." I hissed a little.

"No," Michel stated firmly. "You shouldn't go anywhere."

"I said I am leaving," I snapped. "Do you really have any grounds to keep me here, especially since you have a lot of other patients?"

Michel sighed. "No, not really," she admitted. "Your name and bio-readings did not appear on any military listings, so I cannot keep you here on those grounds."

"I will be back," I promised. "Just... tell me Irren will be okay."

"His vitals are stable," she said. "But where do you intend to go? Do you have credits, or anyone expecting you?"

I smiled a little. "I know a couple of people."

"Then you should stay in bed, and write them an email. Or if they are on the Citadel, I could have one of my staff try and locate them," she said.

I sighed. "One of them is right here in the hospital, he's a drell," I said. "The other one, who I really want to find... I know where she is. I just have to go there."

Dr. Michel and I argued about this for at least a couple of minutes. When it became obvious to her that I was not going to budge, she gave me a commlink to put on and she injected me with a painkiller to sooth the agony of my injuries.

"I can't keep you here," Michel finally allowed with reluctance. "But I want you to contact my staff immediately in that frequency if you begin to feel faint."

I nodded. Though I also figured I might have to make sure it was turned off when I went to see who I wanted to see; it was a person who wouldn't want our conversations being overheard by a hospital staff. "Will do," I said. "I'll be back... later."

"Be careful," Michel said. Her tone dripped with disapproval; I knew that she would have preferred me to stay for further observation and tests.

Then again, I was never one for staying in a hospital. I rarely went to the doctor, not even for illnesses. If I came down with a bad flu or something, I just got bed rest and drank plenty of fluids. Off-the-shelf meds also seemed to do just fine in aiding with recovery.

I walked very slowly out of the inpatient wing, into the reception/waiting area. There were many people there, some of them waiting to see people and others waiting for care for non-serious injuries. My eyes scanned the room for Thane, but I didn't see him anywhere in the crowd. Well... maybe he'd gone to get a bite to eat, or perhaps he was visiting Kaidan or something. No matter, he wasn't the person I wanted to see right now anyway.

I made my way toward the elevator, ignoring the curious glances and even a query if I needed help. I stepped into the elevator, and tried to remember which floor I wanted. Where was she... was she on the Presidium? Wait... she was near the ambassador offices, most likely... and the C-Sec office, and the Spectre Office.

I smiled. Yes, the Spectre Office! That's the general area I needed to go to. I hit the panel with my fingers. That was where I needed to go.

* * *

><p><strong>(Abby)<strong>

Once HK and I returned to the Observatory Lounge with EDI, we sat down in the chairs around the card table. HK sat down beside me, and EDI sat down across from us. I felt like we were about to be interrogated, which compounded the fact that this room had become more like a cell for us.

"You do not need to worry," EDI told us as she settled into her chair. She rested her elbows on the table in front of her and clasped her fingers together; no doubt a gesture she had seen used by humans at times. She even leaned forward just a little, looking at us with interest. "I have sealed the door, and I have even blocked Jeff from being able to listen in. We are safe."

"Well, that's something at least," I muttered. Part of me was still angry over Sarah's death, but I would feel that way even if Shepard hadn't been there. Would I have blamed myself somehow if I couldn't blame Shepard? No matter what happened now, Sarah was gone. There was no bringing her back.

I'd just have to focus on the present and do the best I could. At least I had HK with me, and I knew he was suffering too. And Shepard was starting to trust us again, bring us out on missions with her. That was something.

"Where should we start?" HK asked beside me, breaking the momentary silence.

"The best place to start would be the next mission; Grissom Academy," EDI said. "Tell me everything that you know about it."

We told her everything. Everything from Cerberus to Kahlee Sanders, to Jack, to the rescue of the students. HK seemed to have mixed feelings about it all; like he was looking forward to seeing her again but not looking forward to it. I'd seen him face internal conflict before, especially a few years ago when we had a lot of drama going on within a circle of online friends.

Relationships were messy, convoluted things that I was only beginning to discover for myself. HK's situation seemed no more easy to me than clearing the Academy by ourselves - people are unique containers of experiences and reactions, and tiptoeing around the closer, more personal stuff made me uneasy.

Too. Much. Drama. I couldn't tell him to drop the relationship or hide from her, but I supposed the best I could do would be to cover him... somehow. I was still sensing a broken nose in his future. And a kick in the balls.

I could only imagine what HK was feeling now, though. Sarah told us about her death in detail, mainly because we pressed so bloody hard for it. HK and I had only explained once, and all of us knew the other person was holding something back. My last words with Shepard, how I felt – and HK was probably keeping something to himself, too. He said Jack had been with him.

How could anyone reunite with someone who_ loved_ them, when they had died in the person's arms a few months ago? Especially when that person was as emotionally unstable as Jack.

When we finished discussing Grissom Academy, EDI seemed to file that info somewhere safe within her processor on the ship, and then she was ready to move onto other subjects. "I need to know everything you know about the Crucible, and the Catalyst," she said. "And any and all details involving any missions that will follow; do not leave anything out. I must know even the most insignificant details."

And that's what we did for the next two hours or so. Both HK and I wracked our brains and told her everything. For the most part EDI listened without interruption, although she made each of us give our accounts of each mission one at a time, and then she would have each of us repeat some things and press for details, or clarify the timeline of events. We had a tendency to... scatter.

By the time we were finished, I felt like my brain was going to implode. I didn't want to talk about this anymore, and I just wanted to go somewhere and let my mind go blank for a few minutes. Yet EDI just wouldn't let up on one thing in particular.

"You are still being vague about the Catalyst, and what happens in the final battle over Earth," EDI said. She had already said that at least four times; she simply kept rephrasing the same sentence to ask the same question with different words. Maybe she felt like that would pry more out of us.

"Like I already told you, I don't know any more than that," I sighed. I almost wished that I had access to a youtube video back home so that I could just show her all of the potential endings. "It has something to do with going to the Citadel through a – a beam. I don't really understand it."

"Is it similar to the Conduit?" EDI pressed.

"It looked different from that," HK chimed in. "Like we said, it's like a beam of light coming from the Citadel down onto the Earth."

"Big blue beam. They were using it to transport human bodies to the Citadel," I added. "Dead and alive. Though when we saw the Citadel, nobody was alive."

"And you claim that Shepard was on foot, without a helmet or a respirator mask, when she was transported through space?" EDI wanted to clarify. "And she was badly wounded?"

After HK and I gave our confirmation on that fact-again-EDI began to look both thoughtful and annoyed. "Why are your details so vague and sketchy in this area? You told me that the _Normandy_ flees Earth's system and crashes on an unknown world, but you do not tell me when or why. And you have told me nothing about the battle except for where Shepard is involved."

"That's because we don't know all that much," I said. "We've told you everything that we know."

"If the Citadel is the Catalyst, where are these options to deal with the Reapers located?" EDI asked.

"I don't know," I said again.

"You have said that if Shepard chooses to control the Reapers, her body disintegrates in a blue light," EDI said. "And if she chooses this... DNA-alteration option you called Synergy, she will become a Reaper, sacrificing her body and her mind to do so. And yet, if she chooses the destroy option, she will destroy me as well as the geth, and all of the Reapers... yet she may survive, though the Citadel may implode. But I will die alongside the geth."

Once she received our affirmative, she seemed to puzzle that over. "You truly know nothing else?" she finally asked.

"We've told you everything we can, EDI," HK told her.

This pretty much went on for the next twenty minutes or so. EDI asked the same questions in a number of different ways, and we gave the same general answers each time. Once the AI was more or less satisfied that we couldn't give any more details, she dropped the subject-although she didn't seem particularly happy about it.

"Well," EDI finally said, rising from her chair, "I suppose that is all of the information I can get out of you. We have exactly thirty minutes to ready ourselves for the mission; we will be arriving at Grissom Academy at that time. The information you have given me will give us a chance."

She left the room, though I knew she wasn't truly gone. I was mentally drained and sore, but I could find enough mischief deep down to look at HK and say in a low, sly voice, "We never told her about her and Joker."

He smirked at that, though I could tell that he was also very drained. Still, it was funny. "We'll let her find that out for herself," he replied softly.

* * *

><p><strong>(Sarah)<strong>

Once I arrived at the Citadel Embassies, I headed away from the elevator. The painkillers were doing their job, although I was still trying to get used to the fact that I didn't have my left arm anymore. I hadn't fully realized how much arms could effect your balance, especially since my walk was a little "off" considering the healing cuts on my legs.

At least I was decently dressed now. Apparently one of the nurses had put a long-sleeved shirt on me while I slept or something; it... partially hid the fact that I had a missing arm.

If I moved too quickly or turned my head too sharply, I ended up feeling dizzy or even nauseous. So I just had to take it slow and easy, one step at a time.

When I reached the area closer to the embassies and offices, going up the stairs felt like murder. My legs were not preparing for that much exertion at the moment. I breathed a sigh of relief as I got over the last, top step. Then it was just a few short meters until I reached the outside of the Spectre office.

Of course I couldn't go inside. I was no Spectre, and the only Spectre I was on good terms with was... well, I had no idea where she was. However, it was safe to say that she wasn't here. At least, I didn't think so.

I walked past the C-Sec office and moved straight toward the door to the Spectre office. I wasn't quite sure what I was planning to do, but... I just knew that Kasumi was around here somewhere. And well... I wasn't in the greatest shape in the world right now, but maybe I could do something.

_I'm not useless,_ I thought to myself, gritting my teeth._ I'll find a way to help Shepard in the war effort... somehow._

Just then, the door to the Spectre office slid open, revealing a very familiar salarian. I took a deep breath as I watched him. He seemed to be in a hurry, and he was walking away from the office door as he looked at something on his omni-tool. His large eyes cast a glance in my direction as he passed me, no doubt registering my presence and finding no reason to speak to me.

"Excuse me," I called out to him after he passed me. "Jondum Bau, Spectre?"

He stopped, turning to look at me. "Yes?" he said. "How did you know my name? I do not believe we've been acquainted."

"My name is Sarah Sinclair," I said, using the same last name I'd given to everybody, even if it was phony. "I want to help you on your investigation."

He narrowed his eyes. "Just what do you know of my investigation?" he asked.

I took a deep breath. I winced a little; my injuries were still bothering me, even with the painkillers. And I think the stump where my left arm used to be was starting to itch. "That's not important," I said. "I just know that you have intel that suggests a hanar official is indoctrinated, and this information was leaked to you by Kasumi Goto. There is also evidence that an Alliance Black Ops team raided a batarian research station, where batarians were studying Reaper tech. The raid turned into a massacre, and the humans faked a power failure to mask the incident-"

"All right," Bau interjected, narrowing his eyes into slits. It was obvious that he now felt I knew way more about this than I should have. "You seem to know a lot about this. Where did you get your information?"

"It doesn't matter," I said. What was I supposed to do, tell him I was a psychic? Somehow I didn't think that would fly with him. "Just know that I also know that the hanar maintained discreet trade deals with the batarians, and led the Alliance personnel to the batarian station. The same hanar operatives escaped with batarian tech. And they are already indoctrinated."

"All of this is very detailed and accurate information," Jondum Bau said. "I will ask you one more time; where did you get this intel?"

"I can only say that I know you got this from Kasumi Goto," I added. That was the best I could do at the moment. Just let him think that I got it from her, if he wanted to.

"The master thief. You know her?"

"We're friends," I said with a shrug. "But I have no idea where she is right now." Actually, I hoped she was watching us. I wanted her to talk to me, the next time I was alone.

"When was the last time you were in contact with her?"

"Many, many months ago," I said quietly. I cleared my throat, and then I said, "You just need the name of the hanar you're looking for, the one that is a diplomatic on the Citadel, right?"

"That is correct. Is this something you can provide?"

"Face name is Samandus. Soul name is Regards the Works of Enkindlers in Despair."

He seemed to process this for a moment. Then he made a note on his omni-tool. "I see. Did Kasumi give you this intel?"

"No... I got it from another source that I can't tell you about."

He sighed. "Very well," he said. He seemed to let the matter drop for the moment. "However, unless I know your sources are reliable, I cannot simply arrest a hanar by that name."

"He's in the middle of uploading a virus to the hanar home world to disrupt their planetary shields," I said. "Unless you want to use your Spectre status to run around and snoop on hanar transmissions for the next thirty minutes, I say we should just go in and storm that hanar."

Bau looked very skeptical, even suspicious. "All right," he finally said. "I will check into this, and you are coming with me. After this is over I will have a few more questions for you."

I sighed. "Okay," I said. "Let's just go."

Bau nodded, and then he grabbed me by my single arm and began to lead me, as if he was afraid I might run off. "Now it is a simple matter to track down the location of this Sadamus and see if you are telling the truth," he said.

We entered the hanar's office together, and then I yanked my arm out of his grasp and took a slight lead. Maybe it was finally time to show a backbone, even if I didn't feel one.

"Sadamus!" I snapped, calling out to the lone hanar that stood at the console. "Mr. Regards the Works of the Enkindlers in Despair, I mean." Then I whirled around, and pointed at the human thug leaning casually against the wall behind us. "Bau, watch out! He's the hanar's bodyguard, he might attack."

"No one move," Bau snapped, pulling out his gun.

"It seems that this one has been apprehended," the hanar said, turning to glance at us. I couldn't see any eyes on that smooth, pink face, but I could the impression we were being looked at. I'd never heard a hanar speak in person before; if anything, it sounded even more alien than they did in the games.

But I didn't have time to dwell on that at the moment. "Give me a gun," I whispered to Bau, "I'll cover for you." I indicated the thug with a jerk of my head.

He seemed a little unsure about that, but finally he handed me a pistol. I murmured a thanks, and then I turned and aimed it directly at the thug's head, keeping my eye on him. As long as I kept my attention on him, he wouldn't be able to attack Bau, and everything would be fine.

I just hoped a pistol would do the trick... although I couldn't exactly handle a two-handed weapon at this point.

"Confinement is irrelevant," the hanar continued. "The work of the Enkindlers cannot be stopped."

I kept my weapon directed at the thug as I heard Bau's footsteps approach the hanar. He picked up the line of questioning where Shepard would have in the original case. "What are you doing?"

"This one's people obtained information regarding the Enkindlers," Sadamus supplied, "from classified sources."

"Protheans," Bau translated, mostly to himself. I narrowed my eyes at the human thug; he was no longer leaning against the wall, and he was starting to fidget. I really hoped I would not have to pull this trigger.

"Yes," the hanar said, "the Protheans eventually became the Collectors. And the Collectors served the Reapers. Therefore, as a faithful servant of the Enkindlers, we too must serve the Reapers."

As I kept my eyes locked on the thug, I almost, _almost_ thought I heard a very faint whisper that sounded like, "That's just crazy." But I was probably just hearing things. Bau didn't seem to notice, nor did anyone else, from what I could tell.

"When the Enkindlers uplift us as their chosen sapient," the hanar concluded, "the galaxy will bear witness."

"You're indoctrinated," Bau stated. "We cannot allow you to endanger the rest of the hanar. You are under arrest." He aimed his rifle at the large, pink creature.

"Your belief in your victory is mistaken," the hanar said. "Our planetary defense network is largely automated. It can be disabled with a single virus. Which_ I_ have just uploaded."

Under normal circumstances, I may have wondered if the way it referred to itself as "I" instead of "this one" was an effect of Indoctrination, but I didn't have time to ponder that.

"Damn it!" Bau said. "Wait," he exclaimed, activating his omni-tool, a "virus would be detectible unless sent on low-priority channels, which would have a time-lag! I may be able to block the upload-"

_**Bang.**_

That one sound exploded through my skull as the cool metal of my pistol vibrated, expelling a piece of hot metal that hit the thug somewhere in the upper chest, between his shoulders, as he tried to come at me. His eyes had been half-crazed, as if driven by an unseen force.

He had been indoctrinated, too.

However, right at that moment, something unexpected happened. The hanar, after noticing that its bodyguard had fallen on the floor in a bloody heap, turned and flung itself at the Spectre. It swung two of its legs into the air and wrapped them tightly around Bau's neck. He grunted and made a gargling noise; he was being strangled.

I dropped the gun, looking in every direction in horror. I just_ killed _someone. Even if they were going to kill me... still, I just turned a fellow human into a bloody mess on the floor. He was still alive, too. He clutched at his chest, his hand coming away slick with blood. He looked at me for a moment, and then his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he went limp against the floor.

The sound of a second gunshot nearly gave me a heart-attack. I nearly dropped to the floor, instead ending up in a half-crouch as I saw the remains of the hanar dropping onto the floor. It had become diced sushi; Bau was gagging and peeling its tentacles off of his neck.

A flash of movement caught my eye; I saw Kasumi, gun in hand, jumping over a table and running over to the nearby console. Her fingers flew across the console she was at.

Bau coughed and choked again, rubbing his neck; he seemed to be recovering from the hanar attack. The dead hanar now lay at his feet, its innards spread all over the floor thanks to the fact that Kasumi had shot it.

I was too stunned to move. I had just fired a gun and killed someone... the feeling was very different than it had been when shooting at pixels and high-tech graphics in computer games. This was real. I could even smell the blood.

The only thing that snapped me out of it was the sound of an explosion. I looked up just in time to see Kasumi get knocked across the room, and disintegrate into thin air.

No... she was still alive. I knew that much. She was... just cloaked.

"She was here the whole time!" Bau exclaimed, finally recovering his ability to breath. "I was going to arrest her." He stepped forward, examining the area with a sweeping gaze, and then he sighed. He walked over to the console she had just used and checked it, tapping a few keys with his long, slender fingers.

"She did it," he said after a moment. "She saved the hanar." He bowed his head slightly, almost reverently. "She was... a very intelligent woman. She had an almost salarian mind."

He placed his hand on the broken console, as if saying goodbye or perhaps a salarian blessing for the afterlife to welcome her. Then he turned and came back toward me.

"Are you alright?" he asked me. "You look like you have never fired a gun before."

I gulped. "Never been good at it," I croaked.

He nodded. "Very well. Thank you for your assistance, Miss Sinclair. Do you... have somewhere to go?"

"I think... I just need to get back to the hospital," I murmured. "Don't worry, I can make it."

"I noticed you have multiple injuries," the salarian said, looking at me with concern. "Are they fresh? What happened to you?"

'Let's just say I was on Menae during a Reaper attack. I've been at the hospital, but um..." I swallowed, trying to bring some moisture into my incredibly dry mouth. "But I had this important information, and I wanted to help."

"I am glad you did," Bau told me. "We got here just in time, it seems." He gently took hold of my one and only arm, helping me to my feet. I hadn't even realized I was practically lying on the floor at that point. I was still stunned, and my head was starting to hurt more. Either the painkillers were wearing off or the stress was effecting me.

"I will get you back to the hospital, you look like you should be there," he told me. "Let's go."

I didn't argue. I half-leaned against him, half walked as he began to lead me toward the nearest elevator.

* * *

><p>Commander Shepard tapped her fingers against the helmet on the workbench impatiently, watching the elevator. James wasn't at his usual spot, though EDI did inform her that he was on his way. He'd been talking with Garrus in the mess. Shepard was glad; Garrus was a team player, and, to borrow a term she'd heard Jack use on at least one occasion, they didn't need a turd in the punchbowl.<p>

Cortez had the ship prepped and was in the seat like a good school boy, and EDI had promised she was on the way down. Now, all she had to do was wait.

Shepard eventually boarded the ship, unable to wait anymore, and stood behind Cortez's chair. "So tell me what I'm walking into with James," she said in a low voice.

Cortez looked back at her, a sheepish look on his face. "Uh, he'll come around, Commander," he said. "You're the CO."

"I prefer my crew to speak their mind," Shepard said. "What about you? Anything to add?"

"I'm adding... you're the CO. If you're on board, so'm I."

"It's appreciated."

"Yes, ma'am."

Shepard opened up her omni-tool out of habit, syncing into her personal email. She'd have to disconnect that link once they hit the ground - she didn't need Cerberus in her things. She had a new message - she opened it.

"You know," Cortez said, "I think he's just confused. Reapers, all this stuff - it's big."

Shepard wasn't listening.

"It's awe-inspiring."

The message was from Kasumi.

"But..."

_Shepard -_

"...sometimes..." Cortez's voice seemed much quieter, suddenly.

_- no joke, Sarah's on the Citadel. You either need to get here now or stay out. _

"It can be hard to understand."

_She's missing an arm and just saved Kahje's planetary shields. She knew who the informant was – I think she was intentionally seeking me out._

"I'm glad you kept up what you did, though." She could hear people getting on to the ship behind her.

_She's checked into Huerta Memorial under the name Sarah Sinclair, no more information. I'll let you know when I get more. Look up Jondum Bau, salarian Spectre._

"Believe it or not, Commander, you saved a lot of people. So you have my support, no matter what you do. Only weirder thing that we could do now is bring a Prothean aboard."

_Please get this, Shep. - Kasumi_

"Thanks," Shepard said, forcing a sense of awareness into her voice. "I like to believe things work themselves out eventually."

"Yeah, they will."

"Commander, Garrus and Liara send their luck," HK said.

Shepard glanced at him and nodded shortly.

Later.

"Let's get going," she said grimly.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N – **Almost two months later, we're back. :) We have read every comment and appreciate it all – we apologize that we can't answer them all! As for the lag, life tends to get in the way of things. But we're here, and we're back, and we're ready to roll!

* * *

><p><strong>(Sarah)<strong>

It felt good to be back in bed. I felt like I had just accomplished something; it was a good feeling and it made me proud, even if it was a bit unnerving.

I had killed someone back there. But... it wasn't something that could have been prevented. If I hadn't done anything, that thug would have killed me. Neyrata's death briefly flashed through my mind, but I quickly pushed it away. No, no... neither death was my fault... I had to keep telling myself that, or else I'd go crazy.

I closed my eyes and entered a state somewhere between meditation and sleep. It was a kind of mode I went into sometimes when I wanted to pray, or think about things, or even entertain self-pity parties. But hey, it wasn't like it'd bother anybody else.

I ended up drifting off to sleep... _again_.

I wasn't sure how much time had passed, but later I found myself slowly arousing. I heard a female voice who sounded close by. "I need to change this patient's dressing," she said. She sounded very sweet, even if I didn't know who she was. "I'm putting up the curtain."

"I wasn't aware that Miss Sinclair had any dressing to be changed," a male voice said. He sounded confused. "She did have an arm amputated, but overall, she has been alright."

"Doctor Kravos informed me of it just a little bit ago," the female voice, who I guessed was a nurse, said.

"Whatever," the other guy said. "I'm going on break. Meet you in the mess or are you skipping out again?"

"I have paperwork to do."

"Your loss. I'll bring you up something good."

"That'd be great, thanks."

A woman – late twenties maybe, olive-skinned, short black hair – walked in and expanded a curtain attached to the wall, obscuring my view of the door and the window on the other side of the room. Now I felt truly alone, except for a hyper-aware sense of the nurse in my private little space.

"Hello, Miss Sinclair," the nurse said, with a light smile. "How are you feeling today?"

"Pretty good," I said with a slight nod. Then I narrowed my eyes. "Wait a minute, all of my bandages were taken off, weren't they?" I lifted my bed linen and glanced at my arm. It wasn't exactly a pretty sight, but it was not dressed or bandaged. I felt the back of my head; that bandage had been removed as well.

I turned and eyed her suspiciously.

Shepard didn't raise no fools.

"All right... what's going on?" I demanded.

"Well, Miss Sinclair, you're smart; that's a good sign," the nurse said, a tight smile pasted on her face. The entire atmosphere in the room changed with the flick of a hat. "I've come here for something far more important, but what is said here does not leave this room. If you start to panic, this _will_ end badly for you."

My eyes widened slightly. I made a motion to fold my hands together atop my chest... and then I remembered I had only one hand. I simply rested it in the middle of my chest, casually. "Who are you?" I asked after a moment.

"I think this will speak for itself," she said, suddenly pulling out a small metal orb of some kind. A flick of her wrist and it hung in midair. It looked familiar. As she backed away, hands folded behind her back, a hologram appeared of a man I had only seen once during my stay in the Mass Effect universe...and probably not one I particularly cared to see again.

The Illusive Man.

Smoking a cigarette, as always, he looked at me. "Sarah," he said, in his diplomatic, yet sly, tone. That seemed to be his form of a greeting. "It seems you have a certain aversion to death."

I stared at him without blinking for a moment. "Don't do that," I said, pointing at his cigarette with one finger. "It'll kill you." Somehow, after everything that I'd been through lately... I wasn't entirely shocked about this. Or it just didn't affect me as much as I thought it would have.

"Right now, the only thing I am interested in is what will kill you and your friends," the Illusive Man stated, much the gentleman. "You all have a tendency to elude death. It _is_ fascinating, and perhaps a blessing in disguise in times like these."

"I suppose," I said with a shrug. "Then again," I pointed at my missing arm, "I'm not Superwoman, as you can see."

"Yet you may be, when it comes to this war," the Illusive Man pointed out, taking another puff of his cigarette. "I assume your other talents haven't suffered the same fate."

I sighed and lay back on the bed, rolling my eyes and looking up at the ceiling. I wasn't sure why, but... I felt more annoyed than anything at seeing him. Maybe I was getting used to all this crap, or maybe I'd been through so much lately that my nerves used up all of the fear I had in me. I was tired, mentally exhausted, and I just knew that if I got killed here, no big deal. I'd be back home, in the safety of my bedroom, with _both_ arms again.

"You're always watching," I commented. "But I'm not going to tell you, either way."

"Right," the Illusive Man said passively. I wasn't sure if he had confirmed that he'd been watching me or not. "The fact is, Sarah, this war can be solved in easier ways than the galaxy is aware of, and you are one of the few that knows those ways. I am willing to make you an offer."

I looked at him. I was more curious than anything else; I'd almost forgotten that there was a real live agent present in the room. At the moment, it felt like it was just me and the Illusive Man. "What kind of offer?" I asked.

"An offer to join Cerberus," the Illusive Man replied. He was still so calm and controlled, just like he always seemed to be. "An offer that you shouldn't take lightly. I do not make offers personally, in this manner, very often, but you warrant _special_ attention. And it is not an offer that I would extend to your two friends. They are... blinded, but I believe that you have more potential. Perhaps you actually see the truth they can't understand."

I blinked. "What do you mean they're blinded?" I asked. I knew that he was a sick, sick twisted man, and that he was indoctrinated. I was just trying to figure out where he was going with this. "What do you know about them? And why am I different?"

" With all the power that they wield, the knowledge that all three of you have at your fingertips, the two of them reduce themselves to being nothing but Commander Shepard's lapdogs, who is shortsighted herself. They ignore the thousands of opportunities before them," the Illusive Man explained to me. "I could see it during the mission to stop the Collectors. You take chances. We need this."

I considered. Well, I may have a head wound that would make me have a bald spot for at least a few weeks, but I wasn't stupid or mentally impaired. I was not going to betray Abby or HK, or Shepard, or anyone else. This man was working for the Reapers.

Still... would it hurt to play along at all? I knew it would be a very dangerous game, but... maybe I could help out from the inside. I could maybe even sabotage the Illusive Man's attempts somehow, and help Shepard...

Or I could get indoctrinated and end up spilling my secrets. Cerberus was extremely cruel to its own people. What if they got their hands on me, used truth serum on me to make me spill, and then turned me into a husk?

But then, if I refused... I eyed the woman in the corner for a second. What would they do to me?

"I'm listening," I said, stalling for time. "What would you propose? How would I... join up with you?"

"If you will join Cerberus, and tell me how to control the Reapers," the Illusive Man began, folding his hands as he generally did. "Then that will end this war much quicker, and with far fewer casualties; Abby and HK may even survive. While Cerberus moves to control the Reapers, I would offer you protection, safely away from all of the chaos in this galaxy. You would no longer have to worry about the numerous things you have had to worry about since you first joined the Normandy. You would be entirely safe...perhaps, if he is agreeable enough, your turian comrade could even join you."

Turian comrade...? Boy, he really did have his fingers in every pot. Were there any walls that didn't have Cerberus ears? I almost wondered if they could compete with the Shadow Broker for how much intel they had.

Then again, it was them who told Liara where the Shadow Broker was in the first place, and forced her to blow up the Shadow Broker's ship...

"Somehow I doubt he'd want to come along," I sighed, still playing along for the moment. "Besides, he's not in the best condition right now."

I sat up, picking up my pillow and placing it on top of my legs. "So... you want know what my answer is?" I asked.

"I'd advise that you not play games," the Illusive Man warned, very calmly, yet almost threateningly.

I grinned. Then I gripped my pillow and threw it at his hologram. It went right through his head and sailed across the room.

"Just get the fuck out," I said, grabbing my linens as if threatening to throw that, too.

"What other options do you have?" the Illusive Man asked, almost unmoved by my action. He was a master at keeping his poker face, that much I knew. "Go back to Shepard? She left you to die, all to save a leader that, for all intents and purposes, would not even have been needed if she had rescued you in time and convinced you to tell her about the Reapers. Shepard has consistently neglected any needs that you have and left you to fend for yourself. She never understood you. You worked with us once. You know that Cerberus treats its people far better."

"I've seen what people are going to do and what they have done, remember?" I said. "You guys turn people into husks, and you'll torture a lot of people if you get the chance. I already know about the terrible things you're gonna do. GET OUT." I threw my linens at him; they sailed through his mid-section.

Still... I suppose those words did hit a nerve. It was safe to say that me and Shepard had... never gotten along very well. I frowned a little at the thought, looking away. He knew exactly which buttons to press.

"Humanity is going to ascend to far greater heights than it ever has before," the Illusive Man said, his voice rising. Silence. Then, I heard him sigh, and it seemed he was calming back down. "Unfortunately, I can see that you are not going to willingly join us."

He began to turn towards his agent, but he gave one last glance at me. "I'll admit, I always wished for a chance to examine you and your friends ever since you first showed up on the Normandy. Shepard was the only one standing in my way; now, there is no one left to protect you," he said. Then, he turned to his agent. "Subdue her. Get her off the Citadel, and I will transmit the coordinates of your destination to you soon enough."

She nodded, starting to move forward. "Yes, sir," she replied.

As she grabbed the metal orb, his hologram vanished.

My eyes flew wide. I quickly looked around the room, knowing that I was in for a fate worse than death right now. If she captured me, the knowledge in my head might end up betraying everyone.

I scrambled over the side of the bed and scooted myself under it, even though I knew that I was only delaying the inevitable. My breathing became more rapid, and my heartbeat increased. "Help!" I tried to yell, but it only came out in a barely audible squeak.

I could hear, and see, her boots approaching, but all of a sudden, I heard something that almost sounded like a buzz of some sort, and a large...well, I didn't know what to call it except a large clunk. Suddenly, from my awkward position, I could see the agent's entire body collapse to the floor.

I stared at her for a few seconds that seemed like forever, but it didn't take long for me to notice that her chest wasn't moving. She was dead.

It took several seconds for me to build up enough courage to reach out and touch the fallen body. It did not move, which only confirmed that she was a dead duck.

That was the third person I'd seen die right in front of me since this insanity began. Why did people who attacked me keep dying around me? And how did I end up staying alive?

The first time, Neyrata had died and I had only lived because Irren had protected me. The second time, I lived because I pulled a trigger. This time, I lived because...

I blinked. "Kas-"

I didn't get a chance to say her name.

"What is going on in here?" Dr. Michel asked in an alarmed, yet controlled, tone as she and another staff member, a man that looked to be in his mid-thirties, said as they rushed in. Dr. Michel looked around the room, from the dead body, to me, then to the holographic interface.

"Kaela!" the man said, as Dr. Michel immediately rushed to the dead "nurse's" side, crouching down. I recognized his voice; he was the one she was talking to when I woke up.

"No pulse," Dr. Michel said grimly. She turned the woman over with expert fingers and placed her hands on her chest. "Get me a medical team." She began CPR. "She's _burned._ From _what?_"

The medical team ripped aside the curtain less than three minutes later and lifted the woman's body off of the floor and on to the bed. Another nurse took over CPR from a perch on the bed. They wheeled her off, the man following close behind.

Dr. Michel looked at me again, a little out of breath. Suddenly, she sounded a lot calmer. "Sarah, are you alright? What happened in here?"

"She worked for Cerberus," I answered, carefully crawling out from under the bed. Dr. Michel grabbed my arm and one of my shoulders, helping me to my feet and sitting me down on the bed. "She tried to kill me."

Dr. Michel looked a lot more alarmed than she had, and she looked pretty alarmed in the first place. "Cerberus?" she repeated with a gasp, though she still sounded fairly calm. She wasn't panicking, at least. "What is Cerberus doing in this hospital? What exactly happened?"

"I... uh..." I swallowed. "It's a long story." I was glad that she was here. There was safety in numbers after all, right? The only thing that irritated me a little was that... if Kasumi was indeed present-and I don't know who else could have killed the Cerberus woman like that and remained undetected-then she probably wouldn't reveal herself with so many people around. After all, she was "dead".

But did that mean she might not reveal herself to me, at all? That thought made me a little sad.

I sighed. "Let's just say... I have a lot of information that is... dangerous to have," I said slowly. "Cerberus wanted me to join them. I refused, so that agent was gonna kill me. Then somehow..." I shrugged. "She just dropped dead." I knew how it probably happened, and who was behind it. A little thing called "shadow strike". Nevertheless, I couldn't say anything about Kasumi.

Dr. Michel activated her omni-tool. "Get C-Sec down here," she commanded, calmly but firmly.

"_Yes, ma'am."_

She looked back at me. "Did you sustain any injuries?"

"No," I said quickly, shaking my head a little. "Nothing new, at least," I commented, indicating my arm and vaguely referencing my other injuries. "What is C-sec gonna do?" I asked. Ugh, I did _not_ want a guard placed near my room or to spend the next hour being interrogated.

Well... I suppose that having a guard would be a good safety precaution, if they chose to do that. But... it simply seemed that I already had a guardian angel.

Soon I was moved to another room, and from what I gathered C-Sec officers arrived a short time later to investigate the room, the body, and to ask me questions. Dr. Michel was present during the interrogation (that's what it felt like to me) and I tried to be as helpful as I could.

However, when they asked me why Cerberus tried to kill me, I could only say that I had too much information. The officer then said that if I truly knew something, I should spill, possibly be put into protective custody. I refused to say anything, although I did mention that they knew about my "turian friend" as well; I was worried about him.

In the end, the officers decided to scan and search the entire hospital for possible C-sec bugs, along with what few staff the hospital could spare at the moment. A guard was temporarily placed outside of Irren's room and one outside of my room as well. And apparently, they were going to do a thorough review of the entire hospital staff to make sure there wasn't anybody present who wasn't supposed to be there.

And until then... I was alone. Or so they thought, but I'd had a hope that I wasn't.

She didn't decloak - she was too good for that. But, call it a sixth sense or whatever you would, I 'felt' her next to me. I didn't know if she was standing there, looking down at me, or looking at my medical chart, which was in a pocket on the wall beside me.

I decided to be quiet as a mouse. If Kasumi wanted to talk to me, she would. And, thankfully, she did.

"You know," the much-missed, invisible voice said lightly, "I've missed getting your ass out of trouble."

I tried to suppress a grin, but I couldn't. I glanced around the room out of impulse, but of course I knew I wouldn't see her. Instead I rested my head against my pillow and gazed upward, toward the ceiling. "I knew you'd be around," I said cheerfully, keeping my voice quiet. I didn't want the guard to poke his head in, or anyone to think I was talking to myself. "And um... thanks for what you did in the other room."

"I didn't want you to die before I got to interrogate you myself," Kasumi replied. Her voice sounded... strange. It was light, like she was joking, but... something wasn't right. An inkling of unease stirred in my chest. "But I'm guessing that you and Cerberus aren't exactly going to pal around. But you could be a sleeper agent. We wouldn't want that."

I looked in the general area where she might have been, and I narrowed my eyes. "You don't really think I'm crooked, do you?" I asked. "I just helped you save the Hanar and I turned down the Illusive Man. What else do you want me to do?" I shifted slightly, feeling a bit uncomfortable. The painkillers were wearing off; the cuts and scrapes on my legs and abdomen were starting to ache a bit, and the stump where my left arm used to be was starting to itch a little. When would it stop doing that?

"I just want the truth this time."

I sighed. "What kind of truth?" I stalled. Part of me hoped that I wasn't annoying her or anything. And why did I still have a... funny feeling?

Her voice suddenly hardened. "Guess."

"Well... either you want me to spill everything I know about the future, or you want to know how the heck I'm... alive right now," I concluded. I swallowed. I began to wonder if this was anything like what happened to Abby and HK when they first met Shepard again at the start of all this. The Commander had been... accepting of my presence, I guess, because she had already seen them. What would have happened if she had seen me first?

Did they have to convince Shepard that they were who they said they were? And... why did I suddenly feel like I wasn't entirely... safe? I pressed my lips into a thin line. Surely Kasumi wouldn't do anything to me, she knew me...

Right?

"Start with the second one, go from there," Kasumi said evenly.

I opened my mouth and closed it a couple of times. "I can't really explain that," I finally said. "I mean... it's um... it's just not something I can tell you." There was no way she'd get it or believe it if I told her the truth, and I wasn't sure what else to tell her. In this kind of situation, I wasn't as good as Abby at coming up with believable lies to tell on the spot.

Kasumi didn't answer. She appeared to be waiting me out for this one.

And if I didn't have a satisfactory answer... would she really let me leave this room again?

I decided not to test her patience. I licked my lips and stared up at the ceiling for a moment, gathering my thoughts. "Okay," I said. "I can tell you that I'm fine. I'm not a husk and I don't have any Reaper tech in me." I pointed at my neck. "See that? That's the only remnant left of that stupid spider husk... or whatever it was." After I said that, I wasn't sure if it was really a good idea to point that out or not.

I cleared my throat and continued. "The only thing I can tell you is that I went to Palaven's moon, Menae... I just kind of ended up there. I'm not even sure how. So I sought out Garrus, and I talked to him. He assigned a bodyguard to me-the turian who came here with me; his name is Irren Lokam. I knew that Shepard would be coming eventually, so I... stayed at the turian camp."

I paused for breath, then went on. "Shepard finally did show up, but... when the brutes broke into the camp, I panicked and ran." I decided to leave out the part where I heard Reapers in my head... for now. "Me and Irren got caught in a landslide caused by a harvester. I guess Shepard thought we died; she left once her business was done, I'd say. The next thing I know, I'm here at the hospital with a missing arm."

I practically held my breath while I waited for her response.

"Shepard was on Menae?" Kasumi asked. "Never mind. You're here. Why would the turians send you to the Citadel?"

"I'm not sure," I admitted. "I know that Garrus got the Citadel to accept their wounded... and I think General Corinthus got the impression that I was... important. Garrus was given some kind of promotion, I think, because he's the closest thing they had to a Reaper expert." I frowned. That made me wonder if a turian-maybe even the Primarch himself-was going to come check up on me eventually. Then again... I didn't see anybody checking on me after I was nearly killed. There were a few turians present when C-sec had arrived, but I figured they were all C-sec officers. But, you never know.

Come to think of it, my guard outside my room was a turian...

"Is Garrus with Shepard right now?" Kasumi asked.

"Yeah, he is," I answered. "Chakwas is also with her-at least I'd imagine so-and Abby and HK are with her, too. Ummm..." I wracked my brain. "I know that Engineer Adams is onboard, and... possibly Gabby and Kenneth, unless Shepard didn't give them approval yet..." I sighed, rubbing my head warily. "I don't know, I'm not even sure what Shepard is doing right now. I'm sure she'll be back, though; she'll want to visit Kaidan."

Kasumi didn't say anything for a long time, and then I felt something - a hand - squeeze my shoulder. I heard a sniff. "Okay. I'll believe you again. I - Okay. I'm done trying to make sense of it all. Call the nurse in and ask her for water. I need to slip out and do something."

"Huh?" I said. "What're you doing?" However, I got no reply.

Well... since I was trying to be on my best behavior, especially ever since the Cerberus incident, I did exactly as Kasumi asked. I paged a nurse and asked her to bring me some water. I looked at the woman warily as she entered, but I relaxed when I realized it was the same person who'd been with me when I regained consciousness.

She asked me how I was holding up, and I said I was fine.

I lay there quietly for quite some time, just sipping my water. I waited for Kasumi to say something, and occasionally I softly said her name, hoping she would respond. Nothing.

Eventually I finished the glass, and then I realized I had to use the restroom, which turned out to be a little... awkward. The guard accompanied me to the restroom, went in first and looked around inside. Thankfully, once he was satisfied there was no one in there, he stood outside the bathroom while I did my business.

I was relieved to get back to my room, and back to my bed. I pulled the linens up to my chin; somehow... it just made me feel a little better to keep my... well, to keep the fact that I didn't have a left arm anymore covered up. But I knew that I wouldn't be able to "keep it hidden" forever. The hospital provided a sanctuary in some ways... if you were in these walls, you fit in if you were sick or... deformed somehow, or missing part of your flesh.

But out there... I'd be the weirdo without an arm. Then again... I doubt Shepard would care that I was missing an arm; she wouldn't treat me differently, would she? Abby and HK would wonder how it happened, but they wouldn't care either. They wouldn't treat me differently, I knew.

The next time the nurse came in to check on me, Kasumi must have slipped in, because as soon as the nurse left I felt that familiar presence by my bedside. "I made a few calls," she said. "You're on the priority list for a prosthetic and Thane's promised to watch for weirdos." I heard a sigh. "I need to go. There are... other things I need to be doing right now. I'll be back tonight. Look, C-Sec is going to grill you. I saw their men in the other room with the body, but I was able to pull Bailey on to the case. Be nice to him, he and Thane will keep you safe until I get back."

"Wait," I said hesitantly, "where are you going?" I was a little... surprised that she was leaving so quickly. "Oh and... thanks for everything you're doing," I added quickly. "I'll try to help Bailey." Okay, it really did feel weird talking to someone I really liked but couldn't see.

I heard something in Kasumi's voice I'd never heard before: exhaustion. "The past six months haven't been a cakewalk," she said. "I'm in the middle of something important - I can't explain it here, but Cerberus is involved. It's... delicate. They've almost gotten me more than once, but I'm not out of the game yet." I thought I heard her chuckle. "Don't die on me again - I'll be back. Promise."

I smiled in her direction. "I'll looking forward to hearing your voice again," I said. I couldn't say I'd be seeing her, since she had to be careful-and I hadn't seen her yet. "And um... just thanks for being my guardian angel in the other room."

* * *

><p>I liked Bailey as soon as I saw him. He was pretty firm at times, but only in the way that all military men were. I could tell he had a good heart and he did have a gentle side, just as he did in the game. He asked me several questions, and then he asked me how I was holding up. He then gave me a pat on my good shoulder, and then he told me to take it easy. He left shortly after that.<p>

And then I was served dinner by one of the nurses and left alone to eat it. It left me feeling agitated and lonely, and not just because the food tasted terrible. There were a bunch of things annoying me and worrying me... and the questions from Bailey only made it worse.

Just how did Cerberus know that I was here? How'd they find me, and how did they get in? I was under guard now, but the fact that Ceberus would attack the station at some point in the future didn't make me feel any better.

So who told them I was here? Kai Leng probably wasn't here yet, and the only other person I knew of who would be working for Cerberus was Udina...

...Udina...

No way. It just couldn't be.

Could it?

If that was somehow true, it was enough to scare the crap out of me.

I sucked in a deep breath, shoving my mostly untouched food aside. I didn't feel like eating that crap anyway. In fact, I was getting pretty sick of just sitting here and doing nothing. I didn't want to wait around for that prosthetic, and I didn't want to feel like everybody was babysitting me.

Didn't I spend enough time confined to one place on the Normandy, back during the mission against the Collectors? Sure, that had been... largely my fault. But right now, I was interested in trying to do something useful. I saved the hanar, I could do more... right?

But what exactly could I do? And how was I supposed to get past my guards? Thane would be especially difficult to get past... and I wasn't very good at this sort of thing.

I sighed. Well, if nothing else, I could get up and stretch my legs, right? Sure, Dr. Michel said that I should be getting plenty of bed rest, but I felt too agitated to stay in one place. I was bored, and if I couldn't be more useful, I wanted to get up and walk around.

I carefully got up and approached the door; it took me a moment to find the door mechanism. I was still trying to get used to having only one arm. When I found the release switch, the door opened and I saw the turian guard standing out there.

He turned to look at me. "Miss Sinclair," he acknowledged me. "Do you need something?"

"Yeah," I said, "I just want to get out of this room for a while. I'm gonna go stir-crazy otherwise."

The turian inclined his head. "Very well," he said with a little shrug, "but I'm ordered to accompany you whenever you leave your room."

Great. I was going to have a shadow. "Fine," I said with a little shrug.

Sure enough, he proceeded to follow me as I began to wander around the hospital. Part of me considered the idea of visiting Kaidan or something, but well... I didn't really want to bother him. He was probably still recovering, after all. And I was trying not to cause problems, right?

I ended up wandering into a different room, which had two asari in it. One of them was staring up at the ceiling as if seeing something far, far away that only she could see; it was as if her essence had withdrawn, leaving her eyes empty and her face expressionless. The other one was sitting upright in her bed, looking more bored than anything.

My turian shadow followed me into the room and did a quick glance inside. Then, apparently deciding that there was nothing out of the ordinary, he stepped back outside to guard the door. Apparently he was allowing me to visit the asari, though he was within earshot if anything should go wrong.

"Um, hi," I said, giving a little wave. "I'm uh... just passing through."

"Hi yourself," the asari who was sitting up said. "I'm Jylida. What's your name?"

"Sarah."

"Well, Sarah, what brings you in here?" Jylida asked.

"I'm bored," I said with a little shrug. "I just wanted to see who else was here." I chuckled a little. "Actually I want to get out of here, but they won't let me out," I said.

Jyilda chuckled a little as well. "Don't we all," she said. "I'm just waiting for my test results to come back."

Right that moment, as if someone had pushed an invisible button or said the wrong thing at the wrong moment, the other asari's face suddenly changed from blank to haunted. Her eyes began to dart around the room wildly.

"You...you look like one of them," the asari said, looking at me with a mortified look. "One of the husks that I fought. You could be turned into one of those things! You could turn on us at any time! Jylida, this woman could kill us!"

I gulped. Could she somehow sense that I'd used to be a husk? I knew that the asari who worked for the Rachni could recognize Shepard by her "aura" in Mass Effect 2... was this something similar? I started to wonder if I should leave the room.

"Aeian, calm down," Jylida gently but firmly told the other asari. "She's just a visitor; she's not going to hurt you or anyone else." Jylida then looked at me thoughtfully. "I doubt you could do much with only one arm anyway, honey," she commented at me.

"I only talk to asari. I don't want to be around humans," Aeian said, not in an angry way, but a calmer, almost depressed way. She seemed a little less anxious. "I need a gun. I want a gun."

"Aeian," Jylida said more gently, "you need to relax. I can call a nurse to get you a sedative if you want; it'll make you feel better."

"Putting me to sleep every time isn't going to help and you know it," Aeian said sharply.

"I can just go," I said, already turned toward the door. I didn't want to bother somebody who was obviously traumatized, and... I didn't really need to hear this right now.

"No, no, please stay," Jylida said. "I'm bored and I'd like you to visit, if you're willing to stay. Just... come around to this side of my bed, away from her, and sit down she can't see you."

I cast a quick glance toward Aeian, and then I slowly began to walk toward Jylida's bedside. There was already a chair there, as if she had frequent visitors.

"The last human I was around...I-I killed!" Aeian exclaimed, looking at me worriedly. "You should go. I'm dangerous, I can't be trusted. I could kill you!"

I slipped around to the side of Jylida's bed, and instead of sitting in the chair I sank down onto the floor, hoping to get out of Aeian's sight. Maybe she would forget I was even here.

"So uh... what're you in here for?" I asked conversationally.

Jylida shrugged. "Oh, I've been having some problems with my sex life," she said, as casually as if we were discussing the weather. "I'm not an Ardat-Yakshi, thank the goddess, but apparently I cause... problems whenever I sleep with someone." She frowned down at me as I sat huddled on the floor. "You probably don't even know what an Ardat-Yakshi is, do you?"

"Actually... I do," I said with a cough.

"Oh. Well anyway," Jylida pressed on without pause, "apparently I give people powerful orgasms whenever I sleep with them. The last one had an orgasm that was so powerful that he kicked me out of bed. I'm... _very_ pleased that I can pleasure other species so much, but I'm getting tired of sustaining bruises and concussions over it." She sighed. "Unfortunately, the doctors haven't told me what's causing this yet."

This was... more information than I needed to know. I coughed again, awkwardly, after she stopped talking.

"I wanna get out of this hospital," I murmured before I could stop myself.

"I understand. I've been in so many therapy sessions... I just want to leave. I've asked them to transfer me... all I want is my gun," Aeian agreed, sounding a little more... friendly now. Just a little, but I could tell that she was still very emotionally removed from all of this. "_I need my gun_."

Since it seemed like Aeian wasn't going to freak out at me now, I got up off the floor and took a seat in the chair. "I really want to get out of here for a little while," I said to both of them. "But the hospital staff won't let me walk out. There's at least two people watching me right now-the turian guarding the door, and a drell." I didn't say Thane's name, since he probably wouldn't want it said.

"Ah," Jylida said. "I'd love to leave this place, though I really need to wait for my test results." She sighed. "What're you in for?" she asked.

"I was caught in an avalanche," I said. "Mostly... I'm just waiting for my arm, but... let's just say there's some other stuff going on, and C-sec won't let me leave."

"C-Sec?" Jylida raised her eyebrows high on her forehead. If she'd had any hair, they might have disappeared beneath her bangs. "My goodness, are you a criminal?"

"No, I have information that Cerberus wants." Ugh, I really hoped I wasn't saying too much.

"Oh," Jylida exclaimed. "Then you're the one who was in the middle of that ruckus earlier. Isn't it true that someone died in your room?"

I swallowed. "Yeah," I said.

"My, my. I'm not saying I want that to happen in my room, but it sure sounds like a step up from the boredom I face in here," Jylida remarked, and sighed wistfully.

"Was it a human that died? Did you...kill him or her? What did they look like?" Aeian asked, staring at me with that blank look.

"Uh, my friend killed her," I said meekly. I didn't want to talk about this, and I didn't want to stir her up, either.

I cleared my throat, and I tried to get the subject back on track. "Look um... can you think of any way for me to... you know, get out of here?" I asked quietly.

Jylida pursed her lips. "Hey, Aeian," she said, turning her head to look at her roommate, "you said you want a gun, right?"

"Yes! I need my gun...without my gun, I killed everyone...Hilary...I need my gun. It's the only way I can stop this!" Aeian exclaimed, a little more passionately.

"Then all you need to do is take it from the nice turian when he comes inside," Jylida said to her. "Get up out of the bed, and Sarah here will call him inside. Okay?"

Oh boy. I sure hoped I wasn't about to make things a lot worse in here...

"I can't take a gun from one of those turian...things. I couldn't, not on Tiptree," Aeian said, calmly, yet hurriedly and anxiously. "How can you expect me to do it here?"

"Look, I'll knock him on his ass with a biotic push, and then you can take the gun," Jylida said. "Then you can help us defend the hospital. Okay?"

...What was I getting myself into? Somehow I knew there was no turning back now, though. Jylida was very bored and looking for some excitement wherever she could get it. She actually seemed to be warming up to this plan more and more.

Aeian was silent for a moment. "Yes, yes...no more humans will die by my hand. No, no. I need my gun! I need it now!" she exclaimed. Jylida was really pumping her up about this.

Jylida grinned. "Good!" she said. Then she reached over and gave me a pat on the shoulder. "Get him in here, and stay out of my line of fire," she told me.

I hesitated, staring at her for a moment. Then I stood up and did the only thing I could think of; I screamed at the top of my lungs.

The turian barged into the room so quickly he almost didn't give the door enough time to open first. Once he was inside, Jylida released a powerful biotic wave that sent him crashing into the wall with just enough force to knock him out. His assault rifle fell from his grasp and clattered onto the floor.

"Get the gun!" Jylida encouraged her asari friend, with an almost schoolgirl delight. She practically giggled, which made me question her sanity a little.

Aeian darted for the gun, almost jumping for it, and she grabbed it. She looked fascinated with it, yet she still had that blank look on her face. "Finally...I won't have to kill any more people. Any more farmers. I...I won't have to go through that anymore. I can't let myself be a danger like that...I won't have to look at that nurse anymore...she looks so much like Hilary...I won't do anything to her or anyone else here..."

With that, all of a sudden, Aeian pointed the gun at herself... and she fired. Seconds later, she collapsed onto the ground.

I screamed again. Moments later, Dr. Michel and a couple of medical attendants rushed in. "What is-_oh my God_," Michel exclaimed, and immediately rushed to Aeian's side.

"She's bleeding-get the gun away from her!" one of the aides shouted.

"She just grazed the side of her head," I heard Michel say. I gulped, and I let out a gasp of relief as those words sank in. She wasn't dead... she hadn't killed herself... yet, at least. "Give me the gun!" I heard Michel say in a gentle, firm tone-and I heard the sounds of struggling.

Jylida was out of her bed by now, and somehow she seemed to be sober yet mildly enjoying the chaos at the same time. It was as if she was getting into a good television drama or something. Either she had been extremely bored, or _she_ was simply nuts.

"Sarah," she suddenly hissed at me, pointing toward the door. "Go! Go, girl!"

I glanced at Michel and the medical aides; they seemed to be getting the gun away from the poor asari on the ground. I gulped, and decided that this was my chance to go.

However, just as I slipped out the door, I literally ran into Thane, pretty much smacking face-first into his chest.

"Sarah," the drell said, looking at me with a calm, yet very concerned, tone. "What is going on in there? What are you doing out of your room?"

I opened my mouth and then closed it again, stammering a little. Before I could manage a coherent sentence, however, I suddenly heard something that caused me to start-and even distracted Thane momentarily.

"Oh my, you never said that drell was a sexy beast," Jylida exclaimed as she rushed out of the room behind me. She then practically jumped on Thane, throwing her arms around him and pressing her lips against his cheek. She might have locked lips with him if he hadn't moved.

Thane quickly seemed to resist and began to throw Jylida off of him. "I am sorry, miss, but I am not here for these activities," he told her, as if trying to gently humor her. Perhaps he had to deal with these people more often than it seemed.

"Honey, I'll make your wildest dreams come true," Jylida said quietly, brushing her lips against his ear. "After I'm through with you, you won't know which way is up. And you won't care." She grabbed his crotch, hard enough to make his entire body stiffen in response. "Mine," she giggled.

I took that as my cue to slip away. As I hurried off, I could hear a little of their continuing struggle before I was out of earshot:

"I really do believe it would be best for you to return to your room..." I could hear Thane say as he continued to try to throw her off of him. Normally, Thane could probably break the woman's neck within an instant, but he had to be more gentle now. This wasn't one of his targets.

I couldn't help but laugh a little bit as I hurried away and left the inpatient wing. I knew that what was happening around me-the chaos I'd helped cause-was not funny, but I still had an evil, mischievous side. I figured they would all be okay, one way or another.

I knew I had to act quickly, before someone found me and put a guard on me again. Otherwise all of this would have been for nothing. I saw two C-sec guards at the main elevator, so I knew I couldn't go out that way.

What I ended up doing was going into a side room back in the inpatient wing, where a few corpses had been placed inside individual body bags. Apparently some of the patients, possibly war victims, hadn't been as lucky as others. Still, I knew that this was possibly my chance; I slipped into one of the empty body bags... and I just had to hope they wouldn't check inside, or zip it up. They were air-tight, after all.

About twenty minutes later the orderlies began to stack the body bags onto a large cart, or something, and wheel them out of the hospital. And that's how I made my great escape. I simply had to wait until I was out of the hospital, and until the orderlies were out of the elevator on one of the other levels... and then I slipped away from them when they weren't looking and made it back to the elevator.

I let out a huge sigh of relief as I hit the button to take me to the docks area, where the refugees would be. Okay, that had... gone more or less as planned. I simply focused on slowing my breathing and calming myself down while I waited for the elevator to arrive at its destination.

When I finally arrived, I exited the elevator and wandered into the refugee area. I felt like some kind of secret agent or something as I began to head down to the heart of the refugees, feeling quite smug at the way I'd slipped out of the hospital right under everyone's noses.

I was going to see if I could take care of one more job for Shepard. I saved the Hanar, so I should be able to do something more without screwing it up, right? It would help people out, and it would give Shepard one less job to worry about. The Commander would have enough on her plate as it was.

I was going to seek out Sayn the salarian, who was Jona Sederis's second in command in the Eclipse gang. Maybe if I could approach him and convince him to kill Sederis... well, Aria would be happy, if nothing else.

The only problem was... how was I going to convince Bailey to let her out? He would only listen to someone like Shepard on the matter, and she was not here. He'd have no reason to listen to me, even if I knew a lot about the future in this universe.

But I decided to focus on one problem at a time; find the salarian. Which turned out to be easier said than done, because the refugee area was very, very large-there were a lot more people here than I remembered in the game. I got lost several times, and my injuries distracted me and hindered my concentration. A few individuals gave me a helping hand though, and even tried to help me find the salarian. Maybe they thought I was a wounded soldier or something.

Eventually, with a little bit of help, I found Sayn. He was sitting in a fairly secluded area, with a couple of guards near him. I cleared my throat, and I was just about to approach him... when something happened that made me start.

Jona Sederis herself appeared out of nowhere, as if just arriving. She strolled right past me as if I wasn't there, and she approached her second-in-command, who rose as she approached. I swallowed, and watched their exchange from a not-so-safe distance-but they weren't paying attention to me anyway.

"Sederis!" Sayn exclaimed. "Bailey let you out? I thought-"

"Oh, please. That duct rat couldn't hold me; the Council ordered that he release me, and the old bag of bones couldn't keep me for long," Jona said, in her pompous, confident, almost diva-like tone that she used in the game. She rubbed the back of her head, as if trying to smooth her hair over...when she didn't have any. "And now I am back and ready to bring the Eclipse back to glory, and exact my revenge. Don't worry, Sayn, I'm ready to put you back on your leash."

Oh good gracious. Aria would be happy, but... I also knew that this wasn't good. And this was... different from the game. Or did I have it confused? Had Shepard already gotten around to this? Had she told Bailey to released Jona?

No... I refused to think that our Amelia Shepard would do something like that. Not the way she did things, not the way she thought. She was a woman of morals, for the most part. She wouldn't do that.

Every instinct in me told me to turn around and run. There was no reason to stay here now. And I should simply get back to the safety of the guards, at the hospital. This asari was not one to be trifled with.

But still... this meant that Aria would never bring up the Eclipse with Shepard, and so Shepard would never do anything, right?

I cleared my throat, not quite sure what I was doing. The nearby Eclipse guards were already looking at me. "Um, excuse me?" I said tentatively, almost timidly.

"Oh, Sayn, who is this?" Jona asked, irritated. "I told you not to get too trigger happy with the new recruits... What the hell!"

She motioned towards me, disgusted.

I flinched involuntarily. Then I scowled up at her. "Excuse me," I said, "I just wanted to talk to Sayn for a moment." I gave the salarian a meaningful glance.

"Me?" Sayn asked, blinking. He looked almost nervous, next to Jona.

Jona narrowed her eyes at me. "Excuse me? I'll have you know that I am the leader of Eclipse, and now, I have returned to my rightful throne. This spineless salarian is not in charge, nor was he ever in charge. Even from my cell, I have always called the shots, so however you were able to join my organization, I do not know, but you will speak to me, not him."

I cleared my throat. Then I focused my eyes on Sederis's chin, because... well, I knew that if I looked at her eyes, I would lose my nerve very, very quickly. "Why?" I asked with a little shrug. "I mean... he'd be even better at leading the Eclipse than you. Under his leadership the Eclipse would thrive, and all he has to do is shoot you in the back." I cast Sayn another meaningful glance, hoping he would take the hint. I just hoped he wouldn't require too much convincing.

Jona looked at me with a very, very insulted look. "Blasphemy!" she shouted. "This pathetic excuse of a man is just a tool, a tool to be used, and there is only one leader of Eclipse, and _that_ is Jona Sederis. I have returned, and I am going to exact revenge on all of those who have gone after me. Perhaps you will make some good practice...your head will look so delightful on my living room mantle."

I gritted my teeth, looking at the salarian. He looked... a bit uncertain, but obviously frightened. He didn't look like he was going to make a move.

Maybe it was time for drastic action. I grabbed one of Jona's arms with my one and only arm, yanking her and making a feeble attempt to wrestle her to the ground-which did not work too well. "SAYN, SHOOT HER!" I yelled. "I'll help you!"

"You underestimate the utter power that I wield! No one would dare try to kill me, and anyone miserable enough to try, like you, obviously has nothing left to live for!" Jona yelled, immediately shoving me to the ground very forcefully, with the help of biotics. She grabbed a knife, and looked as if she was suddenly...very bloodthirsty. "Ohh yes...ohhhh yes. Your head will make such a nice start to my collection."

My eyes flew wide. In this instant, I realized that I should have left when I'd had the chance. Hell, I shouldn't have left my room at the hospital. I shrieked and scooted back from her just as she came at me, her blade directed at my throat. I managed to roll out of the way, kicking up at her the best I could-but then she caught my shin with one hand, and decided to attack my leg instead.

I screamed.

"Legs are no piece of art; they will not do for any mantle. You will pay even more for that!" Jona vowed, sticking her knife into my leg and cutting into it very deep...I could almost feel her using all of her strength to cut into it. Refugees and various others were now gathering around us, watching in horror, but I could barely focus on them because of the agonizing pain.

"Yes, galactic citizens, yes! Watch as Jona Sederis returns to all of her greatness, and as she takes her vengance upon those who have harmed her or her organization! Eclipse will pay back everyone that has ever tried to do us damage, just like this!" Jona yelled victoriously to the crowd, before driving her knife deeper into my leg. Blood was coming out eveywhere, and in the midst of all the pain, I could see her look at the blood and scoop some up in her free hand.

"Blood...oh how I have missed the sight of my enemies bleeding to death before me..." she remarked, continuing to shove the knife deep inside my leg.

"STOP IT," I shrieked, and I bit my lower lip so hard that I tasted blood in my mouth. My leg was becoming a mangled mess right in front of my eyes, and I was powerless to stop it. "Please," I added in a more pleading tone, "stop it..."

"Every Eclipse sister must commit a murder in order to get her full privledges," Jona hissed at me, looking...almost excited now. "It is what Eclipse is built on."

Then, I could see her charging up her biotics again, and all of a sudden...she sent them straight towards my leg, and I could feel the splitting pain of the bone shattering. "Yes, oh, yes! Scream and show that Jona Sederis does not take her enemies lightly, nor does she show mercy!" she exclaimed.

I couldn't hold back the scream this time. I felt excruciating agony; my leg, which had taken the full brunt of that biotic attack, now lay in ruins. My blood and torn bits of flesh were scattered all around me, and some of it was splattered on my clothes and even my face. Even my shoe, which still had what remained of my foot in it, was severely mangled and damaged. All that remained of my leg was little more than a bloody stump and some sharp, haggard pieces of cracked bone and dripping flesh.

The last thing I heard before I lost consciousness to pain and blood loss was the sound of a gun being fired.

* * *

><p>I must have drifted in and out several times... at least that's what it felt like. I saw many things, and I must have had some strange dreams. I saw the husk spider as it lead me through a forest again, just it could lead me to my husk self where they both could attack me...<p>

...And then I saw one dream where Erin, HK's dumb bimbo OC, had hijacked a Reaper and convinced them to gather up all the cutest men in the universe for her...

The first nightmare left me terrified and drained. The second one simply made me feel numb inside, as if my brain had oozed out of my right ear and drained all of my intellect.

When I finally regained consciousness, my entire body felt numb. There was an IV hooked up to my one and only arm, and I was staring up at the ceiling.

"Sarah," Dr. Michel's calm, soothing voice suddenly said. I didn't even know she was here, but I was still only just regaining consciousness. "How're you feeling? You've had a long day."

...Had a long day? I almost wanted to laugh and howl in frustration at the same time. Had a long day meant that I got stuck doing chores all day long. But this...

I saw that asari's crazed, bloodthirsty eyes flash through my mind again. I shuddered. A small sob escaped my throat as my eyes darted around the room, finally to settle on Dr. Michel's face.

"How did I get here?" I asked in a quiet voice. "Where is that bitch who attacked me?"

"She's dead," Dr. Michel said with a long, heavy sigh. She was silent for a brief second. "Tannor Nuara, the drell that you apparently know, found you in the refugee camp. He shot the asari, and killed her. He brought you back to the hospital, and that was about twelve hours ago."

It took me a few seconds to process that. Thane... she meant Thane, right? It had to be him... my mind was fuzzy so I wasn't thinking clearly at the moment.

"How... how bad was I hurt?" My voice cracked. Part of me really didn't want to know, and I didn't even want to look. Not yet.

"I can't lie to you, Sarah: You were not a pretty sight when you were brought in, and we tried to do the best we could with what we had to work with. Jona Sederis did not show much mercy on you," Dr. Michel admitted, in her kind, sweet tone, yet almost very bluntly. Then again, she was a doctor; that was how she had to give her patients news, for the most part.

I sucked in a deep breath, and then I used my one and only arm to lift the bed linen. I saw that I had only one leg; my right leg was gone. History. The area where it had been attached was bandaged up.

I dropped the linen back in place, and I squeezed my eyes shut. "Why was I so stupid?" I cried out, my voice cracking with an anguished sob.

"Sarah," Dr. Michel said comfortingly, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Please. It was not your fault; if I were to be honest with you, I cannot condone what you did. You should not have left the hospital, but losing your leg like you did was not your fault. Many people would've done what you had done, and no one could have expected to find themselves in that sort of predicament with such a dangerous criminal."

I didn't answer. I simply stared up at the ceiling. Was all of this... really worth it? I had Reapers try to get into my head on Menae, I was threatened by Neyrata for my secrets, then I ended up in an avalanche where I lost my arm. After that, I did manage to save the Hanar, and I stopped Jona... but at what cost? I still no good at this, not as good as Shepard. And I never would be as good as her.

Not to mention the Illusive Man now wanted me. And he'd probably rip the information out of me, and either kill me or turn me into a husk or something.

And right now, I was in no condition to run or go anywhere. I was actually, finally stuck in one place. I'd need help just to go to the bathroom!

"Just leave me alone," I said in a dark, quiet tone, looking away from the doctor. I could feel myself slipping into depression.

"We have counselors and therapists on staff here. You have been through quite a traumatizing experience, from Meneae, then Cerberus, and now this. I know this isn't easy for you in the slightest, and I am dedicated to helping you through it. There _is_ light at the end of the tunnel," Dr. Michel encouraged soothingly.

I didn't look at her. I barely even listened to her. I wanted to scream, I wanted to run far away past the edges of the universe if it meant I could escape... or just go home. Since I couldn't do that, I just wanted to withdraw into myself and escape from this unpleasant reality.

It was all my fault, wasn't it? Somehow, this was all my fault... just let the darkness take me if I could find some solace there.

"You have to push through this. That woman could've killed you, and yet you are still alive. That is something to be grateful for," Dr. Michel said. Once I didn't respond, I could hear her start to walk away. "I see you need time to yourself. I will check on you shortly."

The door opened, and she was gone. Several minutes passed, and my mood didn't change. Soon, in the midst of all of my thoughts, I heard the door open again.

"Sarah," a deep, very familiar voice greeted. I hadn't heard that voice in person in...a long time. "It is unfortunate that we have to finally reunite under such unfortunate circumstances, but I must commend your continuous survival."

I squeezed my eyes shut and pulled the linens up over my face. "I may as well be the walking dead the way I look right now," I moaned. "Or lying dead. Or whatever."

"You are alive, however. Still here, among the living, and that is something to be thankful for after everything that you have endured," Thane told me. I didn't know where he was, but right now I didn't really care to know. All I knew was that he was in the room. "I...am sorry I was not able to come to your aid sooner. I was searching for you, and was very lucky to come upon you when I did."

I said nothing. I could feel my chest rising and falling, and for a moment I simply listened to the sound of air going in and out of my nostrils. I couldn't think of anything to say; I didn't even want to say anything. I just... wanted to sleep, or something. To escape into a dream that was not haunted by husks, Reapers, or modified spiders.

Maybe that was why some people went insane. Reality was too much to handle.

"Your condition makes your current mental state understandable. I was informed of what happened on Menae, both by the hospital staff and Commander Shepard. I also know about Cerberus. You have been through far more than you were put through during our journey together on the Normandy. However, you are still here for a reason. There is still much that you can offer to this entire galaxy, notably at a time like this. I encourage you not to give up," Thane said to me, in his typical, calm, philosophical manner. It seemed that my silence hadn't deterred him at all.

You ever have one of those moments where it felt like... you couldn't keep your thoughts still, as if they were a whirlwind inside of you? Where you felt everything all at once, and then it just left you feeling like a numb zombie inside? Where there were so many things you wanted to say, and you wanted to scream in terror and yell angrily and cry your eyes out... but couldn't find any words to say, and you just lay there in complete silence, staring at nothing, looking for some kind of light at the end of the tunnel... but it just isn't there?

I threw aside the linens for no particular reason. It was an impulsive act. They ended up on the floor beside my bed. Why not? I was a crippled person now who was missing two limbs. Might as well not hide it anymore, not even from myself.

"It will take time, but you will heal. There are...many times when life seems hopeless, and you are ready to let your life end, yet one surprising moment seems to show you that there is more to live for. If this can happen to me, then I am confident that it will happen to you," Thane told me. "Whether you choose to believe me or not, it is true."

I closed my eyes again. I gasped softly, feeling my lungs expand and deflate almost painfully; it was getting harder to breath, and it had nothing to do with my injuries. Apathy... just made everything hurt, and everything in you seem strained. "You still have both arms," I pointed out in a whisper. "And both legs."

"There is one thing that you have that I do not: Years. I am reaching the end of my life; you, despite your circumstances, are not," Thane pointed out.

I was silent for a few long minutes. I felt it would be so easy to just... find a way to go home and escape all this crap. Yet somehow, I kept surviving all kinds of things this time when a single spider took me down last night.

Still... I suppose he was right. At least I wouldn't die of a lung disease anytime soon. But that didn't mean I felt particularly blessed by that fact at the moment.

I also knew that a replacement arm was coming soon... and maybe they would pull for a leg, too. If that happened, I'd be able to get up and move around soon. I guess that made me feel a little better, but... it wasn't anywhere near enough to get me out of my black hole.

"Thane," I whispered, finally looking at him, "does your omni-tool... connect to the extra-net?"

He nodded. "Yes, it does," he answered.

I... loved music. Very dearly. There was no way to deny it. My CD player had been my prized possession aboard the Normandy, the last time I'd been there. "If you could... find 'I'll Follow You Into the Dark' and play it on your omni-tool and play it... that would be great," I whispered.

"I will do so. I hope it gives you some comfort," Thane said, beginning to fiddle with his omni-tool a bit. After a couple of minutes, some kind of selection appeared from his omni tool, and the song began to play. "It is an old one, but I was able to find it."

I stared upward as the song that Abby once introduced me to began to play. She once said to me that it was about friendship and whatnot, but... I always felt like it was about that and more.

"Love of mine, some day you will die,

But I'll be close behind.

I'll follow you into the dark,

No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white.

Just our hands clasped so tight,

Waiting for the hint of a spark.

"If Heaven and Hell decide that they both are satisfied

illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs,

if there's no one beside you when your soul embarks,

then I'll follow you into the dark.

"In Catholic school, as vicious as Roman rule,

I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black.

And I held my tongue as she told me

'Son, fear is the heart of love',

So I never went back.

"If Heaven and Hell decide that they both are satisfied

illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs,

if there's no one beside you when your soul embarks,

then I'll follow you into the dark.

"You and me have seen everything to see,

from Bangkok to Calgary,

and the soles of your shoes,

are all worn down.

"The time for sleep is now,

it's nothing to cry about',

cause we'll hold each other soon,

in the blackest of rooms,

"If Heaven and Hell decide that they both are satisfied

illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs,

if there's no one beside you when your soul embarks,

then I'll follow you into the dark.

Then I'll follow you into the dark.

Then I'll follow you into the dark."

The song trailed off. I suppose... I felt something stir inside of me, something that seemed to... improve my mood a little. "Thanks," I murmured quietly.

"You have been given a second chance at life...in fact, now, a third, considering that you were believed to have died on Menae. More people were affected by your death than you realize," Thane told me. "I'd advise you to not let this chance go to waste."

"I think... I just want to sleep." I looked at him. "Would you... stay with me until I do?" I asked.

"Certainly," Thane replied with a small smile. "It is good to see you again, Sarah."

"Yeah... you, too," I said dully. Then I closed my eyes, and tried to relax.

I did not fall asleep, but I did slip into a... relaxed state, I guess you could say. I did not move, my eyes did not open, and it just seemed like my body was relaxing while my mind was still active. Whatever you called that state of being, it seemed to make Thane believe I was truly sleeping, especially since I did not move or stir as I began to hear... whispers.

"Hey," a familiar voice said-Kasumi. "How's she doing?"

"Depressed, but that is not surprising; the events have been traumautizing. However, by the time she fell asleep, her mood was already improving. I am far from a psychiatrist, but I will continue to watch over her," Thane replied softly to Kasumi.

"She's really been through a lot this time," Kasumi replied softly, with a sigh. "She should never have left this room, and I don't know how she did it. But... she's suffered enough for it, I think."

"I agree that she should not have left, but I also agree that now is not the time to focus on that. Her recovery will not be a short one," Thane remarked, still very calm, yet he almost sounded slightly regretful. "Are you going to attempt to procure a prosthetic leg for her?"

"Already on it," Kasumi acknowledged. Then she sighed. "I just hope she doesn't plan to lose any more limbs anytime soon; it's difficult enough to nab these things the way things are going."

"I believe she will be very wary of any situations that could cause her a major injury," Thane re-assured Kasumi. "However, simply interrupting a conversation between an asari and a salarian is not a usual way that one ends up losing their leg."

"Well, she's always been... an odd duck, as much as I like her," Kasumi commented, still keeping her voice low. "And I think part of her knew what she was getting into, otherwise she wouldn't have gone there. But I don't think even she foresaw this outcome."

"The leader of the Eclipse was well known to be psychotic, and fairly unstable and unpredictable," Thane commented. "However, as I told Sarah, she is fortunate that she is still alive. I am inclined to believe, no matter how odd the circumstances, that she and her friends are meant to be here at this time."

"Well, I don't have the same religious beliefs that you do," Kasumi replied, "but I will say that if nothing else... she has been incredibly lucky. So have her friends."

"I only hope that she can be reunited with them once she has finished her recovery," Thane said. "Have you contacted Commander Shepard?"

"Yeah," Kasumi acknowledged. "But I haven't gotten any reply yet. She may be busy or out of touch... or maybe she's not using that email address anymore."

"I sent her a message recently, and later, I met her here, and she informed me that she had received it. I am sure she will get here when she can; she _is_ leading the galaxy in a war right now," Thane explained, though Kasumi likely knew all of this. "I wish I could join her on her journey again. There would be no greater honor, but it is not meant to be."

"You've done well for yourself, Thane. And... I'm not sure if it's intuition or a guess, but I think your part in all of this is not done yet."

"Nor is yours," Thane added. "It is fitting that we are reunited; we left the Normandy at the same time, and now we find ourselves drawn back here at the same time. It is ironic how fate works, even to me."

"Yeah. Keep your chin up. One way or another, everything will work out..." Somehow I got the impression she was glancing at me. "I hope."

Another pause. "Anyway," Kasumi added, "I need to get going. Watch out for her, okay?"

"I will. I will ensure that she does not escape again, though I doubt that she has any desire to," Thane assured Kasumi. "Be careful, Kasumi."

And that was when I drifted off to sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

**(HK)**

We'd been on the shuttle for a while, and it had been nothing but tense. The ride had taken a little longer than I had expected. Joker had encountered a few more Cerberus fighters than what we saw in the game, and he'd been working a huge bag of tricks to evade them. So, therefore, that delayed our arrival at Grissom Academy.

While he was doing that, sitting with Shepard, James, and EDI had been...interesting. Shepard was the calming and controlling presence in all of this, as she usually was, but I still felt slightly alienated from her. James still wasn't happy about me being here, so yeah, we really didn't say anything to each other. EDI was the main one talking. She was noting things about her new body, how interested she was to test it out.

In fact, I don't believe I said one word. I just sat there silently. That wasn't unusual for me, especially not in uncomfortable situations like this.

I simply stared out the window on the wall, observing Grissom Academy in the distance. Soon, I'd be back in the action, fighting once again. Could I handle that? Could I take that all over again? I was stunned I did it once. Who said that I didn't get killed again, just like Sarah?

And Jack was there. _Jack._

Saying a silent prayer for everything to go well, I swallowed. I just had to have some faith.

"HK," EDI interrupted, suddenly. "I had a question about human behavior specifically for you."

I looked at her, a little taken aback. "Specifically for me?" I asked, glancing at Shepard. "Usually you'd ask Shepard about these things..."

"Did your magic tell you that, too?" James asked gruffly.

"James," Shepard said gently, but warningly.

"_Veeeery_ funny," I said, almost rolling my eyes. I liked James overall, but his attitude made me a little sad... and almost irritated. "Anyways, yes, EDI?"

"Well, you and Jack have been estranged from each other for quite some time, in human terms; from my research, a relationship that has no communication for six months generally means that it is not in good standings for humans," EDI said. "Considering the special circumstances that surround your re-appearance, I was wondering about your opinion on this matter."

I blinked. If only I knew. "Um...well...to be quite frank, I am probably as clueless as you," I told EDI. "I mean...Jack is unique, _I'm_ unique, it is a unique situation, and right now, we need to be focused on saving those students."

"My new body has begun to give me a vastly different... perspective on things," EDI explained, as I already knew. This seemed a little fast, though. "It is true that you and Jack do not have a stereotypical relationship, so any probabilities cannot be speculated upon. I do not have any predictions on how it will turn out due to the variety of information, so I was curious on the feelings of one of the humans involved."

"I don't even know if it can be called a relationship at this point," I muttered. "She thinks I'm dead."

"Whoa, whoa, wait, hold up here," James said, looking at EDI and I with peeked curiosity. "Who is this guy, and what does he have to do with any of this?"

"_Girl,_" I corrected. "She's going to be on Grissom Academy. She is a teacher there...she used to serve with the Commander, and myself, on the Normandy during our mission to stop the Collectors. She and I were...involved towards the end of all of that, sorta, I...guess."

"Their relationship did not blossom as normal human relationships do, according to my studies," EDI began. I cringed. "It defied all expectations set on relationships in popular culture. Jack often insisted that HK have sexual relations with her, and he continuously resisted. She kissed him several times, and was even nude once, and was met with stern resistance from HK."

"We really don't need to go into this right now..." I groaned.

James just stared for a moment. "..._ah_," he finally said.

"The Normandy has all Cerberus fighters safely away from Grissom Academy at the moment," EDI suddenly announced. "I suggest we dock now."

Shepard nodded. I had to notice that she didn't say anything during the conversation about Jack. Probably for the best. "Cortez, take us in," she said to our pilot.

"Yes, ma'am."

Minutes passed, and we were docked with Grissom Academy. Soon, the four of us were inside the academy, stepping in from the airlock. We all had our weapons in hand; I could feel my nerves creeping up. I was about to fight again. It... was not a pretty thought.

"Kahlee Sanders will be contacting us momentarily," EDI said, mainly to Shepard, as we began to walk.

Almost as if on cue, while we began through the halls, Kahlee's familiar voice came in.

"Commander, I'm locked in a server room around the corner," she told us. "Cerberus troops are trying to get in."

We approached the door into the next room, but Shepard stopped when we heard the Cerberus troops begin to talk. "Get ready! I've almost got the door," one warned, just as in the game. I almost forgot about that.

Shepard opened the door and we all charged in, firing relentlessly at the Cerberus troops. I fired a few times, and managed to hit a few soldiers; in a way, it seemed like it hadn't been long since I had done this...at the same time, I still felt so rusty and inexperienced. The others got into it fairly easily, though. EDI didn't waste any time, that was for sure.

We'd surprised them. I'd forgotten this - how _easy_ it was to seize the advantage and close in for the kill. Or maybe I'd pressed the memory down. The ease in which it resurfaced was disturbing.

It didn't take long to kill the few that were there. This was the first time that I had actually seen the troops face-to-face, or face-to-helmet, and it wasn't any more pleasant in reality. They still yelled annoyingly while we fought them and all that. I was probably being petty, as I really had tried to adapt an attitude lately of loving everybody, but Cerberus still got under my skin. That, and I knew that if they were allowed enough time to warn the rest of the troop, worse things would happen.

It was all over in an instant, and we slowly proceeded through the hall. Shepard glanced at the door ahead of us, but mainly looked at the one to our right. She approached it, and began to try to open it. "Sanders, we're clear," she said in her firm, tough, yet calm, voice. "It's Commander Shepard."

Shepard opened the door, and we all walked inside. Next thing I knew, Kahlee was pointing a gun at us: I tensed, even though that was supposed to happen. She paused, making sure it was us, and quickly lowered the weapon. Her short blonde hair was plastered with sweat haphazardly over her forehead; her face, which had seemed so generic during the game, shone with much more life and vitality than I'd pictured in my mind.

"Commander, thank you," she said earnestly. "Admiral Anderson always said you were the best, and with Cerberus coming for my students, I'll need it." Her eyes appraised the rest of us curiously, but it was clear that Commander Shepard was in charge. There was no room for introductions now, I knew. She looked exhausted.

"How many of you are there?" Shepard asked, glancing around the room, before looking back at Kahlee. It was very nice to be able to meet her in person; a blessing, almost, despite the circumstances. After reading a novel or two about her, I was glad when she was included in the game...but that probably shouldn't be something I should be focused on at the moment.

"Fewer than twenty," Kahlee answered, walking up to a console nearest to the window. "Most were sent home when word of the Reaper invasion spread. But a few volunteered to stay..." She bit her lip.

While she spoke, Shepard motioned for us to go...and I assumed that meant all of us, from how she looked. She probably wanted us to keep watch outside, and that wasn't a bad idea. I followed the other two out, and we all stood near the door that led into the next hallway.

My nerves were still a mess, even if I covered it well...sort of.

"Uh, nice job out there, both of you," I said to both of them, trying to make some sort of conversation, and maybe trying to encourage James a little.

However, he didn't say anything.

"This body is performing considerably well," EDI agreed. "However, a further analysis of its capabilities cannot be made until my tests continue."

"It'll go fine," I assured her, although I wasn't sure if I could say the same for myself. It was kind of ironic...both of our bodies, EDI and my own, could get destroyed here, yet we really wouldn't die. I would go home, hopefully, and EDI would still be on the Normandy. Yet that didn't make me feel any better.

James nudged one of the bodies with his shoe. The rounds had gone clean through the armored man's shields to rip a devastating hole through the layers of protective gear. "Yellow wasn't his color, eh, _compadre_?"

Silence continued while Shepard spoke to Kahlee. Oh yes, this would be an... interesting first mission for me.

* * *

><p><strong>(Sarah)<strong>

So yeah, it... had been a very, very crazy day. I think my body was still in shock or something, because I was having trouble remembering everything.

I vaguely recalled Thane and Kasumi visiting me, and receiving checkups from one or two doctors, being questioned by Bailey yet again, and being told that Irren had regained consciousness.

Someone gave me some meds for depression and anxiety at one point; I can't remember if I actually freaked out and threatened self-harm or not... everything was a blur, plus I kept having strange dreams. Maybe they gave me the meds for the strange dreams and stress levels. I really was having emotional problems right now; there was no denying it.

And I just couldn't get... certain images, or voices, or faces out of my head...

I knew that Kasumi and Thane each visited me again after I took my meds, only briefly.

They seemed to know that I was out of it and that I needed my rest. I remembered that each of them told me something interesting, though...

Thane was the one who told me about that poor asari girl, the one who tried to shoot herself. He wasn't going to tell me anything at all, but I insisted on knowing. He instantly regretted telling me though, because I felt guilty afterwards. Seriously, how was I supposed to know that that poor girl was going to try and kill herself? Once I found out the reason for it, I realized that it was completely stupid to let her anywhere near a gun. I had never encountered her in Mass Effect 3 during any of my play-throughs, and I didn't know she suffered from post traumatic stress involving an incident with human husks. Honestly? I thought that she simply wanted the gun for comfort, or for piece of mind... like, how some people might cling to a teddy bear for comfort, (okay, that was a silly example) or maybe she just wanted to feel in control. She could have just wanted to guard her room for all I knew.

And yet, I'd let the crazy asari have a gun anyway.

Still... obviously I hadn't been thinking clearly in that case. Typical, right? _Sarah not thinking ahead_... and this time nearly letting an asari off herself, and of course losing my own leg. I think one of the nurses upped my depression medication after Thane left.

I felt a little better when Kasumi came to visit me. She sat down beside me for a few minutes-I couldn't see her, but I knew she was there-and she actually held my hand. In an apparent attempt to cheer me up, she told me that it was a very good thing that Jona Sederis was gone. She said that, apparently, Sayn and his goons had pretty much taken over that section of the refugee sector and threatened a lot of them to steer clear of them. That was why nobody bothered to step in and help; they were scared shitless that the same would happen to them that had happened to me.

I took in this news... neutrally. It didn't make my mood worse, but it didn't really cheer me up either. I was still missing a leg, after all. And well... I still couldn't get certain images out of my head.

When I stopped responding to Kasumi and started staring up at the ceiling, she seemed to take that as her cue to go. She gave my hand a little squeeze and slipped out the next time somebody entered my room. I think I might have dozed off for a short time after that.

Eventually I ended up in the same room with Irren, probably at my request. Or maybe he wanted to see me. Or maybe we both wanted to see each other. I couldn't remember. I couldn't even remember anything we'd said to each other; just that he seemed disturbed by my loss of limbs, and he said he was sorry. We held hands for a while, and I drifted off once or twice... and each time, I woke up screaming.

I tried to focus on Irren and his pain, just to give me something else to think about. He was recovering, but he wasn't in the greatest shape either. Though at least he had all of his limbs. I tried not to dwell on that fact.

Somehow though, eventually, I ended up watching a movie with Irren on a small viewer screen. I couldn't remember who brought it. But apparently somebody knew that I liked to watch movies when I felt depressed. Yeah, I remember watching Toy Story 3 with Kasumi, and then Bruno with Garrus... yeah, Kasumi probably brought the movie. And now I could watch it with Irren.

It was a movie called _Blasto 6: Partners in Crime_. I kind of drifted off once or twice, but I shook myself awake and paid closer attention when it began to get really interesting.

"Blasto!" an indignant, chubby volus snapped. He was standing in what appeared to be an office of some kind, with the tall, slender hanar towering over him on those long legs of his. "I told you to bring in those vorcha alive for questioning!"

Even though Blasto's face was as expressionless as any hanar, somehow he appeared mildly... aloof. "This one didn't have anything to ask them," he stated simply.

The volus official inhaled a deep, agitated breath through his respirator. "You blew a hole in Zakara Ward!"

"It was an aesthetically displeasing habitat anyway," Blasto said dismissively. "You may engage in courtship rituals with my gastro-dermal lining."

Abby would have loved that line.

Another angry breath was sucked in through the volus' respirator. "You don't get it, Kahje-clan!" he snapped. Another breath. "Ever since they found eezo on the vorcha homeworld," another breath, "the Council has been trying to make nice." Inhale. "Bottom line," another inhale, "you can't touch vorcha." Deep breath. "They've got diplomatic immunity."

Blasto seemed to consider that for a moment. "Then," he finally said, "this one will not attempt diplomacy."

This time the volus seemed slightly calmer when he took in a breath. At least, he was breathing more normally now. "You're also getting a new partner," he stated. Again, his voice was calmer.

If a hanar could tilt its head-or body, or whatever-to one side in a confused or cocky way, Blasto did so now. "Are you engaging in reproductive behavior with this one?" he asked.

Again, Abby would have giggled. I hadn't seen her in a long time, but I could hear her laugh in my head.

The volus official ignored that comment. "Unless you want your Spectre status revoked," he warned, "you're working in a joint operation with Bubin from C-sec."

"An elcor?" Blasto sounded surprised. "You know this one works alone," he added.

"Look," the volus said, what little patience he'd had wearing thin now, "I've had to talk them down from suspending you. I've gotten a pulmonary ulcer from dealing with this mess! I can't even eat solid food."

"You would benefit from shedding excess body mass, Chief," Blasto opined. Apparently this hanar enjoyed getting a verbal barb in whenever he could.

* * *

><p><strong>(HK)<strong>

A little bit of time had passed, and we were heading for Orion Hall, as usual. We had just rescued Riley, the kid with the biotic barrier around him that the Cerberus troops were trying to capture, and now we were in the midst of another fight in one of the more office-like rooms. Earlier, I had watched a kid get dragged away by Cerberus troops...a sight not unfamiliar to me, but it was even creepier in person. It made me feel so horrible for these kids, and we could hear Cerberus talking over the loud speaker. It wasn't pleasant.

What was even weirder was to remember that these were kids my age. Sometimes, I thought of them like they were younger, but they were teenagers, just like me, and they were in this situation. It didn't really help things set in easier on me.

I was taking cover behind a desk and bullets were flying all around me. This had brought back a lot of nervous memories of me in battle before; I was handling myself well enough, and it was mostly my other three companions firing, but I was trying to pitch in, too. It wasn't easy, but I had to at least try to do something.

Getting out of cover, I fired several times at a Cerberus soldier. Only two bullets seemed to actually hit him; it was thanks to an Overload from EDI that he died. I fired another few times at another soldier, managing to penetrate his armor.

_I can do this_, I told myself_. I can do this._

I felt like I didn't believe that.

Shepard took out the last soldier, and we all brushed ourselves on, while we moved into the next room. I walked beside Shepard, still concerned about my fighting, or lack thereof.

"Commander," I said softly. "I...don't know if I can do this."

She didn't look at me. "Do what?"

"This. Fighting and killing again...I mean, it's been so long since I've done it, I was never properly trained for this..." I stuttered. I wasn't sure why I was so freaked out about it again, after doing it before, but maybe it was because it had been a while and this war was more brutal, in a way.

She glanced at me. "If you can't handle it, then get back to the shuttle," she said simply. "...but you wanted to be here. I'm taking a leap of faith here - and not because I want you dead."

Obviously, this was no time for a pep talk. "Yes, Commander, you're right. I apologize," I told her.

"And if you don't man up, you'll die," Shepard stated. I simply nodded; it was time to leave this be for now, and just do my best and pray that that was enough. I could do this...I've done it before.

"There's a girl around the corner that needs our help; that boy's, Riley, sister. She'll die quickly otherwise," I said. That was a detail that we hadn't mentioned to EDI, simply because we just gave her a large over view. "Let's get to her."

Shepard nodded, and the four of us headed to rescue her.

* * *

><p><strong>(Sarah)<strong>

The movie continued.

"Greetings, Bubin. This one understands that you are the second-best law enforcement agent on the Citadel," Blasto was saying, as he introduced himself to his new elcor partner.

"Badassfully: Funny, I heard the same thing about you," I heard the elcor's deep, monotone voice say. Little did I know that I was about to hear the term "Badassfully" so many times that it would end up stuck in my head for the rest of the night. Seriously... the way he said it, it was almost hypnotic.

"Just avoid interfering with this one's projected maneuvering path," Blasto stated, aloof.

"Badassfully: Hold it, Spectre," the elcor droned, "we do this by the book."

"You may carry the book," Blasto said, "while this one opens another excretion vent on the vorcha ambassor."

"Badassfully: Damnit, you bit stupid jellyfish."

I burst into a fit of giggles. Either it was the meds, or that just tickled my funny bone. Maybe it was the monotone. I thought I heard Irren chuckle a bit, too. For the most part, both of us were being very quiet and watching the show.

"...I'm just three solar days from retirement," Bubin the elcor finished, stating those words with great care as if they were significant. Perhaps they were important to the elcor himself.

"Obtain a firm grip on your reproductive anatomy," whatever Blasto said was drowned out by the sound of a revving engine. Apparently this hanar like to make dirty jokes in his own delicate fashion. "The vorcha ambassador's vehicle just turned down that skyway."

"Badassfully: What the hell are you doing? This is my mate's car. We just paid it off."

"Hopefully you are insured," was all that Blasto said.

Thus a fast-paced chase-scene ensued, with some impressive trying and stung maneuvers around swift-moving vehicles and a couple of trucks. Blasto ended up stopping the vorcha's vehicle by matter-of-factly crashing into it and pinning the front of it against a building, much to Bubin's displeasure.

Once they'd come to a complete stop, and the smoke had died down, Blasto opened up the vehicle door and exited. Bubin made a mournful noise as he examined the car, but Blasto ignored him. The hanar had business to attend to; the vorcha they had just pinned.

The vorcha stepped out of his own crashed vehicle, but halted at the sight of the hanar pointing a weapon directly between his eyes. "Greetings, vorcha citizen. Please explain the reason for your haste," the Spectre stated.

"Raaaah! You no touch me!" the vorcha exclaimed. "Diplomatic immunity-ACH!" He was cut off when Blasto wrapped two tentacles around his upper body and slammed his head against Bubin's broken car.

"Please exercise caution, criminal scum," Blasto said when he stopped, "your face may cause damage to my partner's vehicle."

"Badassfully: Hey, you're hurting him," Bubin stated emotionlessly, yet his concern was conveyed all the same.

"His unique genetic structure will enable him to regenerate," Blasto pointed out calmly, never taking his eyes-or whatever-off of his captive. "Unless this one uses fire."

The vorcha's mouth opened wide, spitting salavia between his pointed, needle-like teeth. "RAAAAH! No talk! NO TALK!"

"This one has forgotten whether or not its pistol is currently equipped with incendiary ammunition," Blasto said. The weapon cocked. "Does the criminal scum consider itself fortunate?"

"Badassfully: You'd better talk. I can't... hold him back."

The vorcha panicked. "Consort!" he cried out. "Guarding boss at Consort!"

Blasto was satisfied. "Have a pleasant day," he said, and then he slammed the vorcha's head firmly against the side of the vehicle, and allowed the poor creature to fall to the ground in a heap.

"Badassfully: Damnit, what the hell was that?" The way the elcor said emotional things in an emotionless tone kept making me crack up; I had to press a hand over my mouth to suppress my giggles. "You're out of control."

"You may wish to monitor your stress levels," Blasto stated, making the scene seem even more funny. Who would have imagined that the elcor was stressed, considering his monotone voice? "High blood pressure is unhealthy for a species that is adapted to a high-gravity environment."

"Badassfully: Come on. I know someone at the consort's office."

"This one suspected you had deviant mating fetishes."

"Badassfully: You're paying for the car."

* * *

><p><strong>(HK)<strong>

After helping the girl, Serene, we continued towards Orion Hall. I knew that Jack wasn't far; we'd be coming upon her any minute. I gulped, my nerves rising again. I wasn't sure what made me more nervous: Jack or the possibility of dying in a firefight. I was about to confront something that I never thought I would end up confronting again. It wasn't Jack personally, I really liked her, it was just...the situation.

We'd just blown up a generator that had given Kahlee access to the loud speaker again, and we could hear her voice as we walked through the next hallway. "Students, if you can hear me, this is Kahlee Sanders," she announced. "I am still alive, and help is on the way."

"Jack is in the next room," EDI chimed in as we approached the door. James was still mostly silent, probably because I was here.

Shepard didn't say anything, either, and once again, I simply swallowed hard. Shepard opened the door to the next room, and we walked in to see a large fight going on in there. It didn't take long to see the new and improved Jack fighting off Cerberus soldiers, with a few of her students behind her.

_Here we go._

Jack was literally glowing, as brightly as I'd ever seen her. "Eat this!" she challenged, slamming two Cerberus soldiers with her biotics. They were sent flying, and they went down. Her back was turned toward us; she didn't see me yet.

"Jack!" Shepard called out, getting the woman's attention. Jack turned to look toward us, as did her students.

"Shepard!" Jack exclaimed, looking with surprise. Her eyes glanced at the four of us-and then she zeroed in on me. Her eyelids flickered and her mouth dropped open, but she quickly regained her composure.

"What the f-frack, that looks just like HK!" she exclaimed, pointing at me as I stood there behind Shepard.

"I don't have time to explain right now, Jack," Shepard said. "But it is HK; he's alive."

Jack stared at me, her expression completely blank and disbelieving, as her two students looked around. They seemed confused. "Kids, get upstairs," Jack ordered them. Once they complied, Jack looked as us again and seemed to include both myself and Shepard in a sweep of her gaze.

"What the fuck is going on here? What is this goddamned bullshit?" Somehow she seemed to express all of her anger, frustration, confusion and grief into those two short sentences. Apparently, that was why she wanted the kids to go upstairs; she couldn't contain herself and her foul mouth.

And she seemed like she had more to say on the matter, but a loud noise distracted all of us. An enormous mech was coming in through the door. Jack scowled and darted into action, diving into cover and sending a blast of biotics toward it. It didn't even hesitate.

"Kids," Jack yelled, already starting to retreat up the stairs, "this one is way out of your league! Stay back and let Shepard handle this!" I swear I saw her shoot one last look in my direction before she ran up the stairs to be with her students. That was definitely where her priorities were right now, plus... she probably needed time to accept that I was really back.

She had definitely moved on. I didn't have time to think about that though; the fighting had begun once again.

* * *

><p><strong>(Sarah)<strong>

For the first time ever, I got see a female elcor. She was a bit smaller and had a more lithe form compared to the larger, more muscular Bubin. Her face didn't look much different from that of a male elcor, but she definitely had a more... feminine look about her body, and she was a lighter shade of gray. The biggest difference of all, of course, was her voice as she spoke to Bubin and Blasto; it was as deep as a krogan female's, and while it held the same monotone voice as a male elcor's, it was most definitely feminine.

"Coquettishly: Welcome to the Consort's suites," she greeted them. "Oh, Bubin. It's great to see you."

Somehow she sounded even more like a robot than the male elcors did... heck, she sounded more like a robot or a computer than even EDI did.

Somehow, Blasto's voice became slightly... warmer, as he spoke to her. "As a Prothean descended from Heaven, because this one would enjoy Enkindling that."

Now Bubin spoke up. "Badassfully: Hey, man, that's my sister!"

"Your progenitor's genetic capacity for attractiveness was passed only to her," Blasto said. Obviously, he was as fond of using big words as he was of getting his partner's goat.

"Coquettishly: Who is the big, handsome jellyfish, Bubin?" Obviously, the hanar was also quite the ladies man... ladies squid... ladies fish? I don't know; alien girls apparently liked him.

"Blasto," he introduced himself. "This one is training Bubin in proper legal procedure."

Once again, Bubin spoke up. "Badassfully: Listen, Honey," he said to his sister in what seemed like a condescending manner, "we need to get inside."

"Coquettishly: You're a pain, Bubin," his sister opined. "But I can't resist your good-looking partner."

"Thank you, Polyp," Blasto told her graciously. "This one will attempt to determine a way to repay you."

"Badassfully: Seriously, don't be like that with my sister."

* * *

><p><strong>(HK)<strong>

The fight was what seemed like a long and brutal one. I held up well enough, although my armor did take a few bullets, but it was definitely one battle that made me wake up and try to get back into the game...so to speak. There was so much going on; Jack was here, this was my first time fighting again, but I had to put all of that aside and focus on defeating the Cerberus forces.

Soon, Shepard had managed to take out the mech, and then we finished off the remaining soldiers. There was simply one Centurion left; I was giving cover fire, and EDI had used Overload to take out his shields, and James then used Carnage to finish him off. Shepard had just finished taking out the others.

Taking a deep breath, I was a little relieved. Still alive...but maybe not for long, depending on what Jack thought of all of this.

We all approached the area where, above us, Jack and her students were. I hesitantly waited to see what she'd say and do.

Jack and her students stopped glowing, letting down their protective biotic barriers. Jack then leaned over the edge of the platform, her eyes narrowing into slits. Obviously, this was already going to be different from it was in the game, just because I was here.

"Kahlee said she sent out an SOS," Jack said, staring down at us. "I didn't know that the queen of the girlscouts would show up..." Her eyes zeroed in on me, found mine, and somehow managed to lock onto them like the aiming scope of an assault rifle. I flinched involuntarily.

Jack sharply turned away from us, facing her students. "All right!" she barked at her students, more firmly than I'd ever heard her speak to them in the game-apparently she was angry. "Amp check! Prangley, those fields were weak!" She got right into the kid's face and glared at him. "You think Cerberus is going to stand by nicely while we pick them off one by one? Keep your shit together! Everyone, grab a juice and an energy bar-we move in five!"

The students seemed stunned, taken aback by their teacher's sudden harshness. It wasn't so much what she said, it was the tone she said it in. And it wasn't like Jack was ever gentle with them, not from what I saw in the game at least, but it seemed like she was unleashing her temper on them.

"Whoa," I thought I heard one of them say as Jack sharply turned away from them and practically threw herself off of the upper level, her landing softened only by her biotics.

She stalked toward us like an angry panther. Shepard met her part-way, but Jack shook her head. "I'll deal with you in a sec, Commander," Jack hissed, and brushed past her with a light shove to Shepard's arm. I tensed as she headed straight for me.

"Jack," I heard Shepard's voice say in a light warning tone.

Jack was now merely a couple of feet away from me, scowling into my face. She seemed to look me over up and down, as if trying to make certain it was really me. Time almost seemed to slow down for a few seconds, and I could hear some of the students making puzzled comments above:

"What's the matter with her? Why's she so mad?"

"I don't know, I thought everybody respected Commander Shepard."

"No, she seems to be mad at that guy."

"Could it be the guy she told us about?"

"No way man, he's dead."

"You sure?"

"Whoever he is, he _really_ pissed her off."

I tried not to flinch, as fast as my heart was beating right now. Oh boy...and I thought fighting Cerberus troops was bad. I listened to their comments while staring at Jack; she told them about me? I would've felt touched if I wasn't so nervous and scared.

No, I needed to be strong. It was time to man up and face this head on.

"Hi, Jack," I said with a small smile, trying to be as gentle as possible.

Her face appeared to be carved out of stone. "It's really you, isn't it?" she said, her voice cracking a little with emotion. "How're you here? I held you while..." She trailed off.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Shepard checking her rifle and inserting a new thermal clip; she seemed to be keeping herself occupied for the moment, while she, James and EDI kept an eye out. The Commander did look a little impatient, but she was giving us our moment, so to speak.

In the meantime, the students above us were becoming more animated. They were whispering amongst themselves now, and it seemed like they were putting something together... some kind of betting pool? Whatever was going on, Jack completely ignored them. Her eyes were on me.

I decided it was probably best to ignore them, as well, at least for now. They'd probably be _oohing_ and _ahhing_ even more later, depending on what Jack did to me. I took a deep breath; I had to just be as honest as I could, just like I was with everyone on the Normandy. "To be quite frank, Jack, I don't know how all of this happened," I said. "I mean...I thought I died. I thought my life here was over...then suddenly, as this war came about, I was back on the Citadel. I ran into Shepard there, and she was shocked, too, but she let me rejoin the Normandy...Abby is alive, and Sarah was. None of us know how to explain it...I'm sorry I don't have anything better than that, and I'm sorry that this is all happening now."

I was explaining it fairly quickly, probably half due to my nerves, but it was the truth. I didn't know what more to say, not really, about our unexpected return.

"So," she said darkly, "you're telling me that you just happened to show up somewhere on the Citadel? Just like that?"

"His body did disappear from the Normandy," EDI chimed in. "I have no explanation for the matter."

Jack's eyes darted briefly in the AI's direction, and then back to my face. "I don't exactly have time to play twenty questions or figure all of this out right now," she said. "I just... have to accept that you're back, apparently." Something in her face changed. "I had moved on, but..."

She took a couple of steps back from me. The students were watching closely now, in anticipation. Jack seemed conflicted by her emotions, almost as if even she wasn't sure how she wanted to react.

To my complete surprise, (and, if the exclamations above us were any indication, to the surprise of the students as well) Jack did nothing to me. She said nothing to me. She didn't even look at me again; she simply turned away.

Then I realized that apparently, she decided to take all of her frustrations and whatever else she was feeling out on another target. She practically stomped toward the Commander, and punched her squarely in the cheek bone with enough force to stagger her balance.

"_THAT_ was for trusting Cerberus, _and_ for reopening a closed wound and dumping this crap on my lap without warning!" Jack hissed at Shepard.

Above us, the students stared in stunned silence for a moment. Then they seemed to cancel their little betting pool; whatever they thought Jack might do to me during our reunion, she apparently did it to Shepard instead, something that none of them had anticipated.

Shepard straightened and rubbed the sore spot on her cheek briefly; apparently she had been taken off-guard by that. She then looked at Jack, and the anger and disapproval were evident on her expression. For a moment I saw her fingers tighten and I tensed-was she going to hit Jack back?

Instead, the Commander simply spoke with a firm tone. "Jack," she said, "I didn't exactly have a chance to call you and tell you that I had HK with me. As for Cerberus; you aren't telling me anything I didn't tell myself already."

All of us watched as Jack confronted Shepard. I stood there, not really sure what to say. EDI and James were also watching, seemingly interested. James looked at me, and actually spoke to me in something other than an accusing tone. "How did you manage to bag that?" he asked.

"Um," I replied, not really ready for that question. "Long story. We're...unique people."

James crossed his arms, looking at her. "I don't know," he remarked. "I kinda like her."

"Much to my surprise, so do I," I said with a sigh. This was a very... deep moment for both Jack and myself.

"Jack's personality appears largely unchanged," EDI commented, looking towards both Shepard and Jack as she also crossed her arms. She was already adapting a few human mannerisms, I couldn't help but notice in the midst of all of this.

"I see you got a new body, EDI," Jack retorted. "Now you look like a sex-bot instead of a sex toy."

She shot another glance in my direction, and then she returned to business. "Alright," she said, "right now, all I care about is getting my guys out of here."

"Your guys?" Shepard raised an eyebrow slightly.

Some of Jack's aggravation over the entire situation seemed to melt away as she glanced... affectionately up toward her students. "Yeah, I guess so," she said in a thoughtful voice.

"I can't think of anyone who could care more about them," Shepard commented.

"Yeah, well, I had some free time while you were off playing hero," Jack said. And then some of the anger returned. "And picking up HK from whatever the f... from where-ever you got him from."

Shepard nodded. "You've done well here, Jack. And the students seem to respond to you."

"They like my teaching style," Jack boasted with affection.

"The psychotic biotic!" Prangley called out.

"I will destroy you!" Rodriguez enthused, clenching her fist.

"Drink your juice, Rodriguez," Jack called out to them. "You couldn't destroy wet tissue paper." She sounded almost playful now, as if this was a verbal exchange that they had often. Some of the students exchanged smiles, apparently pleased that they had their teacher back instead of the angry woman who was yelling at them before. They were used to Jack being firm, even snarky, but not flipping out at them.

Shepard touched her radio, listening to something. She exchanged a few words with Cortez, and then she called Sanders. "The students are safe, but the shuttle is a no-go," she said. And I knew that meant we were stranded her for the moment. She listened again, as Jack looked at her expectantly.

Shepard, in turn, shot a glance at me and at EDI expectantly. "We need to get Sanders access to the station cameras," she said.

"Right over there," I said, pointing to the corner that was to our left and facing opposite of us. "The Cerberus laptop is right there. Just take care of that and then Kahlee will have the cameras."

"Then, Cerberus will have the doors sealed. We will have to find the manual override in order to open it," EDI interjected. It almost felt awkward that she was saying these things now, too.

"That'll be up there, where the kids are. There's a console near the back of the room," I said, pointing upwards. We hadn't given EDI exact directions, so there were still a few things that we needed to chime in on. "But first, you have to take care of the cameras."

Shepard nodded. "Then let's move," she said.

* * *

><p><strong>(Sarah)<strong>

"Greetings, vorcha scum," Blasto was telling his latest target-or whatever you wanted to call him. "This one mistook you for krogan defecation."

"RAH!" the vorcha growled indignantly. "You no talk! I got your BADGE!"

"Badassfully: That badge is the only thing keeping him from killing you right now."

"RAH! YOU BE SORRY!"

"This one is already sorry," Blasto commented once he had his badge back in place. "It will take hours to remove your olfactory residue from my oxygen diffusion membrane. Let us depart, Bubin."

The vorcha let out a shrill hiss, and then stormed off.

"Badassfully: what the hell did that accomplish?" Bubin wanted to know.

"Two things," Blasto answered, "First, the vorcha knows we are following it."

"Badassfully: And second?"

"You have demonstrated that you still possess a supportive endoskeleton."

The scene continued as Blasto and Bubin parted ways, where Bubin agreed to keep a general eye on the vorcha, and Blasto said he had other things to tend to... though he didn't specify what.

What happened next was... both fascinating and disturbing. Blasto returned to the Consort Suites and effectively hooked up with the female elcor. Both of them ended up going to his apartment, where I got a graphic, visual example of how a hanar could... shall we say, pleasure all of the sensitive areas on an elcor's body at once, with all twelve tentacles.

I found myself looking at Irren as the intimate scene proceeded. Maybe it was the drugs I was on, or the simple fact that I was looking for any kind of diversion that I could get, but... I ended up saying something to Irren I never thought I'd say out loud.

"Wouldn't it be great if we tried that?" I asked almost playfully. And somehow... again, maybe it was the meds, I didn't even feel embarrassed. If it weren't for those drugs, I would have probably wanted to shoot myself-or I probably wouldn't have said that at all.

Irren actually laughed. "Not sure how well that would work, Sarah," he told me. "I mean...we're not elcor and hanar."

I began to giggle uncontrollably. Again, maybe it was the meds. "Well," I said, leaning over the side of my wheelchair as best I could toward his bed, where he sat propped up against some pillows, "we could always see how a human and a turian would do it instead."

...What the hell was I saying?

He didn't seem as insane or hyper as me, but he laughed again. Maybe the medicine was getting to him, too? "Sarah, neither of us are in the condition to do any of that," he told me.

"But maybe we could... stop the movie, and cuddle?" I tried to stand, and I actually half-rose from the wheelchair, but then I sat down hard again. I'd actually forgotten for a moment that I only had one leg.

Irren froze for a moment...though he really wasn't moving much any day in his condition. He was better off than me, but not by much. "Uh...are you sure that is the best idea?" he asked hesitantly.

Before I could say anything at all, Dr. Michel came into the room. "Excuse me," she said to both of us, "Sarah, I have just received two prosthetics for you, both an arm and a leg. We are preparing to operate right now."

I looked at Irren. "Sleep tight, man," was all I could think to say.

"You too. I really hope that the prosthetics go on okay," Irren said. "They'll really get you back on your feet. Well, literally, I suppose, too."

"Yup. Good night, Irren," was the last thing I said before Dr. Michel wheeled me out of the room.

* * *

><p><strong>(HK)<strong>

Shepard and her squad, including me, had gone over to the Cerberus laptop to try to give Kahlee control of the cameras. It took Shepard a few minutes, but with EDI's help, she managed to get Kahlee the control that she needed. After that, we prepared to head upstairs. Shepard and EDI were leading the way, with James and I right behind them. However, as we began to ascend the staircase, Shepard turned and looked at us.

"You two stay here and watch out for any reinforcements. EDI and I will take care of everything upstairs," she ordered.

The idea of being down here with Jack alone, except for James, kind of made me nervous. "I don't believe there will be any more-" I started, but Shepard simply cut me off with a look that said she didn't want any arguments. I imagined she still trusted our visions, but maybe she didn't want to drag all four of us up there...or maybe all of the incidents that we didn't expect had began to make her take more "just in case" measures, you never know.

"Don't worry, Commander, I've got it," James said. He looked at me as he turned away and gave me a slight motion to come on, though he wasn't being too friendly, still. I nodded at Shepard and turned and followed the Lieutenant.

For a minute or two, all was silent, but I couldn't help but see Jack simply standing over there, out of the corner of my eye. I felt really, really jerky for not saying something...I mean, I knew that in the game, Shepard could talk to her during this time.

I often did this: There was someone I kind of wanted to talk to but was too nervous to, even if they were just a friend or an acquaintance. It happened often at things like Church or even family events. Eventually, though, I decided to speak to them.

Despite it being Jack, this time ended up no different.

I walked over to her, and she seemed to give me a wary glance; I wasn't sure of her feelings on me at the moment. Her words upon seeing me left me feeling...not positive but not negative. I was a little less nervous, yet not, if that made sense.

"So, Jack," I said, upon clearing my throat. I was still very nervous, and it probably showed. "How're...you doing? How have things been for you here?"

"Look," she said, narrowing her eyes, "you can't just walk up to me after everything I went through and act like nothing happened. I..." She sighed, shaking her head and brushing a strand of hair out of her face. "Just leave me alone." With that she turned and began to march up the stairs, her heels clacking firmly against the steps as she walked.

I saw James looking in my direction from a few feet away. He eyed Jack, and then looked back at me. "Well," I thought I heard him mutter as he checked his rifle, "maybe this gives me a shot at the punk princess."

I gritted my teeth. "No it most certainly does not!" I exclaimed, a little more firmly than I would've preferred. I mean, I never said things like that...and I was not the jealous type at all, especially since it was only a joke. Yet strangely, I felt a tinge of jealousy when he said that.

Dang it, this was too complicated for me. Then again, wasn't everything?

Perhaps a little spurred on now, I decided to follow Jack up the stairs, though I was still somewhat calm. "Jack, I apologize...I know you want me to leave you alone, and I know we're in the middle of a situation, but I...I just don't know what else to say, that's all, and I feel I need to say something."

Jack sighed, but she kept her back to me as she reached the top of the stairs and walked into the midst of her students. "Help yourselves to another energy bar, everyone," she said to them, ignoring me. She was back to her usual self around them now, speaking to them in her military tone instead of her enraged tone. "You guys have burned up a lot of calories and I don't want anybody passing out due to low blood sugar."

Then I saw something I never expected to see; she actually turned a bit... motherly, almost. "Ensign Hannah, you've got juice and crumbs all over your mouth. Where do you think you are, Tuchanka?"

Hannah, a smaller, black-haired girl, looked sheepish. "Sorry, Ma'am," she said.

Jack then shrugged. "Just wipe it off with the bottom of your shirt; you can change later."

Okay, so maybe she wasn't acting like a perfect mother after all.

Shepard cast me a glance. "I thought I told you to stay downstairs with James," she said firmly. I wondered if she was going to slip into her own mother routine...though I hadn't seen a lot of that lately.

"I...got a little distracted, I'm sorry," I said with a sigh. I probably wasn't operating like a normal soldier would right now.

"Got it," Shepard said, though not to me as she fixed the console. She approached me, and I could barely hear Kahlee's voice over the comm. After Kahlee was done speaking, Shepard sighed. "I know it's not easy, but don't let it distract you. I need you to stay with her and the students and give us support from above. It'll be safer up there for you anyway."

Jack's eyes widened with something that seemed like outrage as her head snapped in our direction. "Shepard," she protested, "I don't want him around me right now."

"Jack," Shepard said, "I know that this is hard for you-a lot harder than it is for him. But I need both of you to stay focused. You'll survive an hour of awkwardness."

Jack's lips pursed, forming what almost looked like a pout. However, she quickly seemed to remember where she was, and she pulled herself back together. "Alright. Kids," she said, "finish your juice and get ready."

"HK," Shepard said, "stay focused. EDI, come on."

Just then, as they began to move, all of the students' omni tools lit up. This was happening a bit differently, but it was probably because we all spent more time up here. "_Students of Grissom Academy, the station is sealed,_" a man's voice, no doubt a Cerberus commander's, came through on everyone's omni tools. At least the students'. "_The Alliance soldiers cannot save you. All they can do is get you killed. Surrender peacefully, and you won't be harmed."_

Jack scoffed, looking half annoyed, and half like she didn't take it seriously. "Asshole," she remarked.

Suddenly, Jack and Shepard both put their hands to their ears, and Kahlee's voice came in over the omni tools. "_Damn it, they're messaging everyone. Students, switch your omni tools to privacy mode so they can't track you_."

As they began to do so, Rodriguez began to look uncertain. "What if...what if they're not lying?" she asked, mainly looking at her classmates. They also looked at each other, the negativity and insecurity spreading like wildfire.

"You've already held your own against Cerberus," Shepard interrupted almost instantly. She didn't seem to want any delays, and she was definitely leading all of us...probably even Jack to a lesser degree. "You've been trained for this by one of the best."

Jack pitched in, following along with Shepard's tactics...but in her own, Jack manner. "Come on, Rodriguez. They're only asking nicely 'cause you scared 'em in that last fight, so take your balls outta your purse and kick some ass!"

Rodriguez looked as if she did not want to argue with that...and neither did I. "Yes, ma'am," she said obediently.

Shepard turned and began to walk out of the room. "Let's go," she said, almost sounding slightly enthusiastic. I doubted it, but maybe she was a little more positive about how this would turn out.

I looked at Jack. I guess she was like my commander for the time being? "I'm ready when you are," I told her with a submissive nod, keeping my rifle in front of me. I still wasn't sure how I'd continue to handle myself in fights, and maybe that was why Shepard sent me off with them, but I was going to try my best. I just had to pray that it all worked out as it should, as hard as that was.

Jack only grunted in reply to me. She was still pretty much acting like I wasn't present. "Alright guys," she said, "snack time is over. Let's move out."


	12. Chapter 12

**(HK)**

The battle, so far, had been a long one; the Atrium was tough from what I remembered because Cerberus troops were everywhere. It was no different in reality. I'd stayed with the students and Jack on the second level, which had been a...different experience from being down on the first floor. Shepard, James, and EDI were in the thick of the action and holding up quite well, but even I could tell that they were getting worn down. Up here, things were a little easier, but still very rough. I was trying to hit as many Cerberus troops as I could from long-range, which I wasn't very good at, and the rest of the students were dishing out biotics as fast as they could.

The one time Cerberus troops tried launching a full-scale frontal assault on this particular group of biotics, Jack had taken care of them herself. Once they realized that the students didn't have any viable long-range attack weapons, they began to maximize their distance. The snipers in the area were the only things that kept us pinned down except for the occasional grenade.

Shepard was entering the other side of the Atrium, which meant that this was nearly over. That relieved me. This part of the mission was rough to see. The Atrium was beautiful, even from up here, but it had been ravaged by this attack. Cerberus bodies were everywhere now, as were explosive bits of turrets, generators, and shield pylons; parts of the room itself had been severely damaged or destroyed.

Now wasn't the time to focus on that, though.

More Cerberus soldiers were setting up turrets and firing at Shepard and the squad, who were fighting right back. James wasn't letting up, nor was EDI, even if this was her first time fighting; it was impressive how she had attuned to it so well, but she was an AI. Up here, we were doing our best to provide support. I managed to get one good shot in at an Engineer, damaging his shields a little bit before James took him down.

"Nice one, Prangley!" Jack shouted, as the Ensign managed to get a good biotic shot in at one of the soldiers on the ground. She still seemed to mostly ignore me, but if there was one thing I learned throughout Mass Effect, it was that battles and fights were not the time for personal dramas. Everything with her and I could wait until we returned to the Normandy.

_If _we returned to the Normandy.

No, I couldn't think like that. I had to have the faith that this would all turn out alright, and I had to put in my own effort to make sure we all got out of here alive.

The fighting continued for a few minutes, while all of us up here continued to to deal some damage, and Shepard did what she did best on the first level. She, James, and EDI were all really impressive as they tore through the Cerberus forces. Systematically, Cerberus forces were wiped out.

However, we hadn't been totally forgotten by the enemy, and I was reminded of that when a bullet hit a vulnerable Rodriguez in the shoulder. She gasped despite herself, earning an instant earful from Jack.

"This ain't dodgeball, Rodriguez! Keep your damn barriers up!" Jack shouted, before firing some of her own biotic power at a few soldiers. They were down for the count in less than a second.

She was still the toughest biotic I knew.

Nonetheless, it reminded me that Rodriguez was about to get hurt... and Jack wouldn't be happy. She survived, but she did get wounded in the game and had to stay down; I knew about that, so... since it was so small, shouldn't I prevent it?

Suddenly, I got a strange sense of déjà vu. Jack, me, along with the rest of a squad fighting a swarm of enemies, and me taking the shot for one of them...

No, this was not like that. Who said that I even had to get hit? I was also much better armored than Rodriguez, so either way, we'd both survive even if I did step in.

...right?

Rodriguez put her barriers back up for a moment, but quickly shut them down again to put more power into her shots; I knew what was about to happen. As uncertain as I was, I knew it was the right thing to do. Not that it was some big heroic move, but it would keep her from getting hurt, and keep her in the fight.

Seeing a turret turn its attention to her, I quickly dove to my left, where Rodriguez was positioned, to put myself between her and the turret. I fired rapidly at the turret, since it was a fairly easy target to hit; a few of my bullets penetrated it, but it wasted no time in returning the favor. A barrage of bullets hit my armor, and I could feel a few pierce them and hit my skin.

It wasn't anything compared to the Collector base...but it was still enough to throw me down. Grunting with pain, I fell to the floor while the battle continued on. The round had ripped through a chink in my shoulder armor - not fatal, but it _hurt_.

"HK!" Jack cried out. "Rodriguez, get that barrier back up!" Before I knew it, Jack was right beside me.

"F-forget it," Jack caught herself, once again remembering that she was amongst her students. "HK, I might be confused and pissed off at you right now, but don't do this to me again!" She maintained a general awareness of what was going on around us, occasionally barking out orders to her students as she applied medi-gel to my injury.

I grunted, trying to get up slightly. "It's not like last time," I assured her, secretly trying to believe that it wasn't. I just had to believe. "This is nothing compared to that. I mean, I'm hurt, but I'll be fine. Come on, we probably don't have time for this."

She gritted her teeth. "Just stay down," she hissed, and then she turned her full attention back to the battle. "You keep that barrier up!" she snapped. "Now you see what happens if you don't follow your training!"

"I'm sorry-" the girl began.

"Apologize to me again and I'll _throw you_ to them!" Jack told her, and then she released an angry wave of biotics to take out two Cerberus shoulders that were closing in on Shepard below. That action seemed to ease some of her aggravation.

I tried to watch the battle, but it probably wasn't the best idea, so most of the time I stayed down as Jack had ordered. I watched as Jack gave orders and I could hear the fighting continuing down below. It sounded so chaotic, just as it looked. In a way, I wondered if I made a mistake, but...I saved an innocent girl from being hurt. I doubted that was a mistake. I just prayed that I'd make it out of this.

I would. Something just told me that I would.

Not long after, everything quieted down, and we began to move. I tried to stand up, and I could hear Shepard's voice over the comm. "What the hell just happened up there?" Shepard barked.

"HK's been hit," Jack called out, and then she shot another glare at the brown-haired girl. "_Because Rodriguez didn't keep her barrier up!"_ she snapped, driving that point home one last time. The girl looked ashen.

"I'll be fine," I assured them all over the comm. I was having trouble moving my shoulder, but I could move. Therefore, I could get through this. I tried to keep up with everyone else. I looked at Rodriguez, deciding to take the brief moment of peace to re-assure her. "It's okay; it's not really your fault. I..knew it was going to happen, so I stepped in so that you wouldn't get wounded. Don't ask."

Before Shepard could react, Kahlee spoke up for the first time in a while. "Commander, I've reached the Cerberus shuttles without being detected," she said. I wasn't sure if we were supposed to hear this or not, but I assumed we were, even if she was mainly speaking to Shepard. "They know what we're doing, though. You need to hurry."

"We're on it. We're just exiting the Atrium," Shepard informed Kahlee, as we all continued to walk along. She sighed over the link - it sounded more like a frustrated exhalation than exhaustion. "HK - you _keep your head down_."

"I will, Commander," I said, although I hissed slightly due to the pain. This still hurt, no matter what, but I'd like to think I was taking it better than I would have during my last journey with the Normandy. I'd like to think that, at least. "It's... not bad."

"Where was he hit, Jack?"

"Left shoulder," she said. "It's medi-gelled. Chakwas needs to look at it. I assume you resurrected that old shrew as well?"

"She'll be happy to see you, too."

We all continued along, going through a few halls that, obviously, I was unfamiliar with as we made our way around the Academy. Thankfully, it seemed that we didn't run into any Cerberus troops up here. After a few minutes, I could hear Shepard's voice on the comm again...but she wasn't talking to us.

"...30.1," was the first thing that registered, and I realized what was happening.

"Hello, Commander Shepard," a more distant, yet recognizable voice, greeted.

David. So Shepard finally got around to Overlord, and she saved him... thank goodness.

"David, you know her?" another student asked. Another voice that I had trouble hearing.

"Yes," the young man, who had grown so much in his time here, replied. "She rescued me from Cerberus. Sent me here. She made it quiet."

"You did a great job keeping yourselves safe," Shepard kindly - I hadn't heard that tone of voice in a while. We were still walking, but I was paying more attention to this, just to see how it went, even if I had a general idea. "The biotic students are up there. Stay close; they'll get you out of here."

"Okay, uh, thanks," a female voice replied, and there was silence for a few seconds, while we continued walking, but I could hear chatter of Jack preparing for us to rendezvous with them on the way.

"He looks much healthier," EDI's noted, sounding satisfied.

"I remember you. The Normandy computer; hello, EDI," David greeted. A slight pause, then: "Sorry."

"No apology is necessary," EDI said. "Our time interacting on the Normandy was... enjoyable to me."

Catching up to Jack a bit, I decided to ask a question...she didn't want to talk, but I was curious. "I always wanted to know: How did they know each other?" I inquired.

She shrugged. "Eh, I didn't pay too much attention; I was...pre-occupied, but I think he took a liking to her because they were alike, or some sh-...some stuff like that. When we got here, he was afraid to get away from her," she replied. "Creepy, but hey. Glad we got him. I wouldn't be here."

I rose an eyebrow, genuinely surprised. I mean, I knew you dropped David off at Grissom Academy if you saved him in the game, but I hadn't heard anything like this. "Why not?"

Jack still looked like she wanted to flay me alive with her mind, but she seemed more relenting when we got on the subject of her kids. "While we were here, I decided to leave the ship and explore the place a bit. I gave one of the teachers some...advice on how to teach a class. They were clueless. Didn't push them hard enough like I do," Jack replied, almost a bit proudly. "I taught those students how to really advance, and they got it. Scared them with stories about my childhood. They realized how good they got it."

"I didn't know that," I said, slightly surprised. I didn't recall anything about that. Granted, little details like that were often ignored in games that had come to light here, as I very well learned, but this was still surprising.

"Well I guess you just don't know everything," Jack taunted. "Come on, we've gotta move."

We continued on, and soon enough, the two students and David joined us. It didn't take long before we were reaching the large room, whatever it was called, where the last big fight with the Cerberus troops was going to happen. It was almost over, we just had to hold on a little bit longer, and we could get out of here.

However, just as we were closing in on that area, Shepard's voice came through the comm again. "..okay, I'm patching you into everyone, Traynor. Tell us what you've got," Shepard said authoritatively.

Traynor?

"Commander, Cerberus made contact with the Illusive Man about ten minutes ago - I've just pinpointed the contact."

What was going on? This never happened...

Ten minutes ago was about the time we finished up in the Atrium, roughly, maybe a little bit after. My timing was probably off in the midst of all of this, as much as I usually enjoyed to keep track of time.

"The connection wasn't secure, I was able to get an ear in. They were concerned about you slaughtering their forces. They wanted to know if they needed to persist until most of the students were taken, or if he wanted them to retreat."

"And what'd he say?"

"That is the point I was getting to: The Illusive Man asked for details on where you were, and who was with you; once he discovered that both you and one of our... guests was with you, he said that the students were not as big of a factor as you, and ordered them to destroy Grissom Academy. The soldiers are already piling out; you need to get moving, now!"

"I'm at the shuttle, and it's almost ready to go. How close are all of you?" Kahlee's voice, sounding far more alarmed and alerted than it even was before, interjected.

"We're closing in on it now. Let's move, everyone!" Shepard shouted.

"Damn Cerberus!" Jack swore, using one of the more 'acceptable' cuss words around her students. "Everyone move, double time! And _you_," she said threateningly toward me, "stop wincing like a girl."

"I'll try to move faster," I said, wincing slightly at the pain as I began to speed up. I...hoped this wouldn't last long.

And just what was going on, anyway?

"HK, I do not recall you and Abby mentioning this to me in your recap of the mission," EDI commented over the comm.

"It... it didn't happen this way!" I stammered, continuing to try to speed up, no matter how much it hurt. "Originally, it was like we told you: We battle one last huge round of Cerberus troops, and then we'd make it to the shuttle." I decided not to mention the incident with Rodriguez, at the risk of destroying morale in a time like this.

"Specialist Traynor's description of the correspondence amongst Cerberus seemed to indicate that the presence of both Shepard and you was a factor in the Illusive Man's decision," EDI said, bringing up a point I hadn't considered too much.

"Well, he always knew that Shepard was here, and she's a bigger target than I am. No offense, Commander," I said, while continuing to speed up. This really was painful. The jostling hurt my arm. "How did he even know I was aliv-"

Our conversation was halted when the entire academy seemed to lurch, nearly throwing me to the ground. It almost sounded like an explosion of some kind, off in the distance; next thing I knew, the alarms were going off, and some kind of announcement or warning about the pressurization of the atmosphere...

Before I could really process that, we were all floating in the air, wind whistling past my hair. Why would it be windy in a place like this?

No. Not wind. _Oxygen_. The oxygen was escaping. Suddenly, I felt a lot more of a need to pray to God for survival.

None of this was supposed to happen.

"F-frag it!" I heard Jack exclaim, and I suddenly felt myself being yanked through something. It was an odd sensation, as if I was being pulled through something that was solid and liquid at the same time, as if my touching it made it soften into a bubble-like film, allowing me to pass through.

I gasped for air, suddenly able to breathe again. It took me a moment to realize that Jack had brought me into a large biotic bubble that she was generating herself-it kept a portion of the atmosphere inside of it, and would allow us to breathe for a time.

"Just hold onto my waist!" she snapped at me. "This is going to be tricky." She then glanced around, as if making a mental note of where her kids were and what they were doing. It seemed that all of them had formed an individual, biotic bubble around themselves as well. They were all just fine.

I grabbed onto Jack's waist, awe-struck at the fact that she had probably saved my life. "Where's Shepard?" I shouted over the chaos, looking around in pure shock. I did not recall this at all.

"We made it to the shuttles," Shepard answered over the comm. "Is everyone alright?"

"I...I think so," I replied. Looking around, I had never seen any biotic do anything like this before, not really; float in an open space vacuum inside of a bubble. I looked at Jack, still confused and dumbfounded.

Jack seemed to make sure I had a firm grim around her, and then she looked up toward her students. "Alright," she called out in an authoritive tone, "we've practiced this sort of thing in zero gee training before, in case there was an emergency. The emergency is NOW. Remember what I taught you; keep those barriers up, and focus on moving forward. Pretend like you're piloting a shuttle, only you are the pilot and the engine. We need to get to those shuttles-LET'S MOVE!"

With that, we all started to move. If the situation wasn't so dire, it might have almost been funny. Several of the biotic bubbles began to float forward at a steady pace, while a couple of others began to zig-zag between floor and ceiling. It seemed that Rodriguez was still having some difficulty. Still, a couple of others actually bumped into each other-merging the bubbles. The two of them seemed to combine their strength, propelling themselves forward.

The sight before me was almost beautiful in its own way; it seemed like an odd comment to make, even to myself, at a time like this. However, I couldn't help but notice that it was. The students were having some trouble, yes, but still, the way that we were moving in these biotic bubbles was almost like some kind of art form or something. It was an emergency situation, so there was no time to take in the view, but still.

Gradually, we all moved towards the shuttle that Kahlee and Shepard were in, which was ready to go. I saw the hatch open, and one by one, the students started "bouncing" or "floating" inside of it. I could tell that they were still keeping their bubbles surrounding them, at least until the hatch was closed. I saw Shepard directing them inside, her helmet on, with James and EDI behind her. Kahlee was probably sealed off in the cockpit.

Jack and I were the last ones inside. She made kind of a rough landing-though not too rough, just enough to jar my teeth a bit-and then she nodded toward Shepard. "That's everyone-close the damn hatch!" she snapped.

Shepard's hands flew across the terminal on the wall of the shuttle, allowing the door to close and seal. Jack then shut down her biotic energy, allowing the last of it to disapate in an almost audible poof.

"Is everyone alright?" she asked, her gaze sweeping across her kids.

They all acknowledged her, giving their affirmative.

Then she turned to look at Shepard. "Thanks," she told the Commander. Then she turned her full attention to me, grabbing me by the collar of my armor with both hands. "You..." she growled, practically baring her teeth at me.

Well, at least we were still alive. Er, everyone else was. "...yes?" I asked, my nerves welling up again.

"When we get back to the ship, you're going to pay for what you put me through," she vowed. "I can't do it in front of the kids."

There was a clamor of whispers and speculation from the kids as they watched and listened, their voices rising like a chorus. "Shut up," she snapped at them. "It's nothing to get worked up over-nothing you even need to concern yourselves with."

They quieted down.

"Anyway," Jack said, turning her full attention to me, "this is just for old time's sake." Then she kissed me, hard.

"Oooo!" Prangley practically gushed, as if watching a good holovid.

"I bet later, he's gonna ba-" one of the boys started, but one of the other girls clamped a hand over his mouth before he could complete the sentence.

My eyes went wide, but I didn't really resist as Jack kissed me. Well...maybe I had missed that in a couple of ways. I listened to the kids _ooh_ and _ahh_, but couldn't help but focus on the kiss as Jack kept her lips planted on me. Once she finally began to pull back, I sort of blinked. "Well then," I simply remarked.

She then shoved me into an empty seat, hard. "Now buckle up," she snipped.

I did so, and meanwhile, Shepard was activating her comm. She was all but ignoring the...well, whatever this was between Jack and myself. She was probably used to it by now. "Joker, we flew out on a Cerberus shuttle. Watch your fire."

"Right, I've got you on sensors. Should just be a minute," came Joker's response.

Kahlee came out of the cockpit at this point, looking at Shepard. "Thank you, Commander. We'd have never gotten off that station if you hadn't come," she said in a cool, gentle voice that held firm and stable despite all the chaos that we just endured, and her Academy being pretty much decimated. I had to wonder if Cerberus would finish the job on it, even though we escaped. They probably knew we were out of there.

"F-forget that. We kicked some ass," Jack interjected, deciding to say it in a way that wasn't so delicate. "Next place we dock, you're all getting inked. My treat. What do you guys want? Ascension Project logo? Glowing fist? Maybe a unicorn for Rodriguez?"

Despite the intense circumstances, there were a few chuckles. Everyone was calming down from the drama and starting to become proud about what they had accomplished. And to an extent, they deserved to, as long as it didn't go to their heads. Admittedly, it was nice to see Jack so...proud and loving towards her students, even in her own special way. She had a bond with them that she had with few people, not even me. It was a special bond, and it touched me more than I thought it would have.

"Screw you, ma'am!" Rodriguez shouted indignantly, yet also jokingly.

"I can't believe we got them out alive. I was going to suggest that they stick to support roles," Kahlee said, looking at the Commander. She seemed to not address the rest of us, though from everything I knew about Kahlee, I doubted that it was due to some kind of attitude. She paused for a moment. "...but perhaps they're ready, after all."

Both Jack and Kahlee, and everyone else, looked at Shepard for her input. I knew that was going to happen, but it was almost puzzling to me how everyone just looked at her, but then again, she had basically just gotten them out of this mess, and she was a natural-born leader. Of course, she was also the famous Commander Shepard, and Jack learned a lot from her.

Shepard seemed to think for a moment, looking like she was trying to choose what she would say carefully.

"The information I received from Abby and HK seemed to tell me that they would do well in either role," EDI interrupted, offering some advice to Shepard. "However, I do not have specifics."

I shook my head at Shepard, indicating that I didn't, either. She remained silent for several more seconds, until finally speaking up.

"They're definitely ready, but the Alliance needs them in a support role," Shepard announced, effectively making her decision. I had a feeling she made the right one, but for reasons I wasn't sure of.

"What?" Prangley asked, sounding almost shocked and nearly mortified. "We trained for artillery strikes!"

"We don't need another artillery unit. We need stronger barriers for our front line squads," Shepard said, with firmer conviction in her voice than she had a few seconds ago.

"This is bullshit!" Rodriguez protested. I tried to ignore it.

"Hey," Jack snapped, no doubt trying to keep her students in line. "If that's where they need us, that's where we'll go. Besides, I'm sure we'll get some shots in."

Later, I would remember that Jack wanted that. That she'd told Shepard exactly that. Shepard, being the Commander, could make these types of decisions.

Joker's voice interrupted the conversation. I supposed, if all went as it most likely should, that was settled now. "Commander, we've got a visual on you now. Preparing to dock. Hey, Jack, now that you're military, you gonna wear a uniform, or are you just getting the officer's bars tattooed on?"

A visibly irritated look crossed Jack's face. "Screw you, f..." she started. I tried to conceal a grin; this was always one of my favorite parts in the game, I had to admit. "...flight lieutenant."

Silence. Then:

"Uhh, what the hell was that?" Joker asked with confusion.

"Jack promised to watch her language in order to maintain the necessary professionalism we need from our teachers," Kahlee replied coolly, a small smirk on her worn face. She came off different in real life than she did in the books, but at the same time, I felt I saw more of her here than I did in the game.

There wasn't really any other way to say it. She felt like a kind, considerate soul - uniquely kind, in fact. But also capable, and strong. I had to wonder how well she and Jack really knew each other.

"What, does she have a swear jar or something?" Joker asked, obviously enjoying this. "'Cause I bet if we emptied that thing, we could afford another cruiser."

Just as Jack started to talk, he made another comment. "Oh, and by the way, made out with your zombie boyfriend yet? BRAAAAAAINS!"

I almost choked.

"Cover your ears, kids," Jack ordered sternly to all of her students. "Hey, Joker, f-"

I decided to cover my ears.

* * *

><p>All of us had just gotten back from the mission on Grissom Academy. Jack was with Kahlee Sanders and the entire group of students. I knew that I would need to talk to her sometime soon, but little did I know that she was going to come to me.<p>

"Alright you," I heard her gruff voice from right behind me, causing me to start. I had no idea she was there... or that close. She grabbed my arm and began to haul me down the corridor... toward the restrooms. "I need to talk to you, in private." She lead me into the men's restroom... perhaps for old times' sake?

"Yes, Jack, I agree that we need to talk," I said, hesitantly letting her pull me. Oh boy, me intimidated by Jack, just like old times indeed. "But are you sure now is really the best time...and in the men's restroom?"

Jack gave a little laugh as she locked the door. "As innocent and prude as ever," she said, almost dreamily. Her eyes looked at me fondly, and I realized that she really had missed me. But then her expression hardened and her tone became more serious. "I left my guys with Sanders," she said. "She's no biotic, but she knows how to keep them in line. She can handle things until I get back."

She then raised her hand and gave me a firm slap across the cheek. "THAT was for not telling me you were alive," she snapped, her voice cracking slightly with emotion. "I should have done that when I first saw you at the Academy. But I had my kids to worry about. But you..." She planted a firm finger on my chest. "You knew where I was, you know everything. You should have sent a message or come sooner. You should have at least told me you were fucking alive."

Her finger poked me harder, and then she pulled her hand back. That was definitely a sign that she had mellowed a bit. Instead of grabbing the front of my shirt or hitting me again, she'd resorted to chest-poking with her finger.

I took a deep breath. Oh, Jack, I knew this moment would come sooner or later; the moment where I'd have to face all of this. I'd been waiting for it, probably trying to evade it, but now it was time. She did deserve some sort of explanation. "Well, Jack, I have had a lot going on, too. I come back here, and Shepard was immediately suspicious of us...we rejoined the Normandy, and we've been trying to unite races to save the galaxy. I...I knew I'd see you soon enough. If I sent you some sort of message, who knows what would've happened?"

I sighed, rubbing my arm nervously. "You...have responsibilities now, and I am very proud of you for that. I thought of contacting you, yes; I needed help, to some extent, and I thought of you. But you had a job to do, and those students needed you to protect them when Cerberus arrived. If I had contacted you and asked to see you, then...that could've put everything in jeopardy. Our visions...vary, and in one of them, if you hadn't been there, Prangley would've died. I couldn't take you away from them, or even take your attention away from them, with what was coming."

She was still angry, I could tell. But something in her eyes softened as she considered my words. "Fuck it," she sighed. She didn't use that kind of language around her students, but apparently she felt free and able to do it in here around me.

Then again... the old Jack had been caught writing a few things on both bathroom walls during the mission against the Collectors. She hadn't realized that EDI could see everything that went on the restrooms as well.

"If any one of those kids died, I never would have forgiven myself... or you," she relented. She scratched the back of her head, running her fingers through her hair. It hung loosely on the back of her neck for once. "When you died, I knew I... lost something very special to me," she admitted. "My students became my family, and they seemed to make up for everything I lost. They gave me a purpose, and I began to feel like all of the shit I'd been through had been worth something."

She scowled at me. "And now, you're back..." Her voice cracked. "I got a couple of tattoos in special places because I'd lost you. Then I got a bunch of others removed." She sighed. "I just don't know about this. You're back, and I never even got over your death. Not really. And I can't tell yet if you being back is going to heal that hurt in me... or just make it worse."

I sighed. I knew that this was...very deep for Jack; it was deep for me, too, deeper than I'd like to admit. A lot of the time here, I'd spent focusing on the mission and various other things. Jack had crossed my mind, but at the same time, the whole thing had made me nervous, so I tried not to put too much emphasis on it. It was a sticky situation.

"I know. I understand; you do mean a lot to me, Jack. You went to such great efforts to rescue me after I was captured by the Collectors, and you were so upset over it...then I died in your arms...we've been through a lot together. I know that you are a wounded person, and my death didn't help any. I wish that I didn't complicate things even more, but...the fact is, I am back. However, how you want to handle that is up to you. I'm very sorry for what this is putting you through, though, and I am here if you need anything," I told her sincerely, trying to say as much as I could to try to help her. I truly did care about her.

"I have been giving this some... thought, since the shuttle ride," Jack said, backing away from me. "Whether it was your intention or not, you put me through hell you little bastard. I know it's not your fault, and I guess if I want to blame anyone... it has to be the Reapers, not you."

Her face softened into a smile, and I saw a warm glow in her eyes. "I should just be grateful that you're back," she said.

Then her face hardened-but not in an angry way. In more of a dark, mischievous way. "Tell me something," she said, placing her hands on her hips, "you haven't changed at all, right? You still don't want to fuck me or see me naked, is that right?"

"Yes, that's correct," I said with a small smile, feeling the mood lighten slightly. "And to be honest, I kind of like what working at Grissom Academy did to your mouth...well, when you're around your students, at least. I'm very proud of you for that."

She closed the distance between us and gave me a hearty pat on the shoulder blade. "Then sorry to do this to you, HK," she said as she turned away, "but after what you put me through... I need to have some satisfaction." She grabbed the toilet lid and put it down, then sat on top of it. "I'm going to make you squirm, just a little," she taunted. Somehow she managed to sound playful and antagonizing at the same time. That look on her face didn't help matters any.

She slipped out of her jacket and folded it neatly on her lap, and then set it aside on the floor.

"Well you still have a shirt on under that, my dear," I told her with a small smile. Oh boy, what had I gotten myself into?

Jack practically sneered at me. "Not for long." In a smooth motion she yanked it off and then allowed it to drop on top of her jacket. She then looked at me, allowing her bosom to swing free, and I could see one of the tattoos she'd mentioned. "HK" was on her left breast, in blood red ink.

My jaw dropped. "Good Heavens," I said out loud, breathless. "You got a tattoo of my name?"

"That's only one of them," Jack said, and she began to take off her boots. She quickly set her footwear aside to join her shirt and jacket.

I let myself laughed. "Okay, I do not approve of you getting naked right in front of me, but I must say...I do feel honored. Very. Thank you, Jack," I said sincerely. It did touch me in a way, that she'd go to all that trouble just for me.

"Oh but I'm not even done yet." She stood just long enough to slip out of her pants. She was now down to just her underpants.

My eyes went wide. "Okay, uh, Jack, I am very flattered and honored, like I said, but please, do not take your underwear off...I am very, very honored, extremely, but I would really prefer that you not..." I said, almost pleadingly. I had never seen Jack fully naked, and...well I didn't want to for a good long time.

She laughed almost cruelly as she stood and turned around so that her... behind was facing me. She then slipped out of her panties, and I could clearly see what she had been referring to.

A big black "H" was on her left buttock, and a big black "K" on her right.

"Oh...my goodness," I said breathless, though I was glad she at least turned around first. "So you let someone tattoo that on you while you were nearly, or entirely...never mind. Thank...you?"

Now she straightened and faced me fully, wearing a smug expression on her face. Without a word she closed the distance between us and grabbed me in a secure embrace, and I felt her lips lock with mine.

I was about to protest at this nude woman facing me, but then she kissed me, and I decided not to argue, for now. I gave into the kiss...I supposed that I had missed my kisses with Jack to some extent. Despite her very...extreme manner and the fact that I did not like her getting naked like this, she did kiss very well.

Finally, after it continued for a long moment, we pulled back slightly. I let myself smile. "I did miss kissing you, I'll give you that much," I said, trying direly not to look down. "Now...please put your clothes back on."

However, she wasn't done playing games. I still saw that mischievous look in her eye. "Not yet," she practically purred. "You have to do something for me first."

She stroked the front of my uniform with two fingers, and then dropped her hand. "Take your shirt off," she stated firmly. "I just want to see a little of what you've been keeping hidden from me."

"Jack..." I said uncomfortably. "Are you sure?"

"I'm not putting my clothes back on until you do," she stated firmly.

I sighed. "Alright, fine...many have seen me with my shirt off anyway..." I said. "Just please, don't ogle me too much."

Finally, I took my own shirt off-a bit awkwardly, thanks to the small wound in my shoulder-and let Jack look at it. I laughed afterwards. "See? Nothing special."

Her dark eyes seemed to follow the curves and angles of my upper body carefully. "Better get that shoulder looked at," she reminded me lightly. "Doesn't look bad, but trust me; you don't want to let that go untreated." Then, just as she raised a hand to touch my bare skin, something happened that made both of us turn toward the door.

James had walked into the restroom.

James threw his hands up in the air like he'd been blinded and staggered backwards. "Holy hell, can't you tape a sock to the door or something? I'll just go piss in a bottle or something - gah."

He left.

"Oh dear," I remarked, slightly embarrassed by the whole thing. I could feel myself blushing slightly. "Well, that's what we get for doing all of this here...I told you that wouldn't be the best idea."

Then, I actually snorted. "Don't feel bad, though; in my visions, he actually thought you were kind of hot."

Jack grunted and rolled her eyes. It was as if she'd heard that a million times. "A few years ago I might have gone for a body like that," she said. "But right now, I only have my eyes on one person." She gave me a peck on the cheek, and then she went to gather up her clothes.

"Aw, well, thank you," I said, actually touched by that. I smiled; I had missed Jack, more than I thought. "You are more flattering than I originally thought you were."

She finished dressing, and then she smiled at me. "I'd better get going," she said. "I need to see how my guys are doing. But hey, we'll talk again before I leave the ship." She gave my hand a squeeze, and then she was gone.

I smiled, almost dreamily, after she was gone. Oh, Jack...I had my things to say about her, my disagreements with her life, but...she was a good woman. She had a good heart, and she was making something of herself. I was very, very proud of her...and very proud to say that we were together...or whatever we were.

Picking up my shirt and putting it back on I winced a little; the wound on my shoulder wasn't too bad, but it still stung a little. I left the restroom, feeling oddly satisfied with how that went.

* * *

><p>"I think it's called Murphy's Law."<p>

"Well, Murphy is a jerk."

**-Sarah and Abby**

Amelia Shepard stripped out of her armor and then matter-of-factly handed it to Samantha Traynor to put away. The yeoman was, if anything, even more attentive than Kelly Chambers had been-at least in some ways. Although it turned out that the woman had an ulterior motive to being present in this case.

"Commander, have you got a minute?" Traynor asked as she gathered the piece of armor into a bundle.

"Yes, a moment," Shepard replied curtly. She had a million and one things on her mind, and what seemed like even more things to do.

"Some of the crew have been..." Traynor pursed her lips, as if trying to find a delicate way to put it. "They've been curious about your guests. I find it even more curious that EDI, Joker and Garrus seem familiar with them, and yet they aren't saying much of anything."

"I believe we have been over this, Miss Traynor," EDI's voice chimed in from above. She was always present, just like before. "The Commander has told you all of the relevant data on them."

"Yes, but... word is spreading that they're fortune-tellers, that they, uhm – okay, now I feel stupid. But that they know the future somehow?" Traynor pressed.

Shepard groaned inwardly. Of course she couldn't count on James to keep his mouth shut... he'd probably told someone already, and that person had spread it around. On a small ship like the Normandy, scuttlebutt could spread like wildfire. Or maybe that was James' intention; he wanted the psychics to spill. Perhaps this was a way of forcing the issue.

He wasn't all brawn - he was a crafty man, and knew how to milk a situation for what it was worth.

Then again... she'd already known that it would come out sooner or later. The old Cerberus crew had quickly grown accustomed to the three strangers, just as she had. And well... there wasn't as much at stake back then as there was now.

And of course there was the issue with Sarah being on the Citadel...

"Look," Shepard said, opting for a more diplomatic approach, "I understand that it's all kind of confusing right now. If you or anyone else have concerns about this, come see me in my quarters later, when I have time. But right now, I have other matters to attend to. Understood?"

Traynor looked a tad deflated, but she nodded. "Yes, ma'am."

"Carry on," Shepard told her with a little gesture. In other words, get back to your duties and let me get back to mine.

As the Commander approached the elevator, she reactivated her omni-tool, hooking it back up to the main system. Now that she was away from Grissom Academy and far away from Cerberus, she felt safer about accessing her private data.

She had two emails, one from Thane and one from Kasumi. Each one was an update on some things that had happened involving Sarah. Shepard got a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach as she opened them and read them.

She read the one from Thane first:

_Commander -_

She noted his use of 'Commander' rather than the usual si'ha. This was going to be a business email, then.

_I realize this is an encrypted channel, but I would not place my bets on its security. I realize you are aware of the situation on the Citadel. It has since changed. Jona Sederis is dead -_

She'd have to talk to HK and Abby - no, just EDI - about that.

_- but it would not have been so had one of the three angels not wandered off and coerced her. In the chaos, she has lost a leg and I was forced to shoot Sederis. She is being taken care of now. We are still watching her. We'll keep you updated. You may want to visit soon, before our friends come back to finish her off. _

_I believe my other half may be writing you a strongly-worded email at the moment. She said to put that in here._

_Thane_

Kasumi's email read:

_SO. I am NOT a babysitter. This is NOT my job. I have things I NEED TO BE DOING. But NO. Cerberus tried to off her, I stepped in, now C-Sec is here, then she gives this gun to a suicidal asari and runs off - not to the bathroom or anything, that'd be too nice. I was in the middle of a VERY IMPORTANT THING and I get a comm from our buddy saying he's tracking her to the REFUGEE CAMPS. THE REFUGEE CAMPS! And you know what she was doing in the refugee camps? Trying to convince Sayn to shoot Jona Sederis in the back. _

_Because THAT was a good idea._

_So, one leg amputation and save from the dashing hero later, she's back in her bed watching Blasto with her newest turian fetish. _

_I. AM NOT. A BABYSITTER._

_Sorry. I just needed to get that out. Again. _

_Look, short of putting her in a containment cell (which I might convince Bailey to do anyway) I don't know what to do with her. _

_I'm going crazy. I can't leave the hospital anymore because she might start another riot. Did I mention that one of the asari grabbed the dashing hero by the quad and claimed ownership? And he DIDN'T throw her off immediately? You have competition. Doesn't help that the chick apparently gives the most awesome orgasms you'll ever experience. Tough act to follow. At least you have a rocket launcher. _

_Just email me when you get this. Oh, and thanks for letting me know the other two are back, too. Really appreciate that..._

_-Anonymous_

_P.S. - I AM NOT A BABYSITTER._

Shepard felt her lips twitch in a smile. The situation itself wasn't funny, but Kasumi had an elegant way with words. But the fact remained: Shepard had to get to the Citadel soon. And thus the second part of her problem came into play.

She had EDI direct HK and Abby to her room and used that time to take a look at one of the rifles she'd picked up on Grissom Academy. Shepard was a vulture on the battlefield, and it normally paid off. She spent a few minutes looking it over, giving the two long enough to arrive at her room, and then set it aside in a footlocker to look at later. James was long gone and Steve was still on the shuttle, so there was little chance anybody would tamper with it until she came back down. The only other people on the Deck were three other crewmen monitoring their stations on the far end of the bay.

Abby and HK were sitting in the lounge when she arrived, breaking off whatever conversation they were having when she opened the door. They both looked worn, HK more so than Abby, and attentive.

Shepard took a seat, noting the conspicuous absence of Miranda for this conversation. "There's been a development on the Citadel. I need to let you know that Sarah survived the incident on Palaven's moon."

Predictably, the two straightened noticeably and glanced at each other, tangible excitement in their eyes. "She has?" Abby demanded.

HK seemed rather taken off guard, but cleared his throat and tried to say something. "That's great! But how do we know?" he questioned.

"She's in Huerta Memorial at the moment," Shepard said, watching their reactions carefully. "She's with Kasumi."

"Well, then," Abby said, shaking her head. "Cool. I think. But is she okay?"

"She's had some problems," Shepard said pointedly. "Thane and Kasumi are keeping an eye on her right now. You might want to thank them when you see them."

"_Thank_ them?" Abby asked with a sharp laugh. "Commander, we'll be lucky if they don't kill us out of shock."

"They're aware you're around," Shepard stated. "HK, how's the shoulder?"

"Um, it's fine. Or it will be," HK said. "I'm going to go see Doctor Chakwas when I leave."

"Do it. Also, there is something else that I need to discuss with you both," Shepard said, moving onto the topic that she had saved for last. Grissom Academy had gone remarkably well, better than it could've gone, and Shepard was happy as long as the students were alive. "I got the indication that the conclusion of our latest mission wasn't the one that you envisioned."

HK and Abby both looked at each other. Abby seemed to motion for HK to speak up, considering that he was the one actually present. "No, Commander, it wasn't," he began to explain. "In our visions, there was one last battle with a large amount of Cerberus forces, and then you and Jack had to rescue Rodriguez. Then, we left. This time, all of a sudden, Cerberus decided to destroy the station."

Shepard pondered the difference between those two situations, trying to deduce what changed. "I've learned to not use your visions as a crutch. That's a mistake I won't be making again," Shepard said, very forward. "However, I'm not discounting them, and I am curious."

Both slowly nodded. "We understand, Commander," Abby said.

"We don't have much time before we get to the Citadel. Both of you get some rest," Shepard ordered, motioning for them to go. They all needed some of that; the fight on Grissom Academy hadn't been easy. Five minutes later, Abby and HK had left, and Shepard was alone in her quarters again, reflecting on the previous mission.

Abby and HK's visions always had some merit to them. It would be stupid of her to consider them false. Comparing the two incidents, it all went back to Cerberus and their intentions. In the scenario that Abby and HK proposed, they still wanted to capture the students. In the scenario that actually took place, they seemed perfectly content with destroying the entire station and killing everyone on board. It sounded like something had changed rather quickly, due to the fact that Cerberus's desires had been more on par with what Abby and HK said up until that point.

Of course, Cerberus would never mind to see Shepard die. However, in the visions, apparently she wasn't enough? It had to be something, or someone, else...

That was when it hit Shepard, and Kasumi's email that she had read not even half an hour ago came back to her. Cerberus tried to kill Sarah at Huerta Memorial Hospital, which was a little bold, even for them. Then again, they had been growing bolder lately. Whatever the case, they also suddenly decided to destroy the station.

If Cerberus knew that the "psychics" were alive, then Shepard knew that the Illusive Man would either want them with him or dead. They could pose a big danger to anything Cerberus tried to do. Were they as big of a target as she was? She wasn't sure about that, but it was possible.

This was getting more complicated by the minute.

Deciding to let it go for now, Shepard sighed and rubbed her hands over her face. Now, it was time for her to get her own rest. She knew she'd need it for what was coming.


	13. Chapter 13

Deer Commandr Sheperd,

Thank you for saving my mom. We live on Feros. Mom sad your in prison. What did you do? Pls get out soon. Mom sais the Reeprs our coming. Can you come bac soon.

Love,

Maggie Buckingham

**A letter to Commander Shepard**

* * *

><p>Commander Amelia Shepard felt an intense throbbing behind her temple, and she knew full well what that meant; a migraine was coming on. She rubbed it wearily, attempting to massage the area with her fingertips and wished that she had taken an aspirin before leaving the ship.<p>

She'd had every intention of taking Abby and HK along for this. After all, they hadn't even seen their friend for a good period of time; though Shepard had no idea when they had been together last. Trying to contemplate how they could have come back to life and then been together for a while, and then become so scattered before she found each of them... that line of thinking was only making her headache worse.

Perhaps it was fortunate, then, that she was headed to the best hospital on the Citadel. While she was there, she could pick up a painkiller. She simply wanted to get Sarah discharged from the hospital and back to the Normandy, under Chakwas' care-and where she, and her people, could keep an eye on Normandy's troublemaker.

Of course, C-sec wasn't letting anybody near Sarah right now, and they weren't letting her out of her room, either. Not that she could go anywhere with a newly installed prosthetic arm and leg that she hadn't learned to use yet. So that basically meant that only authorized C-sec personnel, and high-ranking officials would be allowed anywhere near Sarah, considering everything that happened.

It seemed that someone, somewhere, was even thinking about pressing charges against Sarah for the chaos she'd caused. Shepard sighed warily, just wanting to use her Spectre status to get the woman out of here and back onto the ship. Shepard would also use her rank to dismiss the charges; the people on the Citadel shouldn't care anyway, especially since she was getting Sarah out of their hair.

Shepard normally didn't have to flash her rank to get what she wanted - people normally stood by and let her do whatever the hell she wanted. But Bailey ran a tight ship, and she respected that enough not to feel a twinge of annoyance at the extra precautions.

That didn't mean a certain thief would show the same respect, even if she could.

As Shepard walked down the wing (half of it closed off) and tried to not think about Kaidan three floors below, she felt a _presence_ sidle up next to her. She'd been waiting for it ever since she'd stepped foot on the elevator. "It's fifteen creds an hour for a babysitter, right?" she asked out of the corner of her mouth.

"I'll cut you," Kasumi promised.

"So," Shepard murmured, placing her hand over the lower half of her face to hide her lip-movement. The mannerism looked like someone lost in thought, as she meant it to be. If someone did see her mouth moving, hopefully they would think she was thinking out loud, or chatting on her commlink. "What kind of shape is our girl in?"

Amelia stopped at a terminal to order a small container of Tylenol. Once she inserted her credits, a small tube was released from a mechanical compartment, sort of like a high-tech gumball machine-just a lot more expensive, and with better security. She took out three and swallowed them whole as she listened to Kasumi's response-or rant, rather.

She was going to need them.

"Basically what I said in the email. I figured the drell would be so wrapped up in coding his messages that he wouldn't get the point across." Kasumi sounded ruffled. "But so far? Security's good, but Bailey won't keep it up for long. And there's sick and hurt people coming in every day - they can't afford to keep the ward closed down like it is. We're tying up resources. Honestly? She needs another hospital. Or take her with you on the Normandy and let Chakwas do the PT. But she shouldn't be here. Thane and I can't keep her safe all of the time, and eventually Bailey is going to crack down on her."

"I'm taking Sarah back to the Normandy," Shepard said, pretending to scan the terminal catalog for medical upgrades. She was mildly curious what it had to offer, although she was mostly trying to look busy while she talked to the invisible figure beside her. "I'll deal with anything that happens." She rubbed her temples again, wishing the painkillers would hurry up and kick in.

"Good," Kasumi said. "How long are you here?"

Shepard sighed. "I'm just here to get Sarah, and then I need to see if everyone is ready to meet at the summit yet. If they are, that's where I'm headed next." She didn't mention that she'd given some of her crew a little leeway while they were here, especially since politicians knew how to drag their discussions on and on.

So... that last things the Commander knew about were that James had gone down to the refugee area to check on his fellow turians, Joker had decided to drag EDI off of the ship (that was a concept she still needed to get used to) to let her "see the sights", and Jack had literally grabbed HK by his good arm to take him to the local club. Shepard really did not want to know what the lattermost two were doing right now.

And she figured that by Jack's side was probably the safest place for him at this point. She wasn't about to let him out of her sight again. Abby was still on the Normandy under the watchful eye of Garrus - she'd asked him earlier to keep her entertained. They were probably down in the shuttle bay practicing again. In fact, she'd bet money on it.

Bringing HK and Abby to meet Sarah may have sounded good at first, and she knew that they were dead set on seeing their friend again. But they hadn't uttered a word of complaint when she told them otherwise - which was one of a few things. She liked to think that it was just them following orders, understanding, being good boys and girls. They knew how it was. But there was something eating the both of them, and she wanted to know what.

That, and there was no way in hell she was letting the three be in the same room while she (politely) interrogated Sarah.

"Kaidan is doing well," Kasumi said.

"Good."

"But you... _probably_ knew that one."

"Thank you for keeping an eye on him," she said, keeping her tone neutral. "It's appreciated."

"Yeah. I figure if I'm babysitting one I might as well babysit them all."

"You're off duty now. Get some rest, or a drink. Or both."

"Okay. I want to see you again before you leave. I'm not too far from here."

"It's a date."

"Also - I want my fifteen creds an hour. I'll have an invoice ready."

Shepard actually laughed. "Oh, I bet you will."

"See you, Shep."

The Commander made her way toward the hospital room where Sarah was, having to flash her ID in front of the guards before she could pass. Under different circumstances, she might have almost found humor in the fact that the turian lover was being guarded by turians.

She opened the door, and stepped inside. What she saw wasn't entirely what she expected.

Sarah was lounging in her hospital bed, propped up against some pillows. A small, disorganized pile of datapads rested on the table beside her, indicating that she had gone through all of them out of boredom. Her new prosthetics matched her flesh-and-blood limbs in size and shape, but the inorganic sheen of plastic skin gave away the fact that they weren't real.

What really caught Shepard's eye, however, was the expression on Sarah's face. She had her head resting against the pillows and her eyes were as wide as saucers. She didn't seem frightened, more... awed. It was as if she was watching something that only she could see, and her form had gone completely limp in marvel, or possibly shock. Whatever was going on in her head, she obviously didn't see Shepard come into the room.

Shepard had a sense that something else was going on. Her muscles tightened, and multiple thoughts flashed through her head at once. "Daydreaming?" she asked gently, walking over, but keeping a safe distance. Just in case.

Sarah's eyelids flickered, and then her head snapped in the Commander's direction. Her arm-the one that wasn't a prosthetic-came up and covered her mouth as she stared at Shepard. If anything, her eyes widened even further as she seemed to stare at Shepard with... awe? Amazement? Sheer excitement?

Sarah didn't make a sound, she didn't even move. She seemed to be... very engrossed with whatever she was seeing. A moment or two passed, and then her mouth opened, forming a little "_O_" shape. The corner of her right eye glistened, and a tear rolled down her cheek.

Two seconds later, she was practically bawling. Tears flowed down her cheeks in a steady stream, and she practically whimpered.

Shepard waved a hand curiously in her face and got no reaction. There was a palpable tension in the room, and Shepard found herself holding her breath, afraid to break it with another word.

Because she knew, somehow, deep down in her gut, that this was something she'd always wanted to see.

Eventually, Sarah seemed to snap out of whatever trance she seemed to be in and returned to full awareness. She blinked a few times, and then wiped away her tears with the hand she still knew how to use. When she finally noticed the Commander in the room, standing just a few feet from her bed, she flinched. "Oh... oh my God," she uttered, her voice cracking a little. Then her eyes seemed to lock onto Shepard, as if mentally placing her in a different place and a different time... in the future, perhaps?

"Is everything still attached in there?" she asked carefully.

Sarah swallowed, squeezing her eyes shut and taking a deep breath through her nostrils. She seemed to be gathering her composure. "Yeah, I'm okay," she finally said, as if remember where-and perhaps who-she was. She ran a hand through her hair in a fidgety manner and lowered her gaze; she still seemed a little distracted.

It was as if she was processing something inside her mind, and sorting out her emotions.

"You were having a vision."

Sarah looked up sharply. "Huh?" she said simply. "W-what makes you say that?" She seemed hesitant, and still a little distracted.

Shepard merely crossed her arms. And waited.

Sarah seemed to realize that she wasn't going to weasel her way out of this one. She slumped a bit against her pillows and stared at the opposite wall. "Yeah well... yeah. Yeah," she babbled, stammering over that word. It seemed to confirm what Shepard had said.

"It was..." Sarah breathed in deeply, exhaling slowly. "Oh. My. God," she gushed softly, "it was... amazing. And it all makes so much sense now! It... Bioware must have... oh my gosh..." She repeated those last three words at least twice under her breath. She seemed transfixed by the memory of the vision.

"So what did you see?" Shepard asked, keeping a steady voice. "What did Bioware do?"

Sarah actually chuckled a little, though it was a breathless sound that barely held humor. "Bioware did everything," she commented, and then seemed to dismiss that remark. "Um, I mean... well, I know how everything really ends now. I mean, it all makes sense now-I just saw what happens. There's four ways that everything goes, at the end of this war. The cycle will continue if you just brush off the Reapers, or there's three other things that can happen..."

She stopped talking, as if realizing that she was babbling too much. "Oops," she murmured. "Uh... Abby and HK will want to discuss this," she said instead of anything else.

"By the way... how are they?" Sarah asked. "They're on the ship, right?"

Shepard tried not to purse her lips. "They're around," she said by way of answer. Then, because she figured it was high time they breach the subject, she said: "They weren't very happy when they thought that you'd died."

Sarah looked at her, and then lowered her gaze. "I guess they don't want that happening a second time," she said. She looked as if she wanted to add something, but apparently changed her mind. "This has been a crazy few days," she said instead. "It'll be safe on the Normandy," she added confidently.

"You've been busy," Shepard stated.

Sarah hung her head. "Yeah um... I was trying to help." Her face scrunched up and took on an expression somewhere between regret and frustration. "Seems like that happens every damn time I try to help or do something right," she growled quietly.

Before Shepard could do more than open her mouth, Sarah suddenly shouted, "Oh my God, HK and Abby!" She suddenly reached toward Shepard with her good arm. "Can I borrow your radio to talk to them really quick, please?"

"I'm going to get you out of here soon," Shepard informed her. "I'm sure you'll be spending a great deal of time with them then."

"Come on, I really need to talk to them-even just one of them, to find out if they had the same vision. Please? Please? PLEASE?"

Shepard permitted herself a sigh, considering it momentarily. Finally she took the receiver from her ear and handed the radio to her. "Keep it brief," she told her. "And don't cause any more trouble," she warned, extending her index finger in an almost parental gesture. "I'll be right back." With that she headed out, permitting Sarah just a bit of temporary privacy. The Commander needed to get a couple of things squared away before Sarah could be released anyway, and that included talking to Bailey really quick.

Besides, what trouble could Sarah possibly get into in that short amount of time? Scratch that; she'd have Thane keep an eye on the door until she got back.

* * *

><p><strong>(HK)<strong>

When Jack dragged me with her into Purgatory, I found that it was a lot bigger, a lot more crowded, and a lot louder than it had been in the game. The music was so loud that I thought it was going to burst my eardrums, and other people had to shout or yell just to be heard. That made the place even noisier.

"Quite a place, eh?" Jack shouted right into my ear, nearly turning me deaf.

Yes...this certainly was Jack's kind of hangout. Not sure if it was mine or not; I liked to have fun, but this type of fun? Well, not sure about that...and it was full of a bunch of people, most of them drunk. I always had a very uneasy, tense feeling in times like this. It almost seemed worse than Afterlife in person.

Wait, I had to try not to be judgmental. If I had learned anything from being so involved in Church, it was that; I could be too harsh at times and we really had no right to judge anyone. These people were in the middle of a war, a bad war. They'd lost loved ones, comrades...the time in general was stressful.

"How many times have you been here?" I asked her out of curiosity, raising my voice. "We never saw this place in our visions until the war began."

"That's because it's only been here for a few months," a new voice said, also raising her voice to be heard over the noise. Both Jack and I turned to see none other than Aria entering from behind. "You look just as dead as Shepard. Good going."

"Look who it is," Jack commented. "You must have fallen hard to drag your blue ass into a place like this."

Aria snorted, though the sound could barely be heard. "I heard about your Grissom Academy on the news," she said evenly.

"It's been on the news?" Jack raised an eyebrow. "Hope they got some good action shots."

"Cerberus doesn't cause that much ruckus without attracting some form of attention," Aria remarked. "And the press eats that kind of thing up. Funnily enough, that report followed the one about Omega being taken."

"Are you freaking' kidding me?" Jack said, folding her arms across her chest. "The Illusive Man's gotten some grabby little fingers. As long as he stays the fuck away from me and my students, and-" She glanced briefly in my direction, and met my eyes. "Well," she said, "he'd just better leave everyone I know alone."

"Just do me a favor, if you would," Aria said. "When you see Shepard, tell her I want to talk to her."

The fact that we were standing here having a conversation with Aria T'Loak was enough of a shock to me. Had I seen Aria before? Yeah, sure, but Shepard and Samara had done the talking, I just stood there and watched, but now we were talking to her, and she had initiated the conversation. I supposed that these were humbling circumstances, though.

"Alright, we will...though, uhh, I guess Eclipse is out of the way," I said with a smirk and a nervous chuckle. "I guess that only leaves Blood Pack and the Blue Suns for Shepard to help you with."

Truth be told, I had no clue what Sarah was thinking when she decided to get her leg chopped off by Jona Sederis...but the thought mortified me. Poor Sarah, one of my best friends, being brutalized by an insane asari. And from what little I knew of Jona Sederis, Sarah may have just glanced at her and she decided to make "heads roll." I couldn't imagine seeing Sarah without one of her legs, but at the same time, for her to still be alive? That was a blessing in itself, so perhaps I should be more grateful. At least Sarah was alive.

"Yeah. I managed to get the Council to tell Bailey to back off and get Sederis out of prison, and then your little friend decided to make an ass out of herself in the refugee sector," Aria said. "Funnily enough, her stupidity may have benefitted me somewhat. I've never seen the Eclipse so organized and effective under a salarian leader before."

"Yeah, I heard about the shitstorm Sarah caused," Jack smirked. "I always knew she was mostly crazy, but that? I wonder what kind of drugs they're giving out at that hospital. Whatever they are, I may want some before all of this is over."

"Whatever happened," I said, not really wanting to get into a discussion about drugs and Sarah being crazy, because I was sure she had good intentions. "The Eclipse will operate better under Sayn. He's a lot better than Jona, trust me. It is just unfortunate what had to happen to get to this point."

"Just pass on my message to Shepard, if you cross paths with her," Aria said, apparently not wanting to converse much more. With that, she turned and retreated to another area of the building with a couple of guards-or assistances, or possibly both-in tow behind her.

"Come on," Jack said, tugging at my arm. She showed enough consideration not to pull on the side that was near my injury-which Chakwas had treated with medi-gel, though it was still a little sore. "Let's have a little fun, while we still can."

I started to follow her, but I didn't even notice myself not move at all. Suddenly, I wasn't with Jack at Purgatory anymore, and instead I was...seeing things. Like graphics, or something. Wait...graphics in the Mass Effect universe. I was seeing a myriad of images; I could hear voices, and I saw people I knew before me. Admiral Hackett was ordering the Normandy to leave somewhere...Earth? The battle for Earth? And Joker was refusing, but then Garrus convinced him. Then, within an instant, I saw Jacob sitting and talking to soldiers, him and his girlfriend comforting someone...Wrex and Grunt arriving on Tuchanka and speaking to the krogan. Kasumi seeing her lover again, Miranda looking at some sort of plan with several people. And that just scratched the surface.

_"I am alive."_

_"The war is over. The Reapers have been defeated."_

_"Eternal. Infinite. Immortal."_

_"So be it."_

Several voices swirled around in my head, with conflicting images. I knew most, if not all of the voices, yet a couple of them sounded...different, altered. Suddenly, I could see the Catalyst talking to Shepard, explaining things that...well, he didn't explain in the game. He was talking about...his creation? The first Reaper? And a variety of other dialogue that I hadn't seen before, I could see him explaining it to Shepard...both male and female Shepards. I was seeing different outcomes, different realities. Next, I could see the three colored waves blasting out from the Citadel: blue, green, and red, depending on Shepard's choice. I knew that already, but now I saw...more of a reaction on Earth. I saw soldiers fighting husks, and suddenly, that fight being halted somehow. I saw turians, asari, and krogan all celebrating on their respective planets, in each individual outcome, no matter which one was chosen. Next, I saw planets being...rebuilt, put back together. I saw the Reapers helping in one case; in another case, I saw them repairing a relay, and then in another, I simply saw organics helping rebuild.

What was going on?

Many more images flashed through my mind, too many to recount. I heard EDI talking, I heard Admiral Hackett talking, I heard Shepard talking, and I heard Liara talking. All at once, yet I could hear it all.

_"We will reclaim our worlds, and the stars."_

_"It will take time, but we can rebuild everything that was destroyed."_

_"I will rebuild what the many have lost."_

_"I only hope the information in this capsule is enough to help you before it's too late."_

There was some contrast between what I was seeing...actually, a lot, especially with what Liara was saying, but I heard all of these people talk and tell their different, yet similar, stories. It seemed that this dealt with the aftermath of Shepard's decision, perhaps? The aftermath of the Reaper war? It seemed that now, Shepard even had another decision: She, or he, could refuse any of the options that the Catalyst proposed, and evidently...lose the war? I also saw flashbacks to some of the people that had died...Legion, Mordin, even Shepard, as their sacrifices were mentioned by the voices speaking.

Next, after seeing so many images of crew members that I knew, some that I loved, I finally saw the ME3 crew, the current Normandy crew, standing on the Normandy, in front of the memorial wall. They were...placing a plaque on the wall. Anderson already had a plaque, apparently, and now...they were placing Shepard's? Liara was doing it, and they all looked so...sad, so broken, yet at the same time, everyone speaking, and even standing there, sounded slightly proud.

_"Because of Shepard...I am alive, and I am not alone."_

_"And we will honor those who died to give us that future."_

_"And I will watch over the ones who live on."_

Then, I saw the Normandy lift off from that planet it had crashed on, and fly off. After that, the last thing I saw was a slightly different version, with different people, of the Stargazer scene at the end.

Within a second, as if absolutely nothing had happened, I was back inside Purgatory with Jack trying to pull me towards...wherever she wanted to go, I couldn't remember. I felt overwhelmed, shocked, and confused. "Oh...oh my goodness," I gasped, feeling very light headed and not really moving, despite Jack's tugging.

"Hey, what's the matter with you?" Jack asked me suddenly, scowling in a mixture of confusion and concern. "Hey!" She snapped her fingers next to my ear, though I barely heard it. "HK, what's wrong?"

She almost looked like she wanted to pick me up and put me into one of the nearby seats.

And to be honest, I wouldn't mind that. "I...I think I need to sit down or something," I replied, feeling almost numb. Had I actually just had a vision? A real vision, not something that was a cover up for playing a video game? "Jack...I think...I think I just had a vision. An actual vision."

Her eyes somehow managed to widen into saucers and then narrow into slits within the same second upon hearing this. "Come on," she muttered, taking me by the shoulders and guiding me toward the nearest table.

After she made sure I was seated, she rested one arm across the back of my chair and placed her other hand flat on the table for balance, bending close to me. Her face was so close to mine that our noses nearly touched. "What happened?" she asked me. "What did you see this time?" She seemed curious, and eager.

Before I could say anything, my commlink activated, and I heard a very familiar voice-one I hadn't heard since the last time we were in the Mass Effect universe.

"Hello? HK, are you there?" Sarah's voice was saying.

Suddenly, my numb feeling turned into a feeling of more shock and some joy. In a way, I was thankful because I needed this after what I just experienced...yet at the same time, so much was happening. I wasn't good with things like this. "Sarah!" I shouted, louder than I had at any point while I was in this bar. "Oh, Sarah, it is so good to hear your voice! I...I don't even know what to say! How are you?"

"I'm okay, I guess," Sarah said. "Shepard loaned me her radio so that I could talk to you. She'll be back in a minute. I just gotta know, did you see the vision too?"

Jack almost seemed to sulk slightly. "Great, one of your old roommates decided to call," she commented. "I'm gonna make sure Shepard doesn't let you sleep in the same room with her or Abby again if you guys go back to the Normandy."

I gave Jack an exasperated look that was almost a small glare. "Sarah, I just saw it...I don't even know what to make of it, but right now, I think I'm a little more occupied with speaking to you again. Well, I don't know, it's just...so great to hear your voice! We thought you were gone."

"Yeah, I almost was... twice," I heard Sarah say. She sounded regretful. "Shepard's working on getting me out of this hospital, I think. I guess that means I'll be on the Normandy soon! Hey, how's Abby?"

Jack had taken a seat directly across from me, remaining tolerantly silent while I continued my conversation on the radio, yet obviously impatient. Her fingers drummed the tabletop in annoyance. After a moment, she seemed to occupy herself with what appeared to be a duty roster.

"She's...good, I think," I replied, still trying to get my bearings. "It's been crazy for us, too; people on the Normandy have looked at us like we're crazy, but we're doing okay. She's doing okay; she's holding up, like she always does. She's probably the best at that, rather than either one of us. Though, I must say, I...am proud of you, and so thankful to God that you are alive and okay. I heard what you went through, and I'm so sorry. Again, I'm just very thankful that you are still alive."

"Yeah well, there's not much to be proud about," Sarah told me solemnly. "I screwed up again. Not that anybody is really surprised, I guess." She sounded down.

"Don't look at it like that. Yes, you've made mistakes, even recently, yet so have we all," I said, suddenly slipping back into my counselor mode, almost. "You survived, and that is a true blessing. Everyone is glad that you are alive and well."

"Yeah well... I'm under the impression that I pissed off Kasumi," Sarah said, actually managing a chuckle. It sounded like a breathless, humorless laugh, though I could barely tell over all the noise. "That's the vibe I got from her during her last visit, anyway... even if she didn't say too much."

"I can see how it'd be aggravating, of course, but everyone is just stressed right now...and unfortunately, that stress will probably continue," I told Sarah, sighing as I thought of all that was going on. Surprisingly, talking to Sarah about her latest incidents were actually helping me calm down from the vision, although I still felt a lot of anxiety welled up in my chest. I didn't feel too well at the moment, not after that.

"Yeah. So..." Sarah paused, and I could almost see her in my mind's eye looking around the room, making certain no one else was there. Then she lowered her voice a fraction, making me strain to hear her over the noise-funnily enough, all of the noise in this place probably ensured that no one could hear us, not even Jack who sat across from me. She was keeping herself occupied at the moment anyway.

"Okay," Sarah was saying, "what do you think? I mean... oh my God, this is so amazing! What do you think Shepard should do? What should she choose?" She sounded slightly giddy now, almost as if this was... well, a game.

"I...I don't know," I admitted. All of that was still confusing to me, although it made things...a lot clearer. I hadn't even processed it fully yet. "I am not even sure what to make of all of that. Where did it come from? I mean, well, I guess it could have been something...released after we came here. It wouldn't be the first time that happened, but still, I've never had an experience like that before. I have no idea what this means, or what she should do. We're barely even into this war yet."

"Yeah." Pause. "Shepard's back, gotta go. See you back on the Normandy, okay?"

"Al..alright," I said. There was another brief pause, but I was the one to end it this time. "Sarah...it is really good to talk to you and have you back. You...you mean a lot to me, and to Abby. We both love you and care for you very much."

"Thanks... bye!" The radio went silent.

"Finished talking to her?" Jack asked, barely glancing up from her pad.

I cleared my throat. I felt exhausted once again and I hadn't done anything. "Yes, yes...sorry about that, Jack. Thanks for bearing with me," I told her, hoping she'd understand. I didn't want her to think I was putting her off or anything like that. "It's just...we thought Sarah was dead, again, and then we found out she was alive, and we both had this vision...I don't know. It was just...very good to talk to her. It helped me process a few things, although I'm still feeling confused."

To my relief, she nodded with understanding, and I actually saw a flash of sympathy in her eyes. I had a feeling that her time with her students had softened her up quite a bit, and given her something more to care about.

"Look," she said, putting the datapad aside on the table, "I've been doing some thinking about everything. And..." She sighed. "I guess everything did turn out for the best in a way. You really helped me see that there are people out there who can..." She hesitated, swallowing. "Who can... love me for the way I am, just because I'm me and I'm special, not because I can do shit for people. After I put my past behind me by blowing that Cerberus dump to hell, I began to feel a peace I'd never known before. And you..."

She actually smiled. "You never changed one bit, no matter how much I tried to pressure you into sleeping with me. And even though I aggravated you, you never pushed me away either. And it's nice to see you haven't changed."

She paused, and then continued. "After you... died," her voice cracked, "I needed something else to do, something else to focus on. I guess your influence never left me, because I ended up working with my kids." Her eyes sparkled with affection. "Best damn thing I've ever done with my life."

She sighed. "I guess I understand better than anyone what Alenko must have felt when he found out Shepard was alive again," she remarked thoughtfully.

I smiled, feeling very...touched by that. Even though that vision had wound me up, talking to Sarah and then what Jack said...it truly meant so much to me. "I understand, and again, I'm sorry. I didn't...think it would turn out like this. And I am very proud of the woman you have become...you were great before, but you've made so much of yourself now, and I am so thankful for that. Whether I was in your life or not, you would've accomplished all of this. You are a great woman, Jack, and I'm extremely proud of you."

She stood suddenly, and did something that took me by surprise. She walked around to my side of the table and sat in my lap, draping an arm around my shoulders-and still being careful because of my recent injury.

"I think we should talk," she sighed. "Right now. While there's still time to talk."

"You're probably correct. After we part ways...well, we will see each other again, I am almost sure of that, but this war is going to take us in a million different directions, and...I suppose our visions may not always be accurate," I agreed, looking up at Jack, and actually letting her sit on my lap for the moment. Normally, I'd object to such an action, but right now...I didn't particularly mind.

She looked straight into my eyes. "You're right," she said. "The war is going to do that with all of us, and... the last time you and your two psychic friends died, none of you saw it coming. I knew that much when Sarah died first. So..." She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath through her nostrils, and she rested her head against my shoulder.

"Just in case I never see you again after this-and DON'T say anything, because I know you can't make any guarantees-I want... I need..." She bit her lower lip, as if trying to find the words to continue.

"Yes, Jack?" I asked, looking intensely at her. "What is it?"

She nuzzled closer against me, touching my chest lightly with her free hand. "HK, I can't go through this again," she told me. "I want to be with you, but... damn this war!" She hissed. "You're going with Shepard, because she needs you with her. And I need to be with my students-I wouldn't want it any other way now. But..."

She angled her head to look at my face. "The way I see it, I think... maybe we should just end it." Her voice almost trembled-it was obvious that in her heart, she didn't mean that, or at least didn't want that. "It... it's better that way." She looked away, and seemed to be trying to convince herself of that fact.

In a way, I was almost taken by surprise. We had just basically, well, reconciled and now this? Though in a way, I could understand it. "I...I understand. I mean, our...relationship has been so complicated, and this does hurt me, but I understand. Maybe you're right...maybe for now, it is better for us to not be involved. We both need to stay focused on our own jobs...I don't know. It is up to yo-"

I stopped. I often told people that because I didn't have a stake in it, or I wanted to let them have the power or didn't want to hurt any feelings by making my own decision, but this was a two-way street. It wasn't just up to her...it was up to both of us, and I couldn't shove this off on her. "Maybe you're right," I finally muttered. I didn't know what to think. Were Jack and I even meant to be together? Is that what God planned for me...is any of this what He had planned? Or was it just some fling?

Jack pressed her lips into a thin line. "Yeah, of course it's right," she stated firmly, as if that settled everything.

Suddenly she kissed me, and then she placed a hand against my cheek. "Look," she said, staring straight into my eyes, "I want to... have sex with you," she stated very bluntly. "I know you're not comfortable with that, but... please. We may never get this chance again, and... it will give me something to remember you by. Just knowing that... I was your first." I had never known Jack to say "please", nor had I ever seen this particular look in her eyes before. A look that practically screamed, 'I want you'.

I sighed. That was a...difficult thing to think about. I was eighteen years old, and many guys, and girls in fact, my age had already had sex. Most hungered for it, and yes, I had my own cravings at times but...I wasn't sure if I was ready. It went against my devout Christian beliefs; I had many friends who did it, and I didn't look down on them for it, but I didn't think it was what I should do. Then again, I wasn't sure what to believe about sex in general when it came to God, and...Jack was right, I may never have this chance.

"Jack...I...I understand...and heck, I don't even disagree," I admitted, slightly uncomfortable. "But...I don't even know. I don't know if I am ready; I don't know if it's right. I understand, but I just...I don't know. You are right, and when I see how deeply you feel about this...it means so much to me, but I...I don't know. I feel like...if we're meant to have sex one day, then we will...but I am uncertain that that time is now."

"HK," Jack practically growled, "I wish you knew how it makes me... feel when you say things like that." She snuggled against me again, wrapping her arms around me and resting her head against my shoulder. "For whatever reason you have, you don't take sex lightly, which means... it'll mean something to you when you do someone for the first time. Maybe it won't mean anything once you've done it, because the awkwardness of it would pass, but... it would just mean a lot to me if I was the first one." Her face tightened. "I can't stand the thought of you doing it with another woman." She looked into my eyes again. "So what the fuck is holding you back with me? Tell me."

"I believe...differently than many people do. I believe that it should wait until marriage, and it is worth waiting until marriage; I don't take my Christian beliefs lightly, even though I don't judge other people if they live differently. If you are meant to be the one that I give my virginity to, then it will happen, no matter what happens in this war. And aside from that, even if that is the primary reason, I...don't know if I'm ready. Have I had sexual thoughts? Of course, but I have never considered actually having sex with a specific woman before. Not like this," I explained to Jack, firmly yet sympathetically. I didn't want to sound mean or anything, but I was firm in what I was saying.

She was silent for a long moment, contemplating everything I'd just said. Her expression was mostly blank, and her eyelids flickered a few times. I began to worry that she was getting angry at me.

Instead, however, she got out of my lap and sank down into one knee beside my chair, taking one of my hands and cupping her own hands around it, giving it a little squeeze. "Then marry me," she said with a little shrug.

I was so shocked I almost fell out of my seat. I didn't expect that coming any more than I expected to have a vision earlier. "Jack...I...I'm flattered, but once again..." I hesitated, hating to reject her yet again, even if it wasn't exactly rejecting. "I don't know if I'm ready. I mean, we are about to go in two entirely different directions, at least for a while. I'm eighteen...I don't know if I am ready for marriage, and marriage was meant by God to be a beautiful thing...not an excuse just to have sex."

She pursed her lips. "It's not just that," she stating, gripping my hand even more firmly. "I love you, HK. And I have to accept the fact that I may lose you again, because of this fucking war. If that's the way it is... then I want to know that I can belong completely to you, even for a short time, and that you can belong completely to me. And I want just one chance to have you in bed with me before you leave with Shepard." She stared at me, hard, her eyes full of passion.

Then she added, "Either we do this right now, or... I don't ever want to speak to you again." Her blunt words cut like a knife through the already tense air between us.

Those words truly did sting. I mean, the thought of never speaking to Jack over something like this was hurtful and made me even more worried, but if she was really going to do that...maybe this wasn't meant to work out in the first place. "Jack," I began, trying to remain calm. "Please...I totally understand, and is there a part of me that wants to? Heck yes, there is. Believe me, there is...but we should be able to know that we completely belong to each other in this world, in this...realm, whether we are married or not. Whether we have sex or not. Again, if it is meant to be, it will come at the right time, but we should be secure enough in our relationship to know that we love each other now, no matter what happens in this war. No matter what happens anywhere. Our relationship is much more than sex or even marriage."

She looked resentful at my words, even bitter. In a low, angry tone, she said, "I don't get what the fuck you're talking about. You need something deeper than marriage or sex? You want something other than those things to truly belong to each other? HK..." She sighed, her face twisting in frustration. "Okay, I never wanted to admit this before. But... ever since I really realized that you didn't want to have sex with me-or anyone else-lightly, I've felt... possessive of you. Like I just had to have you, because you've always been so naive and innocent. I've never met any guy like you before, and I guess... I just wanted to keep after you, until you gave it up."

She frowned, as if something else had occurred to her. "Though," she admitted thoughtfully, "I can't help but wonder if that's part of the... fun of it. Always chasing you, and always having you turn me down. It's like a game, where I hope that one day I'll get to score. Once that happens, the game is won and it isn't worth pursuing anymore."

She sighed. "Still, you are special to me, HK." She had released my hand when I rejected her proposal, but not she grabbed it again-with just one hand, holding it as a lover would do. "So make me understand," she requested. "What would it take for you to marry someone? What else is there, besides love, sex, and... emotional attachment?"

I looked at her with sadness; I didn't know if it was visible or not. "I never said I needed something deeper...I said we have something deeper, Jack. I believe that, at least. I believe that we have a deep connection, a deep love, that I've never had with a woman before, or any person for that matter. I've been blessed by that, by you, and I don't know if there is anything deeper, but I know that what I have with you is deeper than all of that. What would it take for me to marry someone? I...don't know. I'm eighteen; it is not usually something I think on much, even if it has crossed my mind. It just depends on what I feel led to do, I guess...what I know is right."

"What if I said I strongly feel that now is the right time?" Jack insisted. "Think about it. We could get hitched, get laid, and then you can go back to be with Shepard to do your duty. And the two of us can keep in touch from a distance, while you help Shepard save the galaxy and I work with my students."

"This is really important to you, isn't it?" I finally said with a sigh. "Jack...whether or not we have sex doesn't change things between us. Even if we don't and we part ways for now, I'll still be yours as much as I would be if we did have sex! You must realize that."

"Is there anyone else you'd rather have sex with?" Her eyes narrowed with suspicion. "Like Sarah? Or... Abby?"

My eyes went wide. "NO! I love Sarah and Abby very much, they are some of my best friends, my only best friends here, and I love them to death, but that's not who they are to me, nor is that who I am to them. There is no one else that I'd rather have sex with, Jack! You are the only one that I would want to have sex with," I insisted, louder and firmer than I was before.

"You are the strangest, most frustrating guy I've ever met!" Jack exclaimed. Then she sighed, and her shoulders lost some of their tension. "Then again, that's why I love you," she said.

She thought for a moment. "Alright," she said, finally getting up off the floor and resting against the table beside me, leaning on her elbow, "what if maybe... we plan a future date for a wedding? Or not even that-just say we're engaged."

Even that thought made me a little tense and uncertain, but...perhaps one day, if it was truly meant to happen, then there would be no harm in it. "Alright, Jack," I said with a light smile, thankful that she had backed down. "That sounds good to me."

She was taken aback, as if surprised that I agreed to it. "Holy shit," she said. "I guess I know that you really do mean it now, when you say we share something special." She smiled-she didn't look completely satisfied, but she seemed happy enough. "Wait right here," she said, and quickly slipped away.

A part of me dreaded what she was doing, but at the same time, I leaned back and let myself take a breath...I was able to relax again, after a vision, verbally reuniting with Sarah, and that tense discussion. Jack and I were okay, and that...made me happy. I just seriously prayed that I had done the right thing.

Nearly twenty minutes passed before Jack came back. She had actually left the building in a rush, but now she came charging back through the doors and straight toward my table.

"Good, you're still here," she panted, sounding slightly breathless. "Now," she said, "give me your hand. Come on, hold it out."

Suspiciously, I held out my hand, though I had a feeling I knew what was coming.

She slipped a golden ring onto my left ring finger. "There," she said, giving my hand a squeeze before letting it go. "Spent all of my extra creds on that, but it was worth it." She gave a satisfied nod. "Now, it's official. We're engaged."

I looked at it, and smiled. My goodness, it was very nice. "Wow, Jack...I don't even know what to say. Thank you so, so much...for all of this, for being willing to wait...you don't know what it means to me," I told her happily. I chuckled. "You know, it's interesting...usually, it's the guy proposing to the girl, getting her the ring, begging her to have sex with him...in our relationship, it's different...but I guess it fits who we are."

She nodded. "Now," she said, "let's go to the dance floor. I want to see how you move." She winked at me.

"Well, Jack," I said with another chuckle. "I know I've had an interesting and out of sorts couple of days, but back home, I was quite known for my dancing. You'd best be prepared."

"You're on!" Jack said, pumping her fist playfully into the air, and then she took my hand and pulled me to my feet. "Show me," she grinned.

I began to walk with Jack towards the dance floor, smirking, and ready to show her exactly what I could do on the dance floor.

* * *

><p><strong>(Sarah)<strong>

When Shepard returned, she matter-of-factly took the radio set from me and put the receiver back into her ear. "We're getting ready to move you to the Normandy," she said. "And it looks like your turian..." She hesitated ever so slightly, as if trying to find the right word. "...Acquaintance," she finally continued, "is coming with us."

I blinked several times. "Irren? Really?" I exclaimed.

"Apparently C-sec has been putting extra security on him as well," Shepard explained, "especially since he was your bodyguard on Menae. Bailey gave me the full details, and... he didn't ask directly if I could take Irren out of here with you, but the implication was there." Her eyes narrowed fractionally.

In that case, it was pretty obvious that Bailey had spoken to Irren, and Irren had probably told him everything he could about us. Plus I had already told Bailey everything I could think to tell as well. Cerberus knew about me and my connection to him, so... C-sec just wanted to keep him safe, too.

"I... guess that's the price to pay, being my bodyguard," I commented. I was desperately trying hard to be funny. I don't think it came out that way though, not even to me.

Shepard ignored what I said. "The doctors say that you're stable, and an escort is already moving Irren Lokam to the Normandy." She leaned over me and slipped her arms around me, not quite in a hug-like manner, but definitely a secure hold.

"What are you doing?" I asked, flinching at her touch. She wasn't rough, but she had never touched me before.

"I'm not taking any chances. I'm going to escort you to the Normandy myself," Shepard said.

"Hey, I can't even walk," I remarked indigently as she pulled me into a sitting position, and began to pull me off the bed. "What do you think I'm gonna do?"

"Let's just say that at this point, I wouldn't put anything past you," Shepard said, draping my good arm over her shoulders and slipping a secure arm around my waste. I was just glad she wasn't wearing any armor at the moment; that would have been uncomfortable to lean against.

We were mostly quiet as she took me toward the elevator, and even more quiet as we rode the lift to the level where the Normandy was docked. And then... well, walking to the Normandy was very, very awkward. I could still move my good leg, but I still hadn't learned to use my new prosthetic yet, so one of my legs was limp and useless. I tried to move in rhythm with Shepard's legs, but it was difficult. Nevertheless, she kept up the pace without comment; her breathing barely even increased.

I began to experience a mixture of emotions as we finally made it to the airlock. In a way... it felt like going home again. A home that had been like my prison and my life-preserver for months the last time I was here.

"Oh gosh," I murmured as Shepard half-carried, half-pulled me through the airlock. Soon, we entered the ship.

"You okay?" Shepard asked me, surprising me a little. I guess she really did care.

"Yeah," I breathed. "It's just... wow. Home!"

"I guess it is, at least for now," Shepard said as he exited the airlock, moving fully into the corridor that lead to the bridge, and the rest of the ship in the opposite direction.

I couldn't resist. I really couldn't. I dug my good heel into the ground and pulled on Shepard's arm, stopping her. She raised the Shepard Eyebrow at me in puzzlement; she was in no mood for games.

But I was. Especially after all the crap I'd put myself through lately. I think I deserved a chance to do something goofy.

"JOKER! EDI!" I bellowed in the direction of the cockpit-I saw Shepard wince, and I realized I was yelling too close to her ear. I didn't care. "GUESS WHO'S BACK!"

"So, yet another dead person onboard. Yipee," Joker remarked with his usual sarcasm. He didn't turn to look at me.

However, EDI did. She stood up and walked towards me in her brand new body. "Hello, Sarah," she greeted. "It is...pleasing to see that you are alive. Abby and HK did not even predict that you would return; they were very happy to hear that you were alive. The amount of germs present in the bathrooms have increased by ten percent since your death. That was a joke."

"Oh hardy har har," I rolled my eyes. "Nice to know you haven't changed." I smiled a little.

"EDI," Shepard sighed, "if you're not too busy, I'd like you to escort Sarah down to the medical bay. Dr. Chakwas is already expecting her." I suddenly felt like I was nothing more than a sack of potatoes she couldn't wait to hand over to someone else.

"Yes, Shepard," EDI said, before grabbing me and basically swooping me into her arms without any trouble. "I have missed our interesting discussions, Sarah. Also, is this position suitable for you? My new body allows me to adjust your position in a large variety of ways."

"Well, I'm kinda tired of hobbling along beside people," I commented. "But I don't want to be thrown over your shoulder like a sack of potatoes or anything either, so don't even think about that." I considered for a moment. "How about carrying me bridal style?"

"That position is easily attainable," EDI said, before adjusting my body so that I was in her arms 'bridal style.' "Is this comfortable?"

Shepard shook her head and walked away, no doubt getting ready to attend to other matters.

"Yeah, I guess so," I shrugged. It felt a little weird, but it was okay. I thought I heard Joker mutter something under his breath from the cockpit, but I couldn't quite hear it. Something about EDI needing to be careful if I tried to eat her brains, or something?

I tried to ignore the stares that EDI and I received as she carried me through the heart of the command center and toward the lift. As we neared the elevator, I saw a dark-skinned woman whom I recognized as Samantha Traynor glance sharply in our direction. Her eyebrows lifted high on her forehead, nearly disappeared beneath her bangs.

"My, my, you have yourself quite a catch there, EDI," the yeoman commented. I couldn't tell if she was serious or making a joke, but either way... I experienced a dreaded déjà vu, vividly remembering what Kelly Chambers thought was going on between me and Abby. I grimaced.

"So it would seem," was all that EDI said as we went into the elevator. She shifted me a little in her arms so that she could hit the elevator controls, and then we were moving.

Soon enough, we arrived on the crew deck. EDI matter-of-factly walked out of the lift as she carried me toward the medical bay. I glanced around, hoping to catch a glimpse of either Liara or Garrus, or maybe even Rupert-

Oh yeah, Rupert wasn't here. I frowned. He had basically been my boss the last time around, one of the people I'd seen the most. I would miss him.

EDI was silent as she entered the Medical Bay, although she did make a few comments about the Normandy's systems running very nicely with their improvements. She walked into the Medical Bay, and Dr. Chakwas swerved around in her chair, before looking a little bit...uncomfortable.

"Dr. Chakwas, Shepard wanted Sarah to be brought down for a checkup. She was just released from Huerta Memorial Hospital and Dr. Chloe Michel's care after losing an arm and a leg. However, she seems to be mostly well," EDI explained to Chakwas very matter-of-factly, much like how she moved.

"Yes, yes, the Commander informed me earlier that Sarah would be arriving," Chakwas answered, and I saw her gulp slightly. "Sit her down on that bed right over there, please."

"There is no reason to be nervous, doctor," EDI said, almost reassuringly, as she walked over to the bed that Chakwas had pointed at and sat me down. "Just as with Abby and HK, my scans confirm that this is Sarah, and not any form of clone or a husk. It is the same woman it was during our mission to stop the Collectors."

Chakwas nodded. "I know, EDI, I know. Thank you," she said hesitantly, before walking over to the side of my bed, while EDI turned and left. "Hello, Sarah. How are you? It is...good to see you again."

There was a look in her eyes that made me feel like she was staring at a ghost when she looked at me. Maybe she was, in a way. "No, it's not," I said with a little shrug. "I mean, uh... this has got to be pretty creepy for you. You gonna be okay with this?"

"Yes, Sarah. My sincere apologies," Chakwas said, and I could tell that she was trying very hard, extremely hard, to sound nice and comfortable. "It is just...well, I was abducted by the Collectors, as you well know. I thought I had put that entire incident behind me, but...before that occurred, you were in this morgue. You were in my morgue, and I watched the readings on your body change. I saw you turn into a husk...and then, at the Collector Base, I recall you dragging HK off to eventually interrogate and torture him. Those are my last memories of you both before now. And now, suddenly, here all three of you are, alive and well. You...don't even have any signs of ever being a husk."

"Yeah... it's pretty crazy," I commented empathically. "I just... well, we'll do the best we can, you know." I sighed, glancing out through the window. "I guess I'm gonna be stuck in here for a while," I said thoughtfully.

And that was when it sunk in. I was going to be confined to this bed, in the medical bay, for who knew how long. At least until I learned how to use my new limbs, I guess. That meant I was probably going to go stir-crazy... unless somebody came to visit me now and then.

It made me a little sad that most of the people who served on this vessel during the events of Mass Effect 2 would not be returning... that I knew of, at least.

"Yes, and I am your doctor. I refuse to let any of my past experiences cloud my judgment when it comes to treating you and helping you recover," Chakwas told me, suddenly sounding much firmer in what she was saying. Maybe talking about her actual job helped, or maybe she was a little more comfortable now that she had talked about all of that? "I am sorry for what has happened to your arm and your leg...however, the damage is not unfixable. With some physical therapy, you will be moving again in no time. There are many options that we can pursue down the line, as well."

I was just about to ask what kind of options, when the door to the medical bay opened again. This time, a very familiar-looking turian was brought in on a stretcher by two crewmen, and eased onto the bed next to me.

It seemed that me and Irren were going to be roommates of a sort. At least I wouldn't be alone.

"Hi, Irren!" I greeted cheerfully.

Irren chuckled slightly. "Hello, Sarah," he greeted back, smirking slightly, as well. "I guess we're going to be together a little longer than we originally thought. Apparently it was highly suggested that I be moved to the Normandy along with you, or something along those lines. However, I'm not complaining. It's one of the best ships in the Galaxy, and my own Primarch is on board, as well as Commander Shepard and Vakarian."

"You must be Irren Lokam," Dr. Chakwas correctly assumed, walking over to his bed and extending her hand. "I am Dr. Karin Chakwas. I will be treating you while you're in the medical bay on the Normandy. I can assure you that it is just as much state-of-the-art as any other part of the ship."

Irren chuckled again as he shook her hand. "I'm sure it is, doctor. I look forward to...working together."

"Well," Chakwas said with a little smile, "it would seem that you are healing rather nicely for someone who was attacked by a Brute and had an avalanche fall on top of you."

"Just goes to show you how resilient we turians are," Irren remarked with a tip of his chin. His mandibles twitched slightly, as if in amusement.

"Well, you survived that better than a human would have," Chakwas concurred. "But don't get ahead of yourself-you're not as tough as a krogan." She then activated her omni-tool; it took me a moment to realize she was checking the time. "Oh my, I actually need to check and see if the supplies I ordered are ready to be picked up," she said, already moving toward the door. She paused, and looked back at us both. "I will be back shortly," she said. "If you need anything, just say so-EDI is always listening." She cast a brief glance toward the ceiling. "Right, EDI?"

"Affirmative, Dr. Chakwas," the AI answered.

"Stay out of trouble, both of you," Chakwas told Irren and I-although she was looking at me when she said it. Had she heard about the ruckus I caused at the hospital on the Citadel? She must have...

With that, she left.

"So," I said, looking in Irren's direction, "um... how are you doing?"

"Well, all things considered? I'm doing pretty well...my injuries have been steadily healing, and this doctor doesn't seem too bad, so I hope to keep that up," Irren said positively. "Though, this is a bit different for me. I haven't really served on ships before, especially not human ships. And I'm not used to my first time on a ship being spent inside its medical bay."

"Yeah well, I'm sure you'll be out of here soon enough," I said. And then I frowned. "Wait a minute," I said. "What happens to you now? I mean... is Shepard gonna have you transferred to a turian ship or something? Or are you gonna go back to Menae, or..." My face lit up as another idea occurred to me. "Are you going to stay here, on the Normandy?" I asked.

I wasn't sure why I was even asking about this. Maybe it was because me and this turian had been through life and death together, at least on Menae. Then again... we hadn't even talked much since we watched Blasto together before my surgery, when we had that... awkward, silly conversation.

Gosh I hoped he didn't remember that... I sure did, and it made me want to crawl underneath the deck plating.

"I don't know, to be honest; Commander Shepard didn't give me too many details, but I have to guess that I'm going to be here for a while, at least. It sounded like C-Sec wanted Shepard to take me, and well, with the Primarch and Vakarian here...I'm sure they could use some extra help. It's up to them, though, as to what they do with me, but I don't think Menae is exactly a prime drop off point right now."

"I'd really like you to stay," I said, even though we both knew full well that that was not up to me. Part of me knew that it might work if I invented some kind of "vision" to make Shepard believe that Irren had to stay, but... well, I never made it a habit to lie, especially about serious things. So... no, I would not do that.

"Or if you go, I want to go with you!" That sentence flew out of my mouth before I could even stop it.

Irren raised an eye ridge, and then let out a little chuckle. "So, after all this time of talking about wanting to get back to Commander Shepard, you'd want to go with me back to the thick of the war? Back to a place like Menae?" he asked, still chuckling. "I'd advise you to think twice about that."

I frowned. I really wasn't sure what I was doing or even saying at this point. Maybe... I just wanted something, or someone, that I could cling to. Desperately. Maybe I was that emotionally needy, especially after all of the stupid things that happened to me lately. And somehow... I felt like I needed this turian. He'd been by my side, more or less, ever since he was assigned to be my bodyguard-since that time, I'd always known roughly where he was.

For some reason I just didn't want to lose that. Was I being... childishly possessive of him, because I thought I could hang onto him in a way that I couldn't with Garrus? I honestly didn't know.

"No I don't want to go back into the war," I admitted. "The safest place is here, on the Normandy." I gave him a meaningful look. "That's why I want you to stay," I added meekly. "I want you... to be with me." I winced and looked away, not quite sure how he was going to take that.

"Well, for a time, I will be, and perhaps longer. The Normandy is a famous ship, even amongst turians; can't say I would mind staying, either," Irren said, either misreading or disregarding my last remark.

"Good," I said with a little smile. The selfish part of me actually wanted to... press the topic, to try and gauge how he might feel about me at this point. But I wasn't sure if this was the right time to talk about that. I didn't want to seem... too forward, or pushy.

Instead, I said something else-just because it seemed important. "I hope you don't think any less of me for the shit I caused at that hospital," I said, looking away from him. "I mean... you know, sneaking off and picking a fight with a gang leader."

Irren immediately shook his head. "No, I don't," he assured me in a firm, business-like tone. "Are you totally innocent? No, I can't say I would've condoned some of the things you did, but a lot of it wasn't really your fault, either. I understand trying to escape the hospital, the thought even crossed my mind. Everything else that happened was mostly due to the choices of the asari that you happened to encounter."

I felt something warm and fuzzy swell up inside my chest. "Thanks, Irren," I said, wishing that I could hug him. At least he wasn't looking down at me or giving me a lecture. I could totally imagine Miranda doing that... thank God she wasn't here on the ship anymore.

I said a silent prayer for her though, so that she could hopefully continue on her journey to find her sister-and her father.

"I'm going to sleep now," I said, settling in on the bed. I had a feeling that Chakwas would have me quite busy later, during physical therapy. "Good night, Irren."

"Good night, Sarah," Irren replied, and he sounded almost happy, or at least...positive.

* * *

><p><strong>(Abby)<strong>

I'd forgotten how hard this was. To slip into another life, attempting to live it seamlessly while a steady stream of thoughts from your other, 'real' self continued on uninterrupted in the background. It was, for lack of a better word, crazy. Ridiculous.

And when you got past the gut-wrenching, psychological horror of living that double life, you then had new obstacles to deal with. Emotional attachments, for one. Questions I'd long since swept under the rug were now at the forefront of my mind. We'd answered them hesitantly. We believed what we believed and that was that. We'd never be able to explain these adventures to anybody we knew in our normal lives. They would never believe us. And because of that, I felt our close bond become closer throughout our journey.

I tried to forget, honestly. I wanted to forget. But the nightmares didn't let me.

It was dumb to dwell on it now, of all places. I was here, and I had to make do. But now I was standing right next to Garrus, and I could smell him, and it smelled so alien and familiar that if I hadn't been brought to my senses yet, I have now. People said that smell could trigger vivid memories - well, yeah, they were right.

There was definitely an awkwardness between Garrus and I. I wanted to ask him all of these questions - what happened after we were gone? He wasn't too sad, was he? What about Thane, what did he think? I wanted to ask if anybody else saw Shepard cry, because I sure did. When did everybody leave, and who left first? I wanted to tell him that I was sorry about his mother, and that no, I didn't know if his family would make it through the war, but I hoped they would.

Silence, except for the whirr of weapons. Occasionally he would say something, fix my aim, or help me find some blanks for my firearm.

I didn't like this new distance at all. It was crappy. I wanted to be able to stand up and say, "I challenge thee, Garrus Vakarian, to a duel! Muahahahaha!" as I had many times before.

I was surprised that HK was given permission to leave with Jack. They were apparently going to Purgatory. Which, I had to say, was probably a bad idea. The bars on Omega didn't exactly have an age limit, but I was pretty sure that there had to be some kind of age requirement before you walked in. I didn't know what the laws exactly were on the Citadel, but I had to imagine there was a whole agency set up to regulate this type of stuff.

But then again, HK had Jack. Any guy walking around with that tattooed bitch would probably garner a wide berth.

I wondered how that was going.

And then, of course, Sarah was in Huerta Memorial with Kaidan and Thane and apparently Kasumi. She wasn't going to hurt for protection any time soon, but I wanted to go see her. I seemed to be drowning in a sea of awkwardness by staying here on the Normandy. If I could just see or be with one other person that understood where exactly I was coming from, I would be happier with life in general.

_HK and Jack, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G... first comes sex, then comes marriage, then comes more sex and babies with tattoos yelling I WILL DESTROY YOU..._

"Here," Garrus was saying to me, snapping me out of my thoughts and back to the present. "This is the last rifle we have that Shepard wants you to familiarize yourself with. Though I'm sure that we'll pick up others along the way as well." He handed the weapon to me and I held it in my hands, getting used to the weight of it.

I knew for a fact that what he was saying was true. We'd get opportunities to pick up new weapons, mods, and other kinds of things as we visited more places. Handling a gun was a lot different than pressing an Xbox controller at home to shoot enemies, but HK and I had always done fairly well.

What bothered me was the distant look in Garrus's eyes, and the reserved tone of voice. The crew just wasn't as friendly toward us as they used to be. I couldn't help but wonder if they were antagonized by our presence, especially since we'd told EDI everything, but no one else. James Vega didn't like us, Shepard only seemed to trust us a little now, and everyone else kept giving us funny stares whenever I walked by.

Maybe that was because we weren't supposed to be here, not really. It didn't make as much difference amongst the Cerberus crew, because they were already prepared for anything, and they seemed more... laid back, and willing to accept strange new anomalies. But this was now an Alliance ship with a full Alliance crew. If you didn't have your military training and an official transfer from Alliance Command, you had no business being there.

Only Shepard had the authority to put us there, as the commanding officer and especially as a Spectre. No one would question her, and no one would question this mission-except for someone like James. I shuddered slightly when I saw him in my minds' eye, looking at me and HK with disapproval entrenched on his features.

Garrus and I continued to work, as he matter-of-factly told me the basics about this new rifle, and then pointed a single talon toward the target. I raised the rifle and put my eye to the scope, getting ready to fire-

And then I missed entirely. Even though the sound of the rifle firing must have sounded off in my ear, I didn't even hear it. My eyes went wide, and I suddenly found myself seeing something very, very far away...

"_SO BE IT."_ Death – death everywhere. The combined forces of the entire galaxy kept up a valiant defense, but eventually failed. World after world was taken. Shepard succumbed to her wounds. Sightless eyes remained fixated on Earth, and then Liara's voice echoed sadly in the background.

She sacrificed herself in a blossom of green energy, her skin flaking off like green rose petals. An intense blue light drained the life out of her, but her consciousness lived on. An explosion – hope. Maybe.

And then a whole lot of questions.

These images swirled around in my mind for a full minute, and I only realized that I had dropped the gun with it hit my foot and clattered on the floor. This was when I felt Garrus grabbing my shoulders, shaking me a little.

"Abby?" he said firmly, his eyes filled with concern. "Abby, can you hear me? Are you alright?"

_"...I love you, too."_

_"Get out of here!"_

I realized that I must have looked like I was having a stroke. I forced myself back to the here and now, reluctantly pushing the memories of my other self into the background. I would have time to review that later, but I already knew what it was. And the implications...

"Good," I said, nodding. "I'm good."

I could feel Garrus's concern, and knew I needed to address it. I must have blacked out or... something. Things had never been that intense before, nor came in so fast. Why now?

"What just happened?" Garrus asked quietly.

"Nothing bad. I just... understand...now." I knew that sounded bad, and that I needed to explain. I picked up the weapon at my feet, feeling dumb for dropping it. That was a noobish move on my part. "Wow, that was a head rush. That's never happened that strongly before. It wasn't anything groundbreaking - nothing I didn't already know. It'll be okay."

I wanted to redirect the subject, but knew that Garrus wouldn't let me. So I didn't even try.

"Shepard needs to know about it, whatever it is," Garrus said. "Hell, I want to know about it. I'm tired of these games. My world is at stake."

"And so is mine," I said, though that wasn't technically true. "And if we don't do things right, none of us will have a place to call home anymore. I want you to trust me. I - I know that it's hard. Okay? I wouldn't trust me, either."

"Are we actually going to save the galaxy, or are we just going to make a bang big enough for the next civilization to get the gist?" Garrus snapped. "Is that what the plan is? Because I think it is."

"No, that's not the plan," I said, shaking my head.

The way he was standing, the way his eyes were narrowed, the dislike I felt... I wanted to apologize. But I'd grown up a lot in this world, and I wasn't about to let Garrus Vakarian intimidate me like that. I couldn't bow down and ask for sympathy. I had to face it. "People are dying by the millions," Garrus said in a low voice.

"They are," I acknowledged. "People we know have joined them. And we're going to avenge them. Whatever happens, I promise that we'll take out the Reapers. Either way this goes. We will all play a part, and we'll get Commander Shepard to the end. And she'll take care of the rest. And we might even die."

"It's not the dying I care about."

"I know," I said sadly. "The stakes have gotten higher, haven't they?"

"Too high. I want them dead. I want to deliver the killing shot." He looked away, shaking his head. "That's Shepard. Somehow, I figured it always would be."

"It's her story," I said quietly. "She should end it."

"And when the dust settles... what then?"

I had to think about that one. "That's up to you. To everyone. We're not just fighting against the Reapers - we're fighting for the freedom to live the way we want to, outside of any predetermined path. Sovereign made a mistake when he attacked Eden Prime. Because of that, we're here now. And we have a chance. And I won't let us waste that chance. I promise that I'll help in any way I can. And, if some day, that means I have to tell you everything, I swear to God I will. You're my friend, and I would gladly give my life for you again and again without fail. You've saved me more times than you should have. I owe everyone on this ship a debt I can only repay by helping you fight the Reapers. And I'll do that."

It just came out of me, but I felt as though that was the right thing to say, whether he wanted to hear it or not.

He gave me a strange look, nodded sharply, and then took the weapon from my hands. "If you drop this again," he said seriously, "I'm giving you a paintball gun."


	14. Chapter 14

**(Abby)**

"Abby," EDI's voice said to me after I left the cargo area, "Sarah is in the medical bay and she wishes to see you."

Garrus and I were in the elevator together. I glanced at him out of reflex, but he was still and silent. Whatever thoughts he had were his own.

"Thank you, EDI," I said.

The ride was relatively short, and I was thankful that the tension between Garrus and I had seemed to dissipate a little bit. I didn't think that he trusted me fully yet, but it was a start. When the door opened, we both stepped out in unison and turned to the left. "Thank you for helping me out again," I said. "I always enjoy working with you."

"Yeah, no problem," he said. "I'll be in the mess if you need me."

I figured that he was probably under orders to watch me. And, looking into the medical bay, I noticed that Doctor Chakwas wasn't in there. He was probably pulling a double-duty, it seemed. Though I wondered where Chakwas was, because leaving Sarah alone in the medical bay seemed like some kind of security risk or something. Wasn't that why Garrus decided to show me the weapons while Shepard was away?

Weapons that had been locked in a shelf bolted against the wall. Once they had been within easy reach, or if they hadn't, I knew the codes. But now I knew that I probably wouldn't be getting a code any time soon to the cache.

We were security risks.

I was a little nervous about seeing Sarah, too. It wasn't so much seeing her as it was seeing her without two vital limbs. I'd heard of people use the expression "as if they'd lost an arm, or a leg" before, but never really thought about the significance. To take away something like that... part of me wondered if that was in some way losing a part of your humanity. You've become the disabled race, and nothing would be the same.

In this day and age, prosthetics would of course be available. Hell, Sarah might already have one. Shepard hadn't mentioned anything about it, and I'd been a little hesitant to ask - merely speculated with HK. HK, who wasn't here right now because he was probably off doing -

_La la la la la._

But still, prosthetics were something that was new to me. The men and women I'd seen with them were usually veterans, though at least one person I knew had lost their leg to complications that came with chain smoking. They limped. Were extra careful. Lamented in private about their disability.

A broken arm can be fixed within months. But this never could be.

And then the phantom pain. I remembered reading about that once. How patients with missing limbs would feel an ache where their hand or their foot was supposed to be. How creeped out they were. And it was all mental. Painkillers wouldn't cut it.

All of this was going through my mind - had been going through, actually, since our conversation with Shepard - as I approached the door. The cool metal, the faint smell of antiseptic...

Memories of coming here on a stretcher, unable the breathe, literally drowning in my own blood. Ken on my left, Gabby on my right, Jacob and Zaeed disappearing, Shepard's voice, and then Chakwas's face, and Chakwas's instruments.

And Chakwas giving up on me to save Mordin's life.

I _hated_ this place with a passion. My heart beat nervously in my chest, and not just because I was about to reunite with my maimed best friend.

I swallowed the fight-or-flight response and walked through the door. The bright florescent lights reflected off of the white bed sheets. I half-expected to see blood on my bed. I'd always think of it as my bed, my spot.

My eyes found Sarah, who was turned over on her side and facing away from the door. The turian was on the other side. Another addition to the Normandy crew I hadn't been expecting. He was reading something on a datapad. They both looked up when I entered.

My eyes focused automatically on Sarah's body, trying to find out which limbs she'd lost. But a blanket covered her, and it was hard to tell. "I'm _baaaaa-aaaack_," I said in a sing-song voice, trying to appear positive.

Sarah smiled at me. She had a self-conscious look about her, almost nervous. "Hiya," she said. "Um... long time no see." Her eyes darted around the room briefly. Again she seemed... nervous. She had a look about her that seemed haunted, as if she was afraid that Reaper husks, or something else, might come through the door and get her.

It made me wonder if she was suffering from borderline PTSD.

The turian on the other bed seemed to regard both of us for a moment. His mandibles twitched, almost as if trying to decide whether he should say anything. Instead, he simply went back to reading his datapad. Apparently he'd decided that Sarah and I needed some space, and he would stay silent unless directly addressed. Perhaps that was part of his military training, or etiquette, as well.

I sat down on a bed next to her, feeling nauseous. I wouldn't be able to do this for long. "Yeah," I said. "I hear you popped up on Palaven's moon."

She blinked, as if a little unsure about that particular phrase and its meaning. But she seemed to get the gist of it; she nodded a little. "Yeah... I remember someone talking, and they had to amputate my arm. Then me and Irren-" she indicated the turian on the other bed with a tip of her chin, "ended up on the Citadel. And well..." Her voice dropped to a near whisper. "Things just... kinda snowballed from there." She swallowed, and seemed to almost shudder inwardly.

"Tell me about it," I said, bringing my knees up to my chin. "If you'd like to."

She seemed to consider it. "Not really," she finally said. "I'd rather not think about it. I know that Kasumi was... pretty ticked off though. I'm not sure but I think I scared her half to death when I went to... Jona Sederis." She licked her lips nervously. "I think she really didn't want to see me die again, and she didn't want me causing any more trouble." She got an odd look in her eye, and I knew that this was a weird thing to talk about. Dying, and then coming back to this universe for another round. It was something I could identify with.

And it wasn't something we needed to talk about in front of the random turian I knew absolutely nothing about.

"Right," I said. "Okay, well... Huh. What you did sped things up, I guess. Want to hear about HK and I? Take your mind off of things."

She seemed to perk up a little at the change of subject, though her face fell slightly when she remembered she couldn't move one of her arms. It looked like she was trying to move her hands to fold them atop her stomach, but quickly abandoned the effort. At least that told me which arm she'd lost; it was the left arm.

"Yeah," she said. "What have you guys been up to?" She chuckled just a little-a humorless, breathless sound. "I bet you're still Shepard's favorite," she added, with just a touch of resentment.

I raised both eyebrows, a little surprised. But quickly brushed that aside. What was between her and Shepard was their business. "Not much," I said, deflecting that. "I was on Earth a little bit before the Reapers showed up. I kind of concocted a story that I was Commander Shepard's niece and my parents died on Eden Prime. I was able to get in contact with Anderson, who sent me to the Normandy. We picked her up from there. When we brought Kaidan to Huerta Memorial, she met up with HK there and brought him back. Apparently he scared the hell out of Doctor Chakwas. Things are _tense_ here - things aren't like how we left them."

Sarah actually snickered a little when I mentioned the part about Chakwas being scared at seeing HK, but she quickly resumed a more somber expression; it had amused her, but she remembered that this was a real situation with real people, and real feelings. It wasn't a video game on a screen anymore.

"I kind of wonder why each of us ended up in different places," she said thoughtfully. Then her eyes went wide and her mouth dropped open in a small gasp, as if she'd just realized something. "Oh my gosh," she exclaimed. "The new vision! Did you see it? Everything with Shepard controlling the Reapers, or EDI becoming truly alive, or-"

I shushed her before she could blurt out much more than that. She fell silent, clamping her right hand over her mouth. Everything about her expression said _'Oops, sorry'_.

I glanced at Irren. He had set down the datapad and was staring at us. After a moment he blinked a couple of times, shook his head, and went back to reading his datapad. At least he still wasn't saying anything.

"To answer your question, _yes,_ I did," I said, trying to keep a calm, even tone in my voice. "It was interesting."

'Interesting' was my word for anything the negated further conversation. That dead bird in the driveway could be considered 'interesting.' My colored pencils had an 'interesting' effect on the toned paper. But usually when I said 'interesting,' at least in real life, I didn't want to talk about things any more.

"I want to see what happens," I said.

Sarah was staring at Irren, almost as if wishing that she could ask him to excuse us. She then glanced down at her legs, frowning, as if wishing that she could will them to move.

She gestured to me to lean closer to her, and I did. When I was close enough, she moved her face as close as she could toward my ear and whispered, "I wanna walk someplace private. Do you think you can help me... get out of here?"

I pursed my lips and thought about it. Yes, I could help her out... but there would be no private place for us to talk. When we were with Cerberus, we were working with a skilled skeleton crew, so sometimes rooms were empty. But now that we were with Alliance, there were more people than I was used to. Almost every room would be filled up. And with EDI...

"I think... that Chakwas should be asked first," I said quietly. "I'm really sorry."

Sarah frowned, but seemed to accept the answer. "Yeah, well... I guess I've done enough hospital escapes for the time-being," she said, a bit more soberly.

She cleared her throat, and then pressed on with the other conversation I'd tried to drop. "But hey... which decision should Shepard choose?" she pressed. "You know... um... blue, green, or red? Or refuse?" I remembered that she had no idea that we'd already told EDI most of this stuff, prior to the visions we'd all had a few hours ago.

"I don't know yet," I said with a grimace. "All of them are good and bad. But I nix refusing the deal. That just won't work for me. I'm still thinking about everything. I think we all need to get together and discuss it at some point in the near future. Also... HK and I told EDI everything we know. In case something happens again."

Sarah looked surprised. "You told EDI everything?" she said, sounding surprised-and a little nervous. "But what if EDI tells Shepard everything? What if it messes everything up?"

"I know," I said, nodding. "But it seemed like something we needed to do. She's the only one here that seems to trust us unequivocally. And we trust her. And... it's time to let Shepard be the Commander that she needs to be to win this war. There's no guarantee that we'll all come out of this alive, and if we don't, EDI is our backup. And she will remember everything. Not in the detail that Samara did, but it'll work."

I'd told HK and Sarah about my deal with Samara back in the real world. They'd both agreed with it.

Sarah seemed to mull it over in her mind, and then she gave a little nod. "Yeah, well... I guess it makes sense," she said. She suddenly looked tired, as if all of this was already taking a huge toll on her. And we were nowhere near finished with this war yet.

She sighed and settled back against her bed. "I guess I'm gonna be stuck in here for a while, until I learn how to use these new limbs," she commented. "Serves me right for being stupid, I guess-at least, when it comes to my leg."

"It'll take time," I said, wincing in sympathy. "I'm so sorry that happened. I wouldn't wish that on anybody. But Doctor Chakwas can help, and I'll try, too. I'll have her show me some of the physical therapy things, and I'll help get you on track, too. Maybe we could do the sessions where Samara used to stay. Get you out of here."

"If nothing else, I'd welcome a change of scenery from time to time," Sarah said thoughtfully. "Anyway..." She glanced around again, as if wanting to make sure no one was paying attention-Irren still had his nose buried in his datapad, though it looked as if he was purposely trying to look busy now instead of casually reading it for himself-and then she looked at me again.

"I really, really want to talk about the... ways this war can end," Sarah said to me.

At that, Irren didn't even try to look busy anymore. He set the datapad aside. "Do you two know something about how we can end this war?" he asked.

_Naaaaaah._

I shrugged and didn't look at him. That seemed like the only appropriate response.

"EDI," Sarah spoke up, as if trying to get all of us off of that current subject, "when will Dr. Chakwas be back?"

Irren narrowed his eyes fractionally. He opened his mouth and then closed it, but ended up saying nothing.

"I'm afraid I don't have that information," EDI supplied.

Sarah glanced toward the ceiling with a frown. "Why not?" she asked. "Is Chakwas out to lunch or something?"

"We're not telling you when she gets back," Joker said dryly.

If anything, Sarah simply looked miffed. "Why not?" she repeated, almost sounding like a six-year-old asking why she couldn't have a cookie before dinner.

"Security," Joker said. "But please, continue with your little chat. It's flipping fascinating."

Sarah pursed her lips. "Oh yeah, I forgot that Big Brother and Big Sister are always watching," she grumped, rolling her eyes dramatically.

I shrugged, grimacing. "That's the other part. Some people think we're Cerberus spies and won't budge because _they're_ _obstinate jerks_."

No answer. I snorted.

Sarah glanced toward the ceiling, as if searching for the hidden cameras. She then looked straight at me and said rather pointedly, "Wow, I thought you and Joker used to be friends. I guess dying can change a lot-unless it's Shepard." She draped her right arm over her chest. If she was able to use both arms, I think she might have folded them across her chest.

"Burn," I said, grinning at her approvingly.

"Besides," Sarah then said, raising her voice as if she wanted everyone to hear her-as if EDI and Joker couldn't hear well enough already, "I haven't decided yet if I'm even staying on the Normandy this time around." She may have meant it as a petty jibe in their direction, but the words still took me off-guard.

As if noticing my expression, she looked apologetic. "Just being honest," she finally said.

"This is the safest place in the galaxy right now," I said. "Unless you're thinking about... going back home."

Sarah opened her mouth, and then closed it. "Yeah well, there's only one way to go back home," she said. "I'd rather not... resort to that." She gulped, and shuddered slightly at the thought. All of us knew what it felt like to die, thanks to the last crazy adventure in this universe. She didn't want to go through that again.

"If you go back to Earth," Irren chimed in, "you'd face the same dangers I would in going back to Palaven. I don't see how that is any safer."

Sarah frowned at him, but said nothing. We both knew that he didn't get it, and he wouldn't understand any better if we tried to explain.

"It wouldn't be," I agreed, more for his benefit than ours.

"Well," Sarah said, as if trying to change the subject... again, "anything else we should talk about?"

I had to resist the urge to roll my eyes. A conversation was a two-way street, not a checklist of topics to discuss - unless you were Sensei. Then you better be writing notes.

"Nothing of major importance," I said. "You know HK's off the ship right now, right?"

"Oh yeah," Sarah said with a nod. "Last I talked to him he was still on the Citadel... in Purgatory, I think. At least, that's what it sounded like from all of the loud music."

"Yeah, Jack took him out on a date. I think." _Or a date-rape_. "Just making sure you knew. He'll be back soon, I think. And Shepard must have brought you here, so... do you know if she's still here, or if she went back to the Citadel?"

"Yeah, she brought me as far as the airlock or so," Sarah confirmed. "And... I don't know where she is now. All I know is that she handed me off to EDI, literally. And EDI carried me here, where I've been ever since."

"I bet she went back," I guessed. "There's a lot of stuff that still needs doing. I hope she visits Kaidan. Did you see him at all while you were there?"

"Nope," Sarah with a frown. "But I know Thane did... Kasumi might have as well." She sighed a little. "I wonder how the rest of this is going to play out," she mused thoughtfully. "I mean... are we gonna die again? Are we really going to stop the Reapers?"

I thought I heard Irren snort a little from his bed.

"I think a lot of people are asking themselves that question," I said diplomatically.

* * *

><p>"Have a lot of friends that get you in trouble, Amelia. I want to be entertained when you're on leave."<p>

**- Brian Shepard**

Shepard didn't get far.

As soon as she stepped off of the ship, a slight figure dressed in black appeared in front of her, arms crossed. "Good," Kasumi said bluntly. "She'll be safer there. Thanks for taking her out of here."

"Not a problem," Shepard said, wondering just how big a problem it really would be. "What are you up to now?"

"Demanding compensation. Inviting you to dinner. Then I'm probably going to go kill people. No rest for the weary."

"You live a pretty eventful life," Shepard said. "How much do I owe you?"

"I sent an invoice to EDI. The check's payable to Cassandra Summers. She lives in Teyseri Ward. Alone, pity, but she has a cat and she's great with children. Spotless record. The perfect babysitter."

"I think I can allocate some money to her," Shepard said. She chuckled. "It'd sure be nice to have you back, Kasumi. We need you."

"Maybe if the old crew were back," Kasumi said. "Sorry, Shep, but I have things to do here, too. You're not the only person out there trying to kick ass, you know."

"I kind of missed you sneaking behind things and frying them," Shepard said.

"I know," Kasumi said gently. "And, actually, I'm flattered you'd ask me again. We make a good team, Shepard. So, we're going to dinner. You're my date. Wear something nice."

Shepard blinked. Something about the way her lips quirked upwards at the thought made a silent bell go off in the back of her head. She felt she needed some clarification. "Define 'date.'"

"Oh, you didn't know, Shepard?" Kasumi asked innocently. "We've been together eight months now. In fact, we're coming up on our nine-month anniversary."

"We have?" Definitely seven.

"Yes. And tonight, you're finally going to pop the question." Kasumi rummaged around in one of her inside pockets and procured a silver ring studded with diamonds and rubies. "Isn't it gorgeous? You have great taste."

Shepard frowned, and reluctantly took the ring. "You're not joking, are you?"

"Nope. You don't have to kiss me, though. We're a conservative couple."

"Okay, I really have no idea what's going on right now."

"Meet me at Le Chateau Fleur De Resturante with that ring," Kasumi said. "If you don't have a little black dress, I'll send you a link to some good stores that carry your size. B-cup, right?" Kasumi gave her breasts a concerned stare. "Get a push-up bra," she decided. "One-inch heels. And maybe some of that tape-on manicure stuff to put on your nails. Put your hair up. A half up-do."

"Whoa, whoa, this is going a bit fast," Shepard said.

Kasumi sighed. "Really, Shep, we're coming up on our anniversary and now you think this is going too fast? You're a horrible liar. Meet me at the restaurant at 1900 hours. The reservation is under Lacy Daniels."

"I'll go with it," Shepard said. "But why me? Don't you have any other friends in the Citadel you can drag into your bisexual schemes?"

"It's lesbian, dear," Kasumi said. "And none that I'm comfortable doing this with. Remember: Le Chateau Fleur De Resturante at 1900 hours. Lacy Daniels. Order some wine. I'll even ship a black dress to the ship for you. You're on your own with the shoes, I can't baby you."

"Really? I thought you were the _babysitter_."

"No, I'm your fiancée. Tootles."

Without another word, Kasumi vanished into a flicker of light. Shepard stared at the space where she had been a moment ago, then shook her head and pressed on. She walked through the other airlock dock door, knowing that the stealthy ninja slipped out at that instant. Shepard wouldn't be seeing her again until later, and their... date.

Amelia shook her head a little and moved on. She walked straight ahead, keeping her eyes peeled for potential danger, and for someone who said that she would meet her in this general area. Sure enough, after she walked a few meters to the end of the walkway, she noticed a familiar black-haired figure.

"Shepard, there are you," the thick, Australian accent greeted her. "There you are." Miranda Lawson was leaning against the railing that overlooked the ships beyond the massive window. She still wore that form-fitting white outfit that showed off her perfect, hour-glass figure tastefully. The only thing that was different was that it lacked the Cerberus faction symbol that used to be there.

"Hey, Miranda," Amelia greeted with a nod as she approached the other woman.

"It's been far too long," Miranda acknowledged, turning to face her. "We live in... interesting times."

"A little too interesting," Shepard said.

"I couldn't get anywhere near you when the Alliance had you locked up," Miranda went on, as they started to walk side by side.

"Relieved of duty," Shepard clarified. "It was complicated."

"I'm sure it was. I'm surprised they didn't court-martial you." Miranda sounded slightly amused. "The Alliance isn't known for its flexibility."

"Doesn't matter now."

That caused any humor to be bleached from the conversation. Miranda frowned. "Shepard, about Earth..."

Shepard interrupted her. "Countless people lost their lives within minutes," she said, staring off into space. Everything that happened on that fateful day still haunted her... just like that dream of the child she'd failed to save. "The Reapers are everything we feared."

"They should have listened to you a long time ago," Miranda said, her eyes full of sympathy.

Yes, Shepard thought. They should have. She closed her eyes, trying to control the emotions that threatened to break through to the surface. She had to keep them at bay so that she could stay focused and win this war. She had to.

"I'm sorry, Shepard," Miranda said, placing a gentle hand on the Commander's shoulder. She kept it there for a moment, and then dropped her arm; the moment for empathy and sentiments passed. There was work to be done.

Shepard turned to face Miranda again. Even though she didn't acknowledge the gesture, she appreciated it. "What about you?" Amelia asked. "What brings you here?"

"I need to talk to a few people," Miranda supplied, as they resumed a casual stroll. "Like you. The Citadel is a good place to meet... for now. What's the Alliance's next move?"

"They have a plan. It's a long shot." Shepard figured it was now rather than never. "There was another development."

"Oh?" Miranda asked.

"We have some unexpected visitors on the Normandy."

Miranda merely raised an eyebrow. "Really. Who?"

"Three memories. Abby, HK, and Sarah are back again.

Miranda's eyelids actually flickered in surprise. "What?" she said. The look on her face was the closest that Shepard had ever seen to her jaw nearly falling off her face.

"Yeah," Shepard said, lifting one shoulder in a slight shrug. "I can't explain it, and they aren't saying much to me about it. Nothing that makes sense to me at least. But they're back, and they have... new visions."

"Well, I brought you back," Miranda said, sounding very thoughtful. "At this point, I suppose I can believe almost anything." She frowned, glancing away briefly.

Shepard noticed the look in her eyes. What was that look? Regret, perhaps? What was she thinking? "Something the matter?" she asked.

"It's nothing." Miranda sighed. "I suppose the old me would ask for more details, but I'm at my wit's end. I trust you and... Shepard, there's... something I wanted to mention."

They had stopped walking by this point. "What is it?" Shepard pressed curiously.

Miranda looked weary. "I haven't heard from my sister, Oriana, for a while. I'm getting worried." She moved forward, resuming their casual stroll in the other direction.

"Your sister?" Shepard said, surprised. Perhaps this was something that she would have to press EDI for details on later. It would make things much simpler if EDI, or one of the psychics, could simply tell her what was going on and how this would play out.

"My father never stopped looking for her," Miranda said. "Even when I was working for Cerberus." She paused in her stride, leaning against a railing again. "I used every resource they had to hide her. And I knew he'd find her somehow." Her eyes narrowed. "My father is obsessed. Dangerous." She met Shepard's eyes directly, driving that point home. "I don't want Oriana to suffer like I did."

"What do you need from me?" Shepard asked. And whatever it was, whatever she could do... she would see if she could pry some information out of the kids, or EDI if nothing else. If they wouldn't tell her how to end this war, at least they could tell how to save Miranda's sister.

"I appreciate the offer," Miranda said, "but you have your hands full. If I need a door or two kicked down, I'll know just who the call. But for now, I'll be fine."

In other words, 'You're busy trying to save the galaxy. Let me handle my own personal matters this time.'

"Okay," Shepard said without argument. "I understand." If Miranda said that she could handle matters for now, then the Commander believed her. Miranda was always one step ahead of everyone else-most of the time-and she was very efficient. Even though she would probably need help eventually, right now she didn't.

"I have to figure this out," Miranda stated, basically admitting that she didn't know much at the moment anyway.

"You will," Shepard said in a confident, reassuring tone. And then she moved onto other topics. "Have you had any run-ins with the Illusive Man?"

"Just once. He said that it had been a pleasure to work with me, but he needed to contain the situation."

"Contain the situation," Shepard echoed. "Sounds final."

"It nearly was," Miranda agreed. "The Illusive Man does not take rejection well."

"No he doesn't," Shepard agreed emphatically. If she had been back on the Normandy during the days when things were less hectic-back when they only had to worry about missing colonies and defeating a Collector base-she might have pressed for more information. Miranda's father, how she cut ties with Cerberus, the works. But both of them had pressing matters to attend to.

"If you happen to get any information regarding Oriana, Commander... I'd appreciate it if you forwarded it my way," Miranda said. "And tell them hello. And that I missed having them with us, despite their psychological problems."

"I will," Shepard promised. "I should get back to it," she said. "Stay in touch, Miranda, and be careful."

Miranda almost smirked. "No promises," she said, walking past Shepard. With that, the dark-haired woman departed.

* * *

><p><strong>(Sarah)<strong>

It was official; when Irren dozed off he slept like a log and made enough noise to sound like a chainsaw was cutting through the said log. Thankfully the snoring subsided when he rolled over onto his side; yet he remained asleep.

I was bored. Very, very bored. Dr. Chakwas had done several hours of physical therapy with me, yet I felt like it was getting nowhere. I was still learning how to use my new implants and focus on moving my prosthetic arm and leg, yet... I could still barely move my fingers and toes. At times, I could only get them to twitch.

Dr. Chakwas said I would master the new limbs in time, but it didn't make things any less frustrating. I wanted to be able to get up and walk again, damnit!

Now Chakwas was getting some rest, or doing whatever it was she did during her off hours. She probably had to sleep sometime. And I was stuck in the medical bay with the lights dimmed, and a sleeping turian on the next bed beside me.

I decided I would call someone and chat. I just didn't feel like sleeping. "EDI?" I asked.

"Yes, Sarah?" the familiar voice acknowledged.

"Could you patch me through to Liara? See if she's available to talk, please?" I asked.

"One moment."

A few seconds passed, before I heard Liara's voice sound over the comm. "Hello?" she greeted.

I smiled, and I tried to keep my voice low enough so that I wouldn't wake Irren, yet loud enough so that the asari didn't have to strain to hear me. "Hi again," I said, briefly thinking about how I'd met the awesome asari woman back on Menae, ever so briefly. "I hope I'm not bugging you or anything, I just... well, I'm bored. I was wondering if we could talk about something."

"I am a bit busy... however, I suppose I could take a break. I have yet to really speak to you," Liara replied, sounding like her usual self; fairly friendly, yet also very...official, almost, but in her own, Liara way. "Is there anything specific you wished to discuss?"

I tried to think of something to say. In some ways... I supposed that Liara was sort of the one person out of everyone who knew how I might feel sometimes, having a lot of knowledge at her fingertips. Only her information was gathered through agents, spy equipment, and possibly other methods of gaining intel. Me? Well, HK, Abby and I only knew what we knew because we'd played those video games called Mass Effect, and someone ended up in the same universe-possibly in an alternate dimension.

I decided to pick a very random topic. "I had a very strange dream when I last fell asleep," I said with a little shrug. "Wanna hear about it?"

"Dreams are a very interesting part of the mind. I would be interested, yes," Liara answered.

"Well," I began, "I had this weird dream where I was back home, in my town on Earth, just going for a walk like I usually do from time to time. Then I passed by this building that... um, I'm not sure what it was, I think it was a club or something for gays and lesbians. I'm not sure what they did in there; I guess it was a place where they could be among their own orientation, or something."

I paused, letting that sink in, and then I continued. "Outside of this building, there was a metal pole-sort of like a street light, but not really-that had a bowl-shaped thing attached to it, where people put donations. I was out of money, so I slipped my hand into it and pulled out two d-credits," I corrected, remembering that people didn't use "dollars" in this universe. "I figured no one would notice, I guess. Then I walked away, and a police car immediately pulled up.

"Then," I went on, "he said that he saw what I did, and he needed to take me to the police station. I went with him, and I apologized profusely and I said it would never happen again. He said that it was no big deal, and shrugged nonchalantly. And then he let me go, and I thought that was the end of it.

"However," I continued, "two days later, he apparently picked up my parents, for some reason, off of the street and gave them hell about the incident. He nearly arrested them over it, and then they were angry at me because all of this happened-mainly me stealing, I guess."

I stopped talking, licking my lips. "Any idea what all that might mean?" I asked, almost playfully. I just wondered what she might say about all of that.

"Well, I am no dream interpreter, but I can only hope that this dream of yours implies that the galaxy will survive this war, and you will be able to walk around your planet again," Liara answered, almost sounding thoughtful, yet also sounding hesitant and a little confused. "Though, considering the use of cars in the dream, I seem to doubt that."

I decided to drop the subject. She didn't know anything about where I really came from, after all. "So," I said, steering the conversation in another direction, "you're the Shadow Broker, and you have a lot of information on a lot of people. Do you know anything at all about me and my friends? Where we come from, how we came back from the dead, or... anything?" I was largely curious, and I wanted to see if she had any theories or speculations.

Silence. Then: "I'll admit that my records aren't as revealing as I wish them to be."

In spite of myself, I felt myself grinning. In my own way, I loved attention and I enjoyed the idea of being a mystery to the Shadow Broker (the previous one, and the current one) even more. Would it make her day if I filled in a few details, maybe told her a little about myself? Then again, that also seemed rather egotistical of me.

Still, I could tell her something and see how she took it, right?

"Well, I don't want to talk too much about my personal life," I began quietly. "You never know what kind of creep might try to use that information-no offense, I don't mean you or anything. But anyway..."

I hesitated, trying to decide what exactly I wanted to say. "Well, I'm from the United States," I said, carefully leaving out which state I was from. "When I'm not here taking part in this crazy war on this ship or wherever else, I live a very quiet life at home with my brother and my parents." I didn't add the fact that I was still there, in a way; I still received a distant stream of thoughts and feelings from that other life, sometimes more than others. "I have several pets, and I have a part-time job at a local business. It keeps me busy, and I enjoy it for the most part."

"Oh?" she asked coolly. "And how does one go from such a simple existence to serving on the most advanced warship in the Alliance fleet?"

Okay, that was a rather... awkward question to answer. Somehow I had expected Liara to be a little more... friendly. But really, could I blame her? Especially since we were kind of weird, and... we couldn't even explain much. To someone as intelligent as Liara, that probably seemed rather suspicious and odd.

Well, just another person to add to the list of people who didn't like me, right?

"I guess it's complicated," I finally said with a little shrug. "But hey, have you found anything at all on me, or my family? Anything?" I was a little curious, even if I was pushing in an area I shouldn't have been pushing in.

"I've done some searches," Liara admitted. "But you haven't made it easy. No DNA on record, no job history, dental records. Few people have never existed like you three. But you knew that. In fact, the only record I have of your existence is the one published to Huerta Memorial's database. And the one in C-Sec's archives, of course."

"So... based on what I told you, and that last name I put down, got any new intel on me?" I knew I was playing games with her, because that would probably lead her to nothing. Still, I had nothing better to do, and I was enjoying it.

"I think I have already answered your question."

Before I could reply at all, though, EDI jumped in. "Sarah's accent suggests that she was either born or has lived for a long time in the New England area of the United States."

"Yes. Thank you, EDI."

"I have an accent?" I said, blinking and pretending to be ignorant of the fact.

"Yes; a regional accent normally constrained to the northeastern part of the continent," EDI explained to me.

"Human accents can still be confusing to me, even after interacting with so many," Liara said. "Hmm, yes, Sarah, perhaps now I have finally found something."

I felt both intrigued and scared at the same time. I felt my throat constrict-did I really exist here somehow, as another person? Had she really found something, or was it simply a red herring? "What is it?" I asked very tentatively.

"A woman from New York named Sarah Sinclair. It is an...interesting profile. She works at a local store selling pets, such as electronic dogs or...varren."

I chuckled a little at that mental image, relieved that she hadn't really found anything about me. "Anything on this person's family?" I asked lightly.

"She has one brother and five sisters, two parents of course, and ten children."

"Then that is definitely not me," I laughed, waving my good hand through the air dismissively. "Do you think I'd have time to follow Garrus around last time I was here if I was married and had that many kids?"

"She has no marriage record, and does not have custody of any of her children," Liara responded, as if trying to say that it could still have been possible. "However, it is peculiar that there are no other Sarah Sinclairs in this general vicinity. You remain a mystery."

"EDI, if you could," I said, raising my voice a little, "could you run a scan on me? Do I read like someone who's had ten kids?" I felt a little... indignant at the very implication of this. And I thought I'd heard that women who'd had kids had something... different about them. Like... there were signs somehow, though I wasn't sure what they were. And this was a futuristic medical bay; surely they could tell if I'd ever had babies or not.

There was a brief pause, before EDI answered. "There is no need. Doctor Michel forwarded the relevant files to the Normandy earlier on. She has never been pregnant, nor has she ever gone through childbirth," she told Liara. "And the possibility is highly unlikely. She is a suspected lesbian. That was a joke."

"Thank you, EDI," I said in a mixture of gratitude and annoyance. "Now please shut up."

"Ahh, yes, Sarah, there was something that I found pertaining to you not too long ago at the Citadel," Liara interrupted, seemingly changing the subject back to what it once was. I couldn't complain. "It did not involve your last name, but I managed to find it through my sources. There is a store dedicated in your honor."

I blinked several times. "Huh, really?" I said dully. "What kind of store? What does it have to do with me?"

"A myriad of things. Apparently you helped...fund the store. A krogan named Ratch, from Tuchanka, started it not too long ago; it has become quite the emporium. He both complements you and insults you when explaining how it came to be," Liara explained.

"Oh my gosh," I gushed. That memory brought forth a great deal of embarrassment and nostalgia. "What... specifically did he say about me?" I asked. I probably shouldn't have asked, but I did anyway. My curiosity got the better of me.

"Once business began increasing, he was interviewed by Emily Wong of Citadel News Net. There was not a store of quite that...type on the Citadel before; his store is geared toward krogan. He explained that there was a human janitor that he knew on Tuchanka that could not fight and helped destroy his business, but then generously donated so that he could start a new business elsewhere. He says that you were at least good for something and that he wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you, and that he hopes you are out there somewhere, dying miserably."

I chewed on that for a few seconds. "EDI?" I said.

She responded immediately. "Yes, Sarah?"

"Could you... compose a message for me, to send to Ratch?" I might have done this myself, but well... I was unable to get up or use one of my arms at the moment. "Tell him I got my throat ripped out by a husk spider, and then I nearly did die a miserable death at the hands of Jona Sederis. And tell him thanks for nothing."

"Yes, Sarah. Sending now," EDI simply responded.

"Let me know if and when there's a response, please," I requested, and then I turned my attention back to Liara before the AI could respond. "So, Liara... I hope you plan to talk to your dad. You'll both get a lot out of it if you talk, I promise." I knew that she had some... hesitancy about talking to her dad in the game. I wasn't sure if my words meant anything to her like Shepard's would, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to say it.

"I'll keep that in mind," she said. If it were possible, she sounded even more distant.

"I'm sorry," I said, feeling that I overstepped my bounds. Part of me also wondered if it stung, at least a bit, for me to know things about her life and her family when she couldn't even figure out where I came from or where my family was. "I'll let you get back to work now," I told her. "Thank you for talking to me."

"Any time," Liara said.

I nodded a little, although I knew she couldn't see me. "Bye," I said simply, and then let the connection close.

I decided that that was enough talking for now. I nearly dozed off, but then EDI snapped my attention back to full awareness, when she told me that Ratch had replied to my message.

"Oh yeah?" I said. "What'd he say?"

"Well damn, you're still alive. Dunno if I'm happy or sad about that, but it's nice to hear that you've endured some pain, and I saw the thing with that crazy asari on the news. I'm going to enjoy watching that a looong time, believe me. But, I gotta say, without you, I wouldn't have the business that I have. My place is booming, especially in war time, and I owe it to you. So thanks for all that stupidity you got me into on Tuchanka. But otherwise, yeah, enjoy life, legless human. Don't drop by my store."

I settled back against the bed, allowing my eyes to drift shut. Well, you couldn't be liked by everybody. "Thanks EDI," I murmured before drifting off.


	15. Chapter 15

"I like being undercover. Living another life is exciting, and digging up other people's filthy little secrets is its own reward. It's invigorating. And sometimes, when you're under so deep, you can forget your problems and just have some _fun_ with it."

-**Gianna Parasini**

Shepard tried to get out of the taxi cab in a way that wouldn't flash the nice man opening her door.

She'd tried to follow Kasumi's orders to the letter, and had succeeded in the most part. She'd gotten the dress only an hour later on the ship, found a pair of sensible one-inch flats on the way back, and had borrowed Traynor's push-up bra for the occasion. She did her hair herself, borrowing the yeoman's hair clips to pull half of it behind her ear in what she hoped was a classy half-do. The only thing she didn't do were her nails. She knew what Kasumi was talking about and, having tried the sticker-like designs in high school, knew the trouble of putting them on and taking them off, so she didn't even bother with it.

And then she had to sneak off of the ship.

There wasn't much sneaking involved, though. There was no hiding from the stares as she walked down the command bridge and passed Joker on her way out.

Joker hadn't been merciful.

To make matters worse, she ran into James as she exited the airlock. They locked eyes for what felt to be the longest time. The larger, muscled man looked her up and down and gave a grunt. Of approval? She didn't know.

"If all my COs dressed like you, I'd be discharged for sexual harassment," he said bluntly.

"Very funny."

"Smoking."

"Laugh it up."

"Where's the party, ma'am? Can I be your escort? I think I brought my tux."

"I'm backup for a friend," Shepard stated, clutching her purse closer to her. "That's all. It isn't for pleasure."

"You have a gun in that thing?" James asked skeptically, peering at the black accessory, which was obviously too small to carry any decent sidearm in the Normandy's arsenal.

"Do I look like I need a gun, Vega?"

"Actually, ma'am, I find it hard to take you seriously with legs like that."

A biotic push knocked him into the wall and out of her way. "Thanks for the input," she said, walking past him.

James whistled as she walked away. She could feel him checking her out until the door closed behind her, and she had to remind herself that his advances were only his way of socializing. There were no intentions there she needed to worry about.

The restaurant was on the Presidium, which Shepard approved of. It was nice, quiet, and the riff-raff would stay out. The only people that went up to the Presidium had business on the Presidium, and she liked that. Le Chateau Fleur was eight stories high and built around an artificial waterfall that fell into a pond teeming with koi fish and water lilies. It was beautiful at night. On each floor was a patio close to the waterfall - Shepard assumed that those seats were more private, and therefore more expensive.

The taxi let her off in the lobby, where she greeted a dapper-looking maitre de and held up two fingers. "Party of two, please. We have reservations under Lacy Daniels."

The maitre de made a show of looking her name up in his book. "Aha," he said with a smile. "There you are. Your date has not arrived yet, but I will let you know when she does."

"That would be great, thanks," she said. She followed him obediently to a nice elevator, which took her up to the sixth floor. He sat her down at a table close to the back.

"What type of beverage can I get for you today?"

Order wine.

"May I see your wine list?"

"Of course." He handed it to her, and she had to fix that smile on her face as she saw the prices. They thought a bit too highly of themselves here. She placed her order - not too expensive, not too cheap - and he took it from her.

Struck by a sudden inspiration, she grabbed his hand as he began to walk away. "I'm sorry," she said, "but I have something private I'd like to discuss."

"Oh?"

"Yes. My... date is on her way. We've been together for quite a while, and I think it's time to take the next step."

He smiled. "Ah, engagement. How sweet. How long have you two been together?"

"Eight months," Shepard admitted. It was seven, damn it. "We're coming up on our ninth. I'd like to propose to her tonight." She took the ring out of her purse and handed it to him to appraise. His eyebrows raised, and he began to gush over the quality of the ring. "Could you, maybe... keep this safe for me?" Shepard asked sweetly. "I'll call for some more wine. Then, could you bring it over, perhaps in the glass itself?"

"And then pour the wine on top and let her find it?" he asked genially.

"Yes," Shepard said, trying to look relieved that he got the gist so quickly. If she was going to propose, she may as well play it up. Besides, she had to show Kasumi that she could still be a team player.

She would at least make the moment memorable.

A piano player in the background provided a sweet harmony, and as Shepard began to drink her wine and look at the menu, she tried to look around a gauge who, exactly, they were going to steal from. Kasumi wouldn't ask her to do anything too morally wrong, so she didn't really care about that part.

Her mother would be appalled. Shepard found that, in that moment, she was really hoping her mom was okay. And she could rest easy knowing that her dad would've gotten a hell load of enjoyment out of this.

Her date arrived fashionably late, escorted by the same maitre de. Shepard found herself staring. Kasumi was dressed in a sparkling royal purple gown that hugged her curves, a white shawl wrapped around her bare, pale arms. For the first time since she'd met her, Kasumi was not covering her head in any way. The purple tattoo on her face was covered (unless it wasn't a tattoo at all) and her long, layered black hair reached all the way down to the ends of her shoulder blades. She looked elegant, refined, sophisticated...

"Sorry I'm late, honey," Kasumi said with a wink of one blue eye. "Thank you, sir."

"My pleasure, Miss Sinclair," he said. "I'll leave you two to decide."

He walked away, and Shepard raised an eyebrow. "Sinclair?"

"I'm just having fun, Lacy."

"You look beautiful," she stated. "We should see you like this more often."

"I figured for this, less is more," she said, raising her wine glass. Her eyes flickered over Shepard's shoulder and settled on her target. "Thanks for the big doe eyes when I walked in, though. That was a good touch."

Shepard didn't bother to mention that they were not doe eyes, she was simply in disbelief. "How was your ride over?"

"Pretty uneventful," Kasumi said. "I poked around in the kitchen a bit, stopped by our place, and changed."

"Were you cooking something?" Shepard asked.

"Of a sort. You'll see. It's a surprise." She winked.

"I turned some heads walking out of the apartment complex," Shepard admitted. "I had to use biotics."

"Lacy, you couldn't shove a snowflake out of your way even if you wanted to," she said. "I refuse to believe you'd ever resort to that. Though you might have to, to rip me off of you when we leave."

Kasumi smiled.

"Well... you know I just can't wait for that moment," Shepard said, wondering if that implied a fight would break out any time soon.

Kasumi laughed and began to dig around in her purse. She pulled out an old-fashioned pen and began to write on the napkin. "I'm getting laid tonight, honey."

She turned the napkin over. It read: Black man, red tie. Bugged him.

"I feel like there's not a lot of give and take in this relationship sometimes," Shepard said. "So if you're getting laid, where does that leave me?"

"You'll get your chance. I believe you went first last week."

"I can't wait," Shepard said, wondering what Jacob would think of all this. Or worse - James. "I suppose we should look at the menu."

"I feel like getting an appetizer first," Kasumi said. "It's not often we spend time in nice places. We should get the max out of it."

"I agree," Shepard said. "Tonight's our night."

"I'll drink to that."

They passed the time with small talk, though Shepard tried to keep it simple. She looked like she was concentrating, and Shepard knew that this wasn't just for fun and games. She dropped her napkin and snuck a look over at the guy Kasumi was talking about. He was at a table with a group of his similarly-dressed friends that looked grumpier than he was. That didn't look like a normal gathering of people.

Shepard flicked her fingers a little, using her biotics to move back the jacket of the one sitting at the far side. The shape of a weapon in his pocket cemented the fact. He adjusted his jacket with a frown and scanned the room. Shepard picked up her napkin and made a show of smoothing it out on her lap.

Five men, possibly armed and dangerous. Three exits as far as she could see. The elevator and two emergency staircases. She'd have to take off her shoes before doing that. She didn't have armor, nor shields. The best way to get out would be under the cover of the crowd. Old fashioned close-quarters combat. A biotic neck-snap.

She didn't only have Kasumi's ring in her purse when she came in. She'd brought a knife Zaeed had gifted to her before his departure. She'd have to be quick and get to them before they knew that she was a threat. That meant that she'd need to act it straight the entire way, from now to the killing blow. She had to look safe. Innocent.

She had no idea what Kasumi was planning, but hoped that it took place after the proposal. If nothing else, Shepard wanted to give her the ring back. She had an inkling that it held some sentimental value, but she wasn't completely sure.

They had polite conversations and descended into dirty banter when they couldn't think of anything else. She wasn't used to playing this role, but felt that she was doing it pretty well. One expensive appetizer and half an entree later, Kasumi kicked her hard under the table.

The men were getting up and leaving.

Shepard raised her eyebrow and Kasumi shook her head ever so slightly, taking a sip of her wine. "Wow, I'm stuffed," she said. "I'll take the rest in a box. Dessert?"

"Did you just say you were stuffed?"

"Damn it, I'm getting dessert."

"That's why I love you," Shepard said, at a loss once again.

They ordered desserts. Shepard smiled at the waiter and said, "Perhaps some more wine as well? Same brand."

He smiled charmingly. "Right away, miss."

Shepard sighed and rolled her shoulders experimentally. She was actually starting to get a little cold, and wished that she had the foresight to bring a shawl like Kasumi did. Kasumi, meanwhile, was twirling one black strand of hair in one finger, looking out at the waterfall carefully. Shepard didn't interrupt. She dropped her fork, looked at the table behind her, and saw the target sitting by himself and talking into his omni-tool.

Suddenly Kasumi laughed.

"What's so funny?" Shepard asked.

"Just remembering that time you clogged up the toilet on Thanksgiving, and the plumber's reaction."

Shepard sighed heavily. "It was your cooking."

"Sure, blame the chef for your digestion problems."

"Seriously? I'm trying to have a romantic dinner with you and you're doing toilet humor? Can't we go back to sex?"

"Sex never gets boring," Kasumi agreed. "But neither does toilet humor."

"You're impossible."

"Isn't that why you love me?"

The waiter came back with the dessert and the wine. "Enjoy," he said with a knowing smile Shepard's way. She returned it with a little less enthusiasm.

Kasumi reached for her wine glass without even looking at it. "I can't eat the dessert. We need another box."

"I'll get that for you."

Kasumi took a large sip of the wine and swallowed loudly. "That's good. I'll have to get some for the house. How's your sister doing, by the way? You mentioned that she had surgery?"

She had to be talking about Sarah. "She's still alive. Under close observation."

"I remember when I used to babysit that little girl," Kasumi said, shaking her head. "I'd regret it, but that's how we met." She sighed heavily, then slammed her wine glass down and looked right into Shepard's eyes. "I can't tell you how much I appreciated that."

"What? Babysitting her, or meeting me?" Shepard asked with a smile.

"Meeting you," Kasumi said. "Sex aside, you're the greatest woman I've ever met. You're funny, kind, sweet... And you're responsible. I love that. Really. You remember the little things. I love that about you. These last nine months have been amazing."

It was seven, damn it. The month they met, plus the six Shepard had spent incarcerated on Earth.

"That's sweet," Shepard said. "Drink your wine, dear. That's an order."

Kasumi raised an eyebrow and drank the rest of it right in front of her. When the ring touched her lips, she paused and looked down. Her eyes widened in shock.

"Surprise," Shepard said softly. She took the ring out of the glass and made a show of wiping it on the napkin - smudging the writing Kasumi had put on it earlier as a result. She stood up and raised her own full wine glass high in the air. "Attention, please," she said loudly. "Attention."

The noise in the restaurant stopped.

"I'd like you all to bear witness to this, please," she asked politely. She dropped to one knee in front of Kasumi and held out the ring.

And froze, a terrible thought coming to her.

She didn't know Kasumi's name.

Shit!

Plan B, then.

"Will you, the most amazing woman in the world, make me, Lacy Daniels, the happiest person on the Citadel?" she asked loudly.

Kasumi made a big show of it, clutching her hands to her chest, her mouth open in an 'O' of surprise. Her eyes sparkled with fake tears. "Oh my God," she bubbled. "Oh my God."

"Honey?" Shepard pushed.

"Of course," Kasumi breathed. "I love you. Of course I will."

Shepard slipped the ring on to her left ring finger and smiled. "Then that is everything I need in life," she said.

She rose to applause from the general audience and a tight hug from Kasumi.

"Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss!" the crowd cheered.

"Erm..."

"Maybe you did that a little too well," Kasumi whispered in her ear.

"Shit. Shit."

"Just close your eyes and think of Jacob, because that's what I'm going to do."

"Sounds good."

They disengaged enough to lock their lips together. Shepard closed her eyes tightly and tried not to think about anybody at all. She could only think about James, and Joker, and Jacob, and Kaidan, and, most horrifically, her parents. She rarely, if ever, stopped to wonder what her parents would think of her. But this would be one such moment.

Neither she nor Kasumi really did anything with the kiss. It was polite, and official, though Kasumi put more into it than Shepard had any business doing.

When they disengaged, Shepard resisted the urge to wipe her mouth off on her sleeve like a child.

They continued to hug, and Kasumi was fake-crying, and the crowd was still cheering. Shepard raised a hand and nodded thankfully to the crowd, and then sat down. And to think she'd once had a problem doing public presentations...

Shepard moved her chair a little closer to Kasumi's, who wrapped her hands in Shepard's. "That was perfect, thank you," Kasumi said, wiping at her eyes. "Beautifully done."

"I figured I could be the romantic one for a change."

"It was a nice change. Beautiful. Perfect."

She gestured the waiter over. He came with a great big smile on his face. Shepard wondered what the smile was for - plastered there to make her feel better, because he was happy about the engagement, or because he got to see some girl-on-girl action in a five-star restaurant?

"Yes, ma'am?"

"A box, please," she said. "For both desserts. And a bottle of that wine. Give a little to everybody, on us. We'll pay the entire rate."

"Of course," he said. "It would be my pleasure. Would that be all?"

"Could you have the front desk bring my car up? We'll be leaving soon."

"As you wish."

Kasumi sighed and squeezed Shepard's hand. "Perfect. Perfect."

"We're leaving soon?" Shepard asked.

"Yes," she said. "Wow, I just... I can't stop crying. I'm sorry. I need to go to the bathroom. I love you. I'll be right back."

"Take your time," Shepard said, grateful that they were finally getting down to business.

As she waited, people came over to congratulate her. At least one asari asked how long they had been together, to which Shepard promptly replied, "Nine months."

"How did you meet?" she asked.

"She was my little sister's babysitter."

The asari chuckled. "That's interesting. How did you decide you had feelings for her?"

"The feelings came out of nowhere. But I'm sure this is the right thing to do."

"Aww. Well, I hope the best for you. That was so sweet."

"Thank you," Shepard said with a smile.

The waiters were now serving the wine. Shepard kept an eye on the target's table. The female waitress - short red hair, bright red lips - brought him his drink with a charming smile that was eerily familiar. He thanked her and she left quickly.

Five minutes later, Kasumi was back, wiping at her lips. "How's the wine?"

"I decided to wait for you."

"No, drink up, I insist."

"You're already buzzed. I want to be able to drive us home." They both knew that Shepard had a tolerance for alcohol that bordered on krogan levels, so that was a downright lie.

"Fine. Then can I have yours?"

"Go ahead."

Kasumi nursed hers, then moved on to Shepard's. "Come on, drink it," she muttered to herself, obviously talking about the target.

"Just a sip," Shepard said, taking the wine from her hands and bringing it to her lips. "Happy now, Miss Sinclair?"

"Very. Thank you."

They sat there for a while, boxes of food on their table, hands interlaced with each other. Shepard paid for the bill and they waited in comfortable silence. "You know," Shepard said quietly, "the first time you and I kissed... I actually thought it was pretty gross."

"Me, too. You really sucked at it. I was doing all the work."

"I'm sorry. You initiated it. I was caught off-guard."

"Come on, Lacy. You're how old? Exactly. You've dated before. You knew how the kissing game worked."

"Didn't stop me from wanting to bite you."

"That's why I love you. You're so combative. And a quick learner. Oh dear - is that man over there okay?"

"What man?" Shepard asked, feigning confusion.

"There," Kasumi said, nodding towards the target. He was hunched over his table, his shoulders shaking in a fit of silent coughs. "Oh no. I think he's choking. Nobody sees it."

"Uh oh."

Kasumi got up and crossed over to him. "Sir?" she asked. Shepard got up and followed her. "Sir, are you okay?"

The man looked up, his black face darkening with the lack of oxygen. Veins popped out on his neck. He banged the table, trying to breathe, and failing miserably. Kasumi slid into the booth and banged him on the back. Shepard stood in front of them, providing a cover from the security camera she knew was in the corner of the room. Kasumi's hand slipped under the tablecloth and into his pants pocket. She continued to hit him on the back, growing more frantic, and then began to raise her voice. "Help, he's choking!" she yelled. "Someone help!"

The waiters rushed over and Kasumi ducked out of the way, clutching Shepard's arm. The man collapsed. "Call emergency services," one of the waiters said in a low voice to the other. "Then get the manager."

"I can't watch this," Kasumi said, shaking her head. People were taking notice now. Some began to get out of their seats with helpful words like, "Hey, I'm a doctor."

"Let's go," Shepard said. "I have the food. Are you okay?"

"I don't like watching that. I can't."

"Shhh. He'll be in good hands."

"Clear the area, please!" somebody shouted. "We need space to work."

Shepard and Kasumi got on the elevator, and Kasumi pressed herself into Shepard. "I suppose this is where we make out suggestively," she said.

"There are cameras in here, sweetheart," Shepard said, stroking her hair. "Let's go home. Come on."

As they were ushering them into Kasumi's (probably stolen) car, the man in charge looked at her and said, "You remind me of someone very familiar."

"Really?" Shepard asked easily. "That's funny. I've never heard that before."

"Hasn't anybody told you that you look remarkably like Commander Shepard?"

"Not at all," she said. "But I'll take that as a compliment."

"Yes, do!" Kasumi gushed. "Shepard's at the forefront of the counterattack against the Reapers. Think of what this is doing for women's rights!"

"Stop being an activist and get in the car," Shepard said. "Have a good night, sir."

"You, too!"

Shepard got in the driver's seat and they drove off. Kasumi held up one finger, activated her omni-tool, and swept it over the dashboard and back seat. "No bugs," she said. "Good."

There was a beat of silence, and then they both began to laugh. It was gut-wrenching, stomach-hurting, plain old laughter, something Shepard sorely needed. Tears came out of her eyes, and Kasumi was curled up in a little ball, howling with pleasure.

"So at what point did you realize that you didn't know my name?" Kasumi demanded.

Shepard had trouble finding air. "When I started talking. Oh God, that was horrible."

"I can't believe you put it in the wine glass. As soon as I saw that I wanted to burst out laughing! When did you all of a sudden become romantic, Shep? I didn't know you had it in you."

"It was a sudden inspiration," she answered, chortling. "Did you think we were being bugged?"

"Oh I knew we were," Kasumi said. "Everybody was there. I loved the dirty talks, though. Probably gave them something to think about at night! HA! I'd never heard of -" she uttered a disgusting word " - before."

"Zaeed's fault," Shepard admitted. "That's where I got the part about the doughnut, too."

"That was genius. I almost had to take a bathroom break to go die in a stall."

"I modified it a little. But the essence of it was still there."

"That dirty, dirty old man. Bless his heart."

"And you! Where exactly were you going with the cereal and the honey? Or do I want to know?"

"I was about to invite the neighbor over for some fun because we've used her before, but then the waiter came back with dinner and I didn't think I could finish it and not choke."

"So I'm the lesbian, you're the bisexual."

"That is correct."

"When you started talking about Alejandro..."

"That was a pet name - I didn't like his real one," Kasumi said dismissively.

"What was it?"

"Donnel."

Shepard was in tears again. She pulled over at Kasumi's direction in a parking lot and they got out. "I hope that was all worth it," Shepard said.

"It was great. I have everything."

"Are we dumping the car?"

"We're 'returning' it."

"Good."

"We're going to walk back to the Docks," Kasumi said. "But let's stop here first."

They sat down on a bench and Kasumi dug around in her purse. "Here it is." She held up a data drive and gave it a quick once-over. "That's exactly what I needed. That guy is a total asshole, by the way. He won't make it out alive. I laced his wine with poison."

"You're not the type to kill people outright," Shepard said. "Why? What'd he do?"

"He helped out Hock," Kasumi said bluntly. "And he's a rapist and a murderer and he was thinking of doing some really bad things. It's a good thing he's dead. Trust me."

"And the other men?"

"His contacts. They're all with Cerberus, too. There's a conspiracy in the Alliance government. Too many higher-ups are with Cerberus. And this is going to end a lot of their careers. But I'm not done yet. This was the easy part."

"How was that the easy part?"

"The rest is complicated," she said with a sigh. "And I'm not going to drag you into it. This was exactly what I needed. And you were the exact person I needed to pull it off. They're already trying to kill you, so you won't really piss them off any more than usual. Me, on the other hand, they've been trying to find for the last two months."

"Because of this?"

"No. They wanted me dead," Kasumi said. "There was a sniper, and there was a really lucky burst of wind. They almost got me that time. Since then, I've been trying to hide my tracks. Not all of my old contacts could be trusted. Things happened. I ended up staying with an elcor friend for a while to nurse my injuries. Now I'm back in the game, and I'm going to kick their ass."

They got up and began to walk to the tram station. "Things are difficult for you."

"I can live with that. But I have more reason to take them down now than ever. I can't believe I ever thought that they were the good guys. They were supplying Donovan Hock money and resources to unlock the greybox. They helped him find and kill Keiji. They made it personal."

Kasumi took the ring off of her finger and held it up to the light. "This is one of the only things I have left of him. In his greybox, I saw him get the ring for me. It was beautiful."

"I had no idea it held that much sentimental value for you," Shepard said. "Thank you for trusting me with it."

"Don't get used to it," Kasumi said. "It's mine."

"I know. You two must have loved each other very much."

"We did," Kasumi sighed. "We really did. Losing him was the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with. I miss him every day. I've accepted that he's gone. But I miss... holding his hand. It's childish. His smell. The way he smiled. Moved. The way he kissed me. And knowing what could have been makes me so angry, Shep. So even if it kills me, I'm going to take down Cerberus and I'm going to help you win against the Reapers, Shepard. I promise you that."

"I know you will," Shepard said. "You're a good person. And you have something to fight for. Keep thinking about that. Find that anger and nurse it. Cerberus made a bad enemy."

"They made more than a few," Kasumi said. "I hope the Illusive Man says he prayers before bed every night, because we're going to send him straight to hell."

"Amen," Shepard replied. "You need to keep me informed. I want to know what you're doing."

"I'll try," Kasumi promised. "In the meantime, you're going to have your hands full. Don't worry about me. Seriously. I can handle myself. But tonight was... nice." She grinned. "You're a pretty good date, Commander."

"I'll never live this down. You realize that."

"Please, I never kiss and tell," Kasumi said impishly. "So, if the Reapers try indoctrinating you or something, just think about this and maybe they'll be so interested in the whole event they'll get their pincers in a knot and forget all about it."

"I don't think the Reapers have sexual drive. But I'll keep it in mind."

"Well, get those scientists on it, then," Kasumi said.

"It was nice to see you. Actually see you this time."

Kasumi reached underneath her mane of black hair and made a show of unhooking something. Then, to Shepard's slight surprise, three large, black hair extensions came off in her hand. Kasumi's hair was actually very short, barely reaching her chin.

"Now you've seen me," she said with a laugh. "Don't get used to it, Shep. I like the other way better."

"Sometimes plain sight is the best disguise," Shepard said.

"Maybe. I'm changing in five minutes. I'm going to take off."

Shepard nodded. "Okay. Stay in touch."

"Of course. Be safe, Shepard. We're engaged, after all. I can't lose you now."

Shepard laughed. "Yeah. Right."

The hugged. No kissing this time. Shepard was glad. Kasumi gripped her tightly. "I want to be on the Normandy, but this is where I have to be. I feel like I'm abandoning you."

"We have different roles to play in this war," Shepard said. "It's okay. You'll be okay."

"You stay alive. I mean it. I don't like leaving, knowing that I might never see you again. You're my best friend. Really, you are. I've never felt as accepted anywhere than I did with you. Don't die, Shep. Please, don't die."

"I won't," Shepard said. "Or if I do, I'll take the Reapers down with me."

"That's what I want to hear."

Then, still smiling, Kasumi disappeared into the night.


	16. Chapter 16

**(Sarah)**

I had no idea when we were leaving the Citadel at this point. It was difficult, at times, to pry anything out of Joker or EDI, especially since the Normandy pilot had decided not to trust us. But I did manage to get a little info from Abby, who apparently managed to get the information from somewhere-maybe she asked Shepard herself, I don't know. All that I knew was that Shepard was apparently seen leaving the ship in a slinky black dress (and neither James nor Traynor could keep their mouths shut about it; it was all over the Normandy already) and the commander had gone... somewhere.

Presently though, Shepard was apparently with Kaidan, checking up on him. After that, she was going to meet with the Council to see how things were progressing there, and to see if the turian Primarch was FINALLY ready to go yet.

It was amazing how much time you had to contemplate things when you had nothing better to do but stare at the ceiling. Irren provided me with some company, but both of us were preoccupied at times. He was kind of quiet and looking forward to being released from the medical bay. I was just trying to relearn how to use my limbs-the ones that had been replaced, that is.

I found my mind drifting back to the days when life on the Normandy was... actually easier. When all we had to worry about was taking down the Collectors and making sure everybody was getting along. It seemed so stupid now; I had spent most of the time worrying my head off about making it out alive, and I had missed out on a lot of good opportunities.

I still couldn't get the mental image of Jona Sederis out of my though... her insane features, the way she scooped my blood into her hands... if anything, that affected me even more than nearly getting killed on Menae. At least I had been unconscious during the worst of that.

I was just being stupid... again. I had been stupid during the mission against the Collectors, causing trouble for everybody. And then I went off and acted stupid again, going up against a dangerous criminal. I'd like to say I had guts, but in the end I could have... died.

I gritted my teeth, and I forced myself to push down that feeling. Get over it, girl, I told myself-even though that was a phrase I hated to hear from other people. I never liked it when people didn't acknowledge my emotions. But in this case, well... did it really matter what happened here? If I died, I would just go home. That was the logic I kept using...

Okay, maybe it was bad logic. Especially considering that it was THAT particular brand of thinking that made me go confront Jona Sederis in the first place. But still... if I held onto that thought, and simply acted with more care... being here wouldn't be so bad.

Besides... I'd been through some pretty rough experiences back home. Nothing I cared to talk about, or even think about, but... one way of coping was to sort of convince yourself that it had all been a figment of your imagination, or that it had been a dream. At times, the last time I'd been on the Normandy, I had almost forgotten what it was like to be home. Sure, I always had the subconscious connection to my other life, but it was easy to dismiss after a while, like... ignoring an annoying memory, or tuning out that catchy song you just can't get out of your head.

I guess there was no real translation for what it was I experienced sometimes. I seriously wondered if there were two of me somehow; there had to be, since I had DIED. I still had a connection with my huskified self after the Reapers took over my dead body. It was like... when I opened my eyes and found myself back home, I didn't experience true peace or wholeness until I shorted out the husk's circuits. That's what seemed to happen, at least.

Focusing on other things helped as times, too. Thinking about the fun times, like when Abby and I helped Kasumi and Kelly get Shepard made up for the mission to Hock's estate. I smiled slightly, though the smile quickly evaporated from my face. I remembered Kelly saying that when all of that was over, we girls would go somewhere just to get pampered. I assumed that meant a make-over, possibly a massage and a spa... things I didn't know much about, because I'd never been to such a place.

But it was obvious now that that would never happen. The war with the Reapers was tearing everything apart-and everyone. Kelly wouldn't be coming back to the Normandy, Kasumi was off on her own independent adventures doing who-knew-what, Shepard was trying to save the galaxy, and well... it was obvious that we'd probably never have that kind of reunion.

Why did it always seem like everyone would talk about what-ifs, and "we'll have to do such and such someday" but they rarely did it? Sometimes things just didn't work out, I know; nobody could predict the future (almost nobody, haha) or people just got busy.

In spite of myself, I found that this simply added to the list of regrets. It was silly, but I regretted the fact that I never bothered to do more of... certain things when I was a kid. The kinds of things you could only do when you were small, like riding piggy-back on your dad's shoulders. Wishing you had enjoyed those old Commodore 64 games before your machine broke and the games became obsolete. Wishing you had enjoyed those older TV shows with your family more, when Full House and Reboot were still on the airwaves...

I was getting nostalgic... I hadn't thought about THOSE days for a long time.

But there were other things too. I wished I could go to the state where my dad was born; he once said maybe we could, someday, but so far that hadn't happened. My parents were very busy people and well, so was I. Plus trips required time and money. Still... part of me hoped that my other self, the one who was still back home, would get her damn rear in gear and DO some of the things she'd always wanted to do. After all, you never knew how long you'd have someone with you before they were gone.

That thought, however, was even more depressing in this current situation. I felt tears sting my eyes; Shepard was probably going to die. Others could possibly die. Legion was going to die eventually one way or another-possibly even Tali, if Shepard failed to talk the quarians down. Anderson was going to die; he would never be with Kahlee again...

Damn it, damn it... I wanted to save them all. I whimpered slightly, swiping at the stream of tears falling down my face.

That did it, right there. No more fooling around, no more causing trouble. I was going to be a team player from now on and maybe, just maybe... I could save a few people. It had to be possible... right?

My thoughts were interrupted when Dr. Chakwas walked into the medical bay, ready to check on her patients-me and Irren. She checked on the turian dude first, giving his injuries a check over.

"So, how soon can I get out of here?" Irren asked in a conversational yet impatient kind of way.

"Well," Chakwas said thoughtfully, "the medi-gel has already done wonders for your broken bones, and turian physiology has always been resilient. You will have scars on your back and your chest, but they may fade over time."

I fingered the scar on my throat thoughtfully. It still burned from time to time, especially when we were in close proximity to anything Reaper-related.

"Does that mean I can go soon?" Irren asked hopefully.

"I'd like to stay in bed for a few more days," Chakwas replied. "Just for observation; I want to make sure there aren't any complications."

Irren sighed. "It already feels like I've been in a hospital bed forever," he commented. "But... very well." He didn't seem happy, but he seemed to accept it.

Once they finished chatting, Chakwas approached my bedside and activated her omni-tool. She seemed to look at something intently as she spoke.

"Well, Sarah, it seems that I was mistaken about something important," she told me. "It may be the reason why things didn't go well in your last physical therapy session."

I raised my eyebrows. "Oh?" I asked.

"These prosthetics are a new kind of technology, created in part by the asari," Chakwas supplied, her dark-colored eyes still glancing over a holographic readout above her arm. "Someone at Huerta Memorial Hospital must have pulled some serious strings for you. This is practically a prototype technology, a mixture of your own tissues mixed with synthetics. I'd say that someone took some of your stem cells and used a method of accelerated growth to form skin tissues, nerve endings, and even some muscular attachments. All of this is set to work around a metallic shell, filled with electronics and a silicon base that serves the place of bone tissues-which would have taken far longer to grow properly."

I blinked a few times, trying to absorb everything she'd just said. "So you're telling me that my new arm, and new leg, have some of my own tissues in it?" I touched my new left arm gingerly, once again marveling at the way it did look and feel like real skin. Apparently that's because it WAS my own skin; and with a layer of muscle underneath... and metal and circuitry under that.

I was a techno-organic version of the Bionic Woman now. Wonderful.

"That's very interesting," Irren chimed in, sounding very intrigued. "I've only seen that in action once."

"As I said, it's still new and in the experimental stages," Chakwas answered, without looking at him. "So," she said, speaking to me again, "your body has accepted these new limbs after they were surgically attached, because they are your own tissues. An implant was surgically placed inside your skull which links into your nervous system through your brain, and you must learn to use your new limbs through it. Then you will be able to pick things up, walk normally, and even feel differences in texture or temperature."

"Then how come I can't feel a damn thing in my left hand right now?" I asked with a frown. I still couldn't move it; I could barely make the fingers twitch.

"Here, I want to try something," Chakwas said, looking as though an inspiration had struck her. She walked over to her supply cabinet and picked up a long, pointed object; an empty syringe. I would realize in a moment that she simply wanted to try out the pointy tip, nothing more.

"Let me know if you feel anything," Chakwas said, gently taking my left wrist into hers, and stabbing the tip of my index finger-the very point that is most sensitive on the human hand.

"OW!" I yelped, and I flinched so much that I yanked my left hand away from her, dropping it protectively against my chest. I blinked, and realized what I had done. I had moved it!

However, when I tried again... it wouldn't move at all. It wouldn't even let me move my fingertips. Apparently I had somehow accessed some kind of instinctual mechanism, or something.

"Well, that's a start," Chakwas remarked.

Over the loudspeaker, canned audio of applause cheered me on.

"Hooray for not failing miserably," Joker said scathingly.

I scowled. "Joker, shut up," I said. What was his problem anyway? I knew he was always a bit mouthy, probably as a way to make up for his handicap and it was his way of blowing off steam. But I really wished he would get off our backs.

Then again... well, I was used to the way he talked to me. Maybe I was more upset about the way he seemed to be treating Abby. They used to be friends, after all. Now it seemed like everybody thought we were... I don't know, suspicious.

I resigned myself to the fact that I was going to be doing this for the next few hours. Little did I know though that I would make more progress today; I would actually be able to form a loose fist and even stand (albeit wobbly; I had to lean against the wall for support) by the time Chakwas was done working with me.

* * *

><p>After Chakwas left, and Irren became engrossed in another datapad, (seriously, did that guy every do anything besides read?) I got bored again. Abby was busy, Irren was busy, so I decided to try getting in touch with Kasumi.<p>

I didn't have any real way to get in touch with her. So I simply asked EDI to send a message to her old email address on my behalf; a request to chit-chat with me at her convenience. I wasn't sure if she would or not. Then, all I could do was wait.

About an hour and a half later, EDI told me that she was receiving an incoming transmission for me, intended to initiate a live, two-way transmission. It seemed that someone, somewhere, on a remote area of the Citadel, wanted to talk to me. Then again, EDI mentioned out loud that she found it odd; it was extremely difficult to pinpoint the exact location of where the message was coming from, because something was fooling sensors into thinking it was coming from three different locations.

"Let's have it," I said with a grin. "Who is this?" I asked when EDI patched me through.

"Well, I'm not going to kill you if you try to hang up on me," a dry, familiar voice said. "You have one guess. No, two. I'll be nice."

My grin widened. "You're my guardian angel," I said. "You saved my life in the hospital when Cerberus came after me."

I saw Irren's eyes snap briefly in my direction, though he did nothing to interrupt the conversation or chime in. I knew that he disliked the idea of Cerberus coming after me when he was supposed to be my bodyguard-even though he had been unconscious at the time. He still wasn't in any shape to do much of anything.

Then again, he was probably just sick of being confined to a bed.

"Whatcha up to?" I went on.

"Nothing unusual," she said. "Feeling better?"

"Yeah, mostly," I told her. "Chakwas stabbed me with a needle earlier to test the feeling in my new hand." That seemed like the perfect way to bring up what I really wanted to talk about. "By the way, Dr. Chakwas said that my prosthetics are prototype technology. Like... some kind of experimental blend of my own DNA and synthetics. Just curious... who pulled those strings? You? Thane? Bailey?" I practically held my breath as I waited for her reply.

"Ah ah ah," she chided. "That would be telling. It might not have been any of us, but I'm glad they're working out. And Doctor Chakwas knows what she's doing. I barely have a scar from the suicide mission."

"Hey speaking of the suicide mission," I said, "are you sure you don't want to come back to the Normandy? There's a lot of things that are going to happen this time around. Shepard's gonna cure the-uh," I realized I was about to say too much. "Shepard's gonna help the krogan in a way big," I substituted, and grimaced. Kasumi wasn't stupid; she would probably figure out what I had almost said. "And uh... if everything works out okay, there's gonna be peace between the quarians and geth, and... well..." I trailed off. "Lots of stuff," I said simply.

"Right," Kasumi said. "Well, it all sounds like big fun, but I'm doing some important work here on the Citadel. Besides, you guys have Garrus and that sexy hunk of meat with the pho-hawk. You'll be fine."

I furrowed my brow in puzzlement. "Uh, pho-hawk?" I asked, not quite understanding what that term meant. I kept myself from glancing at Irren, since I had a hunch she was referring to him.

"It's like a mohawk, but it's not. Normally you see little boys running around with them, or bigger guys like him. Never in-between. You know what I'm saying?"

I pressed my hand to my mouth to suppress a giggle. I still didn't look at Irren, and I just hoped he wouldn't catch on that we were talking about him. If I told Kasumi that he was in the same room with me right now, that would definitely give it away. So I decided to try and change the subject, nicely.

"By the way..." I frowned as a sudden thought came to me, from the newest... 'visions'. "Kasumi... I wanted to say I'm sorry."

"For which part?" Kasumi asked suspiciously.

"Well..." I wasn't sure if I should elaborate. How exactly did you go about telling your friend that you were sorry that her dead lover's gray box had been deleted, because if we ended up choosing synergy later we could have brought him back to life? That would sound just too weird... not to mention it might crush her, even if I could explain somehow.

"I'm just sorry," I said with a tremor in my voice, and I clamped my hand over my mouth. I realized I shouldn't have gone there at all. It would have been better to say nothing; ignorance is bliss, after all.

"It's covered. Commander Shepard made everything better a few hours ago, so you don't have to apologize, but I do appreciate it."

I let out a small sigh of relief. She must have thought I was talking about the crap that happened at the hospital. That's good; I was actually gonna apologize for that next. "Thank you," I said sincerely. I tried to think of anything else I wanted to say, especially since I wasn't sure when we would be able to talk again.

"Just... keep an eye on Udina if you could, would you?" I asked. "He's a creep." I paused. "And I really mean that. I'm not just talking about his personality. I'm not kidding, he's... a creep." I hoped she would catch my drift.

"I'm quite aware he's been creepier than usual lately," Kasumi said. "So far it seems okay, but I definitely have a close eye on him. If something needs to be done about it in the future, that's why I'm there. It'll be fun. I get to play assassin for a day. Thane's a real swell guy when you hang around him a lot - he's already showed me five different ways to take down a guy in heavy armor with my bare hands. That's something. The guy's got talent."

"Wow," I said, trying very hard to picture that. I actually couldn't. But then again... I didn't even know much about fighting. Combat just wasn't my thing.

"Well, good luck with that," I told her sincerely. I was running out of things to talk about, and I didn't want to hold her up for long. I knew that everybody had important things to do during all of this. "Hey," I said, clearing my throat. "There is something I wanted to talk to you about, before... moving on."

"And what's that?"

"When I pulled a gun on you on Tuchanka, you were really pissed... and you had every right to be," I said slowly. "I was just wondering... what made you decide to forgive me?"

"Shepard did," Kasumi said. "And the whole 'attacking the Collector Base' thing made me worried, too. I can be a team player if I try really hard, but even I knew that we all had to be at our best and together to pull it off. And... you figured out things about yourself when you did that. So no hard feelings, but I probably won't give you a weapon any time soon. Just being safe."

I smiled. "To be fair, I don't want a weapon anytime soon," I said. "And I just wanted to make sure you weren't still upset at me, deep down or anything." I didn't add that I felt I had done pretty darn good against the indoctrinated hanar with the salarian Spectre. But the encounter with Jona Sederis pretty much killed the mood for my so-called 'accomplishments' on the Citadel. "And just to be fair... I never had any intention of pulling the trigger or anything when I did that," I added meekly, as if that helped my case somehow.

"I know, and you said so before," Kasumi said. "I'm not going to forget that it happened, though, and neither should you. But like I said before - we're fine."

"I'm glad to hear that," I told her happily. "And don't worry, I'm never going to do anything stupid like that again, and I'm gonna try harder to be a good team-player myself. That means no more running off and confronting gang lords either."

"I hope EDI recorded that," Kasumi said dryly.

"Don't worry, I'm really gonna try this time," I reiterated calmly. "Though..." I grinned impishly. Maybe it was time for a little prank, for old time's sake-I got a wild idea, based on something Abby had told me before we arrived here. You know, back when we were still living our... other lives, before returning to this universe.

I glanced over at Irren's bed; I hadn't even realized that he temporarily left to use the bathroom. He was recovering rapidly, and Chakwas had given him permission to go as far as the restroom whenever he needed to. Perfect; now I could pull my prank without getting weird looks or comments from him.

"You know, Kasumi," I went on, "uh... I am starting to wonder if we're wrong about the Reapers in some ways." I somehow managed to keep my tone straight, and serious. I managed not to giggle.

"You're saying this as they're butchering millions of innocent people," Kasumi said. "I don't exactly see how we're wrong about them."

"Well, maybe we're just looking at things the wrong way," I said slowly, sounding thoughtful. "They're attacking us yet, but they're also preserving everything in the form of a new Reaper, so in a way... they're just overly grabby museum collectors."

Once again, I managed to stop myself from laughing and sound completely serious. I knew that this was nothing to joke about, but I had to be just a little devilish in some ways. This was based on a conversation me and Abby had had over MSN, back home, where Abby said something about wondering if she'd been indoctrinated, because... she had that peculiar thought about the Reapers.

I probably shouldn't have been doing this. I just wanted to see how Kasumi might react.

"No_. I'm_ an overly grabby museum collector. And _I _don't eat people."

"Reapers don't really eat people," I corrected, still doing my best to sound serious. It was working. "They preserve them, and new life comes out of it. It gets preserved almost forever. Doesn't that mean all of those lost civilizations are still alive in some ways?"

"I don't know, Sarah, maybe you should ask Mordin," Kasumi said bluntly. She was referring to Mordin's utter disdain for the Collectors, who were nothing but mindless husks. He showed considerable dislike for their lack of art, which, in his mind, showed a sense of cultural heritage.

And Reapers weren't exactly delving into Impressionism.

"We'll be seeing Mordin soon, maybe I will," I said. "But hey, I'm not gonna dismiss the idea of being friends with the Reapers. You never know what might happen." Now I really did have to clamp my hand over my mouth.

"Riiiiiiiiiight," Kasumi said. "You know, you've done a lot of weird things, but this takes the cake. I think you're crazy. And I'm not going to talk about that with you. Earth's burning."

I nodded a little, my mood sobering a little. That prank hadn't gone exactly as planned. "Never mind," I said. "I didn't mean any of that stuff anyway, it was a... joke." Yeah, the inappropriate kind. "See... um... me and Abby-and HK-had visions about Mass-about what will happen during this war before we... left home. That was just something goofy Abby said out loud before the Reaper attack started. I don't think any of us really think that right now," I finished, trying to explain everything I was saying before.

I almost thought I heard something over the ship's speakers above my head. It was a sound I couldn't quite identify. Possibly a... sigh of relief? Or something? Was Joker listening in again?

When I had known Kasumi on the Normandy, she had been kind, welcoming, and warm. The type of person that wouldn't hold it against you if you pointed a gun at them on a hostile planet. But now her voice didn't reflect any of that at all. "That's not something to joke about," she said. "Not now, not ever."

Her tone had been icy; I'd never heard her speak to me that way before. I actually shivered slightly, as if I'd been scolded by an older, wiser sister. I said the only thing I could think to say. "I'm sorry," I blurted. And those two words sounded hollow and generic even to my own ears.

Then I began to babble an excuse, worried I had made her angry. "I can't be perfect all the time, you know. I need to think about something stupid sometimes or I... only have the nightmares." I swallowed, and I had to shove aside the mental image of Jona Sederis, again. "Look, I'll just let you go," I sighed. "I'm sure you have more important things to do than listen to idiotic stuff from me anyway. Take care of yourself."

Kasumi sighed heavily. "Okay. I'll check in every once in a while. Be good. I hope you didn't just get yourself into a boatload of trouble with that little comment, either..." With that, the communication was severed.

I sighed heavily myself. I cast a frustrated glance around the medical bay, noting that Irren wasn't back yet. Well, maybe he was taking a shower or something. Then again, I was just grateful that he'd missed that entire exchange. I felt like a moron now.

"I'm sorry, Joker," I said out loud, knowing he had probably heard the entire thing. Mr. Nosey that he was. Then again, weren't he and EDI the ones who sometimes liked inappropriate jokes? Maybe they would be a couple of the only people who'd understand on this ship. Or maybe not, I wasn't sure.

"There's such a thing as a 'bad time' for things like that."

I simply laid back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. "I'm going to sleep now," I said to no one in particular. "Good night."

"I'll be sure to lock the door," Joker said sarcastically.

I managed to both ignore that comment and retort by giving a fairly realistic, fake snore.

* * *

><p><strong>(Abby)<strong>

I tried not to purse my lips as I went to get a drink of water from the mess hall. It seemed as if everyone was either questioning my presence on the ship or giving me suspicious looks. When I passed one of the tables, the two crewmen and the crewwoman sitting there suddenly ceased talking and looked straight at me.

What made it worse was that the crewwoman was someone I had to share my area of the crew quarters with. My bunk was right below hers. Her name was Stacy.

Ignoring them was useless; some of the things they said were just loud enough to be heard even when they spoke in hushed tones. Or maybe they didn't care if I heard them or not. Perhaps they even wanted a reaction, or for me to explain for myself.

"I thought I heard she was the Commander's niece."

"James said she's not." Of course James would say that. He seemed adamant about disliking us. "Apparently they know the future somehow."

"But how's that even possible?"

"Didn't Commander Shepard learn about the Reapers through visions?"

"That was from Prothean technology, and it was like a voice from the past. These kids claim to just know about the future."

"Are you sure they're not related to Shepard? I don't see why else they'd be here."

"Shepard's a Spectre and she's on a mission to save the Earth. She can do whatever the hell she wants."

"So we're supposed to accept that? Just like that?"

"I don't know. Commander Shepard may have beaten Sovereign and taken down the Collectors, but she still destroyed a batarian colony-"

"The batarians were already toast. They pretty much got wiped out when the Reapers first came through."

They continued chatting as they got up and left the table, having finished their meal. Maybe they realized I was listening, or they simply had to get back to work. Whatever the reason, they didn't even bother to clear their dishes; they simply left the metal saucers and silverware right where it was.

I rolled my eyes once they were gone and sipped my water, glancing through the medical bay window from time to time. I could see Irren reading a datapad or speaking from time to time, and I could see Chakwas working with Sarah. The doctor had a patient, yet professional, bedside manner; she was good with people.

I smiled slightly when I remembered something from the good old days, during the Collector mission. There were some things that few people knew about Joker, such as the fact that Chakwas helped him a lot more than he let on. Some nights she would actually help him take off his braces before he went to bed, and then she'd return early the next morning to help him get out of bed and put them back on. She'd dote on him like a mother hen, making certain he was eating right, had plenty of calcium, and drinking enough water.

It was as if Joker was like the son she never had.

A bit of movement caught my eye through the medical bay window. Sarah was smiling; she seemed to have made some kind of breakthrough. Dr. Chakwas looked on with approval as well.

I had offered to help with the physical therapy, but Chakwas insisted that she could handle it on her own. I almost wondered if she didn't want me in the medical bay for some reason... unless maybe everybody agreed that us three weirdoes were 'dangerous', especially in one place.

Maybe Sarah had proven, more or less, that she was actually harmless because of what happened to her on the Citadel. Who was going to speak poorly of someone who lost an arm and a leg, except to mention her own foolishness? I'd heard some people gossiping about Sarah as well; some of them seemed to think she was crazy or mentally unstable. But HK and I got the worst of it when it came to speculations and gossip.

The only reason why there was no one keeping an eye on me right now was because everyone was on the Citadel, or at their posts. Besides, I had realized earlier that EDI was always watching. Sure, she trusted us, but she was also loyal to Shepard, who trusted her enough to take Samara's place as backup-psychic in case anything happened to us.

I was going to go in and see what was going on, maybe even congratulate her, when EDI's voice broke into my thoughts. "Abby," the AI addressed me, "please come to the cockpit. Jeff wishes to speak to you."

I blinked in surprise. After all of the snarky remarks he'd been making about us-about me-he wanted to see me now? I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. "Suuuuuure." I cast another quick glance toward the medical bay, then I moved to the elevator.

A few minutes later I arrived at the bridge, refusing to look at anyone I passed. I knew they would only be giving me the same looks that everyone everyone on this ship were giving me. I kept my eyes straight ahead and focused only on my destination. Just get to the cockpit. Not much farther now...

When I arrived I was surprised to see that EDI wasn't in the co-pilots seat. Of course she was still there; she would be "there" no matter where you went on the ship. But her body was elsewhere, apparently.

"So," I said as I came up behind him, "what did you want to see me about?" I resisted the urge to fold my arms.

Joker didn't respond for a full moment. Just when I thought he wasn't going to answer, he finally swiveled his chair around to face me. "Look," he said, "I still don't know how the hell you came back from the dead or how you're here now. I just kind of accepted it before, but now..." He sighed. "Just never mind that; it's not important. What is important is that you... still know stuff." His eyes narrowed fractionally.

"HK and I told EDI everything," I reminded him. "Why don't you ask her what you want to know?" Especially since you obviously don't trust us. I wanted to say that, but I didn't.

"Apparently you guys didn't tell her some things. She isn't sure if you just don't know, or if you forgot to mention it." He inhaled deeply, as if bracing himself for a tough question. "I just gotta know, though," he went on, in a softer voice. "Are my dad and sister okay?"

Then I realized something. We had told EDI everything about the main, important events, and the important side missions involving the ex-Cerberus people, Grissom Academy, some things that happened on the Citadel... but there were still some details that both of us forgot to mention. Some of the things about the little side missions where you had to scan planets for items and avoid the Reapers...

I suddenly realized more than ever that we needed to make sure these people knew everything we knew. Why? Because the crucible, and all of the options it would provide, depended on how many resources and genius minds Shepard could get to work on the project.

Maybe there was a clue right under my nose that I didn't know before. The synergy option didn't become available unless you got enough war assets. Well, maybe it was because it took more of the best technology and the best brains to unlock and decode the ancient schematics of the Crucible. Apparently some brain out there, millions of years ago, came up with the concept; what if they came up with other things, too? Maybe there were even more "choices" that could be added to the Crucible besides Control, Destroy or Synergy, but they never happened in the game because there weren't enough of the right people or resources.

Nobody understood how the Crucible worked, or what they were doing, really. At least, Shepard wouldn't until the end of the game. Since each species in each cycle had added to the Crucible, was it possible that one species could have invented the Control choice somehow, while another one down the line came up with Destroy? Synergy would be especially difficult in building or designing, so that might be why it took extra brains to build that one.

It made me curious if there were more mysteries to be unlocked within the Crucible plans.

But right now, I had to focus on Joker. I wondered if I should tell him or not. He wouldn't fight less, and he wouldn't live in fear. He'd at least know.

"Tiptree..." I said hesitantly, "is going to be attacked by the Reapers about two weeks before we're asked to go to Thessia, whenever that is. Until then, yes, they're fine."

"After the attack."

I pursed my lips and shook my head. "I'm sorry."

"You saying you don't know, or what?" he demanded.

"I'm saying that Hilary is a brave, brave girl," I said. "Just like you. But she's fifteen, and she's never been in a war. She's not going to make it off the planet. She'll take out some husks with a stick and free some prisoners, but she's going to break her leg. She'll get away and hide, but she won't be able to stop crying. She'll be found, but..."

Lies. Why do I come up with lies so often, and so easily? But I couldn't bear to hurt Joker any more than I just did.

"She'll kill herself. She won't be a husk, I promise. And before she dies, she will have made a difference. With her death, an asari commando will be able to call in for a rescue and give the team crucial information that will help push the Reapers back."

Joker had turned away, his jaw working. I couldn't see his face, but there was an unnerving stillness about him. The air seemed cold. "Huh..."

And then I realized something that made my stomach drop. "Oh, no. They've already attacked Tiptree, haven't they?" I asked quietly.

He was quiet a long time, and then he exhaled deeply, like he'd been holding his breath the entire time. "Yeah," he said. "Yeah."

"She was so brave, and so like you," I whispered, hesitantly reaching out to put a hand on his shoulder. "She wanted to be a pilot."

"Yeah."

"War never discriminates. Everybody dies."

"Even you. Yeah."

"I'm so sorry," I said. "But you're not alone. Even if you don't want to talk to me, you still have a lot of people who care for you. Chakwas will want to know. So will Shepard."

"Right."

I squeezed his shoulder. "It'll all be worth it in the end," I promised him. "For all of us. You're gonna get your revenge. You know why?"

"Huh?"

"You're the best pilot in the Alliance fleet. You're a hero. You're a role model. And you know what's right and what's wrong. You're going to kick some ass. And if you keep fighting like you do, you're going to make it out of this okay. I promise you that."

Joker wasn't answering. I felt a slight tremble in his shoulder and pulled my hand away. I felt a deep sadness swallowing me like a black hole. Grief - for him, for the broken families, for war itself - made it hard to breathe. And I knew that, either way, Shepard was probably going to die. The idea of her lying on the ground, cold, still as a statue, shook me. I wondered what she would choose, and knew that she would surprise me, as she always did.

But as for Joker...

I wondered if his mind was full of images of his family, his home. His father, who he must have known was dead by now, and then Hilary. She was so much younger than he was. I wondered if he was picturing her as a chubby-cheeked four year old, running around pretending to be an airplane. Fights they must have had. Birthdays, boyfriends, movie nights.

I didn't know anything about her other than what I told him. But Joker was a guy that felt things to the core, and yes, was shaken by them. I'd taken the very foundation on which he had grown up on and set it on fire.

And then, by walking away, I was letting him burn in silent grief.

My departure was quiet. He didn't know that I'd left. I'd never know that he turned around minutes later, mouth open to speak, tears disappearing into his beard, and started when he realized that I wasn't there. I'd never know the thoughts that went through his head then, of listening to me die on the Collector Base, and wondering if Hilary went out the same way. I'd never know that when he turned around, he was going to say "_thank you_."

And I would never, _ever_ know, not until much later, when the Reapers dotted the sky like the teeth of some dangerous animal threatening to swallow us, that he thought I was just as brave as Hilary.


	17. Chapter 17

"Good luck, Daddy!"

"Come on, Amelia, I don't need _luck._ I'm _Commander Shepard_, darn it. I'll be just fine."

**-Amelia Shepard, age ten, and Commander Brian Shepard**

Commander Shepard tried to ignore the stares she received from people within the hospital-patients and hospital staff alike-when she walked into Huerta Memorial Hospital, still wearing the gown that she'd worn at Le Chateau Fleur De Resturante. The dress was the same, but she had put on a pair of short boots, let her hair down, and put on a silk black cape to keep her shoulders warm.

She wasn't sure where the cape came from, or how it got there. She'd simply realized that it had been left in a small grocery bag beside her feet, and she only noticed it after Kasumi was gone. She didn't want to think too hard about where it might have come from.

Shepard still needed to see how the Council was doing; the last she'd heard, the turian Primarch was still trying to get the asari Councilor to agree to come to the summit, but she wouldn't budge. Apparently the Primarch was also receiving and sending messages to and from the turian government as well. Most of the messages were heavily encrypted, and he wasn't talking about them, but apparently he had many matters to attend to-and decisions to make-now that he was the Primarch.

She simply figured she would take the time to give Kaidan a little surprise. She would have come for anybody, but the idea of seeing Kaidan again was enticing enough to make her mentally backpedal. She'd had quite a bit of time to think of the last time they'd been in the room together. She had held his hand, stroked it with her thumb, and he had kissed her forehead and apologized. For everything.

She had a lot of things to worry about in her everyday life. She was, just as that man said, at the forefront of the fight against the Reapers, and was going to do everything in her power to destroy them. Theoretically, she shouldn't have been wasting her time on normal, human emotions like that. Confusion, fear... all of that mixed together could hamper somebody.

Kaidan's very presence prevented her from thinking straight.

Jacob was a solid man, but after their last meeting she'd been forced to think about all of the parameters of their relationship - parameters she hadn't thought about since she and Jacob had solidified the deal in her quarters the night before they took out the Collectors. She'd even told Kaidan that Horizon was not the reason that she chose Jacob, but now she wasn't sure.

How much of it was love, and how much of it was just an innate need for a calming, male influence in her life? She'd had plenty of options on the Normandy - Zaeed, though Abby had mentioned that wasn't in the books, and then Thane and Jacob. Garrus, as well, but...

Why was Jacob okay, and Garrus wasn't? They were closer than siblings and the turian always knew what the score was in any given situation. He was smart, resourceful, and, as Kasumi had called Jacob, a solid individual.

Shepard didn't like to initiate things, at least of a romantic nature. Garrus would never do that, she knew. Jacob was... a flirt. A very stress-relieving flirt. But wasn't that how she got Kaidan?

Confusion. Damn it all.

It was late on the Citadel and the lights were already dimmed to simulate night, but the light was still on in his room. Still a private room, it looked like. When she poked her head into his room she found him sitting him and finishing his meal. It looked like an interesting mixture of mashed potatoes and grits.

"I brought dessert," she said with a dry smile. The look on his face was, she had to admit to herself, pretty funny.

Kaidan's eyes darted between the scraps that remained on his plate and the small box in Shepard's eyes. "Hey, Amelia," he greeted her, setting the dish aside. "That's very kind of you. I just hope you didn't get it from the hospital cafe," he said. He sounded like he was only half kidding.

He also sounded like he was trying not to let her know just how surprised he was. That amused her more than she wanted it to. "I had to kill someone to get this cake, you better enjoy it," she warned. She put the box on the table to his right and fished out the contents. Now she was glad that she'd ordered dessert, despite being stuffed. "How are you doing, Kaidan?" she asked, putting the entire slice on his plate.

"I'm doing alright," he answered. His eyes looked down at the slice of cake appreciatively. "The doctors still want to run one or two tests, but it looks like I'm making it out of this one alive." He took the plate into his hand, raising a fork to cut into the tip of the slice. He brought it to his mouth and his eyes lit up when it hit his taste buds.

"Mmm," he uttered an appreciative sound. "You must have gotten this from the Presidium. I haven't tasted cake this rich in a long time."

She sat down and crossed her legs, folding her arms placidly over her chest. "Yeah. Went to this great place with a friend. I'll have to tell you about it when you come back to the Normandy. Have you thought any more about that?" she asked.

Kaidan took a hearty bite from a greedy stab of his fork. It was almost as if this was the first time he'd tasted anything with real sugar in it for a while. Then again, there weren't many desserts served on Alliance vessels or outposts, and it wasn't considered healthy in a hospital. And this cake came from a goddamn five-star restaurant.

"I'm not sure yet," he answered after he swallowed. "But I gotta level with you, Amelia. I'm actually thinking about taking it. I mean... I saw all of the good that you did when we chased down Saren; we never would have gotten that far if you weren't a Spectre. And now that the Reapers are here, I'm thinking that it might be handy to have less red tape to get through if it can really help someone."

"You'll have your freedom," Shepard said. "And it has nice perks, too. But it's tough, and it's like dancing on a political tightrope sometimes."

"How do you handle it?" Kaidan asked, straightforward and blunt. His eyes bore into hers, requesting a honest answer from the heart.

"To be honest I don't really think there are a lot of Spectres out there doing what I'm doing right now," she said bluntly. "After my first mission, they put me on the backburner and sent me out to chase geth. Then look what happened. Hell of a compensation, don't you think?" she asked. "But I'm at a different position now than I was three years ago. Back then the power was nice, but testifying directly to the Council used to kill me. I hated it. I mostly hated it because I knew I was right, and they didn't believe me."

"At least now they know you're right as well," Kaidan said. "But that's a small comfort, especially since they're still trying to get you to jump through hoops." He set his fork down on the plate and offered it to her. It still had about half of the neatly eaten slice of cake. "Would you like some? It's a bit too... sweet for me to eat all at once," he told her.

"Sure," she said. She took his fork and ate a small bite, and then started laughing immediately at how rich it was. "Okay, I'm set for the night," she said.

"That's it?" Kaidan chuckled. "Come on, you could beat me at any drinking contest. Are you saying you can't handle as much cake as I can?" His eyes met hers, and a playful smile graced his lips. For a moment, just a moment, it seemed as if both of them almost forgot that there was a war going on.

"Yeah, and if we were in the mess hall you'd be wearing it," she replied with a laugh.

"Yeah well, I guess it's better not to risk diabetes," Kaidan allowed. "So tell me, how're things going with the Council? Are we getting help for Earth?"

"They're next on the list of things to deal with before I leave," she said. "But no, things aren't going as well for us as we'd like. The asari are stalling. We're trying to arrange a summit that nobody wants to go to. It's disgusting and I'm glad I'm not a politician."

"I'm sure you're handling it better than Ash would have," Kaidan said. "I don't think she would have enough patience for your job." He sighed and set the plate aside. The remaining bits of cake soon sat there, forgotten, as they continued their conversation.

"You know, I'm glad you've been stopping by when you can," he admitted. "I mean, I wasn't sure where we stood after we met on Horizon, and then you..." He narrowed his eyes. "I don't know, Amelia. I think we've both done and said some things that we both regret. I want this to work, but..." He hesitated. "Do you have feelings for... him?"

Shepard sighed and looked away. "I didn't come here to talk about Jacob, Kaidan," she said.

"I need some time to think about it too," Kaidan admitted. "If I choose the Spectre position, well... there may not be much time for this sort of thing anyway, and with the Reapers... hell, we don't even know if we'll win or not."

He was making excuses, and both of them knew it.

"We'll win," Shepard said. "And we're going to bring as many people out of this that we can."

How many before her had said the same thing, and failed?

"We'll have time," she promised.

He gave her hand a squeeze. "Stay safe out there, Amelia." He repositioned his hand to hold hers more securely, and ran his thumb over her knuckle. "Whatever happens... I don't want to lose you again."

"Not any time soon," she said. "I still have some things to do."

She rose. "I'll let you know when I come back to the Citadel."

"Hey, there's something I wanted to ask you about before you go," he said. "There was quite a ruckus here a few days ago... I'm not sure what happened, though it seemed like C-sec closed off the hospital for a while. All I know is that one of the patients here was considered a security risk. Do you know anything about what happened?"

"The last time I was here, I told you about HK, Abby, and Sarah," Shepard said. "It turns out Sarah didn't die on Palaven's moon. She lost an arm in the accident, and a leg when she decided to leave the hospital."

It seemed to take Kaidan a moment to process this new information. "So this girl lost an arm before coming to this hospital, and then she lost a leg when she left the hospital?" At Shepard's nod, Kaidan shook his head slightly. "How exactly did she manage that?" he asked in puzzlement.

Shepard shook her head. A small noise escaped her throat, somewhere between an exasperated grunt and a dry chuckle. "Kaidan," she said wryly, "you'd be amazed what this girl can do when she sets her mind to it."

Kaidan raised his eyebrows a fraction at her response. "What do you mean?" he asked. "Or do I want to know?"

Shepard smiled humorlessly. She reached over and touched his arm, giving his flesh a little squeeze. She almost had to fight the impulse to move closer and rest her head against his bare chest, to snuggle close to him...

No, no. Now was not the time to think about that night, two and a half years ago, in her old bedroom aboard the Normandy.

"If you come back to the Normandy, you should ask some of the crewmembers who were around during the mission against the Collectors," Shepard told him. "I could share a few stories myself..." She shrugged one shoulder. "Or maybe she'll tell you, if you ask her."

"Huh. Maybe I will at that," Kaidan said. "Then again, if I become a Spectre... there's no telling where the Council... or Udina... might want to send me."

He was going back and forth.

"We'll see how things go," she acknowledged. Better yet, she could see if she could pry a little more information out of the psychics. She'd accepted the fact that they were back to stay, and they were helping her again. Precautions had been taken in case all three of them died again.

But did that mean they were going to win this war? Would all of them come out of this alright, or would they all die this time? This was as much her responsibility as it was theirs.

"I should go," Shepard told the man before releasing his arm. Then, on a whim, she leaned down and hugged him. Under the hint of antiseptic, he smelled just like she remembered.

"Goodbye, Amelia," he told her warmly. "Take care of yourself out there. Good luck."

"Are you kidding?" she asked, backing away. A voice from the past, all warm smiles and hearty laughs, welled up inside her. "I don't need _luck_. I'm Commander Shepard – I'll be just fine."

* * *

><p><strong>(Sarah)<strong>

I absolutely hated wearing turtleneck shirts because they made me feel like my own clothes were trying to strangle me. But it was the only thing that could keep my neck scar hidden from sight, and Thane had been nice enough to purchase some for me when I was at the hospital.

I just didn't want HK or Abby to see it, I guess. Nobody wanted to be reminded of what happened back there on Menae, and I certainly didn't. I'd been through enough crap on Menae and on the Citadel, and hell... even on this damned ship when I went to Commander Shepard's damned quarters and I was attacked by that gosh-damned spider thing...

I grimaced and pressed my hands against my face. No, no... not that again. Why did all of this have to keep swirling back into my mind, like a hurricane of memories and emotions that wouldn't settle down for long? I began to see it all again.

The vivid dreams, of the spider husk leading me through the forest until I was attacked by a regular husk...

Then Jona Sederis and her wild laughter and insane delight as she hacked off my other limbs, and slit my throat...

I groaned out loud and somehow managed to curl into a ball on the bed, wrapping my good arm around my head. I tried desperately to block out the terrible images as the sight of a Brute flashed through my mind, and the Harvester, and rocks crashing down on top of me...

And then I remembered something else, out of the blue, that I had somehow managed to forget. The vivid memory of running from the turian camp on Menae, and... hearing one of the Reapers speaking to me in my head.

The scar on my throat burned, almost to the point of making me gasp for breath. I clutched it through the soft fabric of my turtleneck, whimpering and shuddering. Yes, yes... the Reapers had spoken to me on Menae! They wanted me to spill the beans about the future... they knew about all of us, they wanted us...

All of this came to a climax where I ended up screaming at the top of my lungs, and then I fell out of bed, literally. I landed in a heavy heap on the floor, gasping with tears streaming down my cheeks.

I vaguely heard the sound of Irren shouting. I think he asked he if I was alright, and then he was yelling for EDI to get Chakwas. The next thing I knew, Chakwas was helping me back onto the bed and asking me if I was alright.

I kept hearing a high-pitched sound in the room, and it seemed like my chest was tight and I was having trouble breathing. Not only that, but I was unable to speak. I felt Chakwas gently shake me by the shoulders once or twice, until finally she gave me a shot to calm me down. It was only when my mouth closed and my chest relaxed that I realized those annoying sounds had been hysterical sobs coming from me. Now my body went limp like a noodle, because the medicine had broken the spell of hysteria.

"Sarah," Dr. Chakwas was saying to me, "can you hear me?" She leaned over me with concern. "Are you all right?"

I squeezed my eyes shut briefly, and then I opened them. "Yeah, yeah... I guess." I swallowed.

"What happened?" Chakwas asked. She seemed to be asking both me and Irren that question.

Irren spoke up. "She was fine a moment ago," he said. "She seemed to be asleep. Then she just started screaming, and she fell out of bed. She wouldn't answer me or anything."

"Sarah, are you still having dreams? What exactly happened?" Chakwas asked.

"Yes," I croaked. "I'm still... having dreams. I can't... can't get that stuff out of my mind."

"Sarah, it would seem that you need emotional therapy as well as physical therapy," Chakwas told me. "I am not a psychologist, but I can arrange to have one come aboard the Normandy."

"No," I hissed, making a feeble attempt to curl myself into a ball. "I don't want to talk about this."

"You need to talk about it with someone, Sarah," Chakwas told me. "You must work through these issues."

I began to tremble. "I don't need to talk about anything!" I said that far more loudly than I intended.

"Sarah, think about this," Chakwas said, gripping me firmly by the shoulders. She forced me to look at her before she spoke. "I know about some of the things you were going through the last time you were on the Normandy. You spoke to a few people such as Kasumi, and a little to HK and Abby, but never enough. You've had intense psychological problems since Day One, and maybe all of us helped attribute to that in some way. But you need to start being honest and open with us. You need to tell us when something is hurting you, or if you need help. You can't keep withdrawing into yourself and pushing the rest of us away; we are here to help you."

She looked straight into my eyes and held mine solidly. "Don't refuse my help now," she said. "If you don't want to talk to me, then tell me who you want to talk to. Who do you think will help you the most right now? Who would you feel the most comfortable talking to? If there is someone, I will go and get them right away. If not, I will take my chances and get a therapist, which means you'll have to open up to a complete stranger. It might actually be better if you speak to a professional, but I'm taking a chance here because you have always been an unusual case, Sarah."

The doctor inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly, as if that had been a load off of her chest. "Now which is it going to be, Sarah?" she asked me.

For a long moment I simply stared at the opposite wall in stubborn defiance.

"I just want to be alone right now," I grumped.

Chakwas nodded. "Alright, I'll give you some time to think about it." With that she went to check on Irren for a moment, and then she matter-of-factly went to sit down at her workstation within the medical bay. She became engrossed with her work, although I knew she was keeping an eye out of me out of the corner of her eye.

Why the hell was she making me choose? And who would I choose?

HK and Abby were two of my best friends, but they didn't quite seem to get where I was coming from most of the time... or maybe they did, I don't know. But they couldn't help much.

I sighed. Sometimes, when I got really lost or frustrated, I just needed to do my own self-analysis. Sometimes an introverted mind, even a troubled one, had to work through some things on its own.

"Shepard," I blurted out, before I even realized what I was saying or why. I saw Chakwas turn toward me, raising an eyebrow in surprise. "I wanna talk to Shepard," I clarified.

"She is a very busy woman," Chakwas said. My expression must have looked very determined or something, though, because she finally gave a little nod. "I'll see if I can get a hold of her," she agreed after a moment.

I let out a soft sigh. I was still trying to sort out my feelings, and why I felt the way I did. Sometimes... I just needed time to work through my emotions when they were tangled up and clumped together like a dozen silk stockings caught together in a washing machine. You couldn't just snap your fingers and separate everything into a nice, tidy stack.

I wouldn't realize until later that one of my biggest problems had been subconscious all along... and it had to do with Commander Shepard. She was the one person who could help me sort through it, and it was something that she and I wouldn't understand or realize until after we talked.

* * *

><p><strong>(HK)<strong>

Now that Jack and I were officially engaged, Jack seemed eager to spend as much time with me as possible. After all, I would be going back to the Normandy soon, and she would be rejoining her students. So the two of us were... well, living it up.

We spent a couple of hours dancing in Purgatory, until both of us were too tired to continue. Then Jack took me up to the Presidium level, saying she had a few credits left to spare on a decent meal. "Maybe if I can't have sex with you, I can get you a little drunk at least," she said with a sneer as we took our seats at a restaurant table. I couldn't tell if she was kidding or not.

"I don't think so, dear," I said jokingly. I was a little more humorous than normal with Jack, trying to have fun. I did want to spend as much time with her as I could before I left, after all. "But a nice meal is...well, nice. So thank you."

"Yeah well, just stay away from everything on the upper half of the menu," Jack said as her dark-colored eyes scanned it over. "Looks like it costs as much as space shuttle. Hmmm..." She stroked her chin thoughtfully as she examined her options. "Eh, what the hell." She slammed the menu shut and put it down on the table. "Waiter!" she called out.

A fine-dressed young salarian approached. "Are you ready to order?" he asked.

"Burger and fries, for both of us," she said.

"Alright, ma'am... and what will your choice of beverage be?"

Jack pursed her lips, then shrugged. "Bring us a nice big bottle of Coke," she said. "And two glasses."

"Very well, I'll bring it to you shortly." With that, the salarian was gone.

"Damn cheapest thing on the menu," Jack muttered. "It better not taste like shit."

"Coke is good. Not my favorite soda, but it's pretty good," I said. It was impressive that Coke was even still around in this universe's current time. I suddenly felt myself wondering if any other sodas still existed. Well, I'm sure they did, but I wondered if they were the same. Dr. Pepper, Root Beer...were those brands still around? I was surprised I hadn't thought to pay attention before. Too much on my mind.

"Again, Jack, thank you. I truly appreciate it; all in all, this has been a pretty good day. We've had fun together and...well, it is the first time I think you and I have actually had fun together," I said with a chuckle. "I'm happy with where things are...and I'll definitely miss you when we're apart, but...I think it'll be good for us. We both have different things that we are meant to be doing, and I know you'll do great with your kids."

She smiled. "Just keep that ring on your finger," she told me, flicking her index finger at my left ring finger. "And we're good." She leaned forward and grasped my hand between both of hers, in what was probably the most romantic gesture she'd made since our engagement. "Right now," she said, "I just want to pretend that this is a perfectly normal afternoon somewhere. No Reapers, no Cerberus... nothing." She snorted. "Soon I'll have to wake up and return to reality, where I'll send those bastards to hell myself if I have to. But for now..." She squeezed my hand. "I can forget I have responsibilities... just for a little longer." She stared straight into my eyes.

I smiled at her. I really did think that I loved Jack. I'd been uncertain for so long, but...I truly did enjoy my time with her. We had fun today, and she was so sincere. I was very thankful to have her in my life. It was funny; this was the last thing I ever thought would happen to me. "Agreed," I simply said.

I heard someone approaching, and I turned my head, assuming it was the waiter, but it was someone that I didn't really expect to see...well, at least for a while:

Miranda. Miranda Lawson was here on the Citadel...like usual, and inside this restaurant?

"I see you wasted no time, Jack," Miranda remarked in her usual cool and collected tone. "HK. A pleasure to see that you're still alive, and a pleasure to see that Jack made it off of Grissom Academy. As I told Shepard, we live in interesting times."

Jack looked annoyed. "Well, if it isn't the Cerberus cheerleader," she said. Her eyes squinted as she sat back in her chair, looking Miranda's form up and down. "Or maybe that's ex-Cerberus cheerleader now," she remarked. "I don't see their brand on you anymore. What, did you finally get it through your head that they weren't the saviors you claimed they were?"

"I came to the realization that my time with them was done once we destroyed the Collector base. That realization was confirmed recently," Miranda said, as she pulled up a chair and sat down. "Though, you were too busy getting drunk to notice much at the time."

I gulped. Jack and Miranda hadn't met in ME3, as far as I knew, but both had...matured a lot, so I hoped this wouldn't turn bad. "Hello, Miranda," I said with a light, yet nervous, smile. "Nice to see you again."

"I spoke with Shepard earlier, as I'm sure you know. She told me about you and your companions being back. A little surprise, but I can't say I am one to talk," Miranda said, actually smiling slightly. "In this war, everyone needs everything that they can get to fight against the Reapers. If you can help her, then I have no objections or questions. I have my own things to worry about at the moment."

"My students and I will be kicking ass soon enough," Jack said. "Right now, the only thing I care about is protecting everyone I've grown to care about from the Reapers," her eyes narrowed, "and Cerberus."

"Do not worry, I don't disagree. I'd suggest that we continue to put our differences aside and fight our common enemies," Miranda said, still smiling as she looked at Jack. She had seemed to...mellow slightly. "Though, for now, I doubt we will cross paths much. Again, I have my own business to take care of, and I cannot stay in sight for long. I simply came to warn you of something, HK."

I blinked. "Me? Why?"

"Yes, me warning you instead of the other way around is a change, isn't it? Normally, I would probably like to relish it more," Miranda said with a chuckle. "It's Cerberus. Perhaps you already know, but I am certain that the Illusive Man already knows that you are alive, and he will be after you."

"I can kinda see that," I said, still not exactly sure, though. "Cerberus apparently attacked Sarah while she was in Huerta Memorial Hospital."

"The Illusive Man does not take interest in just anyone, and I suspect his main focus will be elsewhere, such as the Reapers and perhaps Shepard," Miranda said. "However, my basis for my theory is because of something that, well, I never told anyone during the mission to stop the Collectors."

I raised an eyebrow. "And that would be...?"

"The Illusive Man always had an...interest in you and your friends. He wanted me to keep tabs on you, and I believe he simply went along with Shepard's methods of dealing with you all just to appease her so that the Collectors would be stopped," Miranda explained to me, looking slightly thoughtful as she did so. "However, he was very intrigued by your abilities. I believe that he no doubt wanted to take you all to some Cerberus facility at some point for...examining. Had you not died, that probably would have taken place after the suicide mission."

"I always knew that the Illusive Man was delving into things he shouldn't," Jack chimed in. She was sitting back in her seat now, with one leg bent at the knee so that her ankle could rest atop her other knee. "As long as you and your friends stay close to Shepard, you should be alright," she said with a little nod toward me. It seemed that she really did trust the Commander.

I was in the process of mulling all this over. Miranda probably wouldn't bother to seek me out while she was in hiding, after already risking her neck to talk to Shepard, if it was wild speculation; at the same time, I wasn't sure what to make of it. The Illusive Man was someone that I hadn't liked from what I saw in the games, yet a man that I greatly feared to cross...although I suppose it was too late for that. I had one conversation with him the day that I first "arrived" on the Normandy, and he was...interesting then. Thankfully, though, I never saw him again. It was Shepard that did all of the communicating. I never knew what he thought of us, nor did I really think of it that often. At least, I didn't think that I did.

Now, though, he was indoctrinated, more ruthless than ever, and Shepard couldn't protect us from him like she did. On the other hand, being on her ship meant that she still could protect us in some ways from him. Although, the thought of him even being interested in us at all was...weird.

He'd already gone after Sarah, though, and there was that weird...change on Grissom Academy when they suddenly decided to destroy the place. What was that about? It couldn't have been me, could it?

"Agreed. I simply wanted to give you the warning. I have discovered personally in recent months that if you will not work with Cerberus, they don't see much of a need for you to work with anyone else, either," Miranda said, looking at me. She stood up. "Again, I need to get out of sight; I've taken a fairly large risk by being in public twice today. I need to get back to my own work."

I nodded. "I understand. Thank you, Miranda; I definitely appreciate it," I told her sincerely. Miranda and I always had a tense relationship, due to her own doubts and frustrations about us. I was hoping that was smoothed over now. "It was good to see you again."

She nodded as well. "It was...good to see you. Both of you, in fact. I am sure we'll encounter each other again," she said, glancing at me once again, with a look that basically said that I knew whether we would or not. She turned and casually walked away; within seconds, she was out of sight.

I looked at Jack, and sighed. "Well, okay, that was...unexpected," I said. "Nice, but unexpected. Not sure what to make of all of that."

"All I can say is that the bitch finally got some morals," Jack said with a little shrug. "Might be too little, too late, though."

Right at that moment, the salarian waiter reappeared with a tray of food. He set one plate down in front of me, and the other in front of Jack. Then he put the glasses down in front of us, and the large bottle of Coke between us.

"If you need anything else, let me know," the waiter told us, and then vanished.

Jack picked up her burger and, for a moment, I almost thought she was going to try stuffing the entire thing into her mouth at once. She managed about half of it, chomping it off and chewing it a little before swallowing in a loud, painful-sounding gulp.

"Not bad," she finally allowed. "I've had better, but not bad." Then she began to stuff the fries into her mouth so fast that I almost thought she was shoving them down her throat without even chewing or swallowing.

Apparently Jack would never be big on table manners.

I smirked. I was no slow eater, but I doubted that I could top her. I began to eat my meal myself, scarfing it down more than I thought I would; it had been awhile since I had food like this. Sometimes, I forgot how much I appreciated a simple burger and fries. "So," I said to her as we finished. "If we get married and have children, who's going to teach them manners?"

Jack gulped down her mouthful of burgers, and then seemed to ponder that thought for a moment. "Manners are just social games for diplomats and people who want to wear fancy clothes and impress everyone else." She let out a rude belch, though thankfully it wasn't too loud. "Once you run with the gangs for a few years, or hang out with a few krogans, you realize that it doesn't matter much. Mostly you just gotta watch who you're around, so that you can put on your 'social graces' act and not piss off anyone who can throw you in prison and swallow the key."

Why did I expect any different answer? I just blinked slightly. "I see. That's a...different way of looking at it," I remarked, shaking my head. Then again, I was really half and half on manners anyways. They were good, but not the most important things in the world. "You know, speaking of which, this is awfully early, because we have a war to survive first, and we're both pretty young...I mean, I'm an eighteen year old guy, but I am still curious. Do you want to have children someday?"

Jack actually froze for a split-second, with her glass of soda half-way to her lips. She said nothing at first, resuming the motion to bring the cup to her lips. For a moment I almost wondered if she was going to answer or not; she seemed intent on drinking the bubbly brown liquid until it was all gone.

Then she slammed the glass down against the tabletop, and she actually made a soft, lady-like burp for once. "Hmm," she finally purred, massaging the bridge of her nose as she considered my question. That was certainly a new mannerism for her. "I'm not really sure," she admitted. "I've already got my students, and they're the best thing that ever happened to me..." She gave me a meaningful, affectionate look. "Besides you, of course."

She leaned back in her chair, shoving her empty plate aside. "But well... I suppose now is as good a time as any to you." She frowned slightly. "I can't have kids."

I tried to resist the urge for my jaw to drop. I never knew that...and admittedly, I always wanted children. Then again, who said I was staying in this universe? And I suppose "me" in the real world could always have children somehow, but still, I was more shocked at the fact of Jack not being able to have children. "My visions never told me that," I admitted with a soft chuckle. "If you don't mind me asking...why not? Do you know?"

"Yeah, I know," Jack nodded. Her expression and tone of voice were serious, yet this seemed to be a fact that didn't bother her much. I couldn't tell if it was because she'd gotten used to it, or if she simply didn't want children to begin with. "You already know that I've been... with a lot of other people. Gang members, the occasional terrorist, even a few thieves and cut-throats. And well... some of them weren't exactly picky about doing me, especially when we got drunk or high on drugs. So..."

She slouched a bit, but her posture was more nonchalant than anything. "I ended up getting pregnant a few times," she admitted. "Like... four in total. Each time, I didn't want to deal with that, and I certainly didn't want the kid." Her eyes glazed over and she looked... detached. "They probably would have ended up just like me, if not worse. So... each time I got pregnant, I got an abortion. And I'm sure you know that if you do that too many times... your body just can't take it anymore. A doctor told me about five years ago that I can't carry a baby full-term anymore. Tough shit."

It suddenly hit me that the concept of 'abortion' had never really appeared in the Mass Effect universe from what I knew, but it had to be there. I mean, even in my time and reality, abortion was a controversial but known subject. With all of the technology today, I doubted it had gone away; in fact, I would've expected it to get bigger. It wasn't something I was necessarily for, really, but I didn't judge Jack for her decisions. I suppose I could understand why she felt how she felt. The type of environment Jack had lived in...that wasn't a place for protection during sex, or for raising babies.

"I'm sorry," I said honestly, looking at the woman that was now my fiancée with a sympathetic look. "I know that must have been hard. I...guess I never knew. There are still a lot of things about you, about other people here, that I suppose I don't know. That's just...wow."

"Yeah well, it doesn't even bother me," Jack told me. "If I really thought I was cut out to be a parent, I would have probably kept at least one of those babies. As it is..." She shrugged again. "I'd say that my students are enough for me. At least I know that I won't screw them up. As for future children..." She pursed her lips thoughtfully. "I'd rather not have a baby even if my body was still capable. I need to be on my feet and doing what I love, not with a stomach the size of a basketball waiting for a small human to pop out of my ass."

Well, no children from Jack, then. It was something that I had always liked the idea of having someday: Children. However, at the same time, if I wasn't meant to...then, well, I wasn't meant to. "I understand. What about adoption?" I asked her. I wasn't sure what adoption was like in this day and age, but there was no doubt that it was still around.

"Maybe," Jack said, "if it means a lot to you, I suppose we could talk about it more after the war is over... assuming we're still alive." She sighed. "I'm not sure how good I'd be with... infants or toddlers, though. I'd prefer an older kid that I could possibly work with."

She cocked her head thoughtfully. "Or if you really want a younger kid... I suppose we could hire a surrogate, and see if my eggs will work in another woman's body."

I shrugged. "We have a lot to focus on right now, like you said. And I'm eighteen years old; one of the last things I want right now is a child. And if we're meant to have one, we will; if we aren't, we won't. I suppose it is just something I wanted to talk about, you know, for the future, if we survive this war," I told her. And that was a huge uncertainty in itself. I was shocked that I was actually considering a future here, when I didn't even consider it home, when I didn't know what would become of myself. "I always knew that I wanted children someday, though. I wanted children to raise the right way and to love. I never knew my biological father, and to this day I still don't. I suppose I always wanted to be a better father to my own children, blood or adopted, if I were to have them."

Before she said anything, I found myself drifting off into more thoughts. If I were to have children here, in this universe...their lives would be so different from what I envisioned. Back at home, I wanted my kids to have a huge family; they'd have siblings close to their age, and they'd have grandparents that loved them. They'd have cousins, my sisters' kids, and beyond that, great aunts and uncles and great-grandparents maybe, and more cousins through all of that. It wouldn't be perfect, but it was what I always saw my children having; a lot of those things I didn't have. Well, I did, but not in the way that I wanted to have them. And beyond that, I always saw a life for them in the world that I knew. School, Church, sports...those probably still existed here, but not like I thought.

Things would be totally different here. They wouldn't have much of that. All of the family that they'd have would be Jack and myself...and there were new opportunities available for them here that I didn't even know about.

"Yeah well... let's just focus on right now, and reserve this conversation for when the war is over," Jack said. "If this war ends, and we're both still alive... then hell yeah, I'll help you make a kid-or at least find a kid-to celebrate." She poured us each a glass of Coke. "And let's drink to that," she said.

"Yeah, that's way down the line anyways, if it even happens, like you said. Right now...there are a lot of different things to think about, and a lot of different things to do," I said, taking my glass and raising it. "But for now...yeah, a toast to what may be there after the war."

She saluted me with her glass, and then she glugged it down in what seemed like a single gulp. This time she didn't even belch. I was starting to wonder if she was going to have a serious stomach ache later, after all this. "Hell yeah," she said again.

We looked at each other in silence for a few moments. Before either of us could break the silence, the salarian waiter returned. "Would either of you like anything else, or shall I get your bill?" he asked.

Jack glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, but stayed focused on me. "Want dessert?" she asked me.

I shook my head. "No, don't think so," I said. I looked towards the waiter. "You can get the bill, I think; thanks."

"Yep," Jack affirmed, and the salarian vanished to get the bill. A few moments later, he reappeared, and Jack flicked her credit chit onto it. "Be right back," the salarian said, and disappeared from sight yet again.

"Well," Jack said, "it's been fun. I'm glad we were able to do this, and... I hope we'll get the chance to do it again." She stretched her arms over her head, and yawned. "I gotta get back to my kids anyway," she said.

"It's been a good day, Jack. I am very glad that we were able to do it; I truly am thankful for you. Now, we both need to get back to our duties, but...we'll see each other again," I assured her with a light smile. "And...I'm really, really glad we worked everything out."

"Yeah, me too."

The salarian returned and handed Jack her credit chit back. She took it and slipped it into her pocket. Then she stood, and I stood; both of us faced each other.

"Well," she said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders, "good luck." She pressed her lips against mine and kissed me hard, then she pulled back. "And if Shepard doesn't keep you safe so that you can come back to me," she growled, "she'll have to answer to me."

"You know Shepard as well as I do," I told her. "She'll keep me safe."

Jack looked as if she was about to say something, but bit her tongue. "Take care of yourself," she said.

I raised an eyebrow. "Are you alright?" I asked her with a little bit of concern. "If you have something to say, now would be the time."

She nodded. "Just go already," she said, placing a hand on her hip. "If we keep dragging this out, we'll never get back to work."

"Are you sure? We won't see each other for a while," I said. I was a little uneasy now. What on earth could be wrong?

"It's nothing," she said. "Shepard just better take care of you, that's all." Then she sighed, and apparently decided to let what she'd been holding back slip. "Unlike what happened last time, on the Collector Base. But... I know we were on a mission, then. We all expected to die." She folded her arms, then seemed to dismiss it all. "I suppose I have nothing to gripe about there," she allowed.

"I know it is hard, and uncertain...but, we have to have faith. I don't even know one hundred percent what exactly is going to happen, as Grissom Academy proved once again," I told her with a sigh. I definitely understood what she meant. "But...we have to do what we have to do. And I think, for now...we'll be okay."

Jack seemed to accept that. "Just do your job, and I'll do mine. And after all of this is over..." She gave me a meaningful look. "I'm getting hitched, and then I'm getting laid," she stated.

I actually laughed. "Evidently so," I said. I stood for a few seconds, but Jack was right; we probably didn't need to drag this out any longer. I looked at her with some sadness, actually starting to get slightly emotional. Since when did I get so attached to Jack? "Goodbye, Jack."

With that, I turned and began to walk away.

Before I took more than two steps, I felt something from behind. It wasn't hard enough to be a slap, but it was definitely a smack. It took me a moment to realize that Jack had given me a firm pat on the rear.

"Just something to remember me by, you prude," she said with a playful smirk.

My eyes went wide, and I probably went red. "...thanks so much," I said with a laugh and some sarcasm.

"Anytime." With that she blew me a kiss, and then she was gone.

* * *

><p>"We all need to do our part, especially if it's something nobody else can do."<p>

**-David Anderson**

Commander Shepard's meeting with the Council had been slightly more productive than her last meeting with them. At least this time she knew that she could finally get to the summit. The asari ambassador stated that her people were going to stay out of this, thanks to old feuds and hard feelings amongst the other races (even if she didn't phrase it that way). But at least the turian Primarch was finally going to the Normandy so that they could meet Wrex and the salarian Dalatrass.

This meant that she wouldn't get any more emails spamming her inbox every hour from the Dalatrass, about how they were keeping her waiting and that she wasn't used to waiting for humans and krogans. One of the emails had gone so far as to say that she expected a formal reception when the Normandy arrived at the meeting place.

Wrex had finally sorted out everything he needed to attend to on Tuchanka, and he was already on his way to the summit. Part of Shepard simply hoped that the Normandy would get there before Wrex did. She liked him, and she trusted him to a point, but one area she did not trust him was when it came to his temper.

Shepard made a quick radio call to EDI and Traynor, so that they could spread the word that the Normandy was leaving soon. In essence, everybody had to get back to the Normandy within fifteen minutes of when Shepard herself got back, or they'd be in hot water.

In truth, Shepard wouldn't leave until everyone was onboard. But she ran a tight ship and she wanted to make it clear that tardiness wouldn't be tolerated, especially in this case. If anyone was more than five minutes late, they'd receive a stern lecture at her earliest convenience. But these were Alliance Marines; she was confident that she had nothing to worry about.

By the time she got back to the Normandy, nearly everyone was back onboard. The only ones who brought up the rear were James and a lieutenant named Victoria Hawke. Apparently James had been playing cards with someone down in the refugee area; she wasn't sure what Hawke had been up to. But it didn't matter at the moment.

Shepard gave Joker the order to take the Normandy out and head toward the rendezvous, and then she was just about to head toward the war room to speak with Victus when Dr. Chakwas contacted her via radio.

Shepard sighed inwardly as she answered it. "This is Shepard," she responded. Normally she did her best to make time for her crew as much as she could. But the days when she didn't have the fate of the galaxy resting on her shoulders were long gone.

"I'm sorry to bother you, Commander," Dr. Chakwas' voice said. "But I have an urgent matter I need to discuss with you."

Didn't everybody right now? "What is it?" Shepard asked, keeping her tone civil.

"Sarah is suffering from post-traumatic-stress-disorder, and it has been getting worse," Chakwas answered. "And since she has always been a... unique case, I gave her the option of speaking to a specialist, or choosing someone to talk to."

"Wouldn't it make the most sense to have her talk to a professional therapist?" Shepard asked.

"Yes, but I'm not sure if she would choose to open up to just anyone," Chakwas replied. "I figured it would be better if she chose her own... counselor. It's worth a try at least."

"I see," Shepard said warily. "So who did she choose?" The Commander got her mental checklist ready, preparing to use her Spectre status to get whomever it was onboard the Normandy as quickly as possible, once they got back from the summit. She wasn't going to turn the Normandy around and go back the Citadel right now.

"She wants to talk to you, Commander," Chakwas revealed.

Shepard stopped dead in her tracks for a moment. "Me?" she said in surprise. "She wants to talk to me?"

"Apparently. I think it could be good for her, Commander. Possibly even both of you," Chakwas suggested. "It might give you a chance to get to know her better, and understand her."

Shepard didn't say what was floating through her mind. She didn't say that she had enough fucking problems to deal with at the moment. She didn't say that a professional shrink would be far more qualified to deal with this. She didn't even point out that she would soon be overseeing an important meeting that might determine the fate of Earth, and many other worlds.

"Shepard?" Chakwas pressed.

"Fine," Shepard finally said, reluctantly. "I'll meet with the Primarch to make sure he's settling in, then I'll be right now."

"Thank you, Commander."

Shepard sighed. "Don't mention it." _Seriously, don't._

* * *

><p><strong>(Sarah)<strong>

Shepard had agreed to speak to me the next time she had some time free. I had no idea how readily she had agreed to it, whether she had said yes with reluctance, or if Chakwas had to convince her to do it.

Irren was released from the medical bay to a spare bed in the crew quarters, with firm instructions to take it easy for the next couple of days. Chakwas summoned the Commander the next time Shepard was available, and then the doctor herself left for a lunch break to give us some privacy.

At least, as much privacy as anybody could have with those big, huge windows. EDI was nice enough to lock the door though, apparently. So she said at least.

Commander Shepard sat down in a chair beside my bed, looking at me thoughtfully. I wondered if she was thinking along similar lines, or simply trying to gather her thoughts.

"So... nice day," I commented, breaking the ice with a meek little shrug.

"As nice as it can get," Shepard said, leaning back in her chair. "How is the physical therapy coming along?"

"Good," I answered simply. "I mean, I guess it's going good. I can move my fingers a bit, and make a fist sometimes. I can't seem to do much with my arm yet without Chakwas supporting it, though."

I sighed. "Do you really want to do this?" I asked, a bit testier than I intended. "I mean... I know you're busy."

Shepard nodded. "I want to help you, Sarah. I don't know if I can or not, but it doesn't mean that we shouldn't try to work things out at an agreeable level."

I nodded a little. "Okay," I said. "Well, um..." I wasn't even sure how to begin. It wasn't like I was ever good at talking to Shepard. She always intimidated me quite a bit, and I guess... it felt like I was never good enough for her.

I was going to dismiss that thought, but I changed my mind. Didn't HK and Abby tell me once that ignoring problems or keeping them bottled up didn't solve anything? I couldn't keep withdrawing into myself and throwing my pity parties. That just... caused everything to build up to the point where I flipped out, like a volcano or something.

"Commander," I said in a very serious tone, "can I be... completely honest about something here?"

At her nod, I continued. "You know something?" I stated. "From day one, it's always been the same thing. I've been having a lot of trouble trying to fit in, to learn my way around, but everybody always, ALWAYS, expected me to just jump right in and be perfect just because HK and Abby were perfect. If I messed up, everybody else expected me to apologize or go lock myself in my quarters. Or do more cleaning. Nobody stopped to think how all of this might be affecting me.

"And then," I said, my tone becoming more venomous, "HK and Abby always got the special treatment. You asked them for all the advice, you took them on missions, and left me out in the dark. I realize I've done some stupid things, but you never bothered to understand where I was coming from. I just..."

I sighed. Was I just making everything worse all over again? "I'm tired of everybody expecting me to be perfect, and to be somebody I'm not," I sighed heavily. "I'm sure I can learn, but I need everybody to stop treating me like I'm two years old and give me a better chance. Then maybe... if you guys are willing to listen to me better, I could give you guys more of a chance, too."

That actually felt like a huge load off my mind. Something I'd been keeping penned up for a long time. I then realized that that was one of the problems I'd been having... both in my life back home, and in this world as well. I'd always sucked at communicating, because I was an introvert and I always felt like I was being rude if I expressed my true feelings. That also meant I thought others were being rude and disrespectful if they spoke their minds or expressed their true feelings.

That was... a pretty messed up way of looking at things, but it had very much to do with growing up in a sheltered home. You just acted stupid sometimes, and you didn't understand tact sometimes, or how to interact with others. What made it worse was when other people didn't understand that you didn't understand.

I stared at Shepard, swallowing and pressing my lips into a thin line. What was she going to do? Was she going to yell at me, or point out everything I'd done wrong? What was she going to say?

She took what I said with a stoic face, interlocking her fingers together and resting them on her chest. The light reflected off of her auburn hair, giving it depth and structure, and a shadow cast by stray strands added an extra angle to her cheekbones. She was like a cold statue, calculating.

"This is a two-way street," she said finally. "I know where you're coming from. Maybe I should have listened better. That's a failing of mine. But I think that most of this was and is mental, especially in the beginning. When I asked for answers I got hesitant replies. I'm not accustomed to pulling teeth when I need information right away, and I'm not another person's toy. If it were a different situation, yes, I probably would have paid more attention. You found a safe place with Garrus, and I wasn't going to contest that. But the fact was, I had things I needed to do. Okay? And I got impatient, especially because I knew you enjoyed it when you riled other people up like that. You like to go looking for trouble - not because you're not perfect just the way you are, but because I think you're scared, Sarah. And fear is something I understand very well."

I frowned a little, trying to keep my emotions in check as I considered her words very carefully. I could definitely see where she was coming from.

"This may sound... childish, and it probably is," I finally said, "but I don't like dealing with... blunt personalities. It's easier when everyone tries to stop and think about where everyone else is coming from, and being gentle."

I sighed. "But," I said out loud, "I guess Reapers and Cerberus aren't going to put aside their guns and listen while we sweetly tell them our side, either."

I also realized... maybe I did think of Shepard as sort of... a person to toy around with, along with everyone else. This was no longer a game, it was real life. I had to show other people the respect they deserved.

"Just because you don't like dealing with blunt personalities doesn't mean you shouldn't learn how to deal with them," Shepard said. "And if we could all just put down our guns and make friends in a land of rainbows and sunshine, hell yeah, I'd be doing that right now. But we can't. The galaxy is in a state of war."

I bit my lower lip, chewing over her words a little. "In other words," I said thoughtfully, more to myself than to her, "I need to be a team player, now more than ever."

I rested my head back against my pillow for a moment, thinking. It was safe to say that HK and Abby had had the same "vision" that I did. And the three of us hadn't had the chance to talk about it yet.

Then again... what would happen even if we did talk about it? What harm would it do at this point, to mention a little more to Shepard? Wouldn't it help her to make a better, more informed decision if I spilled more of the beans?

Besides... back on Menae, I told Garrus that the Primarch was going to die... although that still happened anyway. But maybe this would help things out a little more, if Shepard could be... better informed.

I was sure that part of her still wanted to get the information out of us anyway. Part of me was surprised she wasn't making demands on EDI-I certainly would if I was in her shoes.

Then again, EDI didn't know about the Extended Cut stuff yet. So I knew stuff that she didn't, and I was in a unique position to tell Shepard some important information.

"Okay," I finally said, looking at Shepard. "Listen... I'll tell you at least some stuff." I reached out with my good arm, grabbing one of Shepard's hands into my own. I wasn't sure why I was doing that, maybe I just needed a subconscious reassurance that she wasn't going to leave the room. "I'll tell you about how the war ends, okay? It's gonna depend on you anyway."

Shepard looked away thoughtfully. "I can't lie. I want to know. But the question is-should I? We came here to talk about you and your problems. Why do you want to talk about mine?"

"I think we all have the same problems right now," I gulped. I realized I was clinging to her hand, but I didn't care. "I'm not going to tell you everything that leads up to the final... confrontation with the leader of the Reapers." Yeah, that was one way to refer to the godchild. "But I can tell you about the choices you are gonna have to make. And maybe it'll give you more time to think about it, and make a better choice." Wasn't that how it worked best, anyway? If you simply had the choices thrown at you out of the blue, that sometimes lead to a rash decision. And well... everyone's lives were at stake here.

"Okay," she said. "Do your worst."

"Okay," I said, taking a deep breath. "This is from the... vision you saw me having earlier," I told her. "And well..."

I paused for a moment, gathering my thoughts. Then I launched into what I felt was the briefest and most informative description of it all-and I knew that EDI was listening. Joker probably was, too.

"You'll end up with four choices," I told her seriously. "Here's how it's going to work. The Crucible is going to... well, let's just say it'll be right there, where the leader of the Reapers is. You'll be able to control the Reapers, but in doing so you'll lose your life; you're essence will become an AI that will replace the leader of the Reapers.

"Or," I continued, "you can choose to destroy the Reapers, but... that method will mean wiping out all of the geth, too. And it'll severely damage all technology out there.

"Or," I went on, "you can choose... synergy, which will bring peace with the Reapers, and make everybody techno-organic. For this option, you really gotta get as many brilliant brains to work on the Crucible as possible.

"And," I took a deep breath, "if you choose to reject these choices..." I bit my lower lip, and stopped talking.

Shepard merely raised her eyebrow.

"If you choose to do nothing, everybody dies," I said. "Buuuut... Liara's time capsules-oh, she'll tell you about that later on-will work. The next cycle will be able to beat the Reapers..." I furrowed my brow. "I think," I added quickly.

"You think," Shepard said. "But do you actually know?"

"Oh I know that the Reapers will be stopped when a future cycle finds Liara's time capsule full of data," I clarified. "I'm just not sure if it'll be the next cycle, or the one after that, specifically."

The Commander seemed to chew on this for a moment. Her sapphire eyes were cold and calculating as she analyzed everything she'd just been told. "Did your... visions reveal any other alternative?" she finally asked.

I shook my head. "Nope."

"So," she said slowly, "it is possible to control the Reapers?" Her eyes narrowed fractionally, and she seemed to be contemplating that option.

"Yep," I confirmed with a little nod.

"You're sure that I wouldn't become indoctrinated?"

"I'm sure. None of my... visions showed anything about you, or anyone else on the Normandy, getting indoctrinated. But," I added thoughtfully, "it's um.. possible for the Normandy to get captured. You just gotta make sure you're extra careful when you go exploring or scanning areas of space where there are Reapers. If they capture the Normandy, then... bye-bye Normandy and crew."

"I need to know more specifics," Shepard said, obviously warming up to the subject now that I was opening up more. "Which systems will they attack the Normandy in? When will we be in the most danger?" Her fingers were steepled in front of her now, with her elbows resting on her knees. She seemed to study me intensely over the top of her hands.

I frowned. Unfortunately this was one area that I just couldn't give a helpful answer. It depended on how well the person playing Mass Effect 3 was doing, really. You had to use the controls to move the little Normandy ship around the screen, scan the area, and get out of the system before they could come get you.

"I'm sorry," I said, thinking about what Abby would say in my place. "But that's very... vague. My visions don't show any specific incidents, but there's just enough to warn about the possibility of the Normandy being captured by Reapers."

"I see. So you can't get any more specific than that?" Shepard furrowed her brow.

"Nope, sorry," I said apologetically. "And," I said a bit defensively, "Abby and HK will say the same thing if you ask them." Okay, so I was still a little sore about her playing favorites with them during the last mission. Even if Shepard and I were making some progress in this conversation.

She seemed to pick up on my defensiveness a little, possibly even the reason behind it. "Alright," she said, accepting my answer with small nod. She opened her mouth, and then closed it. "We don't have to keep talking about this right now," she told me. Her face softened just a little. "I'm here to talk to you, about what's on your mind, and you were the one who asked me here. So, talk to me. What else is bothering you?"

Suddenly I felt like I was seeing the mother hen side of Shepard, the one I always felt was there deep inside of any strictly played Paragon Shepard in Mass Effect. The insecure, attention-seeking part of me almost wanted to take advantage of her willingness to listen, to tell her about every little detail of my life just to see what she'd think or say.

But over the years, I'd learned that you can only talk someone's ear off for so long before they lost enough interest-or the ability-to keep listening. Shepard might be... well, Shepard, but she was still human. She wasn't a god, and she wasn't superwoman. Even her attention span would only last so long before she would leave or dump me onto someone else.

And that was where the two-way street came in. She was offering her hand to me, so to speak. But it was my responsibility to focus on the relevant issues, and to respect the fact that she was taking time out of her busy day to sift through my troubled mental state.

I sighed. "Well," I said slowly, "I just... really wish the dreams would stop. It seems like every time I close my eyes and drift off, I keep seeing the same things. I'm running through the woods, where the husk spider thing that killed me is trying to lead me somewhere, usually to a clearing where I get ambushed by a regular husk. And..." I gulped. "If I don't follow the spider, or if I try to run, it comes after me and it always manages to rip my throat out again."

I shuddered, trying to keep the memory and the vivid sensations that came with it at bay as I spoke of it. I touched the scar on my throat tenderly. "This scar also... burns whenever I dream about it," I whispered. "And it also burned on Menae, when the Reapers spoke to me through a husk."

"The Reapers spoke to you on Menae?" Shepard asked in a serious tone, concerned.

"Yeah," I nodded. "When I got scared and ran out of the turian camp, I came face to face with a husk. Some Reaper started talking to me, and..." I trembled in spite of myself. I bit my lower lip, trying to regain my composure enough to continue.

"Hey, it's okay." Shepard placed a hand on my shoulder, a gentle yet secure touch. It was as if she was trying to keep me here with her, in the present, and remind me that I wasn't alone in this.

And that was when I began to realize the true significance of this visit. Something inside me desperately needed to know that Shepard cared about me enough to take the time to talk to me, to give me a simple, compassionate gesture that she never showed me before. It was always reserved for HK, Abby, and the rest of her crew... but she never seemed to care much about me. I was always just the useless third wheel, the asset that was too valuable to let out of her sight only because I knew too much.

But... she really did want me to get better. She was showing that me to now. And somehow, that made a whole lot of difference to me. It made me actually want to get better, and to do my part.

"Thanks, Commander," I said, my voice thick with emotion. My vision blurred somewhat with heavy tears, though none of them escaped my eyelids. I managed to blink them back before they fell. "I really appreciate what you're doing for me, and I promise I'll never cause any problems on the Normandy again," I practically gushed with feeling. I meant every word, too.

Something in my sincerity must have touched something in her. The corners of Shepard's lips lifted into a slight smile. I... almost felt like something passed between us when we met each other's eyes briefly. I wasn't sure what it was, or if I would ever understand completely what just happened. Somehow I just knew that... everything was going to be okay from now on, especially if I applied myself better and acted like a team-player instead of a trouble-maker.

I just had to stop being scared all the time, and I had to treat these people like real people, not toys from a computer game. And I had nothing to worry about. We could beat the Reapers, and if I didn't survive... I'd just go home.

"Keep talking," Shepard urged me gently, removing her hand from my shoulder. "I've still got an hour before I have to go back to work."

I gave her another grateful glance. "Well," I continued slowly, "on Menae... the Reapers spoke to me. They wanted to know everything I knew, and..."

I continued speaking for the rest of the hour, simply telling Shepard everything. She listened silently, just letting me get it out of my system, understanding that I just needed someone to listen.

Specifically, I needed Commander Amelia Shepard to listen and understand, to prove that she was willing to take time out of her busy day to give me some attention if I needed it. To show that she cared about me as an individual, not just to pump my brain for information or shove me in a room to keep me out of trouble.

By the time the hour was up, I felt mentally exhausted and my throat was a little hoarse. I rested my head back on the pillow, staring up at the ceiling.

Shepard rose, but she didn't leave immediately. She moved a little closer to my bedside, and she patted my arm. "Do you feel better?" she asked.

I nodded. "Yeah, I'm feeling better," I confirmed. "I just want to rest now."

"Okay. Get some sleep, and I'll check in on you later." She moved away toward the door, and I watched her go. However, she paused briefly at the door after it opened. "And Sarah?" she said.

"Huh?" I said. "Yeah?"

"I am glad you're back." With that, she left.

After the doors closed behind her, I let out a shrill squeal that actually made my throat feel raw afterwards. I coughed, and I rubbed my scar gently.

"Sarah?" EDI sounded confused, and a little concerned. "Are you alright?"

I had to clear my throat before I could talk again. "Yeah. Why?"

"That high-pitched noise you made," she replied. "I was uncertain what to make of it. Are you in pain?"

"No," I said with a hoarse laugh. "Actually, I haven't been happier."

"Maybe we should check what kind of drugs Chakwas put in her system." Why did it seem like I could always count on Joker to make snarky remarks at random times?

"No," I said, my face nearly splitting in half from the grin that my mouth grew into. "Commander Shepard cares about me! She likes me!" I let out another little squeal. "She doesn't hate me! And she's not keeping me around just because I know too much! She cares!" Suddenly I felt like I had been transformed into a loony, laughing hyena-at least, that's what you'd probably think from all the noise I was making.

"That's it, she's lost it," Joker commented.

"I do not understand this form of human behavior," EDI said, sounding puzzled.

"I told you already, she's gone kookoo for Cocoa Puffs," Joker retorted. "As if she wasn't already."

I no longer even cared that I was being talked about by two people who weren't even in the same room with me, as if I was not even in this room. I just grinned even more and let them talk.

"I find that doubtful, Jeff. Sarah's metabolic ratings have improved, and she seems intent on improving herself. She does not seem insane."

"Yeah well, it depends on what you call insane."

"Perhaps you are not the best person to ask for examples on basic human behavior."

"What makes you say that?"

"Because you will not answer any of my questions. You always deflect them with humor, or other remarks."

"Well, if you don't like my answers, ask somebody else. Ask Shepard for all I care."

"Hmmm..."

So that's how it started.


	18. Chapter 18

**Author's Note: **Once again, we appreciate all of the reviews you leave us! They make an already enjoyable task even better. Things are going on in our lives right now that make this a little bit harder to do on a regular basis. We'll always keep it going, but please don't get discouraged by the wait. It's a project that we love, and we're not going to abandon it! Enjoy!

-Abby

* * *

><p><strong>(HK)<strong>

After returning to the Normandy, my thoughts immediately shifted from that goodbye with Jack to reuniting with Sarah. Goodness, I hadn't seen Sarah, literally _seen_ her, since... well, before she died in Shepard's quarters. Unless you counted her tormenting me in her husk form, but that wasn't Sarah. That was Harbinger who had all but mutilated her body.

Now, though, I could see her again, and I was looking forward to that. It was the first time I felt like I was actually looking forward to something since being back here. I wasn't exactly sure where Abby was; I hadn't seen her since getting back onto the Normandy, but before I could go talk to Sarah, I heard that Shepard had gone down to see her. I waited for a bit, and after they were done, I immediately bolted to the Medical Bay.

I knew I wasn't in for a pleasant sight. Sarah had a prosthetic leg and arm; those weren't bad, but seeing a friend suddenly missing not one but two limbs was a little bit of a daunting thought. Admittedly, I got a little uncomfortable when seeing someone only missing one limb, even if I shouldn't. It just made me feel bad for them, and Sarah was no different. She'd been through the ringer.

Walking into the MedBay, I immediately smiled when I saw Sarah. I darted to her bedside. "Sarah!" I exclaimed happily. "Oh, Sarah, it is so good to see you. My goodness, it's been awhile. How are you?! Wow...I don't even know where to start."

For a moment she looked a little distracted, as if part of her mind was elsewhere. It seemed to take her a moment to focus on the present, and on me. It made me wonder if she was still thinking about whatever she and Shepard discussed. Plus... well, she had been through a lot.

"Hi," she finally said. "I'm doing okay. How are you?" She had a quiet, thoughtful manner about her.

"I'm good. It is so good to see you again," I said, taking a seat in a chair beside her bed. "You've been missed around here. It's been...different."

"Heh, not too different I guess," Sarah murmured. She had her hands folded atop her chest, and they both looked real. I couldn't tell either of them apart. She glanced at me every so often when she spoke, but otherwise she seemed to stare straight ahead, through the window. "I managed to annoy Joker and piss Kasumi off. I think I may have annoyed Liara a little... not sure."

She sighed, then turned the subject over to me. "What've you been up to?"

I'd pursue the hand thing in a moment. "Well..." I said, chuckling slightly. "I'm engaged."

NOW I had her full attention. Her eyebrows shot up and she stared at me as if I'd grown a third nostril. "What?" she asked. She looked like she was trying to make sure her ears were working right.

"Okay, this is going to sound a little awkward and out of the blue," I answered, starting to laugh. That was a good conversation starter, for sure! A part of me couldn't wait to see Abby's reaction, either. "But Jack...well, I dunno if you know this or not, but we just finished Grissom Academy. Long story short, Jack and I got back together, and at Purgatory tonight, she proposed to me."

Sarah's eyelids flickered like a set of butterfly wings for a few seconds, until she finally answered. "Uh... wow," she said. "So you're getting married? I mean... wow." She shook her head a little at the thought, and then she gave a small grin. "When's the wedding? Are me and Abby going to be your bridesmaids? Maybe EDI could be the flower girl, and Garrus could be the best man..."

She stopped, and shook her head. "Never mind, those are silly thoughts," she sighed. "You know, we may not even be here when this war is over. You know..." She gulped. "You know what happened last time," she breathed. Her eyes got that distant look again, and I could tell that this wasn't easy on her.

I scratched my head. "Well, usually the guy has grooms men and not bridesmaids, but if you wanted to be...grooms maids or something...maybe Jack would let-" I began, but stopped. She was right; these were silly thoughts, and we didn't know how this war would end. Especially for us. "Never mind, you're right. I don't know if we'll end up getting married at all, between you and me. We don't know if we'll survive this war...we don't even know if everyone else here will survive the war."

I hoped they would; I intended to make sure they would, but I'd been taught too many times that you could never be certain of some things, especially your own thoughts.

"Are you alright, Sarah?" I asked curiously, but seriously. "Honestly. You don't seem quite yourself. I know you wouldn't be, given the circumstances, but you've been through a lot. I'm concerned for you."

"Thanks," she said simply, getting more of that glazed over, distant look again. "I think I'll be okay. It's just..." She grimaced, squeezing her eyes shut momentarily. "I've been having a lot of dreams lately, bad ones. I keep hearing the Reapers in my dreams... I know they spoke to me on Menae. And... I also keep seeing Sederis in my dreams, coming at me with a knife to finish the job. That and..." She hesitated, licking her lips nervously. "I think I'm having weird memories or something. Like... back when I was turned into a husk, after I died... I think I was still connected to... that body."

She shivered a little. "And sometimes... all of this makes my scar burn." She tugged down her turtleneck a bit so that I could see the ugly, nasty scar on her throat. It was the very spot where the husk spider had gotten her, and it was the only one that remained from when she was attacked.

That immediately raised a question in my mind. Why did Sarah have that scar, and Abby had no scars from her previous time here?

Sarah being traumatized was understandable, although the dreams about the Reapers were disturbing. I remembered Garrus mentioning that she was hearing husk and Reaper voices. That signified indoctrination, yet Sarah seemed to be fine. However, some of that was bound to happen after you were a husk...even if your body was sort of back to normal, or whatever happened.

The scar was interesting, though. I didn't recall seeing that before. Not even when she was a husk, although she was awfully deformed by then.

"Um, if you don't mind me asking, where exactly did you get that scar?" I asked hesitantly, not wanting to offend her or sound stupid, but I was curious.

"I don't know, it was just... there, when I popped up on Menae," Sarah said with a shrug. She fingered it thoughtfully with her good hand, and then yanked her fingers away. Either it was tender to the touch, or she didn't want to think about it too much. "I know it was where that husk spider thing got me. But... I'm not sure why it stayed there. I don't even know why it burns every time I have... dreams about the Reapers."

I raised an eyebrow. "Hmm, that is odd. I don't remember hearing about that when we learned about indoctrination in our visions. And...why don't Abby and I have scars? I mean, we both had taken some heavy hits by the time we died. I should be ridden with bullet wounds," I remarked, wondering about the difference amongst the scars or lack thereof. "Maybe it's because it was a husk? And maybe that's why...all of this is happening or something? I don't know. I never knew the specifics of the Reapers talking to you on Menae."

Sarah pressed her lips into a thin line. "You know what?" She said with a furrowed brow. "I've had enough of this." She used her good arm to fling aside the blanket that had been covering her. Her prosthetic arm was draped limply at her side, and it continued to hang feebly from her as she forced herself into a sitting position. She slid her good arm beneath her prosthetic leg, just under the knee, as she moved herself into a seated position with both legs hanging over the edge.

"I'm starting to get some feeling in my new limbs," she said. "But I can't move them yet." She gestured at me. "Help me up," she demanded. "I'm sick of being in here, and I want to move around."

"Sarah, it is not recommended for you to leave the medical bay at this time," EDI's voice spoke over the speakers.

I stood up, and began to try to help Sarah up, though I was hesitant; I looked up at the ceiling, wondering what EDI would think. Hopefully I wouldn't get thrown in the brig for mutiny or something. "Are you sure this is a good idea?" I asked her with a lot of uncertain in my voice. "And why do you look like you still have all your arms and legs?"

"They're some kind of new prototype, I guess," Sarah answered. "They're a mixture of my own... replicated tissues, and tech. I guess it means I'm the Bionic Woman now." She snorted at her own joke. "Anyway, I want to walk, and... me and Chakwas have been making some progress. Can you help me up, let me lean on you?"

"Yes, of course," I said. Looking to the ceiling again, I spoke up again. "I'm sure we'll be fine, EDI."

I gradually and shakily began to help Sarah walk a little bit, starting to move towards the door. "Feeling alright?" I asked, just for assurance, as we progressed to the exit of the MedBay.

She kept her hand gripped on the back of her new leg, above the knee. She seemed to be trying to force it to work, gritting her teeth as she tried to feel it moving, and trying to get her brain to work with the new limb. "Ugh, this is so frustrating!" she exclaimed. "I feel like a big baby, trying to learn how to walk again. I can twitch my toes and feel my hand against my new leg, but it won't MOVE on its own." She gritted her teeth in irritation.

"Don't over-exert yourself. I believe you can do it, but these things take time," I said, secretly praying that she'd be able to move, either now or whenever the time was right. "You lost two limbs and now you are trying to make two new ones work. It is going to take some time. There's no need to rush."

She ended up losing something in the stride she was forcing herself to make; her ankle bent at an awkward angle, causing her new leg to collapse entirely underneath her. She ended up falling against me, and grabbing me to keep from falling-I acted out of reflex, grabbing her before she could fall too far.

"Damnit-ouch!" She hissed.

"As I said, it is not advisable that you leave the Medical Bay," EDI's voice again chimed in. "Especially without Dr. Chakwas or a medical personnel overseeing it. There is a high probability of hindering your new prosthetic leg rather than helping it."

"Sarah, are you sure you want to do this? We can always go back and sit down if you want," I encouraged, still holding her and keeping her from falling onto the floor. "You don't have to do this now."

"Oh hell yes I'm going to do this now," Sarah said stubbornly. "Look, there are some exercises Chakwas told me to do, to get used to moving the new limbs. I've been slacking off because I just... haven't felt like doing it much. But if it will distract me from these stupid dreams and get me out of here sooner-hell yeah I'll do them!" She looked down at the floor. "Help me sit down on the floor," she requested. "And... maybe you could help me do these exercises."

"Alright, I'll help you," I told her, slowly starting to ease her down onto the floor. Soon, she was sitting there on her own. I sat down across from her. "Okay. What do we do first? I'm clueless here, so you're the leader."

"Okay, here's what you do." She gestured at me. "Scoot back a bit, and let me stretch my legs out a little more."

I scooted back until I was sitting about three feet from her. She rested her good leg on the floor, stretching it out in front her. She then used her good arm to get her other leg into position beside it. "Okay," she said, sounding slightly breathless. "I want to do one of the exercises that Chakwas keeps recommending. First, put your hand on the bottom of my new foot, and... put your other hand halfway between my ankle and knee, for support." She stared at me, obviously waiting for me to do this before explaining the next step.

Doing these type of things always confused me; I'd never been one for physical exercises, although I suppose that serving on board the Normandy had forced me to change that somewhat. Nonetheless, I put my left hand on the bottom of her foot, and my right hand half-way between the ankle and the knee, getting a firm grip on it.

Sarah was shaking her head. "Not quite like that," she corrected me. "Put your right hand on the bottom of my leg and hold it up-yeah, like that. That's good. Now just keep my foot level with my leg. Okay, what we need to do is you are gonna gently push on the bottom of my foot, so that my knee gets pushed toward me until it touches me. Then I'm gonna see if I can make my foot push back against your hand. If that doesn't work... we escort my leg back and forth, and hope I can get a feel for it and start moving it. Got it?"

Nodding and hoping I understood, I began to slowly push her foot up towards Sarah herself. "Is this alright?" I asked as I continued to delicately push it.

"That's good, that's good," Sarah said with an eager nod. "Okay, a little more... stop right there. Now..." She gritted her teeth, and tried to focus. She placed her hand on her prosthetic knee, trying to gently urge it to move forward on its own. I allowed my hand to be pushed back as her foot pressed against it, and I kept my other hand under the lower half of her leg for support.

"You know," Joker's voice said over the speakers, "this reminds me of something I saw from a video on the extranet. This would be the perfect time for Jack to walk in..."

"Joker," Sarah warned through gritted teeth, "shut up."

"You may wish to keep that to yourself, Jeff," EDI's voice said. "I have seen the sites you have bookmarked on the extranet; many of them are illegal in Alliance space."

"Yeah well, we're not exactly in Alliance space," Joker said.

I almost said something about the fact that if that were to happen, Sarah and I would probably have matching prosthetics...on all eight of our arms and legs. But I decided to bite my tongue. "Are you doing alright, Sarah?" I asked, deciding to focus on her. I'd say she was doing pretty good, but I could never be sure in these sorts of things.

She grunted. "I think I'm starting to feel it moving," she said. "Just a little. Come on, push it back toward me."

We continued like this for some time, and Sarah seemed to make gradual progress. After an hour or so, she actually offered some resistance in her leg to my pushing it against her chest. By the second hour, she reached the point where she was moving her toes inside her sock, and she could flex her foot back and forth a little on her ankle.

"Yeah," Sarah said breathlessly, "maybe after a few more days of this... I might actually be standing."

I smiled at her. I was uncertain when we started, and when Sarah wanted to leave the Medical Bay, I was almost scared, but...this had been for the better. She was already starting to improve; it made me happy to see, and I believed that it made her a little happier, too. "I'm very proud of you, Sarah. Very proud," I encouraged her honestly. "You did great. Really great."

"Thanks," she said appreciatively. "Now help me back to the bed. I think I need a break."

"Agreed."

I helped her up, slowly but surely, and then got her back to her bed. I helped her lay down inside of it, and get into a comfortable position. "There," I said, after she looked to be alright. "That should do it."

"Thanks," she said. "And," she added, "it was great seeing you." She grinned. "By the way, I think I made some progress with my new hand, too." Her face got a mischievous look about it, as if she had done something.

I hadn't seen that look on her face since the day she shoved the turian sex manual-the one Mordin gave her-into my face and made me look.

"Sarah..." I said suspiciously. "What did you do?"

Apparently her new hand could make a fist, but she had trouble opening it. She used her good hand to uncurl her fingers, and it revealed the shiny golden ring in her palm.

I glanced at my finger. Sure enough, it was gone.

I looked back at Sarah, shocked and almost slightly embarrassed. "Oh dear, my ring! Whoops!" I exclaimed, probably going slightly red as I snatched the ring out of her hand. "Thank you. Yes...Jack gave this to me after I accepted her proposal...I imagine she wouldn't be happy if I lost it the same day that I got it."

She chuckled a little. "Yeah... I guess she wouldn't." She laid back on the bed a bit, sighing softly and gazing up at the ceiling. "I'm gonna get out of here, soon," she vowed. "Even if I have to do this every day."

"You will, Sarah, you will. It's in my thoughts and prayers," I assured her with a small smile, starting to calm down after the brief ring incident. "You'll be okay. I just know it. It is a miracle you made it this far...I mean, look at it this way: You survived. You are the only person in this galaxy to be a husk and then come back, get crushed by an avalanche and lose an arm, lose a leg in a fight with Jona Sederis, and still be alive and kicking."

"Oh, soon I will be kicking," Sarah told me. "I'm gonna do my best to get out of here, and I'm going to work hard with somebody to learn how to use a gun. And maybe... if Shepard ever lets me off the ship again, I could be good enough to join some of the missions." She gave me a meaningful glance. "Just like you and Abby," she said.

Part of me wasn't sure about that. The last couple of times Sarah had tried to do that...it hadn't ended well for her or anyone else, so it made me really, really uncertain. I didn't want history to repeat, or worse. Then again, Sarah had grown a lot since the incidents on Haestrom and Tuchanka, both in this world and back in our real world. Maybe this time...she could handle it? Maybe she just wasn't meant to do it back then. "You know what? I believe that you can," I said optimistically.

"I'm gonna do my best," she told me. It sounded like a solemn oath.

And I had to admit, she sounded a lot more determined than before. A lot more determined than I'd heard her in all my years of knowing her, online and here. "I'm right behind you, and so is Abby," I promised her. I didn't want us to just shake our heads at Sarah; admittedly, we probably did that a little too much last time, even if I still did think she had earned it at times. This time, though, I wanted us to simply support her, as we should. I had learned a lot since our last journey, too.

"Good," she said. "And now," she yawned, "I think I want to get some rest." She smiled at me. "Thanks for stopping by. I'm gonna take a nap now."

"You do that; it's a good idea. I will probably go clean up and whatnot...maybe even rest myself. I imagine the summit will be coming soon," I said, standing up and beginning to walk for the door. "It is really good to have you back, Sarah. You don't know how much."

I turned and left...very happy that all three of us were reunited. Maybe things were looking up just a little bit, after all.

* * *

><p>"I think that CO's have some kind of superiority complex. Think about it: people don't like it when a guy treats his girl like his own property. Controls where she goes, who she hangs out with, how she dresses, et cetera. Normally people want the girl to get the hell out of the relationship. Well, just this morning, Ellison stomped into the quarters, said we're going to run twenty miles after breakfast, snapped at me for a stain on my shirt, and told me I'm scrubbing toilets on burrito night. And then he says to us, just now, that he's doing this because he loves us. I think we're in a shitty relationship, bro."<p>

**An NCO to his bunkmate**

Commander Shepard was doing her rounds, both official and unofficial. The unofficial stuff consisted of going around and seeing how everyone was doing mentally, making sure their heads were on straight.

She was grateful that she had EDI and Traynor to fall back on-and in some cases, Joker. The pilot and the AI were the de facto eyes and ears of the Normandy, and Traynor was the assistant who took messages and kept everything else in order. Amelia was very capable woman and an excellent multitasked-and, she liked to believe, a half-decent Spectre-but she was still just one woman.

Garrus was calibrating something on the Normandy weapons' systems. Diana Allers had expressed interest in the Normandy's transmitter, the one that could connect to Earth, so Shepard granted her access for her news stories. Liara was hard at work in her room, performing various tasks as the Shadow Broker-although she had been seen slipping out of that room time to time to get a drink, a snack, or simply to use the bathroom. Liara's job seemed overwhelming at the least, impossible at most. Shepard was going to keep an eye on her. The last thing they needed was for their information broker to burn out.

HK had just barely left Sarah's side a while ago. She'd checked in on Sarah a few minutes ago, who was resting after a grueling exercise. Shortly after that, Shepard contacted HK and asked him to join James and Abby down in the cargo bay for some more training and exercise. Shepard figured they should work out a little more before she would take them on any further missions. HK wasn't ready, she knew that going in. Abby would definitely not be ready.

They were just kids. Ballsy kids, but still – just kids.

She had an ulterior motive – she wanted James to cool down and intuitively felt that slamming them together in a room to work together was a risk she should take. James was a team player, but he was still spreading negative scuttlebutt and that couldn't happen. If she were a different person, she'd make him stand in line. But a good team trusted each other. James would realize the benefits eventually.

And if things didn't work out, there was always a Plan B.

The human Spectre pushed those thoughts out of her mind as she passed through the War Room, feigning a patience she did not feel as the decontamination rays swept back and forth across her. The two women standing guard were Joker's security detail from Earth. They'd been stuck standing outside the War Room ever since they'd left Earth.

They could always go mop the floor and clean the bathrooms like Sarah used to if they got tired of this. Shepard suppressed a small smile at the humorous thought as she passed on through. Apparently, even in the midst of all this stress, her brain still had the capability to contemplate jokes.

Shepard entered the war room, nodding at a few individuals who acknowledged her or saluted as she passed. She'd almost forgotten what that was like. Cerberus regulations were not as formal.

She was mildly surprised to see Primarch Victus speaking with Irren Lokam in the middle of the War Room. Shepard hadn't spoken to Irren much since she'd first met him on Menae, and she didn't know much about him except that he had been Sarah's bodyguard. The only reason he was on the ship now was because of the Sarah Incident.

She had his presence on her ship in the back of her mind-along with what seemed like a million other things-but she hadn't decided yet what she would do with him. She knew that she didn't have any military authority over him, that falling to Victus – another thing to sort out.

"Ah, Commander Shepard," Victus greeted her. "It is good to see you."

"Hello, Commander," Irren greeted with a salute. Somewhat surprising, but she returned it nonetheless.

"Primarch, Lieutenant. Having a nice chat?" she asked.

"Yes, indeed," Victus said. "Lieutenant Lokam here is a bright young turian. I've been speaking with him over the past couple of hours, and..." He gave the younger turian a meaningful look. "Well?" the Primarch prompted. "What do you think of my proposal?"

"What proposal?" Shepard asked, casting both of them a curious look, especially when Irren seemed to hesitate.

"Obviously I won't be staying on the Normandy forever, Commander Shepard," the Primarch answered. "I'd like someone to remain here on my behalf once I am gone, as my representative." He looked from Shepard, back to Irren. "If he agrees, he will report directly to me to keep me updated on your mission's progress against the Reapers. He, in turn, can keep you informed of any changes on Palaven and make certain you stay informed of any messages from me."

"Ah," Shepard said, already pondering the idea. "I'm amenable to this, Primarch."

"So, what do you say?" Victus asked Irren, obviously wanting an answer. Shepard folded her arms in a thoughtful gesture, regarding the younger turian as well.

"It would be an honor, sir. I'm just a soldier, but if you give the order, I'll do it gladly," Irren said softly. He seemed like a quiet individual to start with, but Shepard sensed a thoughtfulness beneath his façade. A little too wordy for a soldier.

"You'll do well," the Primarch stated.

"Thank you, sir."

Victus nodded, and then he turned his attention to Shepard. "Now, Commander, was there something you wished to discuss?" he asked formally.

"Just wanted to see how things were going down here," the Commander replied. "How are things on Palaven?"

The Primarch sighed. "Not good," he answered. "This is why we need the krogan. Even with our full military support focusing on Menae, Palaven, and our colony worlds..." He sighed. "We're stretched very thin, and my people are being slaughtered by thousands every day. I..." He hesitated, as if uncertain whether he should finish that thought.

He did anyway. "I wish I was there with my men," he stated grimly.

"So do I, sir," Irren said, looking at the Primarch. "But we must be here right now; if we want Palaven to survive, it's up to people like us to go out and unite the forces of the galaxy. I wish I could be there with them, but I trust our men to hold up."

Shepard knew how that felt. She still hated the fact that she couldn't have stayed on Earth with Anderson... would he even survive this war? How was he doing on Earth, right now? No, she couldn't think about that right now. She'd spoken to him, briefly, after rescuing the students from Grissom Academy; he'd been concerned about Kahlee Sanders.

"Stay positive," she said. "If you give into despair, you're letting the Reapers win." That's something that she had to tell herself every night when she went to bed. Maybe in a way, that was part of Sarah's problem. Sometimes when you stopped moving, and settled down for a brief rest... that's when all of your fears and negative emotions came crashing down on you.

"Yes, of course," Victus said, clearing his throat. "How much longer until we reach the Summit?" he wanted to know. He was all business now, pleased to have something to focus on. Everyone needed something to do in this war, some way to keep moving forward so that they wouldn't lose their sanity during the quiet moments.

"About four more hours," Shepard told him.

The Primarch sighed. She knew exactly what he was thinking. Every second that ticked by, more turians-and humans-were dying. In four hours, another million or so could be dead or badly wounded.

Right now, both of them-and many others-wanted the Reapers to be stopped. Yet here they were, spending precious time going through space to get to yet another political meeting. Shepard could only hope that they would actually get somewhere, and that they wouldn't have to waste so much time like the Council did already. Although, this was going to be a meeting with Primarch Victus, Urdnot Wrex, and the salarian dalatrass. She had a feeling that it wasn't going to be the usual run-of-the-mill political meeting, especially with Wrex there.

Then again, all the spare time had allowed them to save Grissom Academy... if they hadn't been there, Cerberus would have taken Jack and the students and done who-knew-what to them.

"Lokam," Victus said, "I'd like you to compile my reports and send them to the High Command center on Palaven."

"Yes, sir. Now that I've been released from the Medical Bay, I'll be of far more use," Irren replied with a nod. " Where would I be able to compile the reports?"

He looked from the Primarch to Shepard, likely since she knew the ship better than Victus did.

"You can work in here if you want," Shepard replied. "Check with the requisition officer if you need anything. His name is Hendricks. I'll have EDI set you up your own account to get into the mainframe." She glanced between them again. "Is there anything that you need?" she asked.

Irren coughed, and it suddenly looked as if he was slightly uncomfortable . He looked down for a moment, before looking at the Commander. "Well, in the avalanche on Menae, everything that I had on me was crushed. I don't know what happened to it; next thing I knew, I was in a hospital gown on the Citadel, and was just given this extra pair of clothes. Anything else of mine would be back on Menae or Palaven; I don't have anything. Armor, weapons, omni tool...not that I need those things to compile reports, ma'am, and I don't want to be a burden."

Shepard was already nodding. "Yes. What's left of your armor is in storage, I apologize for not letting you know sooner. You'll need a replacement set, though. Also, if you're going to be on this ship, we may have need of you on the ground. We do three-man operations mostly, and I try to rotate people out. If somebody gets hurt or injured, I might call on you to fill a spot. Primarch?"

"If you have need of him, feel free to take him," the Primarch replied. "I trust in your leadership capabilities, Commander. Irren Lokam will serve as my intermediary and as support for your ground assaults."

"Thank you," she said with an incline of her head. "That will help us. We have an area on Deck Five for you to train and refit your weapons as necessary. For now you can choose from our stock, but that doesn't get rid of the armor issue. For now you'll stay aboard until we can get you fitted on the Citadel." She looked at the Primarch meaningfully. "I'll foot the bill for this one. Unless you're willing to ship your blue military armor to the Normandy, he won't be in uniform. Will this be a problem?"

The Primarch had to think about it. "I want him to have two sets. His own, and a military-issued kit. I'll order that and have it waiting for you on the Citadel. He's still one of my men."

"I wouldn't have it any other way, sir."

"This is good," said the Primarch. "I like this. Having a turian presence in the affairs will send out a good image. United."

"It will," Shepard replied. "And the extra guns are nice, too. As for the omni-tools, I have a spare he can use."

Actually, she had _three_ spare omni-tools in her quarters. They had belonged to Abby, HK and Sarah the last time they had been on the Normandy, before they died. Now that Abby and HK had gotten new omni-tools-at the same time that Garrus helped them get new armor during their shopping trip on the Citadel-they didn't need the old ones anymore.

Shepard contemplated the idea of giving Sarah's original omni-tool back to her. She didn't see why not... especially since the Commander herself had personally deleted everything off of it. Specifically, some very graphic pictures of a specific turian. If nothing else, she had to admit that Kasumi had a knack at photography. If the woman ever wanted a change in career, she'd still have it made.

"Thank you, Commander," Irren said, still seeming slightly embarrassed. "I definitely appreciate it. And like I said, Primarch, I will get to work ASAP."

He was one wordy turian. Maybe that'd be for the better.

"Very good," the Primarch said with approval.

They concluded their conversation, and Shepard left, feeling as though much had been accomplished. There wasn't anything that else they could discuss, not until they reached the summit at least. "I'll see you both later," the Commander said, and then she headed back the way she came.

Shepard went through the decontamination area again and then rode the lift up to her quarters. Once there, she retrieved two omni-tools; Sarah's old one, and Abby's old one. She paused briefly before leaving her quarters, taking a thoughtful glance around. She sincerely hoped that there wouldn't be any more husk spiders this time around...

The Commander ended up handing Abby's old omni-tool to Traynor, asking her to take it down to Irren when she got a chance. Then Shepard got back into the elevator and headed down to the medical bay, where she went to visit Sarah again.

Sarah was awake, and she appeared to be eating lunch. She seemed to be getting a little more control of her new arm; she was actually using it to balance the lunch tray on her lap. She glanced up when Shepard entered.

"Hi, Commander," Sarah greeted.

"Hey," Shepard greeted. "I brought you this." She handed the younger woman the omni-tool. "I figured you might be able to use this. But..." She raised a chilly eyebrow, even though her eyes held a slight amount of amusement. "I don't want to hear about you getting more pictures of naked turians while you serve on my ship. Not Garrus, not Lokam, and definitely not the Primarch. Understood?"

Sarah looked chastised, and she blushed. But she also seemed to pick up on the fact that Shepard was teasing just a little, even if she was mostly serious. "Got it," Sarah said with a simple nod.

"Good," Shepard said, giving her a friendly pat on the shoulder. "Enjoy your lunch." With that, she turned and left the medical bay.

* * *

><p><strong>(Sarah)<strong>

I finished my lunch in silence, and then I put the tray aside. I looked upward and spoke to the ceiling. "EDI," I said. "If Joker doesn't need his co-pilot right now... can I see you in person for a moment? The _real _co-pilot, not Abby."

"Certainly," EDI answered.

A couple of minutes later, the fem-bot strolled casually into the medical bay and looked at me. She clasped her hands behind her back. I wasn't sure if that was a chosen mannerism, or if she was mimicking someone from the crew who'd done it. "Yes, Sarah?" she asked.

"Hey, I was wondering if you could do me a favor," I said with a smile.

"I presume that this is something you need hands or feet for," EDI said.

"How'd you know?"

"Otherwise, you would have asked me over the ship's comm," EDI replied. "After all, you know that I am always here."

That was true. "I was wondering if you could carry me somewhere, just for a while," I asked her. "Bridal style again, if you please."

EDI cocked her head to one side. "I see," she said. "You wish the crew to reaffirm the fact that you are a lesbian." Beat. "That was a joke."

"You and Joker should form a comedy duo," I said dryly. "Come on, are you gonna take me somewhere or not?"

"It depends on where you want to go, and whether or not Dr. Chakwas says that it is okay."

Chakwas was already looking at us from her workstation. "Yes, it depends on where you want to go, Sarah," she echoed.

"I just want to go to the gun room, or wherever Garrus is," I said, shrugging one shoulder. "Come on, just for a little bit? For old time's sake?" I gave what I hoped was a cute puppy dog look. "Pretty please?"

EDI looked at Chakwas. Chakwas sighed. "I say check with Garrus, see if he's up for visitors," she said.

Somehow I detected an undertone in that sentence, something like, _'See if he's in the mood to be pestered.'_

"I will contact Garrus now," EDI said, and then fell silent. Obviously, the part of her that was within the ship was talking to Garrus, wherever he was. It was an exchange that occurred elsewhere, and I did not hear it. EDI's body seemed to stare off into space for several seconds, and then she looked at me again. "Garrus has agreed to let you visit him," she told me. "But only for a short while, and he says to mind your manners."

"Hey, I've already promised Shepard to be good," I said.

"Very well," EDI said, and then she gently scooped me up into her arms.

"So," I said before we left the medical bay, "is this how you're gonna handle Joker when you guys get hitched? You gonna carry him across the threshold?" I grinned, unable to resist getting a jab in.

"Ho, ho, very funny," Joker's voice said over the speakers. Didn't he have better things to do than watch me all the time? Unless it was that boring in the cockpit sometimes...

A short time later, EDI entered the gunnery with me in her arms. She set me down on the floor in the corner, making certain I was in a comfortable seated position against the wall. Then the fem-bot left as quickly as she entered. Maybe even more quickly, since I wasn't in her arms.

"Hi, Garrus," I said with a smile. "Long time no see." The last time I'd really seen him had been on Menae. And he was yelling at me.

"Sarah. It's good to see you're alive and well," Garrus said, sounding friendly and slightly pleased to see me, almost. "Welcome back to the Normandy."

"Thanks," I said with genuine appreciation. "So... how are you?"

"As well as can be expected. There's a war going on, my planet is burning...a lot of friends have died, and I don't know what's become of my family," Garrus replied morosely.

"Don't worry, this war will be over... eventually," I told him confidently. "We need to cure the-I mean, get the krogan to cooperate," I said, catching myself before making a potential slip, "and then we need to sort everything out between the quarians and the geth... and then work things out with the asari." I sighed. "All that's going to take a while," I told him. "But don't worry," I added quickly. "From my visions, your family makes it out okay."

Garrus paused for a moment, not saying anything. "Thank you, I appreciate that," he said softly. "And it sounds like we have quite a mission ahead of us. Don't we always."

He paused again for a moment, hitting in several things on the console before him, like he often did. "By the way, Sarah, I wanted to thank you for telling me about Primarch Fedorian. I know that he died anyway, unfortunately, but...I appreciate the effort, and the trust. I don't want to know everything, but little things like these mean a lot."

"You're welcome," I told him. "I promised Shepard I was gonna try to be more of a team-player this time, and... cause less trouble," I told him. Somehow it felt important for him to know that I'd made that promise. Maybe it was because he was the one I'd spoken to the most on the last mission... besides Kasumi.

Maybe I should send Kasumi an email and let her know of that promise, too. Just so she wouldn't worry.

"I'm not gonna be a headache to anyone anymore," I told him, giving him the most serious stare I'd ever given anyone on this ship. I conveyed my solemn oath to him just as I had to Shepard.

"Good. I'd really prefer not to have anymore exposing pictures of myself being thrown around the ship, as tempting as it may be," Garrus said with a chuckle.

I groaned and buried my face into my good hand. I was definitely making progress with my new arm, but not enough to move it at will yet-especially not quickly. "Please don't ever mention that again," I grumbled. "Seriously... I didn't think I'd be alive to see you again after you... read that goodbye letter."

"Well, I suppose life has a way of bringing around everything for you to face," Garrus remarked. "I won't mention it again. Just don't give me a reason to."

"Don't worry," I told him. "Besides, I've got my eyes on someone else anyway," I said, almost dreamily.

Somehow that sounded better in my head than it did being spoken.

"Ahh," Garrus said, as if a realization hit him. "That makes sense. I won't say anything."

I narrowed my eyes a little. "Yeah well, I'd rather not know what you want to say," I said simply. Then again... just as long as he didn't think I had a crush on the Primarch, we were all good.

"So," I said, trying to change the subject, "is it true that you and Irren are distantly related? I mean, he mentioned something about that on Menae."

"Ahh, yes, we are. Barely. He's a good soldier, and a good man," Garrus explained to me. "You were fortunate to have him as your bodyguard."

"He seemed pretty loyal," I commented. "I mean... he stayed with me even when I ran out of the turian camp on Menae. Even when the brutes were coming at me, even when the avalanche was coming down on us..." I sighed, once again sounding kind of... dreamy. Hey, a girl had to think about something if she was going to escape bad nightmares and forget her problems.

"He was... my hero." I blinked a little. "And then Kasumi was my hero on the Citadel," I added, unaware that I was starting to ramble. "And then Thane saved me... I'm surrounded by good people."

I smiled up at him. "I'm gonna do better this time," I told him again, with confidence. "This time, I'm going to do everything right. I am going to learn to walk again, and then I'm going to learn to use a gun."

"I'm glad to hear it. Just...be careful, and take it one step at a time. Don't rush anything," Garrus told me. "And we're here for you, to help you; I'll try to help however I can. But you need to stand on your own two feet. Er, wait, that sounded bad. Sorry. You know what I mean."

"I really appreciate that," I said. "So um... what was it like, when everybody thought I... died? How did Shepard take it? How did HK and Abby take it?"

"There were a mix of emotions. General Corinthus contacted Shepard and told her about you fleeing from the camp; she had to make a choice between you and Victus, and you have to understand that we all knew that we needed Victus to help stop this war. He was our only hope. Shepard and I were both...frustrated with a lot of things; the war, you running off...it was tough," Garrus explained to me, slightly somber. "When we told Abby and HK… I think they were angry at Shepard. We haven't talked that much."

I scowled at him a little. "Excuse me, but I was running blind when I ran out of the camp," I said defensively. "I heard the Reapers screaming in my head, as if they were trying to control me. And there were Brutes coming at me. I panicked. In case you've forgotten, I didn't get a whole lot of experience out in the battlefield, and nobody bothered to try and help me get over my fears during the last mission."

I sighed, realizing that I was being a little snippy. But my talk with Shepard had encouraged me to open up about my feelings more. I couldn't keep stuffing things down anymore. "I'm sorry if I sound snappy," I told him in a softer tone. "It just seems like Abby and HK always fit in without a problem, and did everything right. Me? I got to clean the floors, and... okay, I'll admit I caused a lot of problems, and I'm sorry for that. But maybe some people just need a little more time and patience before they can be anywhere near your level, okay?"

I could have continued that rant a little further, but I realized something. Somehow, while I was focused on talking to Garrus, I had managed to rise a little bit off the floor. Maybe my body was had remembered my old limbs, and was substituting the new ones in their place or something. However, once I made the realization, they caved and I ended up sitting down on the floor again, hard. I gritted my teeth in frustration; this was going to get annoying fast if this kept up.

"I understand why you did what you did; I know you were scared. It was a tough spot to be in, that was all, particularly for Shepard. And Abby and HK didn't understand," Garrus told me. "And I know things haven't been easy on you, either, this time or last time. However, Abby and HK haven't fit in as perfectly as they did, either; most of the crew isn't friendly to them. James certainly isn't, and admittedly, neither am I most of the time."

"Why not?" I asked with a little shrug. "You seem pretty calm and friendly around me right now." I grinned in spite of myself. "That happy to see me alive?" I asked, almost playfully.

"It's been hard, Sarah, and you know what? We all have bigger things to worry about that your games," Garrus said. "My world's burning and all of you know how this war will end, and you won't say anything. So if we sound a _little bit_ upset, we have good reason."

"Yeah well... if it means anything, I kind of told Shepard how this war will end during her long talk with me," I confided. I frowned, knowing that maybe I shouldn't have said anything. If that got around, everybody might start pestering Shepard for the info... or they might think they can pressure me for more information.

And what would HK and Abby think, if or when they found out that I'd given Shepard some of the intel from the Extended Cut ending?

"Huh," Garrus said.

"If we spill too much, and if the future changes... well, we probably won't get new visions, so we have to stick with what we know," I reminded him.

"Agreed. I'm not saying you need to tell us everything. It's just hard for the people who don't have these visions, like the rest of the crew, to understand," Garrus told me. "Especially the newer people, like James. This Normandy is a different one than the one you're accustomed to."

I guess I hadn't realized that, especially since I'd been stuck in the medical bay-and I would continue to be stuck there until I could walk again. "I won't have people glaring at me wherever I go when I can move around again, will I?" I asked with uncertainty.

"Probably not. They may just not be the most friendly," Garrus answered.

"Gotcha," I replied with a little nod. "Well... I think I'll get back to the medical bay now," I told him. "I'll let you get back to your... calibrating. Nice to see you, and thanks for talking to me," I said with a small smile.

"It's nice to have you back, Sarah. I'm glad you made it out alive."

"Thanks." I cleared my throat, and looked toward the ceiling. "EDI," I began, but I was interrupted.

"I have already informed Dr. Chakwas," the AI said. "She is on her way."

Wow, EDI was pretty efficient. "Thanks," I said.

A couple minutes later, I was back in the medical bay and back in my bed. I decided I would simply rest until Chakwas was ready to continue physical therapy with me.

* * *

><p><strong>(Abby)<strong>

HK and I hadn't had much of a chance to hang out or interact for some time... at least, not _alone_. Now that I slept in the female crew quarters and HK slept in the men's quarters, it was harder to be alone. I began to miss the good old days more and more, where there was only the skeleton Cerberus crew and we got a room all to ourselves.

At least if Sarah got released, she'd be in the room with me. I think there was a spare bed in there that wasn't being used... then again, no one on the ship had their "own" bed anymore. While you were up and about performing your shift, someone from the previous shift would go in and sleep in the bed you'd just deserted.

It was weird sleeping in a bed you shared with another person. Sometimes I could smell her perfume on the pillow, and there was something disconcerting about how the bed was usually still warm when I was getting in it. It didn't feel like my own. I felt like I was stealing.

Just like in Japan, people had chores and were expected to do them. I got to mop the bathrooms tomorrow. Whoopee!

I wondered if Sarah would up doing some of that stuff again once she got back on her feet. Shepard wouldn't want anyone to be idle for long on this ship, after all.

Lately, it seemed like the only times I saw HK were either in the mess hall during our meals, or here in the cargo hold. Apparently Shepard wanted to make sure we were "fit for duty" as she put it... even though I was sure that HK proved himself during the mission to Grissom Academy.

I had a sneaking suspicion that Shepard was trying to help James Vega get to know us better by forcing us into this particular "training session". He was a big gorilla of a man who appeared able to bend steel with his teeth and take down many enemies at long-range and short-range. I wasn't exactly a push-over but…

I was kind of a push-over compared to him.

Something about James Vega kind of... intimidated me. His size, mainly. I saw him grab HK right before my eyes and hold him in a bone-crushing bear-hug until HK's eyes nearly popped out of his skull. He then released HK, wheezing and breathless on the floor, and I saw my friend on his hands and knees as he struggled to catch his breath.

"Just trying to give you an example of what you're up against once you go out there," James told us, folding his big beefy arms and hovering over us like we were toddlers as I crouched down beside HK to see if he was alright. "Hacker, you did pretty well on Grissom Academy, but what happens when you face a real enemy that isn't even human? Or one of Cerberus's more powerful, veteran teams? You wouldn't last _two seconds_."

I pursed my lips, bending my head low as I checked on HK so that James couldn't see my expression. My friend was recovering, so I helped him into a more comfortable sitting position before I whirled on the bigger man.

"Look," I said firmly, crossing my own arms to mirror him-in spite of my much shorter stance, I still knew how to look intimidating when I wanted to. "We know we suck compared to you. So show us how to get better."

I cast HK another quick glance, worried for a moment that his rib cage might have been bruised... or worse. But I knew that James had more self-control than that; he was trying to make a point, but he wouldn't injure us. Shepard would never forgive him.

"Daisycup," he said, calling be by my new nickname, "I don't care what happened the last time you were here. Shepard wants you here, I understand that. But you've got no business going on away missions."

He pointed at HK. "You saw what I did to your friend; one squeeze, and he's down like a limp noodle."

"Because you took him by surprise," I argued. "He wasn't wearing any armor, and you took him off-guard." I stared up at his face levelly, refusing to back down.

He met my stare evenly. "So you think any enemies we face now are going to tap you politely on the shoulder to announce your presence before they attack?" He snorted. " You're going to slow us down and get us _killed_."

I felt my cheeks growing hot as I narrowed my eyes into a scowl. "So what's this about then?" I asked. "Tell us."

"I want both of you to see that you have no business going into fights. If I had been one of those Reaper husk things, Hacker would be dead right now. I want both of you to go to Shepard and tell her that you won't be going into fights anymore." _Hacker_ was James' casual reference to people who were, in his opinion, where they shouldn't be.

"I disagree," I said stoically.

James sighed and gazed skyward, as if catching himself just short of rolling his eyes. "Even if you can," he acknowledged slowly, "it's not a good idea for you to leave the ship. Cerberus knows about you guys, and they'll want you. I heard about their attack on your friend in the medical bay, plus the Reapers will want to know what you know. So why should the Commander put you into situations where you might be captured, or killed?"

"If you feel so strongly about this, why not ask the Commander herself?" I asked. I knew that James was an outspoken individual in his own way, especially when it came to topics he felt passionate about. Since he was already spreading rumors about us around the Normandy, there was no doubt in my mind that he would eventually say this to Shepard whether I approved or not.

"I've already said it to her," James stated. "Point-blank to her face, right where you're standing now." He cocked his head toward the shuttle, where Cortez was doing some work. "Just ask Esteban over there; he saw the whole exchange, _even if he pretended not to notice_!"

I blinked a little, shocked. "What did Shepard say?" I asked. I felt something at my shoulder; HK had apparently recovered, more or less. He was standing just behind me now, wheezing.

"What do you think?"

Well, it was good to know that James knew he couldn't order us around.

"If I may say something," HK chimed in, speaking for the first time since catching his breath. "James, I know you think we're withholding information and that we shouldn't be fighting. I see where you're coming from, and you've made excellent points. But we need to be here, and we're going to help Shepard as much as we are able, just like we did last time."

"Yeah, two kids and a young woman who was so stupid she went and get her leg chopped off," James retorted.

I could tell when a conversation was starting to go in pointless circles, and this one was already doing that. "We're here, and we're staying, and unless Shepard says otherwise, we are going to keep going with her and keep on fighting," I vowed. I met his gaze again, making it absolutely clear that he couldn't boss me around or make me back down. He wasn't going to push me around. "If you need some proof of my abilities, why don't you take me on?"

Hmm… okay, maybe I shouldn't have said that.

James actually looked like he was trying to bite back a laugh. "You have absolutely no muscle on you, and you look like I could pick you up and put you over my knee easily. Look, kid, you obviously don't belong here. It would be like... duking it out with a pyjack. You couldn't handle me."

His words stunned me, and then infuriated me. Suddenly I realized why he referred to me as Daisycup, and why he'd grabbed HK instead of me to prove his point. To him, I was nothing but a kid. He saw me as this little schoolgirl who had nothing better to do than talk about boys or whine about a chipped nail.

I was really, really considering the idea of challenging him. As long as I was fast enough, I might have a chance, plus my body here had learned a few tricks that it hadn't learned in the real world. I could put them to good use here.

But he seemed to be one step ahead of me. As if reading my mind, he shook his head slightly. "I think we've spent enough time down here," he said. "You kids can target practice without me. I need to go take a shower." With that, he spun on his heel and marched to the nearest turbolift.

"Abby, are you okay?" HK asked me, touching my shoulder with concern. If anything, I should have been asking him that. The expression on my face must have been something.

"I hate arguing with walls. Especially one built like a brick shithouse."

"I know," HK nodded sympathetically. "But Shepard trusts us. Maybe James and some of the others just need a little more time."

I remembered my conversation with Garrus; I believed that I made some headway with him. Hopefully, by the time all of this was over, everyone would at least learn to accept our presence.

If we survived that long.

"Come on," I grumbled. "Let's spar. Half-speed."


End file.
